back to article Q: What’s big, red and pulses UV light into the cosmos three times a night? A: Mars

Mars pulses with ultraviolet light three times a night during spring and autumn, according to boffins from the University of Colorado's Laboratory for Atmospheric and Space Physics (LASP). Detailed in a new paper titled Imaging of Martian Circulation Patterns and Atmospheric Tides Through MAVEN/IUVS Nightglow Observations, the …

  1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
    Alien

    The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

    At midnight, on the 12th of August, a huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars and sped towards Earth. ...

    A flare, spurting out from Mars. Bright green, drawing a green mist behind it; a beautiful, but somehow disturbing sight. Ogilvy, the astronomer, assured me we were in no danger.

    1. MOH

      Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

      Genius. *checks calendar* Uh oh. Just when I thought 2020 couldn't get even worse ....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

        A real missed opportunity there, they should have delayed the press release and used it as a hook :-)

      2. Symon Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

        "2020 couldn't get even worse"

        A mighty space it was, and scattered about it, in their overturned machines, were the Martians - dead... slain, after all man's devices had failed, by the humblest things upon the Earth. Coronaviruses. Minute, invisible coronaviruses! Directly the Invaders arrived and drank and fed in an Aberdeen pub, our microscopic allies attacked them. From that moment - they were doomed!

        p.s. Sadly, "The chance that extraterrestrial bacteria would be deadly to humans is zero. Not just very, very small. Zero."

        https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2017/06/16/would-extraterrestrial-bacteria-be-dangerous-to-humans/

        1. not.known@this.address Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

          "p.s. Sadly, "The chance that extraterrestrial bacteria would be deadly to humans is zero. Not just very, very small. Zero."

          https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2017/06/16/would-extraterrestrial-bacteria-be-dangerous-to-humans/"

          So they have completely discounted the theory life on Earth arose as a result of comet dust then?

          1. Symon Silver badge
            Mushroom

            Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

            Re: Panspermia.

            If the cosmic seeding thing is true, it would have started at least 3.7 billion years ago here on Earth. As I'm sure you are aware, evolution through the natural selection of genes is driven by random mutation. It is not directed. So, the chance that anything coming from Mars, or the rest of the cosmos, being pathogenic after billions of years of random mutation is infinitesimal.

            Other things from outer space are dangerous. E.g. large rocks, ultra-violet light.

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

              If it started some 4 billion years ago, plus or minus ... what would have stopped it continuing? Shirley it would be a continuous event, and still be happening right now, today?

              Would explain lots of things. Politicians, for one ...

            2. David Hicklin

              Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

              Re: Panspermia.

              The problem with this theory is that it just shunts the same problem elsewhere - life has to start somewhere first.

              Unless of course we are stuck in an infinite time loop and its our task to seed the first planet.

        2. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

          I wish I could up vote you a second time just for the "Directly the Invaders arrived and drank and fed in an Aberdeen pub".

          Icon - Have a pint instead.

        3. tfb Silver badge
          Boffin

          Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

          p.s. Sadly, "The chance that extraterrestrial bacteria would be deadly to humans is zero. Not just very, very small. Zero."

          Well whoever said that (I realise it wasn't you) wasn't thinking very hard at all, were they? It's completely trivial to show that the probability is greater than zero (keep generating random planets until you get an Earth clone, pick bubonic plague) and in real life the probabilities will be much much higher than that. The probability may not be high, but it certainly is not zero.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One He Said

          @Symon: what about their viruses?

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    The Universe is a strange place. Even our little corner of it.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Especially our little corner of it.

      "May you live in interesting times."

  3. oiseau Silver badge
    Alien

    Marse code

    I think it is a warning in Marse Code.

    They are probably trying to tell us to get the fuck off and stop littering their planet.

    O.

    PD: it is Friday, no?

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Marse code

      I suspect you're right about the Code but I'm thinking it's a warning beacon telling travelers to avoid this area of space.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Marse code

        Or a lighthouse - warning all space travellers

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Big, red and spews UV light?

    Here I was expecting an analysis of Trump's ego, and it's just about Mars.

    So, so disappointed...

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Big, red and spews UV light?

      Here I was expecting an analysis of Trump's ego,

      I do not want to think about Trump flashing three times a night!

      1. SloppyJesse

        Re: Big, red and spews UV light?

        I do not want to think about Trump flashing three times a night!

        FTFY

        1. AceRimmer1980
          Alien

          Re: Big, red and spews UV light?

          DJ Mysteron headlining MonsFest, having it large before the invasion.

        2. jake Silver badge

          Re: Big, red and spews UV light?

          I'd rather not have to think about Trump at all. Bring on November ...

  5. DS999

    If we'd been able to see that from Earth 100 years ago

    It would have been seen as proof Martians are trying to signal us, or working on a UV laser to give us all sunburn.

  6. Doctor Evil

    Or else

    Mars isn't exactly a "monolith" (along the lines of TMA-1), but perhaps ...

  7. Neoc

    Three flashes a night? That has got to be the SLOWEST bandwidth I've ever experienced.

    <yorkshireman>Three flashes a night? Luxury.</yorkshireman>

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