BOFH: Gosh, IPv5? Why didn't I think of that? Say, how do you like the new windows in here? Take a look. Closer... BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns It's meeting time and the huddled masses of IT are collected in the open area. Heads turn as people try to understand why we're here and who called the meeting. The Boss looks blank. "I just called us all here today so we could observe a moment's silence for the passing of David, the …
<quote>the world's first pneumatic suppository – so the Boss understands firsthand what a pain in the arse is</quote>
I have a better suggestion for demonstrating what a pain in the ass is:
Conceal a 5 HP, 3600RPM motor under the seat of an executive chair with a 12inch diameter concrete drill bit coupled directly to the motor's shaft. Mount this on a pedal operated mechanism to force drill bit upward, through the seat. Convince your victim executive in need of education to take a seat. Fasten restraining straps. Fire up the motor, and finally demonstrate exactly what a PITA (he/she) is.
I got as far as this :-
The room gets suddenly more cramped as everyone takes a couple of steps away from the windows.
had to stop for a few minutes, trying to get me breath back ffs :o)
OMFG just got to :-
What I'm not so keen on are questions like "What's a domain controller?", "Why do we need a router?" and "Does IPv6 cost more than IPv4'?", "Couldn't we try some IPv5 and upgrade to 6 in next year's budget?" and "Have you looked for cheaper IP on eBay?"
I am howling here LOL
putting hairline fractures in the base of the Boss's chair in preparation for the world's first pneumatic suppository
Assuming the chair is made out of the usual aluminium alloy, just put some gallium (easily available on the usual online auction sites) inside the support. Then turn the heating up a bit. When it hits about 32°C the gallium will melt and slowly corrode the aluminium...
I've been tempted to use that on the wheels of some of the boy racer types who insist on racing around the local streets at midnight.
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I use an EDM at work and have a boss whos a right pain in the bottom.... now... all I need is a distraction... say an urgent meeting at a customer (happily their robot wrangler and myself go back a long way.....) and about 2 hours on the EDM weakening the mounting plate... 5 mins reassembly work and note to myself reminding me not to take phone calls in that office.
Note : EDM is electro-discharge machining uses an electrode(sometimes thin brass wire, sometimes a solid shaped piece of copper or graphte) to 'spark' away metal in a very precise way.
In the 1970's, there was a debate in the office over which of two managers was the heavier. It was a choice between tall and chubby or short and spherical. In time, the discussion turned real; a book was started, certainties questioned, money was involved.
We new graduates were charged with solving the problem and we decided that strain-gauging the centre-tubes of their chairs would get the problem determined.
Unfortunately, it was just another great idea that never ran to completion. The heavier took early retirement.
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Wrong. Wrongetty wrong with wrongknobs on.
Quora provides an existence proof that not only are there stupid questions but that there are a near infinite number of people sufficiently stupid that they are willing to ask them again and again and again ad infinitum.
"Does IPv6 cost more than IPv4'?", "Couldn't we try some IPv5 and upgrade to 6 in next year's budget?
If not exactly that I've come across that mixture of parsimony, ignorance and inability to let the experts do their jobs a good few times.
Never ends well, but the crass idiots who come up with this stuff will have moved on long before the chickens are roosting.
Surely the PFY would use one of those EDM Machines? https://phys.org/news/2020-02-universe.html
It's normal for Geeks to dream about changing fundamental universal symmetries to shaft their PHBs, right? Not that just me?
Also, if you lalk about the sparklies, the M already stands for Machining. So, ED Machine.
It's only a stupid question if the person could be reasonably be expected to know that. Most non IT personnel wouldn't know IP from UPS, and why should you expect them to? Most 'stupid' questions or 'stupid' people result from ignorance - which is curable if you bother. People have different talents and abilities & as a result different information sets - I would like to see any IT guy/gal trying to match Usain Bolt or Einstein, not that either would denigate you for not being able to keep up.
Lets face the BOFH and PFY are criminal scum, serial killers in IT - some times they as characters go far too far and it ceases to be funny.
...is the one you don't know the answer to but are too afraid/embarressed/smartarsed to ask.
And if anyone tells you "Oh, *that's* a stupid question, *everyone* knows that!" you can point out that they are obviously wrong - and stupid - since *you* didn't know the answer.
Unless you keep asking "Are we there yet?". That's not a question, that is grounds for re-education with a high-voltage cattleprod...
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