back to article DDoS and dingoes: Australia to bolster cyber-defences with 500 hackers amid China spat

Australia will hire 500 hackers as part of a AU$1.35bn (£754m, $925m) boost to protect the nation's networks from a wave of cyber attacks. Prime Minister Scott Morrison announced this morning that the government would funnel the money from existing defence funding over the next decade to bolster the capabilities of the …

  1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
    Terminator

    Sophisticated hacker

    That can mean anything these days, from people who open a spreadsheet of reused usernames and passwords to actual proper hackers.

    I wonder which class of hacker tried to hack them?

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: Sophisticated hackers, ...assorted super-talented weirdos and misfits with odd skills?

      I wonder which class of hacker tried to hack them? ... Captain Scarlet

      Prime timely, Captain Scarlet, would extraordinarily render most all cyber defence forces both impotent and facing novel threats probably never but certainly hardly ever before encountered. And as treats which are heavenly to deploy and employ, another exciting experience to enjoy .... or do vain battle against in Centres of Virtual Command with Remote Practically Autonomous Control.

      The first and formative treat is always real good whilst the latter is always delivering content which is usually awfully bad. The fit and proper choice to make and further support there, and again and again far into the future, is surely one of those Absolute No-Brainers which most everything and everyone sees and knows? Good always trumps bad. Even the devils in hell know that as a simple irrefutable fact.

      And how, and why, would anyone/anything attack that knowing/realising defences are easily defeated and can be overwhelmingly destroyed/annihilated/obliterated?

      Would insane madness be a valid excuse and possible reason to claim in defence as a mitigating circumstance? And whenever such is the only possible truth, what is an appropriate action to ensure guaranteed prevention of a similarly mitigated circumstance/series of crazy events?

  2. iron Silver badge

    > build more partnerships between industry and government

    Until Scotty boy realises the laws of mathematics do trump the laws of Oz I don't see working out.

  3. Winkypop Silver badge

    The colt from old Regret had got away

    Better secure those systems that are already thoroughly compromised, hey Scotty!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pot to Kettle -- "It's all those OTHER bad saucepans!"

    "The federal government's top priority is protecting our nation's economy, national security and sovereignty. Malicious cyber activity undermines that," Morrison said.

    *

    And of course Five Eyes countries would NEVER, EVER engage in "malicious cyber" attacks on other countries.

    *

    Oh wait......the Cheltenham bods attacked Belgium:

    - https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/sep/21/british-spies-hacked-into-belgacom-on-ministers-orders-claims-report

    *

    And then there's the NSA attacking their own US citizens (see Snowden for details).

    *

    Yup.....really....Belgium! Must be the cyber-chocolate!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh FFS

    Let me just repeat an earlier comment.

    That you can break in somewhere doesn't imply you're the best person to defend against an attack. It means you're going to be good at testing a defence, but the skillsets are absolutely not identical.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: Oh FFS ..... MI6 Does Dallas ..... Capturing Cowboys and Captivating Cowgirls

      That you can break in somewhere doesn't imply you're the best person to defend against an attack. It means you're going to be good at testing a defence, but the skillsets are absolutely not identical. .... Anonymous Coward

      Uncommon Knowledge in SMARTR IntelAIgent Spaces, AC, and Absolutely Vital for Programming Programs Guaranteeing All with Future Successful Delivery of Incredible Novel Content for Daily Presentation ...... Stop Press Breaking News.

      Advanced IntelAIgent GCHQ Services Tempt NSA Needs, FSB Feeds and Myriad Other Alternate Seeds? The quandary and dilemma and conundrum presented as being current there, is whether it is necessarily either a Public Service or Private Enterprise for when it can be both is it something entirely quite different from everything that was freely or expensively made available before.

      And some things, and that above is most certainly one of those things, should never ever be ignored for it lands one deep into dark perils with precious few means of easy escape readily to hand ie in simple terms, it puts one in mortal danger of extreme consequences in a heady cocktail of Just Desserts and Heavenly Retribution to Stabilise Return to Yet Another True Order in Chaotic Operations Minus the Unnecessary Baggage of Dead Weights/Lost Souls in Opposition and/or Unfriendly Competition.

      And yes, that does all make perfect sense and is freely available for furthering deeper into the dark and dank shadows of putrid systems in elite exclusive executive operations.

      And just as sunlight to the vampire, not an exercise to be trifled with, given the dire permanent outcome of such follies as shun the light of day on one's activities.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Five Eyes Transcript (Double Top Secret)

    Trump: "Scotty, I need warp speed in three minutes or we're all dead......"

    Scotty: "Captain I'm giving her all shes got"

    Trump: "....but it's a threat from the Planet Mongo.....! The Belgian phasors are aimed right at Alice Springs!"

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