Xerox hopes wining and dining HP shareholders will convince them of takeover

A plate of oysters, followed by genuine Japanese Wagyu sirloin? Washed down with a bottle or two of Screaming Eagle Cabernet '92? These are just some of the levers Xerox may pull to convince HP Inc shareholders to cash out when it wines and dines them this week. It is not known which institutional HP investors have been …

[simonlb]

One More Waffer Thin Share Sir?

They should keep well away, otherwise there will be an almighty bout of indigestion once they realise just how hard it will be to pay off that $24 billion loan Xerox took on to take them over. It will be far worse than a private equity company doing a bit of asset stripping to get their pound of flesh.

[vtcodger]

Hey, it's a free meal

It's a free meal. And an opportunity to judge how qualified these financial geniuses are to conduct a really first class pump and dump operation on HP's stock.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Hey, it's a free meal

With a meal that size, its going to be a very large and smelly dump!

[Korev]

Visentin and Icahn, who owns more than 10 per cent of Xerox and almost 5 per cent of HP stock, reckon a combination of the two businesses will make them stacks of cash.

FTFY

[big_D]

I don't get the joke icon, shouldn't it have been Sherlock?

Icahn't is the poster child for everything that is wrong with stock juggling these days.

[MyffyW]

I was tempted to wheel out the Adam Smith quote about Joint Stock Companies again, but John Ruskin took possession of me (and very fetching he looked in my floral blue dress):

"now, every fool in Xerox can be in HP, and every fool in HP at Xerox: which you think a lucrative process of exchange – you Fools everywhere"

[Anonymous Coward]

HP - "He has put in place a restructure that takes costs out of the organisation" - ie sack people.

Even if Xerox take over HP, what are the bets that the first thing they do is cull the workforce.

Only those at the top will win - everybody else in the workforce will probably pay the price.

[sanmigueelbeer]

And to those who oppose?

And those who oppose to the merger will be served "coronas"?

[Boris the Cockroach]

If

it all goes TITSUP and the value of HP gets written down, will xerox be suing HP for wire fraud and dodgy accounting?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: If

As is tradition.

[Aseries]

Desperation move

The question is, who will buy up the remains of Xerox when the buyout fails.

[Denarius]

got it all wrong

Its not Xerox trying to borg HP. Its Autonomy, hoping HP will die. Someone called in a favor to start the process. After all, it worked for HP and EDS. Also the ruins of whatever CDX bought...

[Intractable Potsherd]

Re: got it all wrong

I like your thinking, Danarius! It all makes sense in that light - previously, I've been following this with a WTF expression on my face.

An aside to El Reg - thank you for being one of the few news outlets that uses words like "loquacious", and correctly at that. Please keep revelling in the dusty corners of the English language.

[localzuk]

Still seems to be the wrong way round

Xerox buying HP still seems to be backwards. HP should counter with an offer to buy Xerox.

[Frederic Bloggs]

Re: Still seems to be the wrong way round

They are, after all, acknowledged experts in this sort of thing. With a long list of well judged and successful acquisitions over the last few years.

[MeekMark]

Dinner invite missing!

I own a few shares of HPQ but I have not yet received my dinner invitation! I've checked my junk email folder; any clues? Maybe my name will be at the door.

[Hass]

Re: Dinner invite missing!

HPQ is now HPE, this is HP Inc (the personal systems and printers side of the business since they split).