back to article Bunch of mugs keep risking life and limb to 'crockery bomb' sad little roundabout

Right, we know this pandemic has gone on quite long enough, but the boredom-busting activities are getting ridiculous. Can someone explain "crockery bombing" to us? Fresh from heralding the return of the Turkey Twizzler as a three-metre graven idol, the Eastern Daily Press has brought us word of the phenomenon engulfing the …

  1. My-Handle Silver badge

    Oh come on...

    "placing the tea-cups on a busy roundabout is dangerous"...

    True, but no more dangerous than crossing any other road.

    "not just for the perpetrator but also for the drivers using the roundabout"

    Ffs. A handful of mugs on a roundabout is dangerous to a driver? Why? Are they distracting in some way, more so than any other random roundabout decorations, or even a sodding traffic cone? A pair of jugs maybe, but not a bunch of mugs.

    None of the above is an issue beyond the normal or everyday. Common sense and driving / crossing with due care and attention negates any real risk. The council could have come across as a lot less tight-assed by saying "Well, we don't get it but it's just a bit of fun. Just take care doing it and don't do it if it would put you in danger."

    1. TheProf Silver badge

      Re: Oh come on...

      But, but, but it's DANGEROUS!!!!!

      You can't expect a council to condone anything DANGEROUS!!!!!

      How would they explain to the grieving relatives of some stupid arse who got himself or herself (or its-self) mown down that it was just a bit of fun? Councils aren't there for fun.

      1. My-Handle Silver badge

        Re: Oh come on...

        "Councils aren't there for fun."

        And boy do they enjoy letting you know it :-)

        1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

          Re: Oh come on...

          I dunno, our local council is very keen on film festivals, carnivals, light nights and beer festivals.

          I'm pretty sure they're considered fun by some...

      2. Juan Inamillion

        Re: Oh come on...

        Won't somebody think of the children!!

      3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Devil

        Re: Oh come on...

        How would they explain to the grieving relatives of some stupid arse who got himself or herself (or its-self) mown down that it was just a bit of fun?

        They could say, "think of it as evolution in action."

        Would that help?

    2. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

      Re: Oh come on...

      Or even: "What great japes! Send us your mugs and we'll arrange them for you".

    3. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Oh come on...

      They're referring to the time of placement, not the fact that the crockery is there.

      Drivers wouldn't normally expect to encounter pedestrians on a roundabout.

      I still think they're over-reacting, but at least I can understand what they're concerned about.

      Obviously the only safe option is to deposit said china by quadcopter.

    4. First Light Bronze badge

      Re: Oh come on...

      "Pair of jugs"?

      That's a bit 1970's of you.

    5. Youngone Silver badge

      Hangings too good for 'em

      This is probably some young people with their terrible haircuts having fun, and I for one will not stand for it.

      A spell in the army would do 'em all good.

      Bah!

      1. 0laf Silver badge

        Re: Hangings too good for 'em

        Possible shards of broken crockery spread over a road wouldn't make for the best driving/cycling experience. But aye I'm sure there are better ways to whinge.

      2. David 132 Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Hangings too good for 'em

        A spell in the army would do 'em all good.

        Yes!

        That would be an ecumenical matter!

    6. Jan 0 Silver badge

      Re: Oh come on...

      This is the same Highways Agency that won't remove illegal (and distracting) road signs! (For example, if you drive up from the Smoke you'll likely see unlicensed hoardings advertising a distillery by the A11.) Maybe the cups need to include brown envelopes?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    a rather depressing road feature.

    Methinks (comparing backgrounds with the local media's pictures), it's not the linked-to roundabout which has the crockery, but the nearby but further inland one... although both are equally depressing.

    I'm sure with that important clarification, you can now all rest more easily in your beds :-)

  3. Efer Brick

    Tea Junction?

    1. Commswonk Silver badge

      Tea Junction?

      Perhaps; I was wondering "saucery", resulting in a Magic Roundabout.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Pity it wasn't in Boston, lincolnshire.

      Are you going to the party?

      Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?

      Going to the party?

      Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?

      Going to the party?

      Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?

      Going to the party?

      Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Upvoted for the SAHB reference!

      2. Franco Silver badge

        Red Coats in the village, and there's fighting in the streets!

        It makes no sense to me at all that SAHB (and Nazareth) are almost forgotten these days, given the bands they influenced.

        1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

          I was at one of their retirement tour gigs in Camden about ten or fifteen years ago - mere decades after Alex died...

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Pity it wasn't in Boston, lincolnshire.

        Rob Lowe wouldn't allow it.

  4. Paul Herber Silver badge

    tea

    and towels

    1. Marcelo Rodrigues
      Boffin

      Re: tea

      "tea

      and towels"

      42 of them

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I want to start a kickstarter!

    Get as many folks as possible to send in all their spare china (small c) to help the artists express themselves to a much greater degree.

    How much fun could be had with a few megagrams of crockery sent to the town?

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: I want to start a kickstarter!

      I have a few taking up space better used for beer glasses!

  6. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge
    FAIL

    In the words of Winston Churchill: [this sort of nonsense] makes you proud to be British

  7. The Pi Man

    You can see their point...

    It’s clearly dangerous and all that loose crockery is likely to cause significantly more damage to cars than if the car hit the road signs and lamposts, or kicked up all those loose chippings....

    Council staff clearly have too much time on their hands.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You can see their point...

      Potholes?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: You can see their point...

        "Use bits of broken pottery to fill the potholes... helps with the drainage"

        Charlie's Dimmocks

  8. First Light Bronze badge

    Plants!

    If they really want to stop it, they can build it up, put some soil in and some plants.

    But they would have to make a committee to study it for a year, three years to bid it out, two more years to build it and six months later bulldoze it all over.

    Maybe the mugs are a better idea.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Plants!

      Hmm, perhaps (very) long vehicles sometime drive over the roundabout, because they are too long to steer around it?

      1. First Light Bronze badge

        Re: Plants!

        You mean the Council is worried they'll smash the mugs? That WOULD be a pity!

      2. james_smith Silver badge

        Re: Plants!

        It's illegal to drive over the centre of a roundabout, so long vehicles would be prohibited from a road where that would happen.

  9. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Where is the danger ?

    Honestly, where ?

    Do traffic laws in Britain mandate that one drives through the roundabout ? I don't have a British driver's license, but somehow I think they teach you to drive around the middle, just like in every other country.

    The picture speaks for itself : there aren't all that many cars and the roundabout isle itself is barren. You can easily drive your car onto it, get out without bothering traffic at all or putting yourself into any sort of danger (unless there's a spy chase barreling down on you - then all bets are off and you're probably dead even if you weren't in the middle of the road), set your mugs artfully and then drive off without any trouble.

    Especially if you have the help of a spotter who tells you when the road is free to get back on.

    Sure, I understand that it is not something any municipal counsel is actually supposed to condone, but from there to cautioning people about danger, come on.

    You could put a lounge chair in the middle and set yourself up with a table, a glass, an ice bucket with a nice bottle of Claret and a book and spend a marvelous afternoon. With a parasol if the sun is a mite hot. The only problem you'll risk is that of a police officer coming to get rid of you.

    1. Giles C Bronze badge

      Re: Where is the danger ?

      There are a couple of roundabouts near me which are in small junctions and only marked by a painted circle, and maybe a layer of bricks set into the tarmac. As one of these is the entrance to a Tesco store the trucks do go straight over the centre as there isn’t enough room to go round, try it on a bike and the kerb is just high enough to tip you off though.

      Yes I do know from experience....

    2. First Light Bronze badge

      Re: Where is the danger ?

      Claret? Surely tea is the more obvious choice?

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  10. earl grey Silver badge
    Trollface

    BOFH mug

    wait a minute, is there still a BOFH in existence?

    1. iron Silver badge

      Re: BOFH mug

      Working from home makes it a bit difficult to cattle-prod a beancounter or push the boss out of a window. I imagine by now Simon's dog is avoiding him!

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: BOFH mug

        Cattle-prodding and defenestration are now more difficult, yes. But that only increases the challenge.

        It is only when we're challenged that we can soar!

        Admittedly, sometimes that's out of a fifth storey window...

  11. TaabuTheCat

    Driving directions

    Go to the tea in the road and make a right...

  12. cd

    One word for those decorating pranksters: epoxy.

    1. seven of five Silver badge

      Uh, epoxy. We (a few friends of me, my younger me and quite a lot of beer) once epoxied a car to the parking lot it sat on. Filled the tire tread with it. They had to resurface the lot when the finally got it removed, good thing nobody saw us back then.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Epoxied a few coins to the pavement outside my house when I was a kid. Kept me entertained for a short while, but they were there for years.

    3. rototype

      Re: Epoxy

      Nah, that roundabout looks like it's got gravel on top, epoxy will never stick to that. What you really need is quick setting concrete, they'll have a devil of a job getting that off. (and if they're anything like our local council when concrete's spilled on the road they won't even bother).

  13. Securitymoose

    Crime of the Century?

    must be that Highways England have no sense of humour.

    And yet they can allow big signs advertising, for example, Joe Scumbag's Holistic Facemask Emporium, because Joe has bunged them a couple of quid.

    Perhaps they should better spend their time on keeping the traffic moving and repairing our pothole-scarred road surfaces?

    1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Crime of the Century?

      Round here it's randomly tamac scarred gravel pits

  14. Big_Boomer Silver badge

    "the phenomenon engulfing the town of Gorleston, literally on the arse end of England (Norfolk)."

    The arse(hole) of England is London. You can tell because you can smell the sh!t emanating from it just by standing downwind or watching/reading any government press briefing, or by reading any of the Daily Tabloids. Gorleston is better described as a pimple on the right buttock of England.

    As for the Crockers of the newly christened "TeaPot" roundabout on the A47, good on ya. :-)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Arsehole of the Universe

      Coventry is the Arsehole of the Universe, and Walsgrave Hospital was the Arsehole of Coventry. Thank $deity it has been bulldozed and replaced by UHCW (although I suspect that even that is no better, really)

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