My Home Office
I was so disappointed, I thought it was so the kids could set themselves up as Priti Patel and manage immigration, security and law-and-order for the neighbourhood.
"Yes, very good, the balls are the same. Now stop distracting me and let me finish this job." Now imagine your little one shooing away pretend children of their own from their "work area". You don't have to imagine thanks to plastic landfill merchant Fisher-Price, which is about to roll its "My Home Office" play set on 28 …
We need to make sure that children follow in the footsteps that society has prescribed for them: be good little automatons and slave your life away in order to keep food on your table and useless items in your cupboards.
And did we mention to make sure you vote to give us exclusive power to protect you from the Bogeyman, and just about everything else that isn't you?
We knew you could.
The "My First Ministerial Portfolio" set will be coming soon. It will include an empty suitcase (for storing your empty suits), one way air tickets to a variety of destinations in Africa and the Caribbean, and large bundles of £50 notes to give to your friends and family.
"The "My First Ministerial Portfolio" set will be coming soon. It will include an empty suitcase (for storing your empty suits), one way air tickets to a variety of destinations in Africa and the Caribbean, and large bundles of £50 notes to give to your friends and family."
I thought the empty suitcase was to store the bundles of £50 notes?
To be fair, the police don't claim that stun guns are not dangerous. They say that they are "less lethal". Which is the absolute truth.
How many people who are a threat to the general public and/or themselves have been zapped and taken into custody, none the worse for wear (and alive, good to waste everybody's time and/or hurt somebody, as soon as the 72 hour hold is up), that would otherwise have been shot and potentially killed with conventional firearms? Last time I looked, the numbers were in the high tens of thousands.
In the UK part of the police training for carrying a Taser is to be tasered first. So you know how it feels. Which suggests they are safe enough to be used in non-extreme situations - given that they don't make armed officers do the same thing in their training...
I'd be prepared to bet that it's considerably safer than being hit with a big stick as well. What does a policeman have in his sandwiches? Truncheon meat*. ...Runs...
Although I remember a few years ago trying to find actual figures for how dangerous Tasers were. And being disappointed. I couldn't find a single death properly attributed to them in the UK - there were too many reports to check through for the US - where it was also a more controversial subject. But also couldn't find proper figures on safety. I did find some reports from US police forces on how introducing them had reduced injuries to officers - but they didn't cover injuries to suspects. Although I'd expect those to improve as well - as less fighting should mean less injuries to all.
*I wonder if you can still buy luncheon meat? I remember the stuff being truly horrible - like a lot of food back in the 80s. On the other hand, one of our local supermarkets was selling Sandwich Spread during lockdown. I wonder if that had been sitting on a shelf behind all the toilet rolls since the 1970s, and had only reappeared when they ran out. Ghastly stuff. God knows what it was made of - although even He may have his limits in this case.
Cops in this part of the US are supposed to sample the effects of the taser as part of their training, too. I have no idea if this is true in all jurisdictions nation-wide, but it ought to be IMO.
I've tried to track down real stats for taser use, too. I can't find anything that isn't obviously tainted from either the pro or anti camp.
For a while anyways at current reconning it's about 1,553 miles round trip not including detours.
As for stopping at every distillery.. I wish, but we do have a few key ones we want to drop in on (Campbeltown's Longrow being one, Spayside's Longmorn and Inchgoer being some others. Haven't decided on the Highlands/Lowlands yet..).
Thankfully after all this the wife has her driving licence so we can at least share driving duties.
As for renting a car.. Tempted to rent a Volvo 122S that I'd seen (an uncle in law owns a barn find 123GT that I've taken a shine to and the 122S is as close as I've seen for rent), but her that much be obeyed pointed out that would impact the whiskey budget...
I never had an issue with my kid "bothering me" when I was working. They key is in the setup ... Up here in the office, I have two desks. One is for the myriad of Ranch businesses, the other is for my computer consulting business. The wife, kid(s) & dawgs know not to disturb me when I'm at the consulting desk, unless it's an emergency. Compartmentalization and teaching the boundaries to all and sundry is key in any home office.
Household business happens down in the kitchen.
 The cats even cooperate, at least for the most part. Go figure.
True, but you probably started that early on so it was normal for your family (as it us for ours) . Many people had to make that part of the new routine, though, so the whole family was learning how to manage expectations without any time for preparation.
Just add some typical WFH conference call audio soundbites, with confcall classics like:
1. "The results of the user research study have arrived. Based on the findings, I recommend that we...bazup....cease de...ease asset...wonat....considera..... Harry!? Harry, we can't hear you. You're breaking up!"
2. "Jane, unmute yourself! We can see you talking, but we can't hear you."
3. "The client is ready to (DOG BARKING)......Yes, they're ready to (DOG BARKING)...Dammit, who's dog is that!?"
This looks more like "My first contact tracing job". The headset will probably contact the same number of people the real ones do. Not to mention they can use the same snappy branding on the box to teach the little ones to count to three, you know all the hits like - "test, trace, protect", "Hands. Face. Space"
It's even got the Johns Hopkins map of cases in the UK.
I'm totally sold if you press the spacebar and it plays happy birthday three times.
Actually come to think of it are we sure this is really a kids toy? Looks to me more like Dido Harding's offshoring bits of the new "agency" already.
On a serious note, the iphone app looks much better. The "slightly concerned" dog icon if you think you have covid, and the "happy labrador" icon if you don't have symptoms is absolute genius.
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