back to article US govt: Huawei is a national security risk and a menace, except, you know, when we need it for 5G standards work

The US Commerce Department has confirmed it will publish a rule change to its crackdown on Huawei that will allow US companies to work with the Chinese equipment maker on 5G standards. And artificial intelligence. And autonomous vehicles. The rule has already been approved, and is due to be published in the Federal Register on …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dear World, please accept our apologies.

    We shall try to vote the OHSG out come this voting session and replace him with a less bone-headed, less brain-dead, less shit-flinging, less unmitigated skidmark shitstain on society.

    Once that happens then perhaps the new POTUS can retract all the OHSGs protectionist policies, idiotic executive orders, and mind numbingly illogical rules so that you, we, and the rest of the world can get back to a less distopian, less rocky shoals and more calm waters, safer and saner way of life.

    Please accept our heartfelt, sincerest, most humble apologies for those idiots whom voted him in and please pray the rest of us can convince the idiots in the halls of power that we absulutely _do_not_want_ him in any position other than as a diseased and diarreahtec camel pen shit cleaner. (With further apologies to the camels.)

  2. HildyJ Silver badge
    FAIL

    Trade war (reelection) casualty

    January 2017 - Trump took office. Huawei was a leader in 4g technology. No security concerns were raised regarding Huawei.

    February 2018 - Huawei makes first 5g call ahead of Mobile World Congress. No security concerns were raised regarding Huawei.

    March 2018 - Trump announces tariffs on 1300 categories of Chinese goods. Completed telecommunication equipment was not included. No security concerns were raised regarding Huawei.

    July 2018 - USTR releases a 200 page list. Completed telecommunication equipment was not included. No security concerns were raised regarding Huawei.

    August 2018 - April 2019 - trade war not working out well and a new tactic is needed.

    May 2019 - Trump bans Huawei citing national security.

    Also, May 2019 -a number of polls show Trump approval dropping below 40%. Coincidence?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Trade war (reelection) casualty

      America's spy agencies lose ability to spy using Echelon when Huawei gear is installed, because the pesky Chinese refuse to build in backdoors for the US spy agencies.

      Trump declares Huawei a security threat, but gets Australia to do its dirty work by threatening to stop sharing intelligence with Australia.

      Never mind most of this intelligence is gathered from Joint Venture spy facilities in Australia, and the Navy using Darwin port in Australia.

      Trump never was very clever, but seemingly more clever than Australian politicians, who continue to kotow to Trump

  3. Sanctimonious Prick
    Angel

    Don't Laugh?

    I'd laugh right now if this wasn't so bloody serious!

    Oh, what the hell...?

    Hahahahahahahahahaf*ck1nghahahahahahaha!

  4. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?
    Trollface

    “The United States will not cede leadership in global innovation,”

    Well no of course not. You cannot cede that which you do not have.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But that seems to imply that the US will use whatever measures it thinks fit to stay on top. Presumably up to and including shooting war.

      I would say that's a bit much coming from the "world policeman" but then I've been seeing the recent videos of the US police at work.

  5. Barry Rueger

    Meanwhile in Canada

    Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou remains under house arrest while fighting a rather dubious US extradition order. Canada remains unwilling to do anything that might upset The Donald.

    CBC story here.

    Last month a Canadian court ruled that Meng 's alleged actions would have also been criminal in Canada, even though Canada is not part of the US embargo of Iran.

  6. steelpillow Silver badge
    Trollface

    The 5G standards committee

    US: OK, what you got?

    Huawei: This 5G tech miracle >slap!<

    US: Uh.... This is crap, we'll bring you ours tomorrow

    [Stage right, sound of photocopier]

    US: This is how it's done.

    H: Hey, you just photocopied ours.

    US: Hell no, this is all patented by US companies, it's all ours. You can license it if you like.

    H: Those patents are all dated after we gave you a copy!

    US: Security, we got a snake in the grass here. If they don't shut the fuck up, beat 'em senseless and throw 'em out with the garbage.

    Trump: You guys did a great job ensuring fair play with this G Whiz thing. What was that company I should buy into? Frisco, Disco, somethin'? Hey, did I just see Reagan's brain in the corner there? Can someone catch it and bring it over? Wibble...

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