back to article Travel-sick Windows needing a Systemwiederherstellung would be in Germany, right? Austria? Not necessarily

Willkommen to today's edition of Bork, The Register's glimpse at what digital signage does when it thinks nobody is looking. Snapped by an eagled-eyed Register reader aboard one of those miserable buses that transport tired travellers from airport terminal to motor vehicle rental hub, the signage looks like it might be running …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Avis is a German company

    For those that don't know, Avis is a German company so it's not that surprising that remotely supported systems are in German.

  2. big_D Silver badge

    Weihnachtsspecial

    Around the turn of the century, my brother was working as a freelance recruiter and he picked up a contract from a certain discounter/supermarket chain of German heritage (no, not the one beginning with L). They had stocked up with PCs for their UK punters and were selling them to people who were giving them as presents at Christmas time...

    Only, luckily, a few people actually wanted to try out the discount PC crapiness straight away... Only to find that there was a "Z" where the Y should be and vice-versa and things like [, ], {, } were now "unobtainable", having been replaced by ü+öä. and when the PC started it was all in German Yes. They had ordered them from the now defunct Peacock computers in Germany and the manufacturer had pallets of the things ready to ship, only they mixed up the orders and the UK got part of the shipment for their German stores.

    They were hurriedly looking for some IT bods to roam around the country on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and the through New Year, to replace the keyboards and install a more British version of Windows on the PCs. The pay was allegedly not bad, but you needed to have your own car and some of the customers lived in less salubrious areas and I didn't fancy coming out from refurbishing a PC to find my car refurbished sans wheels, windows and interior...

    1. Little Mouse

      Re: Weihnachtsspecial

      I know someone who was surprised to find that their new PC came boxed with a German keyboard, plus a sheet of stickers to cover the "wrong" keys.

  3. seven of five Silver badge

    Schoolchild giggle?

    Sorry, I don' t get it:

    What is so funny about "Vater" and "Flasche"?

    1. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Schoolchild giggle?

      Farter flasher!

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Re: Schoolchild giggle?

        Just learn a couple of easy foreign languages, you stupid monoglot.

        1. Steve K Silver badge

          Re: Schoolchild giggle?

          Just learn a couple of easy foreign languages, you stupid monoglot.

          You could be a polyglot who doesn't speak German so not sure what you are trying to prove here?

        2. antybodi
          Flame

          Re: Schoolchild giggle?

          I speak 5 language but I didn't got the joke either. Could be that you are the bottle or in German: "Du bist ein Flasche"

      2. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Schoolchild giggle?

        thanks, my yankee-doodle-braincells couldn't connect the dots

        (I sorta guesed the 'Vater' -> 'Farter' one, but the other was like "whut?")

        (and now for something completely different - the "killer joke" and that one guy with the paragraph-long name)

    2. KarMann Bronze badge
      WTF?

      Re: Schoolchild giggle?

      I'm assuming Darth Vader, and either Flash Gordon or flashing.

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        Re: Schoolchild giggle?

        Some monoglot not understanding easy foreign languages.

        1. Little Mouse

          Re: Schoolchild giggle?

          Don't tell anyone I told you, but I suspect seven of five might actually understand those words, despite claiming otherwise....

          1. seven of five Silver badge

            Re: Schoolchild giggle?

            I meant to say I did not get the joke. Thought i did.

        2. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Schoolchild giggle?

          "Vater" and "farter" are actually shockingly close. I didn't even realize until a British guy asked me how Germans pronounce "Vater" (of course he knew). After I spoke it loudly three times he said "Ah, I understand! Just like ..." and let one rip that stunk up the room beyond what should be humanly possible.

          "Flasche" (pronunced like "flush-e") and "flasher"? Not convinced.

          Anyway, Friday activity is calling ------->

          1. David 132 Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Schoolchild giggle?

            Well, if anyone ever tells you German is not a sinister language, please accept this Gift from me...

            1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
              Pirate

              Re: Schoolchild giggle?

              Thank you verrrry much.

              1. This post has been deleted by its author

            2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

              Re: Schoolchild giggle?

              Compound nouns and homophones are the least of the problems. I still struggle with the unholy trilogy of preposition + case + gender! Most languages have either preposition or case but the Jormans do like to make it difficult for themselves, which explains why so many of them struggle with the genitive!

            3. KarMann Bronze badge
              Pirate

              Re: Schoolchild giggle?

              Iocaine powder, I assume?

          2. Charlie Clark Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Schoolchild giggle?

            "Flasche" (pronunced like "flush-e")

            Nope, the short English "a" is very similar to the German "a" and nothing like a "u". This, along with treating "a"s as "e"s leads to all kind of confusion. For Germans Microsoft's shitty desktop database is Microsoft Excess and for which you may an "apdate"… I think there's a conspiracy amongst English teachers to teach them embarassing pronunciation. The justification is always "that's how the Americans say it" – which of course they don't.

            But when it comes to the parents, it's safe to adopt the Biffa Bacon pronunciation: Fatha and Mutha (or Mudda). The stress on the first syllable keeps the vowel shorther than the English.

            Oh, feck it, time for a beer. Wassail!

  4. jonha

    You ain't seen nothing yet...

    How about "Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz" to befuddle us? Yep, that's an actual German word in (rare, I hope and assume) use.

    1. MiguelC Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

      The Beef Labeling Supervision Task Transfer Act is an important piece of legislation, not a laughing matter, young man.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

        But obsolete for years since the EU passed a law stopping cattle testing in abattoirs.

        1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

          Source needed, cattle is still being tested in abattoirs here in the Netherlands (and also in Germany), probably something to do with trade agreements between the UK and the USA since the Brexit.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

            Source needed

            Repealed in 2013: BBC and wikipedia

    2. Hubert Cumberdale

      Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

      Weird... I just put that into the Microsoft Translator app and told it to pronounce it. It actually seems to get stuck and repeat several parts of the word several times, meaning the full (alleged) pronunciation takes over twelve seconds. Tried it on two machines with the same result. It also seems to happen in the Bing Translator. Try it for yourself – quite amusing.

    3. Roger Kynaston Bronze badge

      Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

      They seem to make a habit of concatenating words to make unfeasably long multi syllabic ones.

      beef labeling regulation & delegation of supervision law

      1. onemark03

        Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

        Not quite:

        Beef Labelling regulation & Delegation of Supervision Act

      2. Joe W Silver badge

        Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

        Norwegian is worse. Really.

        There's also the funny sentence "det er ikke farten som dreper deg, det er smellen" that was allegedly translated as "it's not the fart that kills you, it's the smell"....

    4. David 132 Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

      Honestly, I'm just surprised no-one has brought up the subject of Danube steamboat captains and their administrative arrangements yet.

      Allow me:

      "Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft"

      Beer, because Friday, Germany, and sunshine.

    5. The Nazz Silver badge

      Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

      It'a not that rare, it was in yesterday's general knowledge crossword puzzle.

      1,4,8,12,16, 20,22,24,27 and 31 across.

      1. David 132 Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: You ain't seen nothing yet...

        How could I forget that? The one and only time the Telegraph has had to be printed in Super-Ultrawide 32:9 aspect ratio a.k.a. "broadestsheet" and required Inspector Gadget-like extending arms to hold it open...

  5. The Nazz Silver badge

    Or learn simple words from a complicated language.

    Romanian word = english translation.

    Precum = such as.

    Cum = How

    The former i learned from my new cycle instruction manual, these days a CD with some 50 languages installed. Fat load of use that's gonna be when i have a problem 40 miles from home.

  6. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

    According to Mark Twain

    Life is too short to learn German

  7. martinusher Silver badge

    Elderly?

    An embedded system just needs to work. It doesn't need to be -- and shouldn't be -- updated every five minutes.

    Windows is a relatively easy GUI to develop for so a lot of people have built systems on top of it. Some such as those who develop industrial control and monitoring systems, have come to regret this but they tend to get stuck with it because Corporate uses it on their desktop and so they mandate it company-wide.

    There's no guarantee that a modern version of Windows 10 will be any more reliable than a copy of Windows 7, especially if its not connected directly to the Internet where the various vulnerabilities of this system are open to exploitation.

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Elderly?

      " It doesn't need to be -- and shouldn't be -- updated every five minutes."

      Shhh... don't tell Micros~1. They might crack...

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