back to article Travel advice for the week ahead is just: STOP

"What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?" It's a question that has vexed the remote-working borkdesk at Vulture Central (or a at least its virtual incarnation) for some time. Thanks to one of our very own Vultures, out for permitted exercise last week, we think we have an answer. And the answer is, of course …

  1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Joke

    Really?

    Your hardworking Register hacks, of course, remain immaculately turned out at all times and are not at all unhinged.\

    Photos please or is this just more fake news?

    As for me, I'm wearing a summer off the shoulder dress (with accessories naturally). The only way to check that will be to hack my system and turn on the camera. Oh wait, there is that bit of black tape over it. [see icon]

    1. Roger Kynaston Bronze badge

      Re: Really?

      Playmobil or it didn't happen

    2. HellDeskJockey
      Joke

      Re: Really?

      Hummm,

      And here I thought causal Friday was now clothing optional Friday.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Really?

        Dude, forget to wind your clock? It's Monday.

        1. Danny Boyd Bronze badge

          Re: Really?

          Clothing optional Monday, clothing optional Tuesday...

  2. Chris G Silver badge

    "What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?"

    London will be taken over by digital Imagos, they will become ever more powerful, sucking reality from those breaking quarantine, until only blue screens are populating the city.

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: "What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?"

      The blue screens will be a signal for all those indoctrinated into the MS Borg (especially Sharepoint users) to rise up and roam the world looking for people using Linux or Android or any bit of Apple 'tat'. They'll destroy the non conforming items and make the offenders join the MS Borg.

      "Windows is the World" they'll chant as yet another update is rammed down their throats. Those borg members who fail to survive the endless reboots will be Ctrl-Alt-Del'd into the fiery furnaces of hell.

      All hail our masters from Redmond. Bow down and pledge what remains of your life to the great god Satnad.

      [the above is a joke ok and not a plot line for a future Dr Who episode ok!]

      1. Robert Grant Silver badge

        Re: "What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?"

        Following on from the success of Windows for Warships, perhaps Windows for Dictatorships?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?"

          While there is no clear evidence that Lockdown has kept the infection and death rates lower than expected, are you really willing to put your - and everybody else's - life on the line to see if there is a direct causal link or not?

          Don't forget the media and Twitterati demanded Lockdown all the time the government were only "advising" us to stay in. Now, having realised that it wasn't only going to apply to everyone else, they demand it be lifted.

          Is it a Dictatorship when it is what the electorate demanded?

          1. Robert Grant Silver badge

            Re: "What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?"

            Why are you talking about lockdown?

      2. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: "What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?"

        Ah yes, my install is from a continually imaged disk which has been upgraded all the way back from Windows XP (I am lazy).

        Only BSOD I have encountered was is because I still had Arcsoft Totalmedia Extreme installed (Why products had to have EXTREME in them is beyond me, also crap uninstaller and yes my registry is probably the thing of nightmares!).

        Only BSOD I was never able to resolve without a reinstall was a Windows 7 machine that upgraded to 10 and failed every major update thanks to Intel dropping support of a chipset driver (Runs Mint perfect though).

        1. TeeCee Gold badge

          Re: "What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?"

          ...my registry is probably the thing of nightmares!

          Ccleaner. It's been keeping my current once-was-XP-now-10-on-entirely-different-hardware-but-for-the-case setup tidy for years.

          My favourite giggle is to take a brand new, freshly "gold imaged" corp machine and run Ccleaner over its registry to see how much cruft there is. I always get a potted history of the image's gestation with remnants of each and every piece of software ever installed for test or pilot, along with a good feel for how repellently shite their uninstall processes were. Always horrific to see what the "professionals" think is perfectly OK.

          1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

            Re: "What does digital signage show when humans aren't around?"

            Ah yes the corp image on an Intel machine which for some reasons installs AMD drivers and software.

  3. earl grey Silver badge
    Flame

    my registry is probably the thing of nightmares

    The registry was always f-ed up to begin. It should never have allowed applications of any kind access to a primary system level file.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: my registry is probably the thing of nightmares

      "The registry was always fucked up. It should never have been allowed."

      FTFY

      1. Version 1.0 Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: my registry is probably the thing of nightmares

        "Windows was always fucked up. It should never have been allowed."

        FTFY

  4. Hubert Cumberdale

    STOP!

    Hammertime.

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