back to article Driveway karaoke singer who wanted to lift lockdown spirits cops council noise complaint

We've seen it countless times on the news during the lockdown coverage – Brits getting happy-clappy for our beleaguered National Health Service once a week among other forms of forced fun for the cameras. As the days grow warmer, people are holding aerobics and Champagne parties in the street (all conscientiously taking place …

  1. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge


    I suppose this will put a stop to my Der Ring des Nibelungen sidewalk performance.

    1. 2+2=5 Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Damn!

      > I suppose this will put a stop to my Der Ring des Nibelungen sidewalk performance.

      The Government has said that you're allowed to cycle.

      [Icon: so nearly a Valkyrie]

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Damn!

      I genuinely don't think it will take that long to create a vaccine and this will all be over.

    3. Marketing Hack Silver badge

      Re: Damn!

      Perhaps a version of the Ring Cycle that is a little more relatable to modern audiences?

      1. Mongrel

        Re: Damn!

        Or the 23 minute condensed version from the, increasingly inaccurately named, Reduced Shakespeare Company;

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Damn!

        > Perhaps a version of the Ring Cycle that is a little more relatable to modern audiences?

        That would be 'Lord of the Rings' or perhaps 'Star Wars'.

  2. GBE

    Kudos for the Gilbert & Sullivan allusion

    a job well done doing nothing much in particular.

    That's a nicely done G&S allusion.

  3. Chuunen Baka

    One person's entertainment ...

    I'd been stuck in a supermarket queue for 30 mins when a so-called comic turned up with a bloody megaphone and started to "entertain" the crowd. I could have happily given him a kicking but that would have breached social distancing.

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Re: One person's entertainment ...

      Get some clown shoes. Long enough to kick while maintaining social distancing, *and* providing much-needed entertainment for the masses!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Over the Hills and Far Away

  5. Brian Miller Silver badge

    "They call him the streak, fastest thing on two feet ..."

    Just remember to run when giving "performances" and then they probably won't know where you live.

    (Thanks to Ray Stevens for that song)

  6. Greybearded old scrote

    Don't do to others... you would wish them to do to you.

    _They_ might not be into water sports.

    1. Greybearded old scrote
      Thumb Up

      Re: Don't do to others...

      That thumb up just hit the spot. :-)

  7. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

    I don't want to be a kill joy, but three hours a day does sound a bit excessive to me.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      By at least 2 hours 59 minutes

    2. Annihilator Silver badge

      Bloody right.

      "I don't want to just sit here all day looking at the same four walls."

      Well most of us have to now, and we'd rather not listen to the muffled sounds of someone caterwauling. Similarly, the number of weapons who think that now is the time to have bonfire after bonfire. It's been 20+ degrees the last few weeks, and I'm sitting sweltering in the house of an eve with the windows bolted shut.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Why on Earth ...

        ... would you keep your windows closed? Shirley your so-called "authorities" haven't banned the introduction of fresh air into your living space.

        1. Annihilator Silver badge

          Re: Why on Earth ...

          You read the part about the bonfires, right?... Also I suspect if some prick was singing I'd also have them shut.

      2. werdsmith Silver badge

        I've been in the garden getting vitamin D on the nicest of days. I'm quite certain that outside in the fresh air and sunshine and notwithstanding the reputation of blighty weather there has been plenty of blue above lately, just like this morning.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Those in healthcare working nights and needing their BLOODY SLEEP have strong opinions about people intentionally creating loud noise for hours on end.

        Just because you are home and bored doesn't mean everyone else, and not everyone shares the idea that being a loud prat is a positive thing. Nevermind that here, that'd be a noise complaint--getting the police out. And they probably have better things to do.

  8. chivo243 Silver badge
    Thumb Up


    I would Karaoke any Soundgarden song! I'd do the Jesus Christ pose, the suit fits!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One song is too much

    Any 'broadcasting' the fella forces onto someone else is wrong. Happy for him that he found an outlet online but noise nuisances are just that, nuisances.

    1. NightFox

      Re: One song is too much

      It's like these people who share their music turned all the way up to 11 with everyone else on the beach/in the park/on the bus/wherever because they like it, so everyone else will, right?

    2. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: One song is too much

      I can agree that 3 hours forced entertainment can be more than too much but tolerance has to be a communal sport or nothing is allowed because someone will object.

      I used to enjoy the one day a year local 'festival' but that's no more because a few would not appreciate the enjoyment it brought to many.

      I put up with other people's shit in the expectation that they will put up with shit I might enjoy. It's about balance, tolerance, equability, reasonableness and compromise.

      The cure ->

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

        Re: One song is too much

        I put up with other people's shit in the expectation that they will put up with shit I might enjoy. It's about balance, tolerance, equability, reasonableness and compromise.

        The cure ->

        "No Jason , its Madness this week."

        Been waiting 30 years for the correct setup line for that quote.

    3. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: One song is too much

      Someone 50 metres away from here has been using an incredibly loud power tool, possibly a disk sander and it has been very distracting on sunny afternoons. However, I was prepared to tolerate it as he is producing PPE items in this home workshop. Other neighbours weren't so patient and have been arguing with him about it and he's now gone quiet.

    4. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      Re: One song is too much

      Ted, who is also accused of playing "You'll Never Walk Alone" during happy-clappy time on Thursdays

      "You'll Never Walk Alone" !

      Isnt there something about that in the Geneva Convention?

      1. Zippy´s Sausage Factory

        Re: One song is too much

        I believe the response expected when someone sings it badly at a football match is to chant back at them "You'll never walk... again"

        However working in IT and never having actually been to a football match I cannot personally verify this and therefore it remains an urban legend.

        Still, did you see that ludicrous display? I mean, the thing about Arsenal is they always try and walk it in...

  10. J4

    My neighbours listen to some excellent music

    Whether or not they want to.

  11. Steve Button

    "...and then I felt very sad"

    Yes, you are very sad, but it's taken you this long to realise.

    If I choose to go into a pub and suffer karaoke for an evening, the fair play. I have even done this a couple of times in my life.

    Having it forced upon us for 3 hours, all by the same person? On three occasions.

    1. idiottaxpayerhere previously ishtiaq/theghostdeejay

      Re: "...and then I felt very sad"

      Oh please, he is the life and soul of a party. And I fucking hate any life and soul of a party. Boring fucking bastards

      Cheers… Ish

  12. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Two questions:

    Can he actually sing?

    Has he paid for a licence from the PRS or whatever the approriate rent collecting organisation might be?

  13. Dave K Silver badge

    It's about choice

    People doing daft things, streaming them online for people to choose to watch - this is fine. The problem here is that by blaring away for 3 hours in front of your house, you're *forcing* everyone nearby to have to listen. It doesn't seem to have occurred to the guy that some people might not want to listen to karaoke - especially not for 3 hours.

    I appreciate he meant well, but he should find another outlet for this, rather than forcing his idea of entertainment down the ears of all his neighbours.

    1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      Re: It's about choice

      he has, according to the articve

  14. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Dear Mr Currie,

    You sad bastard. I agreed with everything you say :-)

  15. tony2heads

    Does he do requests?

    I want 4' 33'' by John Cage

    Icon: you though it was a halo, but those are noise-cancelling headphones

  16. Chris G Silver badge

    The Sound of Silence

    I was an early onset curmudgeon, now I am retired I have full curmudgeoning rights but I have always hated karaoke.

    Not least because most of the people that pick up the mike think that because they can read the lyrics on screen they can perform the song, when the reality is, most of them are so bad they create rifts in the fabric of the universe, and I personally find that annoying.

    It may be because I have never been able to sing, even my mother thought I sounded terrible.

    As for the Sound of Silence; my favourite version is by Disturbed.

    1. Emir Al Weeq

      Re: The Sound of Silence

      Chris G. I stumbled across the Disturbed cover by chance couple of days ago and it's become an earworm for me. How odd, never knew it existed then you come along and mention it too.

    2. Greybearded old scrote

      Oh my

      Speaking as one old enough to remember when the original was new I have to say, "Wow!"

      Thank you.

  17. mego

    Me, Me, Me

    Every single positive spin he puts on it is it's to help him feel better. Good on him for thinking of sharing, but not your neighbors fault if your singing is more akin to two cats going at it in an alleyway. Rather, look to youtube for the exposition so at least people can choose to be inflicted upon, and keep it in your own four walls please.

    1. tony2heads

      Re: Me, Me, Me

      Two cats (by Rossini)

  18. The Axe

    The only mistake...

    The only mistake he made was not to dedicate each song to the NHS. You can get away with breaking many crimes if it's for the NHS. No social distancing (as shown by the Met Police themselves on Westminster Bridge) and you can leave your house to clap when it's not a reasonable excuse to do so.

  19. jake Silver badge

    It's a variation of Tragedy of the Commons.

    Some of us like quiet solitude. Inflicting your version of uplifting sound on us is just plain rude.

    When my Daughter was about six years old, she took to yelling "looser!" at automobiles driving by with their tunes set to 11. She had a point. Out of the mouths of babes ...

    1. Negative Charlie

      Re: It's a variation of Tragedy of the Commons.

      > she took to yelling "looser!"

      I'm almost 100% certain that she didn't, for the obvious orthographic reason.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: It's a variation of Tragedy of the Commons.

        You are absolutely right ... I missed an o or several in the transcription.

        It was more along the lines of `loooooooooooser`.

  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. ovation1357 Bronze badge

    Forgive me for being a miserable git but...

    .. this whole clapping for the NHS thing feels like it's turning into a bit of a selective cult amongst (mainly) middle-class estate-dwellers.

    I love the NHS as much as the next person and I think our doctors an nurses are amazing but I also think that standing outside and clapping is rather pointless and I will not be part of it...

    As it happens nobody in my street seems to be doing it - possibly because I live amongst a densely populated mixture of flats and houses occupied by a truly metropolitan range of people from all 'corners' of this earth.

    Meanwhile the friends and family I hear taking about 'the clap' all seem to live in cul-de-sacs or nicer estates, and their main focus seems to be predominantly a game of one-upmanship: Starting with who can clap/bang the loudest and progressing to other stunts by individuals clearly hoping to show that their devotion to the NHS is that much greater than anyone elses.

    I think the best one yet was a story from a friend where some doofus in his street decided to light a big vertical flame thrower like you might see at a sports event, but had it too close to the house and set fire to the roof. Oh what larks!

    I'm just about tolerating a neighbour occasionally playing load music in their garden - anyway wannabe driveway DJs or Karaoke stars near me would be likely to cause me to have a sense of humour failure... The only remaining question is whether my local council's environmental/noise team is actually working right now?

    1. Toby Poynder

      Re: Forgive me for being a miserable git but...

      I'm not a clapper myself but the council estate round the back of my place erupts every Thursday evening to I can safely say it is not just a middle class thing, whatever else it is.

    2. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: Forgive me for being a miserable git but...

      I think the best one yet was a story from a friend where some doofus in his street decided to light a big vertical flame thrower like you might see at a sports event, but had it too close to the house and set fire to the roof. Oh what larks!

      Yeah, I heard a story from a friend of a friend of a friend where some bell end decided to fire a high powered laser into the sky which happened to burn a hole in a passing Zeppelin causing a massive hydrogen fire which came crashing down onto a fuel storage depot causing an explosion that left a crater the size of Much Wenlock. The guy that fired the mortar then fell into the crater and drowned in the flood caused by a burst water main. Oh what larks.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Forgive me for being a miserable git but...

      I feel pressured to join in , and i dont feel that actually working for the NHS excuses me

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I work for the NHS and I don't like it either. Admittedly, I work in IT not on the frontline - I don't even use my NHS ID badge to jump the queue for food shopping which I can do.

    I have to endure the clapping where I live - including saucepan banging and car horn blaring. There was also shouting, couldn't quite make it out, but I like to think it was along the lines "Shut the f*** up!"

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Which reminds me of a proper sing-along

    There's this traditional Australian song where audience participation is STRONGLY encouraged.

  24. Mike 137 Silver badge

    'No. We'll take "The Sound Of Silence"'

    Way back in the 70's there used to be a request to cafe musicians - 'can you play "Far, far away" please'

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least he did better than the concert violinist(?) featured in Private Eye, who roped in his family to form a quartet for an impromptu recital in his front garden. Police were called... but unfortunately they couldn't do anything because folks were all properly social distancing

  26. IareFlash

    Health System Cost Cuts

    A case of care in the community gone wrong? Poor bugger cannot win.

  27. Lotaresco Silver badge

    An annual problem

    Long before SARS-CoV-2 raised its receptor sites above the parapet we had an annual "music festival" within hearing range of home. Admittedly that hearing range is six miles, but the noise is loud enough to prevent sleep. Which is no problem at all if you're attending, woo! We're not teenagers, we're adults and we can stay up to 4AM with banging choons, man! More of a problem if like most of the people in the rural area your working day starts at 5AM.

    The great news is that thanks to the virus the event is cancelled.

    SARS-CoV-2, I love you man, you're like rilly, rilly my best friend.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: An annual problem

      One weekend per year? Cry me a river. Try living in any location when the bloody tourist-ride hot-air balloons are launching on what should be a quiet weekend dawn. You wouldn't believe how intrusive the things are until you have to live with them. I had the misfortune of discovering this in Yountville in the Napa Valley while we were waiting for this place to close escrow. Never had a Saturday or Sunday lie-in. Awful, awful things, hot air balloons. Should be outlawed for tourist use.

      [0] That's pronounced "yont", not "yount".

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