back to article Sometimes one can go a little too far in search of isolation

Welcome to another in The Register's surprisingly long-lived series of Borks and bugs from the UK, Europe and beyond. Today's Bork is an entirely different beast to the BSODs and plaintive error messages of recent times. The computer in question here is just fine and dandy but as Register reader Mat observed "it clearly hasn't …

  1. Shadow Systems Silver badge
    Pint

    Admiral Grace Hopper to post in 3, 2, 1...

    Because it's just got to happen! =-D

    *Hands her a pint when she arrives*

    Cheers!

    1. Saruman the White Silver badge

      Re: Admiral Grace Hopper to post in 3, 2, 1...

      Admiral Hopper died 1st January 1992. RIP.

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
        Stop

        Re: Admiral Grace Hopper to post in 3, 2, 1...

        She still haunts these forums, however.

      2. smudge Silver badge

        Re: Admiral Grace Hopper to post in 3, 2, 1...

        Admiral Hopper died 1st January 1992. RIP.

        But she still posts here. She has a really great internet service.

  2. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    For what it's worth

    On my last company laptop, a thrip climbed in between the layers of the screen somehow.

    And died.

    It spent the next couple of years pretending to be an apostrophe...

    1. Hubert Cumberdale

      Re: For what it's worth

      They do that all the time, and I've no idea why. It's incredibly annoying. I've seen screens with a dozen of them. And it's not just because of the screen light – they do it behind the glass in picture frames too.

    2. smudge Silver badge

      Re: For what it's worth

      I have a few in my screen in front of me.

      Have lost count of the number of times that I have tried to delete them when editing documents.

    3. DJV Silver badge

      Re: For what it's worth

      A few months ago I had a live one wandering around between the layers - very annoying until I noticed that lightly tapping near it made it walk in the opposite direction. It finally disappeared off the visible part of the screen, thank goodness. I have no idea whether or not it's still in there!

  3. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
    Linux

    That reminds me...

    I really should have taken a photo last time I flew KLM on a 777 using the older in-flight entertainment systems. On a couple of flights I managed to get Tux to show up whilst the damn thing rebooted.

    The newer ones (that use a decent IPS screen rather than the crap FN screens that just needs the person in front to lower their seat and you couldn't see jack all clearly) I've yet to manage get them crap out. Maybe once the planes age abit more, they might get more susceptible to falling over.

    1. Someone Else Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: That reminds me...

      Maybe once the planes age abit more, they might get more susceptible to falling over.

      Well, according to Fudd's First Law of Opposition, If You Push Something Hard Enough....

      1. FBee
        Thumb Up

        Re: That reminds me...

        ...it will fall over" end quote. See also Teslicle's Deviant ("What comes in, must go out").

  4. chivo243 Silver badge
    Happy

    Bugs have been around forever

    Just ask Buttle! Or should we ask Tuttle?

    1. anthonyhegedus Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Bugs have been around forever

      Have a beer for referencing my favourite film!

  5. Joe Gurman

    That....

    ....is an ex-moth.

    1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

      Re: That....

      Not pushing up any daisies, though!

  6. Roger Kynaston Bronze badge
    Black Helicopters

    different sort of bug?

    Perhaps it is an engineered bug and is sniffing out all the details people input to then allow nefarious miscreants to empty the victims bank accounts. I seem to remember something like this in The Fifth Element!

    </tinfoilhat>

    1. hoola Bronze badge

      Re: different sort of bug?

      The ultimate screen reader, maybe they have some sort of micro-transmitter hidden away to send all your characters and other information back to some greater power somewhere.

      When my kids were younger there was a fantastic DVD called G-Force. It featured some guinea pigs doing a mixture of James Bond, Mission Impossible and Charlies Angels. In the film they had various insects with cameras and listening devices. The G-Force guinea pigs had some cool comms kit as well.

  7. holmegm Bronze badge

    A nearby petrol pump has had a very large, very obvious mummified bug carcass behind the screen for ... 7 years? Possibly more. The pump has been inspected with the appropriate stickers/seals multiple times. I guess it's a feature, not a bug.

    I am alternately repulsed and somehow impressed.

    1. imanidiot Silver badge

      A pump inspection involves just making sure that the volume it displays and the total monetary value displayed match the amount of fuel dispensed, and that the internals are leak free. Opening the counter mechanism to remove bugs might not even be possible. They're often built more or less sealed and tamper-proof. Likely the inspector doesn't even have the know how and the tools to do so.

  8. Hazmoid
    Devil

    Makes a change from the cockroach stuffed Xbox

  9. ILLQO

    Horror Story from TV Repair land

    My worst bug story was a TV repair in probably 2005/2006. I was called out to a house for a non operational set. I remember stepping into the house and getting a whiff of that smell of cockroaches that you learn to identify if you repair a lot of electronics. I asked the customer if he had a bug problem and he did the typical reply of no.

    I remember opening the back of the set and even though the room was lit it seemed overly dark inside the back of the set (LG Rear projection). I turned on my flashlight and it was like the shadows ran away from the bulb and I realized that there was a literal carpet of cockroaches inside the set. What they had left behind on the circuit board was reminiscent of HR Geiger and the Aliens movies (I know also H. R. Geiger but its what flashes through my head when I saw it). I calmly gathered my tools and told the customer it was a full loss and non repairable. He decided to yell at me and called my boss to complain. Sitting down the street I got a call from my boss who was super hot about me walking out of a repair. Not wanting to ever look into the face of crawling horror ever again I replied with a "Listen, if you can fix this thing I will give you back a weeks pay" and standing by since I didn't have a call again for about an hour or so I watched my boss drive by in his van. About 20 minutes after seeing him I receive a call back going "Nope, not even touching that you can keep your paycheck"

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