back to article Equifax finally coughs up the money for its 2017 monster hack… to the banks for having to cancel your cards

Equifax has finally agreed to pay compensation for the massive security breach it suffered in 2017 that led to the theft of at least 146 million people's personal info. But before you get excited, the money won’t be going to you, but rather to your bank, which will be paid for the hassle of having to cancel your payment cards …

  1. jospanner Bronze badge

    This is both utterly pathetic and completely predictable.

    You thought the finance industry and its hangers-on was going to give actual money to actual people? lol

    1. MrMerrymaker

      The sheer obviousness of what would happen shouldn't lesson the disgust, IMO.

      But yeah, this was always on the cards.

      1. NoneSuch Silver badge
        Devil

        At least the lawyers and banks are taken care of.

        I do worry about them with just a few hundred billion to scrape by on.

        Maybe we should have a whip round...?

    2. vtcodger Silver badge

      To the barricades

      You ... pull that ATM over here. You .. yeah you ... park that Uber van on top of the ATM. Kids -- get out there and add every Network Interface Connector and router you can find and put them on the pile. Now ... the torch

      Boy, look at those cops run. They know whats good for them. You two take those police cars and round up some regulators and financial execs. We're gonna put them to work cleaning the sewers with a toothbrush.

      A flag? Great. Stand next to the bonfire and wave it. Ignore the damn teargas and the rubber bullets. Show some brass ...

      Now, everybody ... On three ... One ... Two ... Three

      "Do you hear the people sing?

      Singing a song of angry men?

      It is the music of a people

      Who will not be slaves again"

      ...

      OK, OK -- not gonna happen. But I can dream can't I?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Ah, Register, you optimistic fools you....

    I find your continued belief that the financial industry exists to get money to consumers in a time of crisis, and not the other way around, quite charming. In a hopelessly niave and idealistic sense, of course.

    1. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

      Re: Ah, Register, you optimistic fools you....

      Yes it's quite a quaint and charming rose-tinted view of the world isn't it to assume that the whole US Financial services industry is set up to do anything other than serve it's so called customers.

      The US Financial sector is as blatantly rotten to the core as is its Legal and Political systems.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Don't worry

    The lawyers will get paid.

    1. anonymousI

      Re: Don't worry

      And, as usual, their "fees, emoluments and disbursements" will neatly match the money pot.

  4. hoola Silver badge

    Business as usual

    It does not appear to matter how bad the breach is, what is breached and how many are affected, ultimate those responsible just carry on as normal. The companies responsible just wheedle there way out of everything and the regulator continue the charade and connive with them to ensure that the fines and compensation are derisory.

    The problem is that so much has been breached now that it is become pretty much impossible to guarantee that your personal information is safe.

    1. Mike 137 Silver badge

      Re: Business as usual

      This is also a key reason why infosec has got worse rather than better over the last 30-odd years. All the losses are either externalities (the customers') or effectively coffee money for giant corporations. As far as I know, DigiNotar is the only company that actually went out of business as a result of a data breach, and that was because it was a subsidiary to a holding company that shut it down just to avoid embarrassment.

      Another key reason (although not in the case of Equifax, where we don't have a choice) is that despite the breaches, "we" the public go on using the services (e.g. Yahoo, Facebook) so quite a bit of the problem is actually down to us as well.

    2. Andy Tunnah

      Re: Business as usual

      Why wouldn't they carry on as normal ? Not like they have any incentive to do otherwise. It's a joke. A horrible, rotten, soul crushing joke, the way US regulates its industries.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    so, to sum it up

    from start to finish the saga is a great incentive to imitate equifucks approach to "their" loss, from the beginning, i.e. failure to protect data, to the very end, i.e. repay the victims (not).

    But hey, we're talking here about some ueber-dodgy, gold-pistol waving 5th world African dictatorship, right?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For those that feel aggrieved

    You can OFC refuse to deal with anyone who passes your information to these "credit agencies", don't fill out any forms until they have signed off on not passing your data to third parties.

    I had a fun time in the UK finding a bank or building society that would not pass my daughters details on but they do exist

    In my case it was Nationwide Building Society, the others I checked insisted that accounts even without an ability to create debt would still require passing info to these leeches, I presume because the bank got a kick back at their customers expense.

    So my advice is to stop agreeing to financial institutions selling your data, if everyone stopped using credit then the effect would be to make every service and commodity that remained cheaper and more focused upon the people who make their existence possible.

    Remember without your business the banks/building societies cannot operate, given that the vast majority of their wealth comes from borrowing off Peter to loan to Paul. If Peter sleeps on his wealth instead of giving it to the banks then where does the money to lend Paul come from? they might have stored wealth but it is not enough to continue operations as they are today.

    For too long you have given the banks the impression that Peter is going to sit still for any abuse they can think of, perhaps the time is right to put them back in their place.

    You can lobby your representatives if you like but since most have been fettered by these leeches then it is going to take a very long time to turn it around if you do not do it yourself.

    1. Santa from Exeter

      Re: For those that feel aggrieved

      Good luck getting that Mortgage then. Or do you like being ripped off by dodgy Landlords?

  7. EnviableOne

    Credit reference Agencies

    The Facebook and Google of the 20th century

    Same data lust, just not the digital scope....

    BTW how much have Equifax registered as profit since....

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    class action

    So it appears that the next step will (eventually) be a class action lawsuit. That will drag on for a few years, and then customers will eventually get their checks. for $1.25 each.

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: class action

      ...then customers will eventually get their checks...

      Maybe, or maybe not; Equifax had details and were selling information on virtually everyone in the US and substantial numbers in the EU, but they are saying that only a few people were hacked, they got to choose whose names were on the list and as a result, even though they completely screwed up, nobody was punished and they are still making a nice profit.

  9. StuntMisanthrope

    malebolge.com

    And I'm being generous. A made up number backed by fraud, writ large and complicit. #rico

  10. Kev99 Silver badge

    This is normal. No matter the settlement, the lawyers grab up to 75% of the take with another 20% taken by the courts as fees. In a fair and equitable settlement, the defendants would be liable for all fees, costs and expenses in addition to the amount of any settlement. In the case of Equifax, they should be coughing up the $700 Million for you me and guy behind the tree, PLUS the attorney fees based on actual hours and not 30%-40% of the settlement PLUS court costs PLUS itemized and substantiated litigation related expenses.

    Like the ABA is ever going to allow that to happen.

  11. jason_derp

    "...so it’s perhaps surprising that not a cent appears to been given to the people directly impacted by the cyber-break-in."

    Only to tribal Amazonian abductees who just learned about America. Otherwise, barely approaches the banality of a middle-eastern human rights violation. *yawn* What's next on today's docket of horrors?

  12. Mr. A. N. Onymous

    I am now battered and weary by the number of credit monitoring services these assholes send my way when they can't keep their digital gate properly locked.

    At this point, I am now bloodthirsty. CEO? He should be guillotined. Board members lose a hand to the executioner. Fuck em.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    These type of agencies should have been closed down when GDPR came into effect. There is no reason they should hold such vast amounts of data on individuals in a proven insecure manner and not give the end user any choice over it.

    The principle of not allowing someone to run up bad debts all over the place is understandable but there is other ways this could be done securely and without commercial companies involved. The dire consequences for some by not being allowed into the regular banking system if you were to refuse your details being held with a credit reference agency, means there is no realistic option to not agree to your data being passed to these agencies.

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