back to article Is it a make-up mirror? Is it a tiny frisbee? No, it's the bonkers Cyrcle Phone, with its TWO headphone jacks

Oh, CES. Each year, interspersed between the big product launches from Dell and Samsung are smaller companies, often with some truly bonkers kit. Take, for example, the Cyrcle Phone. It’s round. Like, really round. Squint a bit, and it looks like a high-tech make-up mirror running stock Android 9.0 Pie. It has two headphone …

  1. Julz Silver badge
    Joke

    I'll get around to posting a comment later...

  2. David Lawrence

    Dead on arrival

    Prepare the hole in the ground - more landfill coming soon.

    1. rmv

      Re: Dead on arrival

      Do you mind if I make a suggestion? Don't dig there, dig it elsewhere

      You're digging it round and it ought to be square

      1. GlenP Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Dead on arrival

        A pint is on its way for that reference!

        1. Andy Law

          Re: Dead on arrival

          A cup of tea would be more appropriate, surely?

          1. msknight

            Re: Dead on arrival

            Careful. After all, they dug up the ET cartridges.

            1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
              Alert

              Re: Dead on arrival

              A hole in the ground so big and sort of round it was

              Well it's not there now, the ground's all flat

              And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat And that's that

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Dead on arrival

            Only if you remove the ceiling...

    2. EVP Bronze badge

      Re: Dead on arrival

      No way, I’m sure their product will run cyrcles around the competition.

  3. KittenHuffer Silver badge
    Coat

    I can't wait for it to roll off the production line!

    1. JulieM Silver badge

      Given the name, it'll probably roll off the production line like a red rubber ball .....

    2. DJV Silver badge

      "Roll"

      Yep, I bet it will roll fantastically.

      Now, instead of the age-old tedium of dropping your phone onto the pavement/sidewalk and instantly smashing the screen, you will now have the delightful choice of outcomes where you drop it and watch it continue to roll:

      a) into the road, where it will miraculously escape all the thundering traffic wheels - though you, chasing it in a panic, won't.

      b) into the road and straight down a drain - I wonder if those dual headphone sockets are waterproof...

      c) into the road where it will come to rest (wedged more like) in some tram tracks totally unharmed, though you, of course, will be unable to unwedge it before the oncoming tram reduces it (and possibly you as well) to its (and your) component molecules.

      d) off the pathway in the local park and onto the grass in front of the man driving the motorised mowing machine. The man is, of course, oblivious to your shouting as he is wearing headphones and listening to a very old Genesis song, yum de dum de dum.

      e) off the pathway in the local park and onto the grass before coming to an abrupt halt in a fresh and only partially concealed doggie "present" that the dog's owner couldn't be arsed to bag up and dispose of properly.

      f) after its sharper than expected edge has sliced off at least one of your toes as you were stupid enough to wear sandals.

      1. Youngone Silver badge

        Re: "Roll"

        ...he is wearing headphones and listening to a very old Genesis song, yum de dum de dum.

        Supper's Ready then? Sounds like it.

        1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

          Re: yum de dum de dum.

          "I Know What I Like (in Your Wardrobe)"

          It's one o'clock and time for lunch

          Yum de dumb de dumb

          When the sun beats down and I lie on the bench

          I can always hear them talk

          etc.

  4. Andy Non Silver badge

    Another circular phone

    doing the rounds.

    1. Giovani Tapini Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Another circular phone

      That pun was wheely bad...

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Another circular phone

      I tyre of this appalling wordplay! These puns ain't exactly revolutionary and they're no better spoke than written...

      1. anthonyhegedus Silver badge

        Re: Another circular phone

        Shall I get my cock out?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Another circular phone

          Only if you want us to laugh.

  5. mittfh
    Joke

    No release date...

    ... so presumably it will arrive when they get a round tuit...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: No release date...

      Back in the late 1970s either Oldsmobile or Caterpillar (forget which) actually struck some medallions with "1 Tuit" on one side and "You have now got a round tuit" on the other. A colleague was given one on completion of a project and I was actually mildly envious.

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: No release date...

        That's older than that, I received a Round Tuit birthday card in the '60s.

        Anyway with this idea it's a case of Phone a Round...

  6. overunder Silver badge

    Rotating text would be something to see. Most things rotate by 90 degrees only but, I can't lie, if they get this thing to rotate text smoothly as it rolls, it would be my first time seeing that.

  7. Evil Scot

    Alexa How popular are round screen devices?

    Spot the problem here.

  8. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

    Round phone,... yeah whatever,....

    .... but I do miss the days when Nokia kept bringing out totally bonkers designs. I might have to go and nostalge.

    Oh, I'm back,.... and it looks like 2003 was where Nokia truly hit peak bonkers.

    1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Round phone,... yeah whatever,....

      > Oh, I'm back....

      That was quick!

    2. Captain Hogwash
      Coat

      Re: I do miss the days...

      Don't worry, these things tend to go in cycles. It's bound to come around again.

  9. katrinab Silver badge
    Flame

    So that's who's been stealing all the headphone jacks.

  10. Fr. Ted Crilly

    well...

    Don't hold it wrong, look what happened last time.

  11. Kubla Cant Silver badge

    What can you expect from a company with a stupid name like "dTOOR "?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Coat

      If a marketing person had suggested that name to me, I'd have said, "Don't let d'Toor hit your arse on the way out?"

      1. HildyJ Silver badge
        Angel

        dTOOR is canceled

        Even with both headphone jacks, Huey Lewis would have problems hearing which is why he canceled all d TOORs. But as he would remind you, it's hip to be square.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB5YkmjalDg

    2. sbt Silver badge
      Facepalm

      It's a backwards name, certainly.

      Rootd, in fact.

      I thought all these new TLDs were supposed to put an end to the crazy short name wars with the vowels MIA.

  12. msknight

    On the plus side...

    ...you don't need to rotate the phone when you're looking at landscape or portrait images.

    I wonder if it has a camera and, if so, does it take circular pictures?

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      They've

      already got a phone that takes circular pictures if their website is anything to go by.

    2. ElReg!comments!Pierre

      Re: On the plus side...

      Recently I went to a print shop to get a photo printed as a gift for an old lady. The snap had been shot by my wife on her smartphone (Ugh) so it was in 3:2 format (re-ugh). I took care to re-frame it properly and change it to the proper 4:3 format for photographs, only to have the millenial shopkeeper tell me that she'd have to crop it as it was not in a standard format.

      Now what if I had come with a round pic !

      1. really_adf

        Re: On the plus side...

        The snap had been shot by my wife on her smartphone (Ugh) so it was in 3:2 format (re-ugh). I took care to re-frame it properly and change it to the proper 4:3 format for photographs, only to have the millenial shopkeeper tell me that she'd have to crop it as it was not in a standard format.

        "Proper photographs" - that is, on 35mm film - are 3:2 (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/135_film). Hence 6x4 (inch) prints.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Coat

          Re: On the plus side...

          Proper photographs are either 15 on 120 (6x4.5, 4:3) or 12 on square (6x6) or 6x7. Or half plate. Or full plate. "35mm" is repurposing ciné film for compact cameras.

          Mine's the one with the Mamiya 645 in the pocket big heavy canvas bag with tripod. And the Bronica for studio work.

          1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

            Re: On the plus side...

            The thing with photos is you can mount them at 90°!

    3. poohbear

      Re: On the plus side...

      Only if it has a round lens.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: On the plus side...

        Some early cameras did take circular photos as it maximised the field of view of the limited lenses of the day, and portraits also resembled the elliptical or circular framing of miniatures.

        We tend to forget that rectangles are not "natural" to human beings.

  13. Come to the Dark Side

    Hmm, time to create a Stargate screensaver...

    1. nichomach

      [TEAL'C]"Indeed!"[/TEAL'C]

    2. Jamie Jones Silver badge
  14. The Bobster
    Joke

    If Google smart spectacle users were called Glassholes will purchasers of this device be called Cyrcle Jerks?

    1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
      Pint

      That one made me laugh out loud! Best of a good crop of puns today ----> Cheers!

  15. Alister Silver badge

    Not round

    Released in 2003, the Nokia 7600 boasted a head-turning round chassis

    Not round, ellipsoidal.

  16. Jamie Jones Silver badge

    On the right track...

    ... still a bit too wide for the hand, though. Now if they narrowed it a bit, and contoured it to fit the hand more naturally, they may have a winning design, back like the phone shapes of 20 years ago...

    Oh, and for a communications company, they don't have much to say - their website has an average of 20 words per screen. Crappy PR faff for the hard of concentrating. Hardly trendsetting.

    1. Criggie

      Re: On the right track...

      Vaguely reminds me of a small discus, or a skimming stone.

  17. nichomach

    The headphone splitter thing is real, as evinced by my daughter & her gf.

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      I'm pretty sure my Android phone will only output audio to one Bluetooth device at a time, and I think that plugging in headphones would turn off the BT audio, so the only way to share audio with someone would be a headphone splitter.

      At least they're sharing headphones, and not just using the phone speaker and subjecting you to tinny reproductions of whatever 'the youth' listen to these days.

  18. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge
    FAIL

    It's this...

    It's this sort of vacuous and meaningless marketing bollocks that supports my view that it's really the engineers that should do the advertising. From their website...

    "A non-rectangular phone for non-rectangular people, the new Cyrcle Phone exists to inspire a world where you can be you"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's this...

      I can bet no engineers are involved... except social engineering for a scam!

    2. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: It's this...

      Not to mention "sharing is the new black". Almost made the bile come up.

      At first glance, that website is something that I interpret as a massive sham and want nothing to do with.

      I'm obviously not the target market.

      Then again, when I read "dTOOR founder Christine Cyr", the name of the phone became quite obvious.

      1. Stork Silver badge

        Re: It's this...

        You remind me of something I saw in one of my significant other's glossy magazines: "brown is the new black!"

        It totally derailed an engineer with interest in photography...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Give us back your nerd cred now!

    There was already a *true* circular display, colour LCD at that, released by Motorola. The Aura: https://www.gsmarena.com/motorola_aura-2562.php

    By noting a Nokia instead, may you please hand back your nerd cred certificate now, for immediate shredding!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Give us back your nerd cred now!

      Also the Toshiba G450, which combined being an Internet dongle with being a usable phone. I used one with an early thin and light laptop, for the era (2008-2009) it was jaw-dropping for many people. Especially when I dialled on-screen and made the call using a Bluetooth headset. The point was, you could actually disconnect it from the computer and make phone calls with it directly. If you had tiny hands.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Mushroom

        Re: Give us back your nerd cred now!

        Still, looks like something that should be nuked from orbit, just to be safe. D:

  20. Barry Rueger

    Kids these days...

    Two headphone jacks? Sony did that forty years ago with original cassette tape Walkman.

    1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Kids these days...

      Yes, but the Walkman was a rubbish phone.

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: but the Walkman was a rubbish phone.

        Yes, but in those days Simplex communication was not a bad method of communication. Slow. but effective for leisurely conversations. Record your message on the walkman, pop the cassette into a mailer and send it to the recipient, who will then record their message and send it back to you.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What's this obsession with headphone jacks of late ?

    I try and do all I can to avoid using mine, as it will be where physical wear and tear (headphone jack and USB port) where the failure will occur that will force me to buy a new phone.

    Magnetic USB connector and bluetooth earbugs, and my phone should last until the Next Big Thing.

    Oh, and my battery can be replaced.

    1. JohnFen Silver badge

      Re: What's this obsession with headphone jacks of late ?

      Headphone jacks are incredibly useful. I consider one essential, mostly because I have yet to see bluetooth earbuds that sound good, can go at least a full day without recharging, and don't drop out on me every so often.

      I've never had a headphone socket (or USB, for that matter) fail on me, but I confess that I appear to be charmed or something -- I also seem to be the only person who can use a phone for more than a couple of years without cracking the screen, despite not using a case.

      1. Richard 12 Silver badge
        Gimp

        Re: What's this obsession with headphone jacks of late ?

        I've never had a headphone jack sockey wear out or break on any device. That socket is very, very robust and has had many decades of abuse and tweaking.

        I have had many USB mini-B and micro-B sockets break.

        They aren't comparable.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What's this obsession with headphone jacks of late ?

          A battery will wear out (2 years?) before a headphone jack will. But I guess it also depends how well the phone is made, and how easy repairs / replacements are (a swappable battery is easier than a soldered jack).

          The only time I've had a headphone jack break is when knocking/dropping the thing it's plugged into. Which by any case, if you knock/drop could also break anything (bluetooth included).

    2. james_smith Silver badge

      Re: What's this obsession with headphone jacks of late ?

      Headphone jacks are also great for connecting to car stereos, much more reliable than USB or Bluetooth in my experience.

  22. Dr_N Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Cyrcle

    How's that pronounced then? Like circle but with a broad New York accent?

    Probably needs a good celeb endorsement. Paris ... ?

  23. dtl
    WTF?

    Circle or square?

    Isn't it a wee bit ironic that my browser won't display anything on circlephone.com until I enable JavaScripts from squarespace.com?

    1. JohnFen Silver badge

      Re: Circle or square?

      I laughed at that as well -- but I didn't allow the JS to run, so I never got to actually see the website. Screw you, Squarespace.

  24. This post has been deleted by its author

  25. SuperGeek

    Gives new meaning...

    To the term "Phoning around!"

  26. Sleep deprived

    Round display?

    I don't see a round display. Rather a square display on a a curvy, hard-to-hold device.

  27. EVP Bronze badge

    Ingenious!

    With two headphone jacks they can make a courageous move twice! First goes away one jack, then the other one. Then the whole company disappears in one big courageous bang, along with VC investments. Voilà, their product roadmap for years 2020-2022.

    I apologize for being a bit snarky. Their fine product will sell well and the two founders will become rich.

  28. OssianScotland Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Cyrcular phones

    should be powered by a Raspberry Pi, Shirley?

  29. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    I wonder how many people...

    ...have signed up for their circular.

  30. Richard Scratcher

    Okay pilgrims, let's get these icons into a cyrcle

    It could support a novel layout for the keypad display. With the digits laid out in a ring, you could touch the one you want and then swipe clockwise to dial it.

  31. Graham Dawson Silver badge

    make it smaller, maybe 2 to 3 inches in diameter, and put it on a chain. perfect.

    1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

      You thinking dapper tasteful fob watch, or gaudy chest-hair-nestling medallion...?

  32. Phil Kingston

    2021?

    So it'll be hitting the market just as the latest Bluetooth spec that allows tangle-free audio output to more than one set of headphones?

  33. handle bars

    I use that Nokia as an example of when to fire people for being out of touch with the market place. It should have been a concept and never a key launch product. It was the first sign Nokia was designing for it's own art not for the needs of the actual users

  34. imanidiot Silver badge

    Marketards

    Designed by marketeers completely devoid from realism living in their own universe. A circular device is not easier to hold, nor likely more intuitive to work with. More likely, they managed to score a whole heap of cheapo circular displays left over from a test run from a manufacturer and never intend to deliver more than a single batch of devices (This is actually more common than you think. It is also the reason some kickstarters fail to deliver anything, because they find out they sold 200k devices, when they only have 20k pieces of a critical component, and buying 180k additional parts is prohibitively expensive)

  35. Dave559 Bronze badge

    trashbat.co.ck

    Very sadly, the Nathan Barley website featuring the equally innovative Wasp T12 Speechtool, which had the most excellent domain trashbat.co.ck, is no longer online, and is not very well archived by archive.org.

    There are times when I am absolutely convinced that Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris actually do live somewhen in the future, but periodically came back in time to produce certain tv shows as dire warnings of our fates to come...

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020