back to article Search for 'things of value' in a bank: Iowa cops allege this bloke broke into one and decided on ... hand sanitiser

Though the global coronavirus pandemic rests on a knife edge in many countries, some restrictions have been eased and folks are settling into the "new normal". It was just four months ago that we were furiously punching our bog roll stocks into web calculators and NT News was boasting of its 8-page "special liftout" to help …

  1. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge

    Hand sanitizer chasers

    Personally, I think Darwinism is a good thing if done early enough in life.

    1. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

      I was going to make a similar comment but on thinking about it, it's rather sad that anyone should be so desperate for a hit that they would drink hand sanitiser.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

        Working at a hospital, we have had problems with the local alcoholics nicking the dispensers from the entrances.

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge

          Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

          but that's enough about the Doctors.

          Icon - Coat (White).

          1. IGotOut Silver badge

            Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

            Not sure the joke icon. The boggest chsin smoking, drug taking alcohlics I ever met were doctors.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

              Too bad you never met a grammar teacher

              1. Kane Silver badge

                Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

                "Too bad you never met a grammar teacher"


                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

                  It was either that or some snarky comment about spellcheckers.

            2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

              Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

              alcohlics I ever met were doctors

              You know the old saying: And alcoholic is someone who drinks more than their doctor...

    2. rcxb Silver badge

      Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

      Think about it:

      You're seriously ill, and not improving for a an extended time.

      Hospitals are overflowing with contagious people.

      You are running out of cold medications.

      Your condition also happens to clouds your judgment.

      Desperate people do desperate things. You don't have to be too challenged to make the next, poorly considered leap.

      1. boxplayer

        Re: Hand sanitizer chasers

        OK, I can see that he might be desperate for some sanitizer gel, but it's a strange mental process that leads to the conclusion that a bank would be the best or easiest place to break into.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm surprised he didn't make a clean getaway.

    1. Andy Non Silver badge

      He's innocent I tell you, he wouldn't want to get his hands dirty.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Work at a hospital....

    .....during the height of the pandemic - saw two palettes, one with laptops and the other had facemasks and PPE.

    Couldn't help but wonder which would get nicked first....

    1. EnviableOne Silver badge

      Re: Work at a hospital....

      My van holds two pallets

  4. disgruntled yank Silver badge


    Almost surprising he didn't then break into the restrooms and steal the toilet paper.

  5. Brian Miller Silver badge

    No cash lying around

    "Now, we could be wrong, but banks usually keep quite a lot of cash on hand, right?"

    Well, it's all kept in a safe. The new banks actually use armored dispensers for the cash, so the customer takes a receipt to the dispenser, which then doles it out.

    So of course they guy took the hand sanitizer, because it had more value than the paperclips and pens lying about.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the money's in the vault

    I don't know how Blighty's banks do it, but there are rack for the money drawers in our left-pondian banks. The only things you can steal without vault access are the lollipops and pens from the counters, and the withdrawal slips they keep stashed behind the counter.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: the money's in the vault

      I'm pretty confident that is the case in ANY bank in ANY part of the world. I can't imagine any bank would think it a good idea to leave any cash in the tellers cash drawers overnight.

  7. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    I suppose it's just possible that the lobby was easy to break into but the doors into the rest of the bank were a bit tougher. I suppose it's also possible that the only thing removable from the lobby was the sanitizer. I've come across a few criminals dumb enough for that but not dumb enough to choose sanitizer if cash were available.

  8. Keith Oborn



  9. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    By the way:

    Don't drink methanol, no.

    If I'm correctly interpreting

    then also don't drink isopropanol.

    And just don't drink hand sanitizer.

    By the way why is the sanitizer I purchased recently... sticky? It says on the bottle "No rinse off" but it is really difficult to get the stickiness off my hands.

    Maybe it's meant to say "Now rinse off".

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Re: By the way:

      Means you can't rinse it off.


      1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        Re: By the way:

        Ah well. I can grow more skin.

        The bottle says Garnier, PureActive, Hydro-Alcoholic, presumably legitimate enough, I think it is from Tesco.

        I do not recommend this product.

  10. Nunyabiznes Silver badge

    Warning labels

    I strongly believe it is time to take all the warning labels off and let nature take its course.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Warning labels

      I just bought an angle grinder. The first 19 pages of the instructions were warnings! Nobody is going to read all that shit! I know it’s not a fucking children's toy you cretins! What I want to know is how to fit the disc. A page of warnings might actually get read.

      1. Dwarf Silver badge

        Re: Warning labels

        Are you planning on grinding metric or imperial angles ?

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: Warning labels

          I’m starting with Angles, then moving on to Saxons and Jutes...

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: Warning labels

            Mines all nice and fluffy. It's an Angel Grinder :-)

            1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

              Re: Warning labels

              I believe you’ll find that The Lord Our God frowns on Angel Grindr...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nature is a double-edged sword ....... sometimes !!!


    "I strongly believe it is time to take all the warning labels off and let nature take its course."

    Unfortunately, 'Nature taking its course' is where these future 'Darwin Award winners' came from !!! :)

    Careful what you wish for !!!

    1. Alumoi

      Re: Nature is a double-edged sword ....... sometimes !!!

      So what's wrong with a little lots of chlorine in the gene pool?

      1. J. Cook Silver badge

        Re: Nature is a double-edged sword ....... sometimes !!!

        You are not supposed to drink bleach either, yet our illustrious leader had mentioned that in a tweet some months previous. *eyeroll*

  12. IGotOut Silver badge

    I always found it funny...

    when I hear of the bog roll and hand sanitiser shortages.

    Never had an issue.

    Was it a town and city thing?

    1. DS999

      Re: I always found it funny...

      The tp shortage was for two reasons:

      1) people are at home more, so they need more tp at home

      2) the companies making tp produce a different type for home (nice and soft) and commercial (that thin sandpapery kind most places use) and they can't easily convert from one to the other

      So not only did the needs for homes go up a lot and there wasn't enough supply for that level of usage, but once shortages got in the news people wanted to "stock up" leading to further shortages and more incentive to stock up when you see it on the shelves.

      Not sure why it didn't affect you, do you live somewhere where people have reason to want to keep more on hand - i.e. rural areas where it is a longer trip to the store so you want to go less often, storms might keep you away so you keep more on hand than the average person, etc.? Or maybe the store manager of the place where you shop has some pull with the distributors lol

      1. David Hicklin

        Re: I always found it funny...

        Fortunately we were well stocked up on just about everything - not for Covid but in anticipation of shortages when Brexit finally fully arrives (end of Dec 2020 currently unless someone blinks). Started in 2018 and just keep rotating.

        Served us well and it meant that we could leave the stuff that on the shelves for others when it ran in short supply.

  13. RM Myers Silver badge

    "....perhaps hand sanitiser remains highly sought after in some parts of the US"

    Actually, yes. Yesterday was the first time in three months that my local grocery/general merchandise store actually had hand sanitiser, and their supply was extremely limited. Maybe the shortage is limited to the midwest (which of course, is actually located in the mideast portion of the US, but I digress). However, there hasn't been any shortage of toilet paper.

    You'll have to make of that what you will, I'm not getting into any discussions of local hygiene.

    1. WolfFan Silver badge

      Re: "....perhaps hand sanitiser remains highly sought after in some parts of the US"

      Around here, there was a severe shortage of both TP and hand sanitizer. The shelves in local supermarkets were completely bare, no paper products, not even napkins or kitchen paper towels (apparently Bounty really is a Quicker Picker Upper....) to be seen, all gone. Costco and Sam’s Club and BJ’s rationed you one package per household and still ran out. Places like Office Depot and Ace Hardware (I’m not making this up, _Ace Hardware_) got in TP and rationed one to three rolls to a customer, and still ran out. Certain people were seen to send in assorted members of the household, in relays, down to and including children, to get TP. If there was any. One local supermarket would get a big tractor-trailer full of new stock to resupply in every morning at around 9. They’d have the new TP out by 10:30 at the latest. By noon the shelves would be bare again... l couldn’t figure out where on Earth the customers were putting it all. Some people in Jamaica had some fun, taking pics of themselves standing in front of a huge pile of TP rolls with a caption of how they were sending relief supplies to America... the same jokers have apparently got several container loads of ‘Jamaican virus killer’, possibly better known as overproof white rum, ready for shipment north.

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: "....perhaps hand sanitiser remains highly sought after in some parts of the US"

      Isn't the mid-west protected by God and therefore people don't need to worry or panic buy?

      1. RM Myers Silver badge

        Re: "....perhaps hand sanitiser remains highly sought after in some parts of the US"

        Only to the extent that you consider rust to be an act of God which protects the underlying metal. There is a reason the term "Rust Belt" has been applied to the upper mid-west..

  14. HildyJ Silver badge

    Keep in mind

    Iowa is the American heartland, not the American headland.

    1. J. Cook Silver badge

      Re: Keep in mind

      ... and Nebraska is America's cornhole.

      (with apologies to the few people in that state that aren't meth-heads, have a bicep size larger than their IQ, etc.)

  15. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    As required -

  16. Withdrawn

    "batshit-crazy suggestions that injecting disinfectant into the human body might treat COVID-19"

    I love this one. I watched that conference, saw and heard myself what was said. This has become a great litmus to find out who is framing narratives (or blindly swallowing them) versus actually reporting on what happens.

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