Getting fucked for a lot of money is her thing.
A £339 "anti-5G" product billed as the "first to market full-spectrum protection" appears to be nothing more than a bog-standard £5 USB stick with an LED on the end, according to Pen Test Partners. The "quantum" USB stick, branded as the "5GBioShield", is a "proprietary holographic nano-layer catalyst technology" and a " …
That aluminium foil hats will block their remote-control radio signals is a myth perpetrated by the CIA!
If you measure your head from temple to temple you'll find that the distance fits quite nicely in the 'L Band' of the Microwave spectrum. and that's set aside for among other things 'military use'...
Tinfoil hats are in effect Microwave resonance chambers!
They're planning to kill off everyone who distrusts the governments all in one go!
I'd like to announce the launch of my ultra-reliable shark repellant, having successfully trialled it for over a year without having suffered a single attack. It is available in a conveniently sized can at the bargain basement price of £50 (three for £100) and comes with a cast iron money back guarantee - if you're killed by a shark whilst using this product, I'll refund you in full - just apply in person.
I'm also in the final phase of testing on my Elephant Repellant (although this won't be available in Africa or India).
As P. T. Barnum allegedly said: there are plenty being born.
The website is quite "fun", eg. this "testimonial":
I plugged the BioShield Key in at work and it seems to clear the energy of the place around my desk.
One minute and a half after I plugged it, I felt something wrong disappeared in the air.
The people I work with, seems to be more happy and they laugh more. The ambiance is more serene.
Well it always amusing when someone demonstrates how much of a muppet they are.
I got given tickets to some Ideal Home Show type show years ago. Whilst there I found a more senior colleague from another department having a drink. He wasn't staying long but had to go back to a particular stand before he left. The stand he tells me has a device for limiting the amount of radiation that he was exposed to. He used his phone a lot and was worried about the energy it was exposing him to. I was curious to know what this was and walked over with him. I was expecting to see a cover closely fitting his phone made of a metallic substance. What I actually saw was a sticker that wasn't much larger than a current 5p piece and about as thick. I doubt that it cost much more than that to make either, they were selling them for a 'very reasonable' £5 each. Special show offer was £10 for three - utter bargain you understand.
So I asked how it works and I was told it absorbs some of the radiation the phone produces. Doesn't that affect the ability to use the phone? Would that not reduce the signal reaching the mobile phone mast? It's not that radiation that it reduces is the reply - "it's technical you understand" So as a joke I said is it the visible radiation that is reduced? “Yes that's it exactly, you're smarter than you look." I tried educating my colleague that his top of the range Nokia wouldn't be affected by this sticker. I said these things were a rip off using a headset would work better and visible radiation was just light. I was told to stop with the negative energy and he then went and bought £40 worth. Offered me one before leaving which I declined saying that it wasn't compatible with my model. I would like £5 if he was offering though.
I remember seeing little, metallic, stick-on grille things for cell phones that were marketed as a way to prevent the radiation from entering through the ear canal during phone calls and causing brain tumors.
Thing is, according to the research on the subject, cell phone frequencies don't cause cancer or brain tumors... They cause cataracts, but only at significantly higher power levels than are commonly used in phones.
Considering that people with 5G sickness, Wi-Fi sickness, and the like are psychosomatic, the people just need to believe something is protecting them and they will be cured. I guaranteed you if I sold a rock from a local river and said it had special magnetic properties that negates all wireless radiation, these same people would buy it and swear to you that it really works.
They beat you to it. There is a huge supply chain out there selling "magic rocks" from £30 and upwards each, while claiming they'll cure everything from full blown aids to poltergeist. They are unsurprisingly indistinguishable from the contents of bags of large quartz gravel you'd normally find in any garden center or DIY store at around £15 for a 20lb bag.
Almost. You have to remember that people with these vague but interesting conditions don;t actually want to be cured, because their lives are much more interesting that way. Just look at the reaction of people "with" ME/CFS when it's pointed out that therapy has a huge success rate. The ideal treatment can be claimed to stop things getting worse, but not actually make them better.
It is not a USB stick, it is a new form of hologram, similar to the ones on the Holodeck. It only takes the form of a USB stick with a unique sticker for the convenience of shipping and storing its manual. Its quantum nature allows it to be touched, manipulated and to imitate even the function of a very small capacity USB stick. Having investigated this, I'm ordering ten in order to protect my entire hosing project.
I first saw this story on the BBC web-site this afternoon where, as reported, a member of the Glastonbury Council claimed it was a great device and that he had felt much more relaxed since he had acquired one.
This led me to check a 5G availability map or the UK and I don't see any 5G in the Glastonbury area.
Matter over mind ?
Not quite - this is a much bigger story about 5G and Glastonbury.
I don't believe the person who reported the effects of this device was a member of the council. What happened was the Council decided to set up a "5G advisory Committee" into the effects of 5G to inform their planning consent decisions. This committee was highly influenced by a conspiracy theorist (non-council) from outside the area who invited a number of other overly suggestible sorts who had their own theories from their own extensive social media research to sti on the committee and others to present their side of the argument.
The members of that inquiry who might be classed as being more well informed and looking at it from a scientific approach (as part of the impartiality of the inquiry) were cut down and told they couldn't be dismissive of the claims (evidence???) of the more outlandish ideas. This led to the people who actually know something about this from a fact based perspective resigning, leaving a report to be written by the slightly less grounded in reality quarter - giving equal weight to both sides and therefore in favour of maintaining a risk approach grounded in bunkum.
On a balance of risk with no actual critical thinking this led to a report that has led the town council to
> write to MPs asking them to establish an inquiry into the safety of 5G;
>calling for the UK Government and Public Health England to undertake an independent scientific study into:
>>The non-thermal effects of 5G, and
and lobbying the International Commission on Non-Ionizing Radiation Protection (ICNIRP) to take into account the non-thermal effects of radiofrequency EMFs in their Guidelines on Limiting Exposure to Electromagnetic Fields.
Worryingly they have also, apparently, had a number of requests from other councils and local authorities asking for copies of the report. Hopefully this is for amusement purposes rather than to affect decision making in any way. I mean Glastonbury town council, you can kind of expect this but for others to perhaps take it seriously would be extremely worrying.
The word is "gullible" so quite understandable neither can spell "gulliable", given that "gulliable" only appears in the Urban Dictionary...
adj. A failed attempt at gullible, which only servers to show the speaker's idiocy and failure to comprehend the complexities of the English language.
A: Did you know gulliable isn't in the dictionary?
S: It's not.
A: Yeah it is! Haha got you!
S: No, gullible is. You are just fucking stupid.
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correction: a fiver buys you, AD 2020, a 16GB usb key. 128MB is something I haven't seen for... I dunno, 20 years? Presumably, to have such low capacity usb lovingly hand-crafted and hand-delivered straight from the Red Kingdom of China fully justifies what is, after all, just a fair market price for the ultimate protection for you and your family! And all this (...) before we even scratch the surface of its unsurpassed nano-bubble-shielding-capabilities!
Wow, I missed that. My eyes just skimmed and saw 128GB, because at this price, why wouldn't it be? Well, I suppose it's one way to get rid of 128MB sticks that no sane person would buy.
(A relative of a friend is into this nonsense. Not the specific 5G covid stuff, but the general "5G malaise", and I'm sure would argue it weakens the immune system too for the tie-in. The usual line is, "I want to see evidence it doesn't cause harm." A mathematics PhD, not sciences obviously, somewhat disappointing.)
So, as a quantum expert I am convinced this must be a viable working product.
How else could a device operate at exactly a diameter of exactly 8 or 40 metres?
That has to be quantum weirdness in action at 2 very specific distances.
It's a shame Paul Dirac isn't around any longer, I'm sure he could have advanced his theories considerably by examining this device.
Maybe Einstein could then have built on the the work and explained it to us all.
What a fucking world we live in, how have we gone backwards this far this fast.
This must be a violation of the Second law of thermodynamics.
I'll stop now...
I have developed a 5G prophylactic suppository, Only one application is necessary to protect you from the adverse effects of 5G for life!
Get one for each member of your family, the more you buy the greater the discount! Only €250.00 per insert!! Two for €450.00! Three for €400.00!
Note: Do not evacuate for at least 48Hrs after insertion or before the insertion has dissolved or you will lose your warranty rights.
Pawing through my junk drawer, I found a 256mb USB drive with a paper label. It's presumably kept me safe from 5G or any other usable form of high speed data connection for decades. And, yes, it seems to have an LED on the circuit board. In all likelihood it'll continue to keep me safe for decades into the future. (Welcome to rural America)
They are still being sold
We think trading standards bodies should investigate this product.
I reported this to them this morning. They recommended that I additionally reporteit to Action Fraud, so I did that too.
The people behind the website may or may not be within UK jurisdiction but I'm offended that members of the public are being targeted by this. I am now at least mollified that two different bodies with appropriate legal powers are able to investigate and take any needed action.
(Wording carefully chosen to help El Reg avoid a defamation suit)
Unless you've been there it is almost impossible to comprehend just how weird Glastonbury is. There are basically two major factions: the trustafarians and the leeches. The trustafarians don't work for a living, don't need to work for a living and all have vague and self-indulgent conditions: food "sensitivities", electromagnetic "hypersensitivity", CFS, that sort of thing. The leeches spout much the same rubbish but are in it for the money, selling the trustafarians chunks of quartz at fifty quid a time to realign their chakras. A minor third group are the teenage ex public-school girls with eating disorders who turn up to find themselves; instead they get patronised by the trustafarians and sexually exploited by the leeches, who they think love them for their auras.
There are a few locals, who drink at the Rifleman's and display a degree of inbreeding and consequent chromosome damage which makes rural Norfolk look like an advert for hybrid vigour.
Overall a loathsome place, but the bakery ("Burns the Bread") is pretty good.
There's one of my daughters nappies from 2006 still in it's plastic bag beside the A361 after a faecal evacuation no 8-month old should be capable of. I really didn't want to fly-tip but it stank so badly, even through two layers of polythene, I simply couldn't drive with it in the car.
I appreciate such behaviour may not look good, but I was doing what any responsible parent would do. And I was checking my eyesight.
there are a few places around like glasto. I'm down in Cornwall and we have Falmouth but the home of weirdness in this part of the World has to be Totnes in Devon, full of crystal shops and kids walking around with measles. Anyone that's a bit odd in these parts is known to be a bit Totnes or a bit TQ9 (Totnes postcode area)
What they should do is buy the devices, and then hide them around the towers - thus rendering the towers useless! If the tower gets burnt down, they would get replaced, but my way if they've hidden the sub well enough will create a black spot! Remember, it doesn't need to be powered on to work!
PS I'm being sarcastic here!
Hopefully the USB contains a 127Mb WAV file containing a long sales presentation on the benefits of it and how best to deploy it, followed by the sound of the presenters laughing hysterically at the idea that anyone would be stupid enough to buy one and concluding with a monologue on the stupidity of man that ends with a nice wet fart. :-)
They have a product description on their website:
It has gems like
"Current studies demonstrate service life as long as the unit is not damaged or defaced."
"No overdose or adverse effects are possible in the presence, even for a long period of time, of the USB Key".
No possible overdose because it bloody well doesn't do anything!
Just "overdose" on its own is quite ambiguous. If someone were gullible enough to believe the rest of the sales pitch for this they might well believe it would protect them against overdose of some drug and try to benefit from that. I wonder what 3rd party liability insurance they have.
"Testimonials" is also worth a peek. Totally not written by just one person, honest!
Read the one from "~Cathy" for gems like "Virtually as soon as I plugged it into my laptop I felt an overwhelming sense of an emanating higher consciousness. Tears ran down my face, not from sadness or distress, they just started to flow"
> Tears ran down my face ... they just started to flow
Onions, luv. Someone was peeling onions.
Actually, I can see where someone might pay shedloads for an obsolete bit of electronics loaded with pathological lies, and tears would begin to run down their face. Entirely predictable.
My Star Wars PSP would be worth a lot if it was still in the box and never opened, so yes I know.
But part of the value is that is a second gen PSP that's super easy to hack.
However with the new hacking methods revealed last year you can hack ANY PSP model so is kinda pointless.
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I have an old 128mB stick, complete with a a paper sticker on it. I was keeping it to show future generations what the first generation of USB sticks was like. I think it cost £30 or something back in the day. And it could replace 100 floppy discs (3.5inch type, not 8 inch)
Now i realise it's has been shielding me from 2G, 3G and 4G for 20 years. That's why EE and Vodafone have such a crap signal in my house!
What a revelation! If I chuck it in the recycling next week, my phone coverage will be brilliant.
The sales blurb references a dreadful scientific paper claiming that pi = sqrt(10) in some sort of attempt to appear legitimate.
If these things were done in the name of satire or poking holes in the the processes used to review scientific journals I'm maybe understand. But the author's history appears to be a long string of utter dross.
I've advocated on various social media that someone should DDOS these guys. Cyber-vigilantism because consumer standards organisations are toothless tigers. Consumer law concerning mis-selling is obviously applicable; but that only cleans up after the event. Remember those supermarket security tags slapped inside a plastic pole and sold to the Iraqi's as bomb detectors?
Sure, they got the bugger behind it in the end, but it took years to clamp down.
Am I the only one gutted not to have thought of this first? Admittedly I would have pitched it at around £70 as £300 feels like its way beyond the point of maximising revenue, and I would have soldered a few random components on there to throw people off the trail...
Ethics - I've heard of them.
In addition to being the major shareholder in Bioshield, Anna Grochowalska is also the major shareholder in another British company (albeit, under her full name, Anna Krystyna Grochowalska): Immortalis Distribution Ltd. Their website, immortal.is, touts some anti-aging product, which looks about as reliable as the bioshield.
BioShield Distribution Ltd was incorporated in January 2020 . Both directors list their correspondence address as 7 Albion Parade, London, England, N16 9LD, which was a rather unprepossessing newsagents emporium in Stoke Newington, that's been shuttered every time the Google Street View car has been past in the last dozen years.
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So far, there is NO evidence that 5G can fry your baby's head. HOWEVER! The reason there is no evidence is because ALL the testing so far has been preliminary, mainly on rodents, not humans, not human baby's heads. IOW: No adequate research so far.
This leaves the possibility of 5G damage to human tissues wide open. I've ridiculously had to explain this to tech journalists I once thought were 'professionals', with references to existing, verified studies that prove cancer can and does happen in mice under specific test situations. That's a fact. Don't let ignorant people tell you otherwise. If you want the pile of reference links, it will be my pleasure. Just ask in a reply, nicely.
But any effects of 5G radiation are going to vary according to the usual FOUR FACTORS:
1) The type of radiation being emitted, specifically its wavelength or frequency. This is variable with 5G as there is no single standard wavelength used.
2) The amplitude of the radiation, akin to the volume or amount of radiation that reaches the subject of concern.
3) The length of time of exposure.
4) The sensitifity of the subject tissue to a specific type of radiation.
It may turn out that 5G radiation is as innocuous as the radio waves we've had traveling around and through us for over a century! OR, under certain circumstances, 5G may actually fry your baby's head. We still don't know.
The single best thing anyone can do is INSIST to their government that TESTING be done NOW. (Sound familiar?) Otherwise, the politicos will ignore the subject while the technical ignorami ignore science and chatter on about mere rumors.
Troll or for real?
1. The type of radiation being emitted
There is no 'real' type, it's all electromagnetic radiation (EMR). Unless you simply mean things like radio, infrared, visible light, which could be seen as sub-categories of EMR.
specifically its wavelength or frequency
All this changes is the sub-categories the EM radiation falls into, e.g. radio, visible light, x-rays etc. Or if looking specifically at radio, the bands it falls into, but in those cases, that's just an agreed convention (i.e. long wave etc).
The only other major differentiation related to frequency is if the EMR is Ionising or not, i.e. contains enough energy to actually harm biological cells in plants and animals. You need to be at ultraviolet or above for that to be the case, anything from visible light or below, which includes all radio frequencies, just doesn't contain enough energy to do any direct cell damage.
...This is variable with 5G as there is no single standard wavelength used.
Nope, fixed and well defined frequencies that are part of the standard. There are many frequencies in use, but they are all defined and agreed. This has to be the case, as the phones and masts have to be using the same frequencies otherwise they wouldn't work.
2. The amplitude of the radiation, akin to the volume or amount of radiation that reaches the subject of concern.
Which is absolutely tiny for 5G, or any modern phone related radio signals (and just radio in general). Major breakthroughs here over the years has been improving the sensitivity in the receivers, thus allowing signal strengths to be reduced. Plus dynamically changing the strength of the transmissions, to be just enough to work for that connection.
3. The length of time of exposure.
True, but irrelevant for 5G or any radio signals, as there isn't enough energy to cause cell damage in the first place.
4. The sensitifity [sic] of the subject tissue to a specific type of radiation.
All well researched, documented and understood. i.e. Radio/5G is not harmful.
It may turn out that 5G radiation is as innocuous as the radio waves we've had traveling around and through us for over a century
There is no such thing as 5G radiation!
5G is just a new standard covering how we modulate a signal on a radio carrying frequency, and defining what frequencies to use for that standard. The same thing we've been doing since we discovered radio in the first place, just more advanced.
Just to be clear, all radio frequencies already exist, we can't create new ones, all we can do is use the ones nature provided, and use them more efficiently.
Whether that frequency is carrying 5G, 4G or some other radio standard, is irrelevant, it's still the same radio frequency, irrespective of the modulation standard being followed. (For frequency modulation, this would actually be a small band, with an upper and lower frequency limit around a defined central frequency).
Much of the spectrum (i.e. frequency) being used by 5G has been in use for many years, some of it currently in use by 4G for example, some of it was used for old analogue TV transmissions, which were far stronger signals than 5G.
Also 5G has many updates to improve things like power usage, for example 5G can focus the signal on a specific device (think of it like shining a torch from a tower to one spot where the phone is), this can be done for hundreds (or thousands depending on tower size) of devices connected to each cell tower, this means less radio just being blasted out in any direction, reducing overall power needs etc.
If EM sensitivity was a real thing (which it isn't imho) then 5G, and the overall migration to modern more efficient digital transmissions, would most likely help those people, as 5G is much less wasteful than older techs that use some of the same frequencies, like 4G and and analogue TV transmissions, etc.
"The only other major differentiation related to frequency is if the EMR is Ionising or not, i.e. contains enough energy to actually harm biological cells in plants and animals. You need to be at ultraviolet or above for that to be the case, anything from visible light or below, which includes all radio frequencies, just doesn't contain enough energy to do any direct cell damage."
Please be a little more careful about saying such things. If you were indeed completely correct, my microwave oven wouldn't be worth anything.
Ah, yes, true enough, I was just thinking along the lines of direct cell damage, rather than imparting energy. Plus hopefully you'd notice if you were being cooked!
Also worth mentioning that some studies do show things like cell DNA damage from radio, but this was basically being strapped directly to a transmitter 24/7 at full power, and even then the conclusion was it still wouldn't be enough to cause any health issues in people. Plus using a headset, or using the phone hands-free negated this completely anyway.
Well of course it doesn't do anything.
The only way to disrupt 5G signals aka incoming electromagnetic radiation would be to sit in a faraday cage or jam the signals. It's obviously not a faraday cage, and jamming the signals would be done by transmitting on the same frequency with more power which is a bit loopy if you were worried about 5G signals.
Then just break down what this thing is claiming. "proprietary holographic nano-layer catalyst technology"
proprietary = We won't tell you how it works because it's a commercial secret that we don't want anybody else to copy, but it does work, trust us! One normally expects some level of objective proof it does something.
Holographic = playing with laser light to create 3d holograms.
nano-layer = very, very thin layer
catalyst = accelerates a chemical reaction
So it's claiming to be a commercially secret hologram generator that works because of a thin layer that is accelerating a chemical reaction. Which then works to project a forcefield that totally prevents any electromagnetic radiation or biohazard from entering. Ignoring the fact that nobody can generate a forcefield at the moment and sticking to their own brand of science, if it's a chemical reaction that generated a forcefield then wouldn't you need to keep topping it up with chemicals to maintain your forcefield?
Even if you believed it's claims it's still meaningless drivel relying on using words too big and complex for quasi intellectual idiots who have a superiority complex (we know better than specialists in their fields!) to understand. Science fiction or fantasy writers would cringe at those sort of sentences as they at least usually contrive to be vaguely plausible within their own universes.
Given the Quantum Uncertainty Principle and Superstring Theory, every possible state of matter exists in a space-time continuum somewhere. Which means, in layman's term, that somewhere (somewhen) there is (was, will be) a universe where this does exactly what it says on the tin. And if it works in one stringstate then it can work in others, so proving it does work - for a given value of "work" ([quantum field/protection from 5g/biosphere] or [money/fool/separation], your choice)
This reminds me of the height of the flip-phone days, when television was saturated with ads for a device that would shield your brain from the evil mind melting radiation your phone was beaming directly into your skull, improve your reception and even extend your battery life. All for just the low, low price of $24.99!
Said device was just a tiny mesh sticker you put over the earpiece, and shockingly enough it didn't really do anything at all.
Googling the "resident professor" attached to the project yields a fairly insane website that I'm not going to dignify with a link. Also because it's physically painful to read.
There he's also selling the "Tesla Radiation Balancer" (a sticker with a picture of Nikola on it) that protects you from the likes of microwaves, radios, wifi routers, and mobile phones, which were actually designed to give you cancer.
He also has a whole spiel about his research work, which appears to involve crystals, dodecahedrons, and a new "energy unit" that responds to love and thoughts.
Oh, and he also developed the only safe nuclear waste management system.
He makes Timecube look almost sane.
3x 5GBioShield USB Key
via Flat rate
Direct bank transfer
(includes £1,473,894,851,489,393,278,976.00 VAT)
Is anyone here NOT surprised that some council thicko(s) thought this thing was the real deal?
I am disgusted that these morons think they govern me. These low IQ cunts need to go, it’s fucking embarrassing, how the fuck did they manage to wrangle their way into local government, in any capacity, or is this the level of retardedness we can expect from these brainlets?
I wouldn't say it's related to low IQ per se. The issue frankly is that anybody with any technical or scientific ability tends to go and get a fairly well paying job, or runs their own business using that ability.
People running for politics etc need the ability to persuade people that they are right, which is usually done by a strong belief in something as somebody with righteous self belief can be fairly persuasive.
Of course, the more you understand, the more you understand that you don't understand. Not understanding the whole illusive superiority/dunning kruger effect thing somebody utterly ignorant about everything is therefore the ideal politician as they read the first page of a summary and decide that they are the universes ultimate expert on the subject, and confidence is persuasive.
Hence you get fairly persuasive morons in soft occupations like politics and broadcast media.
For a cheaper price (£250), you can buy my device, which has a *red* sticker. It is superior because it uses quantum blockchain entanglement that maintains full biodiversity at the terahertz level, thus protecting against pathogens such as covid-19 and the common cold. If you are a female under the age of 30, I will require a photograph of your full body (without clothing) in order to properly calibrate the device.
In the days of yore before the Glastonbury festival site, was illuminated to the point it’s now visible from space, we used to camp under the 400 kV power line that dissects the site.
This was so we could setup our location beacon. It consisted of a twenty foot metal pole, with an eight foot fluorescent tube fixed in the end. The end terminals of the fluorescent tube, in the pole, were connected to the pole, to make a connection to ground when erected.
The voltage gradient at approximately 3000 volts/foot was more than sufficient to cause the fluorescent tube to strike and illuminate, thereby giving guidance to our much the worst for wear body’s, at the end of the day, to the comfort of our camp site and its, now in the new enlightenment era banded, camp fire, roasted spuds, cheesy beans, local scrumpy cider and shots of whiskey!!!
Happy and carefree with nary a care in the world, least of all about electromagnetic waves!! But then my *cough* mobile phone came in a briefcase with a wire to connect the handset, weighed in at over 2kg, had no reception on site and was therefore left in the transit van...
Does it also keep away those little two-faced pests, the orange trumps? The whole world seems to be afflicted with them, one way or another, and they appear to be more contagious than Coronavirus, with some very nasty side-effects. It would save setting traps for the little blighters as, personally, I am fed up with the bleating noises they make in the wild and the peculiar noises that pass for communication.
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