Beer necessities: US chap registers bevvy as emotional support animal so he can booze on public transport

News has reached Vulture Central of a US resident's attempt to have his beer registered as an emotional support animal in the hope of bringing the amber nectar onboard public transport. Noted in the Brooklyn Paper, the chap submitted the paperwork in December. To that end, he registered his beer as an emotional support dog …

[DavCrav]

Was the beer a Brewdog?

[EVP]

Quite likely... or it could have been Old Brown Dog as well.

Next, he needs to claim that being drunk is a form of religious worship and he will be scott free after caring for his emotional support animal while commuting to his place of work.

I still support the idea of being a beerafari. Pastafaris are so yesterday.

(—-> That’s me during diurnal offices.)

[Spamfast]

Respect

he needs to claim that being drunk is a form of religious worship

I like that idea - have an up-vote.

I still support the idea of being a beerafari. Pastafaris are so yesterday.

The correct term is Pastafarian, plural Pastafarians please. (Pastafari is an adjectival form.)

And remember beer is integral to CFSM - the incontrovertable word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (He Boiled For Our Sins™) tells us that heaven has the Beer Fountain.

May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

[What? Me worry?]

Or it came from Lucky Lab Brewery? (from that settlement on the Willamette that almost got named Boston...)

[fidodogbreath]

Or perhaps it was Old Leghumper.

[fishman]

Maybe Flyingdog?

[Ken Shabby]

Chunks

[Luiz Abdala]

You gotta shoot...

... and see what sticks.

I love some Heineken puppies myself, when the good kennels with the good breeds are not available....

It was worth the shot.

[jake]

Re: You gotta shoot...

How could you possibly use a beer icon and mention Heineken in the same post?

[a_yank_lurker]

Re: You gotta shoot...

He could have mentioned ButtWiper aka Budweiser an infamous swill.

[eldel]

Re: You gotta shoot...

Ahh Budweiser - a testament to the urinary function of cats everywhere.

Believe it or not - they have a "beer garden" in the chemical plant that spews it out. I often wonder where they get the beer from.

[el_oscuro]

Re: You gotta shoot...

When I was stationed in Germany Budweiser (the American one) was actually illegal to sell off the American bases. There were a few dusty six packs of it in the PX, probably still sitting there from the 1970s.

Meanwhile, I would be off to pick up of a case of Parkbrau at the local Esso station.

BTW, if you ever happen to come by the Czech Budweiser, you need to try it. It is *really* good.

[BebopWeBop]

Re: You gotta shoot...

The Czach lager is widely available in British supermarkets, less so in German (can't think why)

[SundogUK]

Re: You gotta shoot...

I have toured the brewery at České Budějovice. If you like the stuff they export, you have to try what they keep for themselves...

[MachDiamond]

Re: You gotta shoot...

"f you like the stuff they export, you have to try what they keep for themselves..."

That's pretty common. I've partaken at the well springs of life (the Guinness brewery) and it's much better than the Molson's version sold in the US.

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Re: You gotta shoot...

Gotta love GTA's take on it - PissWasser :D

[elkster88]

Re: You gotta shoot...

My instructor at an HP training school in the early 90s out in Fort Collins, CO was a Scotsman named Angus who had lived in the Netherlands for some time.

The only thing I can now remember him teaching me was the saying "Dutch cows drink Grolsch and piss Heineken".

Odd fellow, but he took the entire class out for beers at Coopersmith's.

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: You gotta shoot...

use a beer icon and mention Heineken

Well - it's *a* beer - just not one anyone sane and with working taste buds would want to drink..

[onemark03]

Heineken

Nah, Heineken's dog's piss.

I far prefer Becks or Holsten - both beers with balls.

[jake]

Having ridden public transportation in New York and environs ...

... I would have to suggest that having a beer or two BEFORE getting on board is not only a good idea, it should be the law. On the other hand, it would seem that a small percentage of the ridership more than make up for the folks who choose not to partake ... Come to think of it, I think I'll just avoid said public transportation. And indeed, everything East of Denver on this side of the Pond.

With that said, it should be noted that there are any number of so-called "Service Animal Registration" outfits who will take money from anybody and issue a certificate that states that any old mangy, bad-tempered, fear-biting cur is a "service dog". Embroidered collar and jacket available for just $100 extra! These people separating fools from their money are diluting the value of actual service animals ... I mean, do you REALLY think that every two-bit "B"-rated actress has a trained service animal? And do you really think that every little old lady shopping at Whole Foods with a little mutt in her shopping cart has a need for a service dog?

The entire industry needs to be regulated ... until it is no longer an industry, and gets back into the business of helping people who actually need help.

[martinusher]

The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

Just yesterday there was a report that US airlines were changing regulation so that the only permitted emotional support animal will be a properly trained and certified dog. Stores and other public places have also been enforcing 'no animals' except for proper service animals and enforcement against bogus certifications has been stepped up (claiming an animal is a service animal when it isn't is now a misdemeanor).

With regard to beer on the transit system this fellow's right -- he can certainly bring reasonable amounts with him in a container. Just not an open container.

[Keven E]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

Just not an open container.

Does a screw top seal that deal?

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

What about the emergency pressure release valve? It might look like a straw, but it's definitely a safety device.

[paulll]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

I hope that's not a *plastic* emergency pressure release valve?!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

Yep I saw this too. About time, everybody has a letter now claiming their pooch is an "emotional support animal" so they can bring it along on their flight home for the holidays for free.

I'll be glad to see that brought to an end, and only legitimate service animals allowed on flights. They are bad enough without a bunch of untrained animals added to the mix.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

>They are bad enough without a bunch of untrained animals added to the mix

Same applies to most spawn^W kids. I once suffered^W enjoyed a flight with the pre-teen kid in the seat behind me kicking the back of my seat (fairly vigourously) every 20 seconds or so. I did ask said kids' parent if they would stop their kid doing it and just got a evil glare back.

Eventually, one of the cabin crew relocated me to another seat without the back-kicker.

[Malcolm Weir]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

I've heard a number of people make this claim about "service animals" being a scam. First, they're talking about _support_ animals, which are not the same as _service_ animals, hence the different words.

Second, even if you are talking about _support_ animals, who, precisely, is (or should be) the judge of the benefit that the animal brings?

For example, if having a dog means you don't need to take anti-depressant medication, is that enough to qualify the dog as a "real" support animal... I know several people that were long-time patients taking doctor-prescribed meds, like Welbutrin, who quit the meds when they got the dog. Sure, the mechanism is probably that taking Fido for a walk everyday relieves the depression, but if it's the presence of the dog that inspires the walking, well, who's to say that's worse than popping pills?

I certainly accept there are some people with support animals that want the beast as a "petcessorary", but it seems to me that most of the regulations against (say) dogs are based on unsound motives. For example, the airlines hate emotional support animals because they don't get to charge ludicrous fees to transport them... and use their staff's tired "a dog bit me once" line as a justification (penalize the owners of dogs who bite, not everyone).

[jtaylor]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

"if having a dog means you don't need to take anti-depressant medication, is that enough to qualify the dog as a "real" support animal"

I never considered that before. I always saw ESAs as just pets with extra training. Thanks for giving me something to think about!

"most of the regulations against (say) dogs are based on unsound motives...because they don't get to charge ludicrous fees to transport them... and use their staff's tired "a dog bit me once" line as a justification (penalize the owners of dogs who bite, not everyone)."

I actually have some sympathy for places that restrict animals. I've travelled with service dogs, and yes it is often difficult and occasionally unpleasant to just get basic access, but it's also scary to see other dogs as potential threats. That yapping Yorkie in a handbag shows me that animals weren't properly screened before entry. That Doberman with service dog vest might be helping a disabled combat vet, but might also just be a poorly trained pet (most pets are poorly trained to work calmly and confidently in crowds and public transport) and could lash out if we get too close.

After a service animal is attacked, it can be traumatized and unable to work (see above comment about calm and confident). This isn't just oh poor mutt needed stitches, this could make it impossible for their human to live independently.

It's not that people who lie about service animals intend to cause harm. Their dogs probably didn't bite anyone yet. They just don't understand that their actions have serious consequences for others, and transfer all the risk to people with real working dogs. So yes, "someone I know was once attacked by a fake service dog" is something to take seriously.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

The other side of the coin represents the people who are terrified of dogs - hardly emotional support for them if they are jammed into a confined space with one (regardless of whether it is a threat or not)

[JassMan]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

Simple answer: service animals travel free, support animals need a paid for ticket.

[Anonymous Coward]

Some service animals are a scam too

You can order the vests they wear off the internet and put them on your dog. That sucks for the people with legitimate service animals as those have a lot of training so they behave properly in public.

That's more of an issue for people wanting to bring their dogs to public places like restaurants. The "emotional support animal" scam is more about people bringing their pets on flights.

[stiine]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

Me. I should be the one who is allowed to, but won't, certify support animals.

[MachDiamond]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

"Just yesterday there was a report that US airlines were changing regulation so that the only permitted emotional support animal will be a properly trained and certified dog"

There is no official classification for an "emotional" support animal in US law. A "service" animal is defined as a dog or miniature horse that performs tasks for a handicapped person. There are also some dogs that can detect when a person is going to have a seizure or other episode and can warn them.

The airlines and many establishments have be scared they'll get sued if they don't let somebody bring their pet with them if they say it's a service animal. It's long past time that it's made more strict. I love my cat but I know many people are allergic. I don't think the cat would enjoy going on a plane, but I also don't want to make somebody else's life miserable for hours on end while they are sealed up in a shiny metal tube. If they complain, it's them that will get asked to leave the plane.

If I'm going to nominate something for emotional support, it will be a good single malt (beer? ptah) or a pet lump of C4.

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: The service animal scam is about to come to a very abrupt end

don't think the cat would enjoy going on a plane

At least two of my moggies would cause severe harm to anyone trying to cage them in order to put them on a flight (ex-feral farm cats - let's just say they haven't exactly had positive experiences of being caged and, last time we tried to take the big ginger (think 7kg of usually-placid cat that turns into a whirling ball of knives and daggers while trying to get away. His sister is only about 4kg but has the same combat technique) to the vet for his checkup I ended up with big claw and teeth holes in my right arm and hand. Neither of them go to the vet any more..)

[Snake]

Too damn early

As usual, it seemed I was 30 years before my time - my 'support animal' was my Burmese python, which went everywhere with me where I could manage to get her into (sadly limited, but it sure did open up conversations).

I wonder if she'd be more socially accepted now... :hopeful:

[Tom 7]

Re: Too damn early

I'd recommend a camel*. My dad was handing out degrees at a ceremony in the US and one of the graduates got his certificate and staggered a few feet and collapsed. He lay on the floor with a gentle fountain of bourbon coming from a plastic pipe poking out the top of his shirt. He'd got a plastic bag wrapped around his body and filled it with drink and attached a thin plastic hose and taken regular draughts to keep himself happy - presumably he speeded up a bit with my dads speech!

*camel I believe is a name of a similar external water container used by cyclists and hikers who put bloody water in them!

[Snake]

Re: Came that reptile!

LOL, thanks for the feedback. But I was deadly serious: best pet I ever had was my Burmese python, and we adored one another. I took her to work with me for 3 straight years, and understand I was in a public-facing job at the time (sales). Still, kept her under my shirt (she was small then, not later though...), friendly and intensely curious - she's come out of my shirt to welcome visitors and 'ask' for a petting :p Because she was one seriously pampered pet.

[Spamfast]

Re: Came that reptile!

my Burmese python, and we adored one another

I like snakes too but I suspect it was merely humouring you in the hope that one day it'd get big enough to get you down in one. ;-)

I don't adore my Ringwood Fortyniner but I'm very fond of it, to get back on topic.

[Scott 26]

"I could go a Puppers"

http://www.letterkenny.tv/puppers

[ThatOne]

You don't eat your support animal!

You're not supposed to eat your support animal (at least not in public), so if beer was his support animal, he wasn't allowed to actually drink it. That idea was stupid from the start.

[Mike Moyle]

Re: You don't eat your support animal!

Well, he "was apparently given a (now removed) tracking number for his faithful friend," which implies to me that only the one for which he applied was approved, just the same as how one couldn't really claim that some dog picked up off the street was the same animal as one's fully-trained service dog.

[el_oscuro]

Re: You don't eat your support animal!

Did you get the get the latest Microsoft update?

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2020/01/22/office_365_bing/

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Re: You don't eat your support animal!

I wonder if he could specify the glass as the 'animal' and the 'beer' as it's 'milk' as it were?

[stiine]

Re: You don't eat your support animal!

Are yeast animals? And are any still alive in the beer?

[chivo243]

No beer on the train?

Someday? They sell beer in the train stations here in NL, I used to buy one for the 20± minute ride I used to take. And then a few hours later, one for the ride home.

[AdamWill]

Re: No beer on the train?

Beer on trains: fine. You can drink a beer on an Amtrak and no one is gonna mind. Beer on the subway/commuter rail: not really. Dunno why it's that way, but it is. Same everywhere I've been, that I can think of...

[Throatwarbler Mangrove]

Re: No beer on the train?

I have it on good authority that it is trivially difficult to transfer the contents of a beer bottle or can into a thermal container such as one might use for coffee, thus rendering it difficult for the casual observer to tell the difference. So I'm told.

[veti]

Re: No beer on the train?

Yes, but an unspoken requirement of beer drinkers is that the supply needs to far exceed any plausible level of demand within the time of the journey. A single thermos wouldn't last you long, you'd need to bring a six-pack of them. That gets a bit unwieldy.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: No beer on the train?

I;ve seen those weedy little US standard beer cans. You could probably pour a six pack into a large thermos.

[Tom 7]

Re: No beer on the train?

If you wear the right coat you can carry quite a lot. I went to the Middlesex 7's and, having passed security who enjoyed examining my food filled rucksack IIRC I had some 12 cans of ale and two bottles of spirits secreted in my coat which were not noticed. it does help to be brick-shithouse sized already mind.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: No beer on the train?

The despotic mayor of Moscow tried to ban beer on the metro, but the public just ignored it. Beer for breakfast is a standard daily routine judging by roughly half the Moscow commuters, and the kiosks near the stations do a roaring trade.

[Sherrie Ludwig]

Re: No beer on the train?

"Beer on trains: fine. You can drink a beer on an Amtrak and no one is gonna mind. Beer on the subway/commuter rail: not really. Dunno why it's that way, but it is. Same everywhere I've been, that I can think of..."

In Illinois, in the USA, there used to be a "bar car" on the longer commuter rail lines, and one could tipple on the way home from Chicago. Sad to see it go. https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2008-08-27-0808270116-story.html

[Spamfast]

Re: No beer on the train?

In Germany, you generally aren't allowed to drink beer on city S- and U-Bahn trains but it's fine on the IC/ICE inter-city services. ICEs often have a proper bar selling decent bottled beers like Veltins to drink there or take back to your seat if you've neglected to bring your own.

However they've started banning alcohol consumption on the cross-country RegioBahn services in some Bundesländer which are unfortunately the ones I use most. (ICEs are lovely but they cost way more than the red ones and I'm a bit of a skinflint.) Schade, as they say. :-(

[onemark03]

ICEs

@ spamfast:

If you book early enough* on the ICE (not everyone can, admittedly), you can get really dirt-cheap fares.

Just saying.

*Three months out max.

[earl grey]

mmmmmm....beer

Mmmmmm,.....beer

[Not Enough Coffee]

No no no, he should have registered his support yeast, which happens to be crated in a chilled can.

[EVP]

That one is really... something that could have been a plot for a Monty Python sketch. (In memory of Terry Jones)

Well done, have a support animal on me —->

[Throatwarbler Mangrove]

"These are my emotional support yeast, their name's Eric."

"What, all of them?"

"Of course, it's not like I can tell them apart."

A doo doo doo, a di di di, Eric the half-a-yeast . . .

[Long John Brass]

their name's Eric.

Shouldn't that be Bruce?

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: their name's Eric.

Or Alan (Whicker) since it's for travelling.

[Sherrie Ludwig]

No no no, he should have registered his support yeast, which happens to be crated in a chilled can.

Then he'd be out of luck still, beer in cans is filtered to remove the yeast.

[CrazyOldCatMan]

beer in cans is filtered to remove the yeast

'yeast corpses" - I doubt whether there is much live yeast left in yer average commercial beer anyway - it's mostly killed off by the alcohol..

(Which is a nice metaphor for humanity - producing enough waste product that's toxic to the thing producing it..)

[The Oncoming Scorn]

Seems To Be My Day For Misreading Things

"Not that I'm an alcoholic," he told the publication.

Read it as publican.

[Chris G]

Trains and Boats and Planes

If you can have a beer or even a short on the above three (I have had a three course meal with brandy and champagne on the Orient Express and shampoo and caviar flying first class from Moscow), why not on buses and metros(tubes)?

It's not as if they would let you drive any of them anyway.

Mine's the one with the litre pockets.

[jake]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

What was the vintage on the shampoo?

(Just to stay on topic, in the New York transit systems one can often find real poo ... but that's another story.)

[el_oscuro]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

Visiting New York last year, one of the locals told me: "If the subway car is empty, *do not* get on it. Don't ask me why."

[BebopWeBop]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

Fewer witnesses make you a better target for neer do wells sing a lone traveller maybe?

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

Considering the context I was led to think it would be because someone laid out a chocolate sausage somewhere and the smell was keeping people out. Maybe that's just my mind.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

I suspect it's more to do with the financial means of those who travel on them. You're unlikely to get scruffy winos on the Orient Express or airliners so less likely to get rowdy drunks who piss themselves.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

In the annoying stakes, a posh drunk is the worst. I spent a miserable year at a posh university so I speak from first hand experience of drunken chinless wonders and their flat chested, horse faced companions.

[tiggity]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

There's only a handful of "posh UK unis" - you may as well name the culprit

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

My money is on Cambridge - least friendly county in the country*.

*In general. There will always be those exceptions, such as southerners in a northern town, English people in Scotland/N.Wales/Cornwall etc.)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

It's the uni that posh people go to when they are so thick that even the school tie and daddy's social standing can't get you into Oxbridge. Harry Enfield's "Tim Nice But Dim" character captures the gormlessness and lack of self awareness, but not the arrogance. We even had a guy who ran his own polo team and when questioned by the tutor about his lack of doing any actual study stated "I'm only here to sow my wild oats before taking up my commission in the army". Last laugh was on him though, as his fiance paid a surprise visit to the halls of residence and walked in on him playing "hide the sausage" with the lead cellist from the orchestra.

[MachDiamond]

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

I need to dig out my M.I.T. shirt. The subtile is "for those that couldn't get into CalTech".

I get into so much trouble with that one.

[Anonymous Coward]

"While we cannot condone the consumption of booze on a bus or a tipple on a train"

Why not? Aside from there being nothing intrinsically wrong with it (if done responsibly - consumption of alcohol increases the chances of trying to pole-dance or offering to fight everyone on the carriage but does not guarantee it by any means), it does throw some doubt upon your qualifications as a journalist.

[Anonymous Coward]

Shaun Ryder (otherwise known as cider)

[Purple-Stater]

Another glass of disappointment...

In the USA there is no government-recognized registry of service animals, nor support animals. Support animals are not service animals and are afforded no special benefits at all. Service animals are generally dogs only, but there is a very limited exception for some miniature horses.

[davebarnes]

No beer on the train?

I have drunk wine with my lunch/snack on trains in Portugal, España, France, Italia, Slovenija, and Österreich.

Why is beer different?

Or, are you saying that I can't drink wine with my lunch on a train in the UK?

[Richard Crossley]

Re: No beer on the train?

Not can you drink beer & wine on the train in the UK they will sell it to you.

TFL, which is a London centric organisation, only controls the trains operated for TFL. Those would be London Underground, the "Tube" if you like and London Overground, normal trains on specific routes.

In the rest of the UK, the trains allow the consumption of alcoholic beverages. I've occasionally boarded a Friday evening train at Kings Cross and arrived ready to party in Newcastle a few hours later.

Great Western Wine List

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: No beer on the train?

"I've occasionally boarded a Friday evening train at Kings Cross and arrived ready to party in Newcastle a few hours later."

Really? You must travel very often if that occasionally happens to you. For most people, getting from Kings Cross to Newcastle in only a few hours by train is a once in a lifetime experience and very much worth celebrating!

[Richard Crossley]

Re: No beer on the train?

I seem to recall it took about 3 hours. Having moved a way from London I don't make the journey now. I travelled the route between 2007 and 2012.

Traveling back on Sunday required patience.

[Roj Blake]

Re: No beer on the train?

Maybe it only felt like a few hours due to the alcohol dilating time.

[MachDiamond]

Re: No beer on the train?

"Not can you drink beer & wine on the train in the UK they will sell it to you."

I wish they would sell beer and wine on the commuter lines in the US and use the money to lower the price of regular fare tickets.

Even if they just sold coffee and danish on the commuter trains, they'd clean up.

[What? Me worry?]

Back in the day when I lived in Munich, during the morning commute on the U-Bahn (U2, no less...) It was common to see the proletariat quaff a Helles or Export from Augustiner-Bräu. No one batted an eye lid- kids on their way to school, wage slaves, etc, all traveling together. Have a beer to start your day? No problem.Hard days slog? Crack tube. Not sure how it works today. Guess I should go back and check... :)

[big_D]

But the traditional breakfast in that part of Bavaria is Weißwurst (boiled white sausage), Brezel with sweet mustard (Süßsenf) and a glass of Weizen beer.

I've had it a few times, during the time I lived in Bavaria, even though I'm not normally a breakfast person.

[What? Me worry?]

But only before ten am. ;) The Weißwurstfrühstück was in the past a Zwischenmahlzeit (Vesper) between breakfast and midday meal. Back when the majority of people had labor intensive jobs, you needed that extra fuel to keep going. The Laugenbrezn, or Kaisersemmel debate is still not settled. :P

[tony2heads]

Emotional support

Mine is the Famous Grouse, but I might lean on a Monkey Shoulder

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: Emotional support

Famous Grouse

Let me be the first to saw "eww".

Mind you, my father (somewhat famed as a whisky snob^W expert) used to drink it (and we still have a half-bottle in the cupboard that I inherited after he died in 2011 - haven't had the heart to tip it down the drain).

My preference lies more in the direction of good single malts (current favourite is the English Whisky Companies "Double Cask" single malt. Ver' ver' naice).

Some of the cheaper own-brand single malts from Saisbury or Lidl are also acceptable if you want something cheaper than the stuff from EWC.

[0laf]

TLDR

I take it his support animal is a bit of a Growler?

But I would like to say I applaud this hero of mankind for attempting to get the emotional support framework necessary for menkind in place for us all.

[big_D]

emotional support animal

Is that really a thing? Never heard of it, living here in Germany.

[Carpet Deal 'em]

Re: emotional support animal

Yes. They've got no legal protection(that's reserved for trained service dogs and, to a lesser extent, miniature ponies), but some places afford them accommodation not available to pets.

[big_D]

Re: emotional support animal

Crazy world...

[Version 1.0]

He should move to New Orleans

Walking around with a beer in or any drink the streets and riding on a tram is perfectly legal so long as it's in a plastic or paper cup.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

John Smiths

Acrobatic Dog...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkBIIZcLmQQ