back to article Google search trends used to calculate floating prophylactic prices

Australian personal protective equipment company Ansell has started pricing its condoms using a value calculated by analysing Google search trends. Ansell's bread and butter is protective products for industrial and medical settings. But the company also operates "Lifestyles", a brand that makes condoms, lubricants and " …

  1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    If they underestimate their figures...

    ...they can always blame it on a major cock up.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    >Here's how: artificial searches for the relevant terms could send the STI Index sky-high and drive Lifestyles’ prices and profits low! Enough of that could see Ansell stock slide.

    However others monitoring the "STI index" would see that the sales are about to take off and the stock is worth buying.

    This does make you wonder though whether the marketers have misunderstood supply and demand ( supply stable, demand increasing: I know, lets *reduce* our prices ).

    It's just a stunt.

    1. John Robson Silver badge

      It might be a stunt - but it worked... I'd never have heard about it otherwise.

      Though my TZ probably gives away that I'm not really in the target market.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        It's definitely a stunt. Somebody in marketing has been watching Billions and thought "this is way cool".

        1. You aint sin me, roit Silver badge
          Coat

          A cunning stunt?

          That'll cause a rise in demand...

  3. eldakka Silver badge
    Coat

    The more you worry about what’s going on below the belt, the further the price drops. Now to short the market

    I'll go long ...

    1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
      Gimp

      The more you think about it

      The harder it gets...

  4. lglethal Silver badge
    Trollface

    Well I've heard of getting a leg over in the market, but well...

  5. Jedit
    Coat

    Is that what they mean by ...

    … pork futures?

    (Mine's the one with something for the weekend in the pocket.)

  6. LDS Silver badge

    Unwanted pregnancies are not considered?

    They are still another very important reason to use them- not only STDs....

  7. oiseau Silver badge
    WTF?

    Rabble

    ... actually "marketers" because the STI is a sales-stimulating stunt ...

    Ahh ...

    The ubiquitous marketing rabble, despicable abominations of nature.

    The marketing droids are always up to something, however useless just to justify their existence.

    O.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Rabble

      Hard Question Time:

      What would you prefer? An evening listening to Marketing? Or a lifetime with an STD?

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: Rabble

        That is a hard one.

        On balance STDs are treatable, marketers less so.

        What I would really like to know is just much the average bloke who has a chance of a leg over, is going to be price watching?

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Rabble

        Well, marketing can be treated but to do so is usually extremely illegal in most places and also requires violence with extreme prejudice.

        1. Snowy
          Joke

          Re: Rabble

          Could try and rehabilitate them, then they could become useful members of society rather than just being upright members?

  8. Rustbucket

    Ansell no longer sells condoms

    They sold that division to a Chinese company in 2017 to concentrate on their industrial and medical protective glove products.

  9. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Google search trends used to calculate floating prophylactic[s]

    That might actually be helpful to sewage companies to predict where the next "fatberg" might be.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's a stretch to do an article on rubber products. If the Google results didn't provide an IT angle, I'd have suspected you were hard up for news.

    Just checking that things are covered.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What's the safeword for the comments section?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020