Another damned excuse to slurp all my data without my consent.
For a year that belongs in a Philip K Dick novella, now is not the time to welcome prophets of the technological future, and yet here comes Gartner, banging on the door with its Emerging Technologies Hype Cycle. According to the gurus of the Cycle, freshly emerged tech must first climb the "Peak of Inflated Expectations" …
I think my Digital Me has turned evil, and is attempting to assume my identity and place in society by having Physical Me eliminated. That would explain the $40K charge on my credit card that I supposedly OK'd to a reputed Argentinian hitman.
(Eh, at least the quality of my El Reg forum posts should improve.)
Surely, this has proved one of the most useful approaches for testing and finding the limits of machine learning by pitting it against itself. Obviously this points towards a singularity — no, not that one — where all computer resources in the world will be being used either to test for forgeries or to create them!
From experience living in a farming community, I can tell you that real BS (produced by male bovines) smells, whereas Gartner's sells (to management without a clue). Companies pay big bucks to Gartner for their "advice". These reports are just advertising for Gartner, the real money is in the consulting contracts they sell to the CIO's and other enterprise management afraid to miss "the next big thing".
The amazing thing is that boardroom suits lap this stuff up, paying huge amounts for Gartner subscriptions.
Gartner starts to push the latest fad from some company that they have some vested interest in (they are paying money for "reviews") and the next thing you know everyone is wetting themselves over some piece of shite that all the techies can see is shite or vapourware but manglement are convinced it will solve all their problems.
And all because the man from Gartner says "yes"!
Gartner are not alone, others that spring to mind, IDC, Forrester, 451 Group.
There appears to be no escape from this sort of lunacy as more of these consultancy groups sell their services to C-Suite idiots.
On the bright side, there is good money to be made picking up the pieces when it all comes crashing down. The fun part is that, as a consultant, your job is to tell management that they have fucked up yet again, and cost their company $megabucks through their own ineptitude. The second (third, fourth, ... ) time around you can even say "I told you so!" if you play your cards right.
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