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Monday is here and sunshine has turned to showers in the UK. Take your mind off the "shorts or umbrella" quandary with an unusual tale of vampires, dating, and recreating The Matrix in Sun Microsystems' Chicago lobby courtesy of The Register's Who, Me? column. The Regomiser is on recess so today's story comes from Matt …

  1. UCAP

    Inappropriate garb

    Ever turned up for a meeting in garb some might consider wildly inappropriate?

    Not me, but when I was a relatively fresh-faced almost-newbie at my first company, I remember coming out of my office heading for the kitchen and seeing someone siting in the reception with long, straggly hair, and wearing what can be best described as the sort of clothing window cleaners tend to use. Turned out that he was actually a post-grad student just about to be awarded his PhD and was here for an interview for his first (consultancy) job. Spoke to the director who interviewed him; apparently it was pretty much the shortest job interview on record (< 30 minutes) since the director took one look at him and decided that there was no way on earth they could take him on in any form of customer-facing role.

    1. Claverhouse Silver badge

      Re: Inappropriate garb

      Of course. An old Dilbert cartoon once pointed out it is vital that the technicians who built your computer were properly dressed.

      1. Blackjack Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        I have noticed however that the best techies dress quite badly.

        If I go to a repair shop and the guy is in a suit I tend to just leave.

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          I am untrusting of suits.

          Most recent exposure was one trying to sell me a really shit new car when I was looking for older big comfy ones. (Think GM EU and big V6 saloons popular with Police vs a horrid little 5 seat people carrier)

          Shoved me in one, said how wonderful.

          "It's full of plastic shit!"

          Started on about HP.

          I actually ran out of the dealer and never been back.

          I hate suits.

    2. Julz Silver badge

      Re: Inappropriate garb

      I always find judging people by how they look and dress such a great way of determining the content of their character.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Was that said with a sarcastic tone?

        It affects whether it gets an up-vote or a down-vote.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Was that said with a sarcastic tone?

          I suspect it's a mild example of Poe's Law in action.

        2. David Nash
          Facepalm

          Re: Was that said with a sarcastic tone?

          Seemed pretty clear to me that it was.

          1. Ordinary Donkey

            Re: Was that said with a sarcastic tone?

            The Martin Luther King paraphrase rather confirms it.

      2. Martin

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        To be fair, he did say it was a customer facing role. And whether or not you like it, how you look is important if you're representing the customer.

        It's no longer (normally) the case that a suit and tie is necessary for a technical customer facing role, but even if you're wearing a polo shirt and chinos, you should still be smartly turned out.

        And to turn up to a job interview looking like a slob is just unprofessional.

        1. Kristian Walsh

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          Yep. As someone with a lifelong aversion to "suit-and-tie" dress codes, I don't really care what a candidate wears to an interview, or what they wear at the office, but there are limits: it has to be intact and, most importantly, it has to be clean.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Inappropriate garb

            You wear a suit to an interview. Otherwise you are underdressed.

            I wouldn't work in a suit though, not even if they paid me.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              You should wear clothing similar to what the employees wear, or a bit better. Damage, holes, stains, etc. are a no-no.

              Corporate-customer-facing position: Likely a suit. At least tie is recommended. Jeans and a T-shirt will likely prevent you from getting hired.

              General-public-customer-facing position: Polo shirt and dress pants. Suit is likely overdressed but may be ok.

              Home improvement store, car mechanic, house-builder, etc.: Clean jeans and t-shirt, preferably no logos. Suit SHOULD prevent you from getting hired.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Inappropriate garb

                > Home improvement store, car mechanic, house-builder, etc

                There are exceptions. But generally if you want a job that is done in an office rather than a warehouse, wear a suit to the interview.

                Anybody that marks you down for wearing a suit to an interview shouldn't be in a position of any power. Anybody who doesn't wear a suit to interviews shouldn't be surprised when they aren't getting jobs.

                1. Outski Bronze badge

                  Re: Inappropriate garb

                  I quite agree. More than anything, it shows respect to the interview panel, that you take them and the process seriously.

                  I have discounted people from the hiring process for not dressing smartly for interview. If they're not treating me and the job with respect, how are they going to treat customers?

                  1. Lars Johansson

                    Re: Inappropriate garb

                    There are ways of doing it though.

                    I strenuously refused to wear a suit during the entire recruitment process for my first job but still landed a position at an investment bank in the City.

                    However, I did wear a button-down shirt, merino jumper and dress pants...

                  2. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

                    Re: Inappropriate garb

                    @Outski: work is not a fashion parade. The only thing that is a fashion parade is a fashion parade.

                    1. jake Silver badge

                      Re: Inappropriate garb

                      "work is not a fashion parade"

                      To be honest, work often is a fashion parade, unfortunately.

                      While individuals can be quite brilliant, people as a set are idiots.

            2. Stork Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              That depends on where you go to the job interview.

              Having worked in the UK, I came in blazer, shirt and tie to interviews for engineer positions in Denmark and was the only one with tie - clearly overdressed, and I am sure it cost points.

              Standard there (if you are technical, not sales) was jeans and shirt (or polo), all in decent condition. Probably even ironed.

              1. EagleZ28

                Re: Inappropriate garb

                "Standard there [Denmark] (if you are technical, not sales) was jeans and shirt (or polo), all in decent condition. Probably even ironed."

                WOW... I knew I liked Danishes, oops, I mean Danish, for a reason!

                Ironed jeans? Sounds like home!

                How about a cowboy hat and boots?

              2. Lars Johansson

                Re: Inappropriate garb

                I had the same experience in Sweden, after moving back from the UK, having worked at the aforementioned investment bank long enough to surrender to the suit-and-tie dress code.

                I am originally from Sweden, so I should have known...

            3. jake Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              No, YOU wear a suit to interviews.

            4. Getmo
              Coat

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              I'm a big believer in "dress for the job/for the work", not necessarily the interview. So I dress how I would expect to show up for the work everyday. If it's a non-customer-facing desk job, I'll probably be wearing polos or a nice shirt with either slacks or nice jeans everyday; so I wear that to the interview. If it was a painter's job, I'd wear painter's clothes. If I was interviewing at a law firm and expected to wear a suit everyday, only then would I wear a suit to the interview. You get exactly what it says on the tin.

              It just seems so silly to say "if you're not in a full suit for the interview you're underdressed" and "I'll never work a job where I have to wear a suit everyday" in the same breath. Seems flatly dishonest, almost an acknowledgment that your interview was just a pony show to get you in the door, not a true reflection of what kind of worker you'll be now that you're hired.

              (Plus, I have been dinged before for being overdressed even for an IT Director position, but I was technically already hired on that first day.)

              1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                Re: Inappropriate garb

                "almost an acknowledgment that your interview was just a pony show to get you in the door"

                It is. Just like the CV is written to get past the gatekeepers in HR.

              2. TheMeerkat Bronze badge

                Re: Inappropriate garb

                Wearing a suit to an interview you are signalling that you are not a complete dickhead who is going to be difficult.

                Both sides during the interview know this is not how you are going to come every day.

                1. Getmo

                  Re: Inappropriate garb

                  Perhaps you're right, if it was purely an interview meeting. Thinking back I just realized that for my past 3 positions, I was already hired before the first face-to-face meeting or even stepping into the building.

                  Two of the those three advised me on dress code for my first day. Only one of those left it up to me (for IT Director position), so I wore the full suit & shoes, and got dinged for it. After first walking in the door, and meeting the boss for 15 mins in his office, he commented twice on how "well dressed" I was, and at the end said, "you know, you won't have to dress like that while working here."

                  Surely these traditional views on wearing the suit the for the interview / first day are still widely practiced, but it's definitely no longer gospel. It's best to play it by ear for the company you're with.

            5. swm Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              When I interviewed for Xerox at Cornell all of the interviewees were very dressed up (not the normal college student attire). I wore a coat and tie and looked like a PHB suit.

              There was one candidate whose resume was a mish mash of optimization/latices/inter programming so I thought I would cut to the chase. My first real interview question was: do you mean that you can solve an NP-complete problem in polynomial time?

              His face lit up and he said, "Oh, you understand this stuff." Turns out his resume was written for people who didn't understand much. We had a very good interview.

            6. Mr Sceptical
              Windows

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              Of the few times I've done interviews I wore suits, but the last was in 2006. Of the recent people we've interviewed none were wearing suits (it was mid-lockdown) - they had shirts only, no ties on the men. Nor was I expecting a suit - even in person.

              I might wear a suit to a really serious tender meeting, but standards have changed and ties are an endangered species overall. Virtually all meetings in our sector top out at smart causal (shirt and trousers), shoes or smart trainers, even for those in the City with finance types.

              And now we're all on video calls, anything more than a T-shirt is practically black tie.

              1. Martin-73 Silver badge

                Re: Inappropriate garb

                I actually LIKE ties, but oddly, for informal wear. I have many many many ties. Wearing them with a polo shirt is optional but fun.

                Normal work attire for me is holster pocket work trousers (with the holster pockets full of things that could technically get me arrested if the cop was having a bad day) and a polo shirt, so I may not be in the same category as many here

            7. Martin-73 Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              I turn up to an interview as an electrician wearing a bloody suit, i'm laughed out of the office. They want people in CLEAN work clothes.

              Although it could be argued that 'suit' is now short for 'business suit'. I am not 'a businessman' (thank god). So I do not wear one. Ever.

        2. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          At my best job interviews (meaning: I got the jobs and yes, plural) I was wearing a suit and a tie. I also had long hair and a beard.

          1. Tim99 Silver badge

            Re: Inappropriate garb

            A very long time ago, I went for an interview with the Civil Service. I had a straggly beard, hair down to my shoulders, tended to wear Slopp shirts or pullovers, but had a decent blazer. Shaved of the beard, cut the hair so it went just below my ears, and put on the blazer with a tie. The panel was led by a middle aged man with a short frock coat and broad striped trousers, who ushered me in to meet the rest of the interviewers - They were scientists who had straggly beards, hair down to their shoulders, and were wearing pullovers... I got the job, so perhaps my attire and appearance met the average of the panel?

          2. Angry IT Monkey

            Re: Inappropriate garb

            For the last two IT interviews I asked what the dress code was beforehand. Both said "smart casual" so that's what I wore and got both jobs.

            If they had said a suit I'd have worn one, though I've not seen one "in the wild" in IT for years.

            1. Martin-73 Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              Asking ahead of time probably got you a few plus points before the interview even started.

        3. logicalextreme Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          Shortly after I accepted an in-interview job offer one of the interviewers then apologised for how I was dressed "on my behalf" to the HR person as I'd come to it on my lunch break and said that I'd of course be wearing business dress except for Casual Fridays. I kindly informed them that, in fact, hells no that would not be the case as I was now rejecting the job.

          I read infinitely more into the attitude of people who read into how people dress than I read into how people dress — if a company considers that important, I've usually found it's a good indicator that their priorities are shot and they're going to be one of those that gives more of a shit about using the correct colours on reports than e.g. the security of its customers. Having a "Casual Friday" doubles the penalty I award, because it's an immediate indicator of inconsistency (if it's okay on Friday why not every day?) and possibly that the company regards employees as dependents that can have a special treat every so often if they're good (see also WFH for both of these).

          I agree that sometimes if you have a customer-facing role you may need to compromise, because "I don't think this way so your customers shouldn't too" isn't exactly an attitude you can give to management when said management's bonus depends on that customer staying on, but for pretty much any other situation or relationship the entire concept can get fucked. It's a bums-in-seats mentality that has mercifully waned significantly over the past few years.

          From a purely practical perspective, I don't drive and I run extremely hot most of the time. While I used to wear a suit every day just because I wanted to (and got told I was showing people up in some workplaces), I switched to t-shirts for comfort. Wearing a suit outside of an air-conditioned environment can be extremely unpleasant and requiring that your employees be uncomfortable is a bit of a shitty thing to do.

          1. swm Silver badge

            Re: Inappropriate garb

            The local school system will be conducting classes remotely. There is a dress code of no pajamas for the students.

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              One potential answer:

              I can't wear PJs? OK, I'll just take them off, then ...

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          It depends. If you turn up in a jeans and a teeshirt when you're interviewing to work in a fashion store then that's a good way for them to judge your sense of style, but if you wear a designer-label suit and bespoke leather shoes when you're demonstrating equipment to extricate AFVs from muddy holes then you might not be the brightest spark in the muzzle flash.

          1. Martin-73 Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Inappropriate garb

            *snarf*s the 'brightest spark in the muzzle flash' quote. Have a beer as compensation

      3. EagleZ28

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        I'll never again work a job that requires me to wear a noose... oops... a tie.

        If they expect me to wear slacks, they'll have to pay for it.

        I'm strictly a jeans and nice shirt type of guy, except on formal occasions.

        1. jelabarre59 Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          Back in the mid 80's to late 90's I had accumulated a large collection (in the hundreds) of rather colorful ties from the late 60's through 70's. With so many of them, I could rotate through the collection and wear a different tie to work every day.

          At my first IT job in the late 80's, the sales manager says to me one day "you don't *have* to wear a tie to work". I mentioned it to my prior boss, and he said "it isn't that you don't have to wear a tie, you just don't have to wear *THOSE* ties".

          Unfortunately, some 13 years back I culled the collection down, and then lost the rest in a house fire a year later. And when I was at IBM Pok, in the wintertime a sweater was more likely the necessary attire (hey, AC is cheaper to run in the winter...)

    3. PerlyKing Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Inappropriate garb

      I wasn't actually in this meeting, but I heard it from a reliable source.

      It was a meeting with a vendor, so smart turnout was expected. Someone who obviously didn't know all of the attendees showed up a bit late and started to berate a somewhat casually dressed individual about their appearance, until it was pointed out that this was the vendor!

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        Oops!

    4. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
      Gimp

      Re: Inappropriate garb

      On the flipside, I turned up to my current job in my best suit and dressed smartly for the first day after getting the job.

      My manager took one look at me on that day and said he never wanted to see me wearing it ever again. So jeans and tee-shirt have been the norm ever since...

      Well apart from the promotion interview. Old broken ribs causing my lungs to be in agony, cue heavy duty painkillers and a very tight waistcoat so I could at least speak without wincing.

      1. logicalextreme Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        I appreciate the idea and the first contract interview I ever did (and got, at RR I think) I was jovially told I was showing the staff up by wearing a suit; but really I think that genuinely requiring a "casual" look is just as bad as requiring business dress. There are few better ways to reinforce prejudice than mandatorily playing into stereotypes.

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        Round about 1986, right after lunch on a Monday, HR deposited a freshly-scrubbed college graduate into my lap. It came complete with suit and tie, and the cleanest, shiniest shoes I've ever seen. Immaculately turned out. Not a hair out of place, and perfect fingernails. Looked like an advert for the suit manufacturer. The body was expected, the "shiny" wasn't. I was hoping for someone with experience.

        However, beggars can't be choosers, so I set him to work pulling out Token Ring and replacing it with Ethernet in the stockroom and shipping/receiving. Both cables and cards. Under floors, over ceilings, wherever necessary. (Many of y'all have been there, you know the drill ...).

        He came in with the suit bright and early the next day, still an advert, but the shoes were a trifle worse for the wear. As were the fingernails. That afternoon he managed to get his tie caught in a power supply fan ...

        Day three, he was in Levis, a T-shirt and sneakers like the rest of us. We didn't mention the change of costume, but he mentioned it during his first review ... He thought I had been hazing him with the cabling work. Never did convince him that no, really, that was the next thing on our agenda ... I also never told him he'd have been transferred (or let go, if HR couldn't find a place to shunt him to) if he didn't wise up in a hurry. My group was there to get things done, not to sit around and look pretty.

    5. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Inappropriate garb

      Not me, but a former coworker.

      Business trip from Boston to Blighty for a "team building" week with the other half of our organization.

      We had an embedded software developer who had a "radical mullet" hairdo...shoulder length in the back and buzz cut in the front. Rather short of stature, but a genuinely nice guy and a competent programmer, once you got past his taste in hairstyles and clothes (more on that later)

      So we all show up at the airport to board our flight, and my coworker comes dressed "full warlock". Silver rings on all his fingers, black outfit, and a long black cape with a silver clasp holding it closed. This, I thought, will be interesting at Immigration in the UK. Well, he breezed right through.

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        They just figured he was returning to Hogwarts using Muggle travel!

      2. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        With all that metal on his fingers, I'd expect security to be more interesting.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        This, I thought, will be interesting at Immigration in the UK.

        In the 80s I used to work with a guy who looked like the stereotypical Irishman, red hair, freckles, the lot. On flights from Belfast to Heathrow we soon learned not to seem to be with him as we arrived at security. He was a nice guy, he'd even warn the people who hadn't travelled with him before that they should hang back if they didn't want to be stopped for more detailed questioning.

        1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          That sounds like a Bruneian friend of ours. Just about every boarder guard at airports would pull him up over his passport (usually then proceeding to get every other boarder guard to ogle his passport as well).

          Sometimes this would be a 10 minute wait... Sometimes it would be hours.

          There's a reason he preferred to travel private jet if the opportunity ever arrose (he's one of their leading doctors so gets that as a perk now).

          All apart from our local city airport... They'd seen him enough to not even raise an eyebrow usually (unless it was a new guard and even then I'm sure they had some system flag to tell them to not hassle him much).

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Inappropriate garb

            "boarder guard at airports"

            Still trying to work out of that's a deliberate pun or a genuine spelling mistake.

            1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb

              Yes...

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          I flew to Dublin once for work. As I had tools and cables, I knew I would be stopped so arrived early.

          Was stopped as expected, then was stopped twice more, so called randomly.....

          1. TrumpSlurp the Troll Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Inappropriate garb - Dublin

            At one time I used to commute from London to Dublin every month or so to visit a supplier.

            This was the time before gas canisters in ring pull cans could generate a creamy head on Guiness. The solution at that time was to have a small plastic syringe to suck up some beer and then squirt it back. Not generally available in the UK. Anyway.

            Being pre EU there were duty free limits, which included IIRC 50 litres of beer. So there I was with my baggage stuffed with all the novelty beer I could reasonably carry. Not 50 litres, mind.

            So I would approach customs with a trolley full of bags which rattled and clinked and I would see the customs officers almost roll their eyes before stopping me to ask "Are you aware of the duty free limits?" "50 litres for beer" was my reply. Always got an extra check over in case this was a distraction ploy.

            Still ---->

            Black, of course.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          I have dark brown hair, brown eyes, and a brown (ok, getting gray) beard. Post 9/11 I started getting selected for a lot of "random" screening at airports in the US.

          1. A K Stiles Silver badge

            Re: Inappropriate garb

            Flying in to Brisbane QLD, Australia in 2015(ish) for a family wedding with my wife and mother, all wearing comfy clothes for flying. We were approaching the point where you had to decide which queue to join at security depending on passports, restricted items etc. and a wandering member of security staff intercepts us, gathers our passports and declaration cards for a quick glance then directs us to the full 'declare your life story' lane.

            We wandered through the twisty barrier path and got to the security desk, handed over our documents and the guy there said "Why are you in this queue?" we waved towards the wandering security person and made vaguely confused noises, at which point the desk guy rolls his eyes and waves us through, all actually faster than if we'd taken the correct route for our documents!

      4. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb

        Well, he breezed right through.

        ...thanks to the Non-Detection spell he cast moments earlier.

        1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb

          ...thanks to the Non-Detection spell he cast moments earlier.

          More likely he deployed a SEP-field.

    6. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Inappropriate garb

      That reminds me of this.

      https://flakypastry.runningwithpencils.com/comic.php?strip_id=6

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      This was a customer, not an interview...

      If you are trying to sell me services, judge not the pointiness of my boots, lest you earn the Ire of my wallet. Applies to cowboy coders as well as gothic dba's.

      Also, considering the refuge that scene has been for the alternative lifestyle communities, maybe be respectful about security hazing your customers for their fashion sense.

      Not everybody shows who they are with a pride flag, and you might to find out they work for Tim Cook.

      1. Alex Wilson

        Re: This was a customer, not an interview...

        I'm an old goth... believe me...we are EVERYWHERE.

        1. John PM Chappell

          Re: This was a customer, not an interview...

          Aye

  2. KittenHuffer Silver badge

    For those that are not aware of who Gimlet is .....

    Owner of Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen in Cable Street. Not much is known about this dwarf, but his particularly piercing stare is renowned. During Feet of Clay he is accused of using poisoned meat including beef and chicken. This turned out to be a problem with the rats bought from Wee Mad Arthur.

    During Thud! it seems he is a respected character among the city dwarfs and has recently opened a new restaurant, Yo Rat! on Attic Bee Street.

    1. Stumpy Silver badge

      Re: For those that are not aware of who Gimlet is .....

      Sir Pterry would be proud of you.

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

        Re: For those that are not aware of who Gimlet is .....

        A great man, sorely missed.

    2. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

      Re: For those that are not aware of who Gimlet is .....

      Ahem.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Lorrington_%22Gimlet%22_King

    3. Alister Silver badge

      Re: For those that are not aware of who Gimlet is .....

      Very good, but for those who don't know, the phrase "a gimlet stare" references a small hand tool similar to a bradawl used for making holes in wood, and is an alternative to the phrase "a piercing stare".

      Both Gimlet King and Gimlet the dwarf were called that because of their steely gaze. (And in Gimlet the dwarf's case, because it sounded like Tolkien's Gimli, son of Gloin).

      1. Stevie Silver badge

        Re: For those that are not aware of who Gimlet is .....

        Nonsense! The "Gimlet stare" is descriptive of the look of someone who has spent their entire lunch hour consuming gimlets. i.e. Unfocused and lacking in comprehension.

        I had a boss who would give me the "Gimlet Stare" after having some obscure aspect of database management explained to him.

        1. Martin-73 Silver badge

          Re: For those that are not aware of who Gimlet is .....

          Better than scorpion stare.... (must re-read)

      2. Martin-73 Silver badge

        Re: For those that are not aware of who Gimlet is .....

        I indeed own a gimlet.

        Ok it's a (UK) terminal screwdriver that got sharp to uselessness. Then i found a new use

        Helps when fixing random crap to other random crap :)

  3. chivo243 Silver badge
    Go

    Vampires and Sun?

    Nice one!

  4. jake Silver badge

    Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

    I've done the "visit banker after cleaning the hog pen, before showering" thing. I completely lost track of the time[0], until SWMBO reminded me. Fortunately she (the banker) grew up in a barn and can look past my peculiarities. I got the loan.

    The last 9-5 I interviewed for (in 1989), I was wearing my racing leathers. All black, no logos. When the interviewer queried my choice of "uniform", I pointed out that he had asked me to drive up from Palo Alto to South San Francisco by 10AM ... and had called at 9AM. I knew I could make it on the bike, but there was no way I was driving the Bayshore without armo(u)r ... I got the job.

    The 9-5 prior to that, I wore the same outfit, for similar reasons. When queried, I responded along the lines of "are you hiring an engineer or a fashion plate?" ... They made me an offer. I counter offered. They hired me at my price point.

    [0] Time flies when you're having ... uh ... fun?

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

      Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

      I have on many occasions arrived in full leathers to discover the excrement has impacted the rotary air impellor, only to spend the rest of the day with no time to change into 'work attire'. Full leathers are actually a help when in the muckier parts of a cable run.

      I would also arrive at remote sites leathered up, and I sure as hell wasn't gonna take a change of clothes for a half hour visit.

    2. Notrodney

      Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

      My last job interview was in my bike leathers (car broke down and the interviewer said not to bother changing in to my suit). I got the job as they considered anyone mad enough to wear bike leathers to an interview was mad enough to work for them.

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        they considered anyone mad enough to wear bike leathers to an interview was mad enough to work for them.

        That should have been a warning to you ;)

    3. Wyrdness

      Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

      I've been to a couple of job interviews in full bike leathers. The first time, I explained that I commute to work by bike and the only way that I could get from my current workplace in Central London to the prospective employer (Basingstoke) was by bike. I got the job.

      The next time I did that, was with a former employer where the manager was keen to re-hire me. Unfortunately an HR-droid decided to sit in the interview (very rare in this company) and didn't like the leathers, so she vetoed him employing me. He hired me shortly after, with no HR involvement.

      1. KBeee Bronze badge
        Happy

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        Not a full leather job interview tale, but my brother used to be a motorcycle courier, so full leathers and helmet. About 50% of the people he delivered to would say "Where did you park you space ship?"

        One day he delivered a package to Leonard Rossiter who nonchalantly said "Come on the bus?"

        1. CAPS LOCK Silver badge

          "Come on the bus?" anecdote of the week...

          ... In my head I heard that in Reggie Perrin's voice. Gone, but not forgotten...

          1. Martin-73 Silver badge

            Re: "Come on the bus?" anecdote of the week...

            Indeed. Sigh... a binge watch is in order

      2. EagleZ28

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        I guess you weren't the droid it was looking for, OB1.

      3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Gimp

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        "I've been to a couple of job interviews in full bike leathers. "

        Not me. But I once went to an interview where the panel were all in leathers. I decided I must have mis-understood the job description and quickly left!!

        1. jelabarre59 Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

          Ah, did you notice the ball-gags in the cabinet then?

      4. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        " so she vetoed him employing me. He hired me shortly after,"

        One hopes he vetoed continued employment of the HR suit?

    4. Manolo
      Mushroom

      Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

      Hog pen. Reminds me of a story my mother told me. She was working as an assistant at a small doctors office in a rural village. Got a call on a Friday, almost closing time from a mother, that her son had to see the doctor. My mother replied that he had to come immediately, as they were about to close. No, he HAS to shower first, was the reply. No, he has to come immediately my mother replied. So the guy comes in, in his coveralls, straight out of the stable. And they breed pigs on an industrial scale around there. The doctors asked my mother to never do that again, they had to air out the office over the entire weekend.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        As I tried to explain to a co-worker recently, any odd request/requirement should be questioned with a simple "Why?" Sometimes the person being asked really doesn't have a good reason, in which case overrule them (No, don't shower first), but sometimes it's a REALLY good reason!

        1. logicalextreme Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

          Couldn't agree more. Not asking why is functionally equivalent to "but that's how we've always done it" and I've had to coax more than a few people into doing it to their "superiors" wherever possible rather than be walked all over and made to do things that aren't for the greater good.

          And actually listening to the answer, as you say, is equally important — I'm one of the most ornery people I know, but I'll always follow up my kneejerk thought of "well I don't see why I should do that" with actually finding out if there's a good reason by questioning the appropriate people and having constructive discussions about it.

        2. Manolo

          Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

          Well, to be fair to my mother (even though she is no longer with us, would have been her birthday today), it were the doctors that issued the order, she merely relayed it.

          1. Martin-73 Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

            Drink to her memory :)

            1. Manolo

              Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

              Thanks mate, I did.

    5. RockBurner

      Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

      I've done several interviews having turned up on the bike.

      Normally I manage to arrive with enough time to slip into a cubicle and change, but once the bike actually broke down on the way (throttle cable snapped in the fast lane of the M40).

      I had to explain this to the interviewer (the company boss) when he commented on the filthy state of my hands. I had arrived bang on time and didn't even have time to wash them. Silver lining was that the tale of diving through traffic with no power, stripping off the tank on the hard-shoulder and re-cabling the bike with the return cable got me the job. He seemed impressed with the ability to react quickly and work under pressure.

      Funnily enough - those same 'alpha-male' (his words, not mine) abilities got me 'let go' about a year later.

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        My father told me the story of his arrival at his first Army posting. The chain had jumped on his BSA Commander on the way, so he arrived covered in grease nearly to his elbows. He said the Sargeant took one look at him and assigned him to 'D' block ..... which turned out to be where they housed all of the trouble-makers!

        And I have also have to do the cable swap routine on the side of the road before. Happened several times with my GS1000. Only once did I loosen off the cable to find that the return cable had already broken. That time I cranked the tickover up to 3k, and then made it the few miles remaining without a throttle at all!

        1. logicalextreme Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

          These both sound terrifying. I never had a throttle problem or even looked at the cable much. Do you have a link to sources about this switching trick so I can learn about the mechanics of it?

          1. quxinot Silver badge

            Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

            To swap cables (assuming you have a push/pull throttle, not just a single cable type), you just swap the ends at the carb/TB end. That gives you a working, albeit backwards, throttle (roll forwards for more vroom). If you've got a few extra minutes, pop the switch assembly apart (or the throttle assembly, depending on what you're riding--basically, the part that holds the large portion of the throttle tube) and swap there as well. Now you have a normal throttle, but without a return cable.

            If you have real foresight, you can just tie a spare cable next to the current one. That way the routing is already done and it's very quick to recover from a broken cable. It's more commonly done on the clutch side for those unlucky enough to not have a hydraulic clutch, but on long trips into the unknown where parts scarcity may become an issue, it's not a bad idea at all.

            Some bikes (FJ11,1200's for example) actually have four throttle cables: there's a connector in the middle of both the pull and push sides. This can make getting replacements a hassle, but means you can swap the ends at the connection rather than at both ends. And with luck, you broke the handlebar end, as the airbox on those things is a bastard to get around to access the carb end.

            1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

              As a long distance biker, I've always carried a spare clutch cable and a set of Thottle Cables (on the old bikes) These were as suggested already laid and ready to go. I had a cluch cable go in the middle of Turkey (1976). Two days later, in Istanbul, I managed to get the old cable repaired (some heavy duty soldering). Cost me under £1.

              I've been to an interview less than 24 hours after an accident where I dislocated my shoulder and cracked a couple of ribs. I removed the sling before going into the interview. I got the job and my manager had a good laugh when I told him about the accident after I started working for him.

            2. logicalextreme Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

              Aha, wondered if it was related to push/pull cables after searching a bit. So even in the first scenario the throttle still closes due to a spring, if I'm reading correctly? By the look of it I didn't have a push/pull on my bike, and I'm surprised no part of it failed because a staggering amount of the rest of the bike did over the course of riding it! It was probably only gonna be a matter of time though…

              1. quxinot Silver badge

                Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

                Yes, there should be a return spring. The push/pull setup is in case of binding or a broken spring, as a safety feature. You can also carry screw-together repair kits to replace a broken cable end, but this has a primary function of ensuring that the cable breaks at some other point instead.

                Personally, the killswitch is right there, so I've never been too concerned getting stuck with the gas on inappropriately.

            3. Alan Brown Silver badge

              Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

              "And with luck, you broke the handlebar end"

              The engineer in me tends to analyse why the cables keep snapping and fix THAT instead

              Speedo cable on one bike kept breaking - the oem design was such that it pulled the assembly through too tight a radius when the suspension was at full travel - After 3 cables in the first 10,000 miles a custom-made one 50mm longer lasted the 20 more years I held onto the bike.

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        Once in the rain I stopped and helped a lady with a flat tire. After waving her on her way, I put my jack & lug wrench away, and carried on to my destination somewhat dirtier & soggier than I wanted to be. When I arrived I apologized for my appearance, told the gal at the front desk that I was there to talk to the Boss about bidding on a network upgrade. The secretary spoke into the phone, and the Boss came out to meet me. He allowed as to how most folks bidding on lucrative contracts at least took a little care with their grooming, and told me to fuck off. In those words. As I was leaving, his wife walked out of the office. It was the lady I had helped. Later that afternoon, I got an apologetic call from the guy, offering me the job. I told him to fuck off and hung up the phone.

      3. jake Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        Yes, rather sadly that makes you an 'alpha-male' in the eyes of idiots, which is of course a firing offense these days ... but I wonder what that makes my Wife?

        Nearly two decades ago she found a Yamaha DT-1 for me to restore for her ... I had no idea, but she had wanted one in the early '70's, when her brothers were racing Hodakas and Bultacos. Hers showed up at a garage sale here in Sonoma ... A (nearly) complete roller with non-seized motor & trans, and not one but two parts bikes, all of which had been stored out of the weather since the late 1980s.

        I say above that I was going to restore it for her (in her mind), but I managed to convince her to do most of the work herself. Was fun, if occasionally frustrating for both of us ... but today she can troubleshoot fuel or wiring problems, replace the clutch or rebuild the carb, do the brakes or repair a puncture, etc. with no help.

        1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

          Are you sure your name is Jake? That tale sounds like your name is Robert M. Pirsig.

    6. ICPurvis47 Bronze badge
      Angel

      Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

      When a Junior Development Engineer, I used to have to attend interminal meetings to discuss "Progress". One of the Management team was a good looking young lady with a penchant for leather skirts and fishnet tights. We referred to her as "Miss Whiplash", but obviously not to her face, until one day she somehow found out. Must admit, she took it well, and every meeting after that she made a point of dressing as intimidatingly as possible, and once even carried a riding crop until it was pointed out that this could be construed as an offensive weapon, and would she please tone it down a bit.

      1. J. Cook Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        Oh my!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        Many years ago, I worked on a now-defunct SF convention, and this particular year they actually had a staff position of "Committee Dominatrix". If anyone really screwed up on the convention, she was there to supply the punishment the offender was obviously in need of. The problem was brought up that some might screw up on purpose though...

        1. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

          " The problem was brought up that some might screw up on purpose though..."

          in which case the punishment is to be put in a corner and left alone.

        2. earl grey Silver badge
          Pirate

          Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

          Pah, who cares about dominatrix.

          Fear the Moderatrix!

    7. chivo243 Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

      I remember when my current boss\manager\babysitter was hired. He tried to lay down a policy: No denim. That one flew about as far as the trash bin... No Effin way I'm pulling cables in my suit! Especially if I have to pay for the dry cleaning and mending!

      1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        On one job we were instructed to wear the company sweatshirt at all times. I pointed out that they'd only supplied us with one each, and that we'd be spending most of our time crawling under desks, so we'd be stinking to high heaven by Tuesday morning.

        Our line manager told us to ignore the boss and come in whatever was suitable for the job.

      2. J. Cook Silver badge

        Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

        I'd do it under the provisio that I get a clothing stipend as that will destroy the nice clothes rather quickly.

        My current employer has a 'no jeans' rule as well, but it's at management's discretion, and several of our departments and teams are exempt (like the telecomms team). Fortunately, it's business casual, so we can largely get away with docker style pants, which are more rugged (and cheaper) than suit pants. (although things like cargo pants don't fly for some stupid reason...)

        1. cmdrwhitewolf

          Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

          Back around 2008/9 I was working at a IT services company, where I regularly wore an oxford style shirt & dark jeans as I had to almost daily get on my hands & knees to run cabling through crawlspaces, under desks and what have you at client offices.

          One day, along comes a company higher up, who insists I need to be wearing better than than that. I tell him I couldn't afford that as I do cabling and would be ruining them fast. The guy in response, insists that his wife who is a research scientist, could afford it - so I should be able. Trying to cover my disbelief in his ridiculous comparison in our pay scales, I told him, "I'm sorry, but I can't afford it" and carried on with wearing my usual oxford style shirt & dark jeans.

          Several months later, He circulates a memo, suggesting everyone in the IT dept should be wearing suits or business attire so that we are presenting our 'best image' to customers. As per usual, a few individuals in the dept pay attention to it, but many of rest comment rather negatively or even loudly protest the impracticality of it and then a couple of the upper IT Staff even tell said memo authoer why this wouldn't fly in corporate speak (because they didn't want to be handing out clothing stipends or raises and such to the ranks), and so the rest of the dept continued wearing the usual 'more casual' outfits and things proceeded normally once again.

          Welp, less than a year later, this *same guy* gets a job elevation and I get called in to his office just before christmas and he sacks me (and as I quickly gathered several others in the IT Dept whom I note didn't follow his earlier memo suggestion) as part of the whole new corporate downsizing strategy and claim that the company was having 'financial difficulties' even though several of the top execs & salespeople got some rather substantially increased Christmas bonuses that very week!

          1. Martin-73 Silver badge

            Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

            better out than in, of that organization. timing sucks

    8. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: Inappropriate garb? Me? Probably daily ...

      Before the lockdown had me in permanent no-pants mode I would commute and work in jeans, nice sneakers and a very colorful Hawaiian shirt (from my extensive collection of same).

      Management People would comment. I would point out I got the idea from my African-American colleagues who work in colorful dashikis. End of comments.

      When Important Meetings are called I grab my suit, a dress shirt and my dress shoes from my go-bag. I get comments. After the meeting I change back and get gobsmacked reactions from the commentors.

      The concept of having a change of clothes seems too radical for these high-tech colleagues to grasp.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tangentially related, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, but in a past life I've had to do a datacentre callout in leather trousers and a fishnet top after something Important broke while I was out at a goth night...

    (The New Rocks stayed in the boot; I'd thankfully got spare footwear as I couldn't fit in the car to drive with them on...)

    1. Wyrdness

      I once worked at a very old, well-known, traditional corporate company where absolutely everyone wore suits. Except for this one techie who always had goth makeup, fishnets, New Rocks etc. I always assumed that he was so utterly brilliant at his job that they couldn't do anything about his appearance.

      1. My-Handle Silver badge

        Reynholm Industries, I assume?

    2. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Gimp

      Thanks For The Mental Image\Flashback

      As per title - SFW (Unless a prudish left pondian). https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1GS0K

      Icon - With all the leather attire it seems apt!

      1. jelabarre59 Silver badge

        Re: Thanks For The Mental Image\Flashback

        Never did understand the logic of the mesh shirts there (at least the purple wigs met the "rule of cool"). But Sylvia Anderson was going for a weirdly-futuristic look.

        1. Martin-73 Silver badge

          Re: Thanks For The Mental Image\Flashback

          I am guessing the single downvote came from a prudish septic.

          yes i said it

      2. ricardian

        Re: Thanks For The Mental Image\Flashback

        Those string vests were issued by the RAF when on exercise in Germany during the winter months

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Thanks For The Mental Image\Flashback

          So did the RAF allow stringvestites in the ranks, or was it an Officers only thing? Inquiring minds & all that.

    3. J. Cook Silver badge

      I had to do a call out one night in the middle of a party I was hosting; I was wearing flip-flop shoes, shorts, and a T-shirt into the datacenter. I also had a friend'consultant' with who wanted to see the place. he was dressed the same.

  6. trevorde

    Appearances can be deceptive

    Arrived at a job interview with really long hair and a huge, bushranger beard (it was Australia, after all). I hadn't cut my hair or shaved for 14 months, so you can imagine what I looked like. It was a highly technical, R&D, programming role, so it sort of fitted the 'eccentric mad man' vibe. I must've impressed them as they offered me the job!

    About a year into the position, I shaved my beard off and had a really short hair cut over a long weekend. Arrived at work wearing a suit, tie and different sunglasses and *nobody* recognised me! Missed opportunity really as I should've robbed a bank.

    1. jake Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Appearances can be deceptive

      Many moons ago, I bid on a contract at a un*x shop. I won the contract without a face-to-face interview. When I walked in on the first morning, the guy in charge of the data center looked startled & exclaimed "Where's your beard‽‽‽" ... Despite over forty years of un*x experience, I do not now and never have had a beard. Still makes me chuckle.

      On the other hand, when I left HP my hair was around 4.5 feet long ... On my way out the door, I donated it to the Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, to create wigs for cancer kids. I'm called "Baldy" to this day by folks who knew me in that era :-)

    2. ICPurvis47 Bronze badge
      Alert

      Re: Appearances can be deceptive

      When I was at Polytechnic, one of my fellow students was a very active, loud, and bearded individual. He could be heard all over the campus, and everyone knew when he was around. Come Graduation, and I could hear him in the hall, but couldn't see him. Followed the sound to its source, and found him but didn't recognise him. He had shaved his beard off and had a haircut, and what was underneath was an amazing revelation, the voice was the same, but the ratty face, protruberant nose, and undershot chin were completely out of character.

  7. AdamT

    Not actually an interview but....

    I once had a driving lesson whilst wearing a wetsuit.

    1. Manolo
      Thumb Up

      Re: Not actually an interview but....

      Still beter than scuba instruction in dress suit and tie.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not actually an interview but....

        I once toyed with the idea of wearing a business suit under my dry-suit for a brief evening dive with the local club - just for the looks it would get on the beach after the dive, pulling off a dive suit to be dressed for the office. I chickened out :(

        1. Manolo

          Re: Not actually an interview but....

          Like in that Schwarzenegger film, where he wears a tuxedo under a dry suit. Pretty cool.

          1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

            Re: Not actually an interview but....

            True lies, but James Bond did it before.

        2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: Not actually an interview but....

          Bond, James Bond.

          Casino Royale, I believe.

          1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

            Re: Not actually an interview but....

            Intro of Goldfinger (1964).

        3. NXM

          Re: Not actually an interview but....

          Wasn't that the Milk Tray man?

        4. Olivier2553 Silver badge

          Re: Not actually an interview but....

          It was not diving, but we would sometime have a river swim, wet suit, fins, mask and a tire in guise of a buoy.

          Early January, some place near Paris, I think it was Moret sur Loing (a place that was inspiration to some impresionnist painters). We were done with the swimming, stationed on the bank of the road, just at the entrance of the bridge. Divers are not shy women would usually wear only to bottom part of a bikini under their wet suit. Imagine the surprise of the drivers by. A few accidents were barely avoided that morning.

          1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

            Re: Not actually an interview but....

            usually wear only to bottom part of a bikini

            Totally unrelated, but I gather there's a new fashion trend in Italy this summer: the "Trikini" - matching top, bottom and face mask.

            1. Olivier2553 Silver badge

              Re: Not actually an interview but....

              Also unrelated, but I find it cute when I see young couple, like teenagers, wearing a mask with the same design (here in Thailand, we have been wearing masks for almost 6 months, so we have been through a lot of masks fashion already).

    2. Robert Grant Silver badge

      Re: Not actually an interview but....

      Driving test would've been even better!

    3. jake Silver badge

      Re: Not actually an interview but....

      Golf in a wetsuit must be a bit of a handicap.

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Not actually an interview but....

        Use itching powder rather than talc when putting the suit on and I'm sure you'd make scratch!

        ------> Cos I'd love to itch her scratch!!!

      2. Precordial thump

        Re: Not actually an interview but....

        Water hazards are less of a problem, though

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not actually an interview but....

        Reminds me of a tale. A male relative of mine was a golfer, as well as a bit of a nut. There was a big water hazard on his usual course, and he surmised correctly that it was probably full of golf balls. So he borrowed some scuba gear, snuck onto the course at night, and collected HUGE numbers of golf balls. Some time later, he was playing golf with a friend, and one of them hit the ball into the water hazard. "Don't try to get it," the friend said, "that's full of water moccasins."

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not actually an interview but....

      "I once had a driving lesson whilst wearing a wetsuit"

      Hayfever? Hangover? Forgotten your glasses?

      How many times do we have to remind you... READ THE INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY

    5. Cynic_999 Silver badge

      Re: Not actually an interview but....

      Obviously not all that confident about negotiating that tricky hairpin bend by the canal ...

    6. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Not actually an interview but....

      A sensible precaution, if you were learning to drive a DUKW.

    7. Scroticus Canis
      Joke

      Re: "I once had a driving lesson whilst wearing a wetsuit"

      Did the instructor wet themself as well?

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge

        Re: "I once had a driving lesson whilst wearing a wetsuit"

        Where, according to Amy, there was an unexpected house.

  8. GlenP Silver badge

    Dress Code

    When I'm interviewing I do expect candidates to wear a suit (of course if they turned up in leathers and explained why, as detailed above, that would be fine).

    It's not about judging their ability, it is judging their attitude. If they can't be arsed to dress reasonably smartly for an interview I'll suspect they won't care too much about the job either. Once working we do have a dress code but it's basically polo shirts and trousers (shorts are only allowed in Aus!)

    1. AVee

      Re: Dress Code

      Hmm... When I go for an interview (which has been a long time ago) I expect to be judged on my abilities, not my appearance. I've never worn a suit to a interview, it really helps to select the companies that care about the right things. You know, because I care about the actual job...

      1. Manolo

        Re: Dress Code

        I think suit or no suit is not the issue.

        What matters is indeed if you can be arsed to look halfway decent and clean and maybe if your attire matches the dress code of the company or the industry.

        Personally, I've never worn a suit to an interview, because I work in health care, and we don't work in suits. So dress shoes, decent trousers and an ironed shirt is enough. I won't show up in sneakers, jeans and a t-shirt. Not on the job and not on a job interview.

        1. AVee

          Re: Dress Code

          Well fair enough, it makes sense to dress according to the job your interviewing for. But the OP specifically expected people to show up in a suit, which (for my type of jobs) I'll never wear on a normal work day. That just seems senseless to me. Sure, showing a bit of effort for an interview is the right thing to do, but a suit is overdoing it in a lot of cases. And assuming someone doesn't care about a job because they don't overdress seems weird to me.

          Maybe I've just met to much people that wear a suit to compensate for a lack of content lately, so it might just be me...

          1. J. Cook Silver badge

            Re: Dress Code

            My 'interview' outfit has been my suit jacket, white long-sleeved button down shirt, a neutral tie, my nicest pair of black trousers ('docker' style pants for the USAians) and dress shoes. Seems to work well enough.

            Oddly enough, that's the same outfit I use for funerals and formal weddings.

      2. Cynic_999 Silver badge

        Re: Dress Code

        Not much use hiring someone with fantastic abilities - but who can't be arsed to use them.

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Dress Code

      OTOH about 20 years ago I had gig where my client wanted me to do some work on site at their customer's HO and insisted that I wear a suit on site. So I ended up working in a rapidly dishevelling suit in a heat wave (spending as much time as possible in the machine room to take advantage of the aircon). The customer manager I dealt with was in shorts and sandals in the office. He was the one with appropriate attire.

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: Dress Code

        Somewhat similar, we had a customer (now no longer in operation) who would insist that all we vendor engineers came on site in shirt and tie. Meanwhile of course their engineers could wear more or less what they liked (jeans and t-shirt usually).

        Now bearing in mind that I'm talking the semiconductor industry, meaning that we wear cleanroom bunny suits all day (at least when in the cleanroom) so had to have said shirt and tie on underneath those.

        Those things aren't exactly comfortable if you've just got t-shirt and trousers on underneath, but with shirt and tie they're unbearable.

        In the end it finally got relaxed when someone actually fainted due to overheating and we persuaded our sales droids to basically inform the customer that if it didn't no-one would set foot into the cleanroom to support their equipment ever again.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Dress Code

          we had a customer (now no longer in operation) who would insist that all we vendor engineers came on site in shirt and tie.

          Years ago we were installing stuff in a bank in Edinburgh, as part of a trial. We were a shirt & tie company anyway, and we all had suits on as we met the bank staff. They too were in suits, but it all quickly came down to shirtsleeves & loosened ties as we pitched in with PC & network setup.

          Come lunchtime we were invited to eat in the executive dining room, since we were "partners" in the trial. The bank staff all headed off to grab their suit jackets, but as we went to do likewise we were told "no need". The staff weren't allowed in that dining room without jacket & tie, but as guests we could wear what we liked...

        2. Scroticus Canis

          Re: Dress Code

          Back in my big-iron mainframe days no one was allowed into the machine room wearing a tie or scarf due to the risk of garotting by line printers, card readers, tape decks, etc...

          Except of course HR and managers but we had no luck there :(

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Dress Code

            There's a reason that ties were fair game for anyone with a pair of scissors at most early Silly Con Valley companies ... hand-built one-off prototypes often had voracious cooling fans. The theory was that if we starved 'em of ties they'd be too weak to do much other damage. Not even IBM Field Circus folks were safe from the shears ... HP, somewhat wisely, decided ties were pretty useless fairly early on, as did DEC's Palo Alto contingent. Most of the other big names followed. Some of the Military Brass working out of Ford Aerospace, Varian & etc. had special dispensation to do without neck-ware "so they'd fit in with the locals" ... We had high hopes that it'd become a world-wide movement and we'd be done with the useless things for good.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I take your bike leathers and raise you Lycra

    As a racing cyclist and systems admin in my early 20's I used to cycle the 25 mile each way commute. If there was an issue when I arrived in the office I would be encouraged to just kick off my cycling shoes and get to work. I have ended up working a couple of days in lycra for the whole day. The biggies issue is trying to go to the loo wearing bib shorts.

    I wasn't prepared to change straight from cycling gear to 'street' clothes as I needed a wash first. often there wasn't time for that luxury so I'd stay Lycra clad.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I take your bike leathers and raise you Lycra

      >>>The biggies issue is trying to go to the loo wearing bib shorts.

      I'd have said the biggest issue was those around you having to deal with the "cat piss & vinegar" stink.

  10. Andy 68

    Getting changed

    Back in the day, I had to go on customer site for something, and the boss decided he'd come along as well to glad-hand and schmooze.

    Obviously we had to go in his car, because he wanted to show off the Lotus.

    When I arrived at his house on the bike, he came out of his house and closed the door behind him, then was shocked at my filthy leathers. "No problem, I'll change", but he didn't want to let me in his house.

    Ok - I'll strip off and change on his driveway. When he saw me take my boots off and unzip my leathers, he nervously looked around his Stepford-Wives-esque part of Basingstoke and decided to usher me into his house.

    Which is how I ended up standing in my boss's hallway in my boxers when his wife came down the stairs wondering why he'd come back inside...

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

      Re: Getting changed

      Thanks. Have not laughed that much in quite a while!

    2. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

      Re: Getting changed

      My boss never allows me in his car anymore .... not after he demanded I go with him to sort a customers problem....

      "Get Boris" came the call

      "Where is he? "

      "Cell #6 doing some fixing"

      Duely called , jumped in his car.. went to customer, had chat.. went back to work

      Now the thing about warm hydraulic oil is that you dont always spot when you've been sitting in a puddle of it... however... the boss's wife soon spotted that someone dipped in oil had been sitting in the passenger seat........

      I dont get to go on jollies anymore :(

  11. ColinPa

    You can't just an expert by his attire

    When I worked at IBM, I was asked to attend a meeting with some visiting guys from California. They turned up, long hair, sandels , looking very scruffy. They present their plans, and during the any questions I suggested that what they were doing was not very good, and there may be some other, better implementations. My manager kept whispering "stop it - sit down, keep quiet", but fools rush in etc. Afterwards I was introduced to them; "Mr DB2 and his team" or the Architect of SQL. They were very nice, and said I had raised a good point.

    We had a local character, an expert, he wore hair down his back, didnt drive, and looked like a hobo. We had a customer present their plans, and they stood back expecting to get praise for a good design. Our hobo said "this is total boll*cks. It wont work" the customer was shocked, the hobo went on to say "it work work because of a) b) c). If you change this and this and this, you will get a better solution, which is cheaper to implement, and have better availability". Afterwards the customer (having recovered from the shell shock) said what a great meeting it was, and what clarify they had from IBM.

  12. Lotaresco Silver badge

    Not me, but someone else

    I once worked at a tech. company with its headquarters on the same site as McLaren. Our owner was very old and his son was taking over running the business. The son loved race cars and racing yachts. We shared an office because I was one of the people training him to understand the products that we created. One lunchtime he was out and reception called to say that they had a visitor held in reception and they needed the bosses son to vouch for the visitor because he was repeating his name and saying he had an, appointment that they couldn't trace. I was the only one in the office at the time so I said I'd come down to deal with it. The receptionist was quite upset because the person in question was "wearing casual clothes" and she couldn't believe that he'd have a genuine reason to have an appointment with someone who was, after all, a billionaire who tended to keep other people at a distance.

    I did a double-take. The person in reception was Ron Dennis, wearing clothing that was indeed "casual" but had probably cost more than my monthly salary. He had an appointment but the bosses son had forgotten to tell anyone. I was gobsmacked that the receptionist could think he was scruffy just because he didn't have a jacket.

    1. PerlyKing Silver badge

      Re: scruffy just because he didn't have a jacket

      In my first job I was asked to go to a meet & greet with prospective graduate hires, as I was a recent graduate hire myself. The dress code at work was suit and tie, but as it seemed an informal evening affair I showed up without my jacket. About thirty seconds later a steward appeared at my elbow and inquired in a lowered voice, "would Sir feel more comfortable in a jacket?". I took the hint and fetched my jacket from my desk.

    2. Admiral Grace Hopper Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: Not me, but someone else

      Prejudices help nobody.

      In my pre-IT youth I worked in a hotel that was basically run as a hobby for the mistress of the local scrap metal king. A master of his trade, his reading and writing were not the best, but he could add up a column of figures and calculate various percentage discounts faster than Excel (then still at v1). One day he rocked up in a Rolls Royce Corniche Convertible. It seems that he'd developed an urge for one and bought it on a whim. He'd taken what he thought was enough cash out of the safe and rocked up at the local RR dealer where they took one look at this ruffian clutching a supermarket carrier bag and none too subtly tried to show him the door. He pointed out that they had just lost a cash sale, showed them the contents of his bag, jumped into his Transit van, went to the next nearest dealer where they treated him like a prince and sold him his car from stock, for cash.

      1. T. F. M. Reader

        Re: Not me, but someone else

        I hope he then drove by the first dealership, smiled the Julia Roberts smile, and said, "You people work on commission, right? ... Big mistake. Big. Huge."

        1. cdrcat

          Re: Not me, but someone else

          Don't spare a thought for such shallow idiots. Showing such people their mistakes is often futile, wasting your time and theirs.

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Not me, but someone else

            But satisfying.

          2. A.P. Veening Silver badge

            Re: Not me, but someone else

            Wasting their time is not my problem.

      2. Nunyabiznes Silver badge

        Re: Not me, but someone else

        The last time I went to buy a new truck I went in my shop clothes. Clean but obviously clothes of a working man.

        The first salesman was a snob, so I went over to the next dealer (different manufacturer). That salesman was great. I bought the truck and made a point of going to the sales manager of the first dealer and detailing exactly why his dealership was down one cash sale. He didn't seem too concerned about it so I left a review on the manufacturer's website about the dealer. I got a call from the regional manager apologizing for the experience - which was nice. I heard later there was an opening for a sales manager at the dealership.

      3. Scroticus Canis
        Big Brother

        Re: Not me, but someone else

        Try buying a Roller (or any other car) for cash at a manufacturer's dealership nowadays and it's likely that the feds will rock up and start suggesting that your laundering money.

        1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: Not me, but someone else

          The chances of the feds showing up at any dealership I am likely to visit range from negligible to none, independent if I try to buy for cash or not, as they just don't have jurisdiction.

      4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Not me, but someone else

        "they took one look at this ruffian clutching a supermarket carrier bag"

        One of the best - and truest - lines in LOTSW was along those lines. The scruffs were wandering through a car showroom. One salesman to another: "Shall I throw them out?" "Nay lad, round here they can look like that and be millionaires."

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not me, but someone else

        IIRC something similar happened to one of the Rolling Stones (Jagger?) just when they started earning enough money to buy whatever they fancied.

        So a scruffy looking Jagger (assuming Jagger) shows up at an expensive car dealership in provincial France wanting to buy a car. Unrecognized, he is more or less politely tossed out. So he went and brought the car at the dealership in the next town over.

        It is said, but I can't vouch for it, the dealers knew each other and and at their next meeting the second one said to the first one "Guess who came in and bought an xxx from me?".

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Not me, but someone else

          shows up at an expensive car dealership in provincial France wanting to buy a car.

          Given the amount of paperwork like proof of ID, residence and insurance that you need to buy a car in France, I''m sceptical.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Not me, but someone else

            Given that the Stones started making serious money in the mid-1960s ... Aftermath was 1966 ... what were the rules & regs on automobile purchases in France back then?

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Not me, but someone else

            Did you in the 50's though?

  13. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    Early on in the life of our first startup (~30 years ago), tendering for a 7-8 digit contract from a UK utility, we made the short list of two. The other contender was IBM. There was a meeting to decide who got the contract, both IBM and us to provide up to three people to answer the client's questions about our tenders. The three IBMers were there in expensive suits. One of our number, the domain specialist, was also in a suit because he'd been an IBMer until we hired him. Our sole marketing man was in chinos and sports jacket. I as main techie wore DMs, black jeans, black T-shirt and a motorbike jacket. It soon became obvious that the IBMers were all marketing types with no real technical knowledge, and they were somewhat undermined by our ex-IBMer knowing that the software they were pushing was vaporware. We answered all the clients questions from domain specific stuff right down to what hardware and networking we'd install.

    We got the contract. We continued to beat IBM afterwards and first they asked us to port our software to AIX(*), gave us machines for free, and ultimately when their project got canned, they started selling our product into their contracts.

    (*) Doing the port I also had direct access to their compiler team, because our code gave the C compiler a more vigorous workout than it had got up to that point. Getting compiler bug fixes in less than an hour was the best service I've ever had from a vendor.

  14. MGyrFalcon

    Monkey on my back

    I am not a big fan of shoes. I much prefer walking around in stocking feet. I had a job (coincidentally in the CBOT) where after I showed up in the morning I would kick my shoes off under my desk and walk around all day w/out. I didn't get much grief from coworkers, but when I'd step outside for a cigarette, especially in January or February, I would get all kinds of hassling from the smokers clique. After a while I decided to appease them and I bough slippers, with large stuffed monkey heads on the toes. That got many smiles, and a bit of a side look from my manager.

    Jump forward 2 years and I was transferred to the new office in the northeast of America. I didn't take the monkey slippers with, but continued to go about my day sans shoes. One day I was cornered by an HR drone who told me I had to wear shoes on the job. I politely pointed out that the company dress code made no mention of a shoe requirement and that there was not OSHA requirement for shoes. I had read the HR handbook, but the OSHA bit was a bluff, I hadn't actually checked OSHA regulation on shoes. She stomped off in a huff to check, but I never heard from her, or HR again on the matter.

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Monkey on my back

      Can't get away with that in the EE Lab...one DIP on the floor, pins up, will demonstrate why.

      1. Zarno Bronze badge
        Mushroom

        Re: Monkey on my back

        Can confirm.

        Worse than a wayward D4 or LEGO brick...

        1. Lotaresco Silver badge

          Re: Monkey on my back

          "Worse than a wayward D4 or LEGO brick..."

          But not as bad a BS1363 plug.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Monkey on my back

            I see your three-pin plugs (literally, they are HUGE) and raise you an eight-pin DIP ... The venerable 555 has a habit of landing pins-up just exactly where my heel is going to come down. I've stepped on 6 of the damn things over the years ... all drew blood, two of them left bits behind in the bone, requiring removal by a surgeon. No other IC has ever assaulted me, just the 555. Is it paranoia when they really are out to get you?

            1. swm Silver badge

              Re: Monkey on my back

              "The venerable 555 has a habit of landing pins-up"

              It's a timing thing.

              1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                Re: Monkey on my back

                It is. You got there first, dammit.

          2. Alan Brown Silver badge

            Re: Monkey on my back

            "But not as bad a BS1363 plug."

            I'll see your BS1363 and raise you a NZS/AS3112 side entry plug (10 or 32A, they both hertz)

        2. Stevie Silver badge

          Re: Monkey on my back

          But the pins-up chip will magically find the ball of the foot, whereas your typical Lego brick will seek out the tender arch of the foot.

          This Means Something.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Monkey on my back

            With me it's not the ball, it's the heel ... see above.

            1. Stevie Silver badge

              Re: Monkey on my back

              Are you sure you are stepping on a timer and not a hop-amp?

              1. jake Silver badge
                Pint

                Re: Monkey on my back

                Ouch.

                Have a beer, Stevie :-)

                1. Stevie Silver badge
                  Pint

                  Re: Monkey on my back

                  My round, I think jake!

      2. pavel.petrman

        Re: Monkey on my back

        Yesterday I managed to step on a stripe of new Molex MIni-Fits. The hollow ones proved quite harmless, whereas the spiky ones, well, not nice at all.

    2. ICPurvis47 Bronze badge
      Windows

      Re: Monkey on my back

      When I was running the Technical Manuals department of a Midlands electrical company, I had a Technical Writer under me, as well as two word processer operators (female). When Roger turned 60, we clubbed together and bought him a nice pair of Teddy Bear slippers, which he wore around the office until we were all made redundant some two years later.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Monkey on my back

        So let me get this straight ... You dressed your technical writer in a teddie, and then gave the secretaries a jolly good Roger?

        Tell that to kids today and they'd never believe you ...

  15. spold Silver badge

    Optimisation

    >>>

    As it transpired, the customer turned out to be highly technically astute. They just required guidance in database and website optimisation

    <<<

    ...add more terror-bites

    1. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

      Re: Optimisation

      ...add more terror-bites

      Terror-Daktil 4D on World of Spectrum has a lot of terror-bites :)

  16. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "had time left to kill in Chicago"

    Nice one.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    These have been dull for a while, but this was brilliant.

  18. MarkET

    Appearance et al...

    Once met a young lady on a flight to Austen from London. Turned out we were both booked into the same hotel where a realtors conference was being held. We met later in the bar and were eventually asked to leave because of wearing jeans and t-shirts. The young lady then announced to the unfortunate staffer that her father owned the hotel chain. Had a couple of free drinks. That's all.

    1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Appearance et al...

      Missed Opportunity.

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Appearance et al...

      I suppose that's one occasion when "Do you know who I am?" really was appropriate.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Appearance et al...

        IMO, playing the "Do you know who I am?" card is always inappropriate.

        I've had it directed at me a couple times over the years. My response is always the same, whether I know who they are or not. I look 'em up & down with a quizzical expression, and say with complete sincerity "No. I'm sorry, I haven't the foggiest." ... it instantly deflates even the most inflated ego.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Appearance et al...

          With something like this I think it depends on the situation. If the hotel has an established dress code for the bar area then absolutely, then she should know better and is suggesting the rules shouldn't apply to her because of who she is. On the other hand, if there's no dress code but the conference don't like their attire so the bar staff are making up rules, then it's absolutely appropriate, not only are they kicking out guests on a whim but they've been caught doing it by the owners daughter.

        2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Appearance et al...

          "No. I'm sorry, I haven't the foggiest."

          The better option is to call over to someone else "There's somebody here who's lost their memory. Do you know who they are?"

  19. Rattus
    Holmes

    Appropriate attire?

    Ever turned up for a meeting in garb some might consider wildly inappropriate?

    Not quite.

    Back in the 1990's I worked for a, now defunct, IVR telephone bureau as their tech-lead. I used to design services for telephone respondents to advertising campaigns etc. I was good at my job. After a while the MD began to drag me into the high level sales meetings to explain to $customer executives what it was we did and how it could make them more money. More and more often I would be taken along to the customer site for both team and board level meetings. This went on for perhaps a year before the MD, rather sheepishly, took me to one side and pointed out that my shorts, t-shirt and long hair were perhaps not conducive to a 'board room' environment, and would I consider a suit and hair cut.

    Being both young and foolish I agreed, especially as it came with a 15% pay rise.

    2 months later I was summoned in to see the MD once again. He started by thanking me for complying with the new dress code, poured me a drink and then apologised. We had failed to close a single deal since I had put on a suit. Turns out that the customers were very happy to have a geek who could largely speak their language come and talk to them - they trusted what I was saying and accepted my projected time scales, as soon as a put on a suit they assumed I was just another sales 'droid and doubled or tripled any price or time scale I mentioned.

    Appearances mean a lot in business - when being honest don't where a suit :-)

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Appropriate attire?

      "Being both young and foolish I agreed, especially as it came with a 15% pay rise."

      Nothing foolish about accepting a 15%rise. I trust you kept it after abandoning the suit.

  20. Daedalus Silver badge

    Inverse case

    Chap showed up to work with nicely cut hair, suit and tie.

    Never mind he'd been your basic "fish around in the pile for what doesn't smell too bad today" dresser beforehand. The mystery was, why would he think that nobody would notice and draw conclusions? To be fair, we were all a bit nervous of our jobs at the time.

    1. GlenP Silver badge

      Re: Inverse case

      When I turned up in a suit at work once instead of my usual polo shirt and chinos I did make a point of saying I was going to a funeral later!

    2. TheMeerkat Bronze badge

      Re: Inverse case

      Turning up wearing suit for no particular reason can be used to remind the management that you are not going to stay forever if they keep your salary the same.

  21. E 5

    Showed up to a job interview for a manufacturing technician position at a large semiconductor company in the PacNW wearing slacks, shirt, & tie (knew the jacket was overkill). Got laughed at (gregariously) about being over dressed by the hiring managers (wearing shorts, rock band t's, and scruffy hair) and told never again...the observed dress ranged from nice shorts & t, through cutoffs and tanks, to "I just came from the basketball court". Facial hair ranged from baby faced to Rasputin. Only hard rule was closed-toe shoes (Vibram 5-finger toesies count). Now I just wear cargo shorts, t-shirt, and slip-ons...those bunny suits do get warm!

    (Side note, I'm out of the clean room now, in a remote ops center...as I haven't been in a bunny suit in a little while, my Donnie Darko Frank the Bunny costume is on order...plan to change into it when no one is looking, after we've settled in for the shift, and resume like nothing's different. When asked, my answer will be that I haven't been in a bunny suit in a while, and since I can't take one out of the clean room...hopefully none of my coworkers read this before I get it =)

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      If you’re talking about the company I think you are that has a multiplicity of sites around the Portland area, yep, no-one but the Sales team wears ties, let alone jackets. You’d get really funny looks if you turned up dressed like that.

      I do remember one of my old (male) managers once turning up in a pink ballerina tutu (complete with stubble and hiking boots), but that was for some charity thing.

  22. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    Those weren't vampires, they were Goths.

    1. DryBones
      Trollface

      You're not a real Goth unless you've sacked Rome.

      1. Outski Bronze badge

        From the Guardian style guide:

        Goths

        (uc) Germanic tribe that invaded the Roman empire

        goths

        (lc) Sisters of Mercy fans who invaded the Shepherd’s Bush Empire

  23. rcxb Silver badge

    Banks are the worst

    Ever turned up for a meeting in garb some might consider wildly inappropriate? And then gone on to wipe the floor with them thanks to your technical prowess?

    I got contracted to rush in and fix a bank branch's urgent computer/network problem.

    I was not at home, but instead out hiking (this was mid-summer) when the call came in. I was much closer to the bank than my apartment and since it was urgent I went directly there, knowing my shabby appearance would require a bit of explanation. What I didn't expect was the agent at the front leading me into an empty room by myself, and waiting there for 15 minutes until a police officer arrived. After providing the name and phone number of the person who had contacted me, the officer left. I proceeded on to fix the problem in about 30 minutes that multiple guys in suits couldn't figure after several hours.

    Learn from my mistake... And I don't mean dress codes. Absolutely NEVER say the word "computer" in a bank. It's like saying "bomb" at an airport. Focus on the important part ("I was told to talk to person XYZ") and don't offer any other information, no matter how friendly or insistently they keep asking questions.

    The irony is, if I'd actually been trying to social engineer my way in, it seems a suit, a clip-on plastic badge and laptop bag is really all it takes. Banks are the worst.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Banks are the worst

      Oilskin duster, wet weather. Call from coworker "Hey, pick up a roll of cat-6 from the bank just past <store>, ask for <name> from <contractor>, he's got one of our boxes leftover."

      I pop over, ask at the lobby for <name> from <contractor>, get told to wait, so I do.

      20 min go by. "Sir, please step outside and leave the premises." "No problem, have a wonderful day."

      Call coworker "They asked me to leave? Maybe <name> wasn't there?"" "Oh, there's a different bank one more plaza down the road, that's the one, sorry about that"

      All goes well at next bank, grab the cable, get in the car, drive back towards next destination.

      Gumballs light up and two squaddies railroad me into a convenience store lot.

      "Hands where we can see them, keys on the roof, NOW"

      "So, how many banks you been to today? Why ya dressed like that? Why did you leave the scene of the first one?"

      "Two. It's wet weather, this is my raincoat. They asked me to leave, I complied with that order. It was a misunderstanding about which institution we were working at. I then completed my assigned task. There's a box of cat-6 in the back seat, call up <name> from <contractor> at <number>, and <boss> from <company> at <number>, they'll explain it better than I can."

      30 more minutes later, "It checks out. Consider this a lesson to be more careful about what you wear. {scratches roof pulling my keys off it} Here's your keys."

      Turns out the first bank had been recently robbed, and someone in an oilskin duster walking in caused the alarm button to be pushed. I was apparently supposed to stay on the property, but was told to leave, so it went to "active suspect", and, well, now I joke about it over drinks at the Christmas parties.

  24. Angry IT Monkey

    Way back in the last millennium I was sent to a warehouse job interview by the unemployment office. The pay was something insulting like "your benefits plus £10 a week" and it was miles away so I really didn't want the job, but had to go or I might lose my benefits.

    So I turned up late in a thrash metal t-shirt, ripped jeans and with my long hair down.

    The interviewer was so nice explaining why I hadn't got the job and giving tips for future interviews I played dumb and pretended it was all new to me.

    Then I got the same job at another branch of the same company closer to home on full pay.

  25. Sparkus

    Here you go....

    http://monstrumathenaeum.org/top-10-vampire-dating-sites/

  26. slimshady76
    Unhappy

    Nobody wanted Maxim Reality fixing their Eudora Mail!!!

    I started my IT career in my early 20s, back at the second half of the 90s, as an internship at the Dean's office in my local University. I studied Physics there, and distributed my day between the Novel Netware over a coax bus and the various courses I was taking. At the time I also enjoyed sport climbing and MTB. So in the warmer months, I used to drop by the Uni with dreadlocks on my head, a black The Prodigy tank top, camo cargo shorts, Shimano SPD sandals, a backpack with studying material, a climbing harness, rope, etc. The professors at my courses didn't pay much attention to me, but knocking on an emeritus researcher door to fix their internet connection looking like that usually caused a look of disdain.

    My usual answer was "I get it, you don't consider my look appropriate for the job I'm doing, but guess what: the faster I fix your mess, the sooner I'll leave. And if you don't ever need to see me again, you can take that as a measure of how well skilled I am!"

  27. satyaprakash

    vampires still exists

    How Many of you think vampires still exists and where they are?

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: vampires still exists

      They exist and here is a list

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_surviving_de_Havilland_Vampires

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: vampires still exists

        Well played, sir.

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