London's Met Police splash the cash on e-learning 'cyber' training for 4k staffers The Metropolitan Police Service dispatched more than 4,000 staff to attend so-called "cyber" training courses over the past two years. The e-learning course "Cyber Crime and Digital Policing – First Responder" was completed by 4,534 employees. Over half were student officers although three detective chief inspectors and four …
This must mean the end to cyber and online crime in this country. The police will understand it, recognise it, and be fully trained to solve it!
</sarcasm>
It sounds more like cumpulsory online training courses for the new recruits. And it would have just been a bunch of slide and simple questions for them to answer. And probably a final test where they had to score 70% or higher to 'pass'!
My job title at Bigger Blue was "Boffin at Large"; it was even on my business cards (only because they wouldn't let me use my preferred "Chief Cook & Bottle Washer"). My actual position? Floating Senior Member of the Technical Staff. I wandered from department to department, putting out fires.
I put my title down as "Systems Engineer, DevOps Specialist and Backend Developer with additional abilities to vacuum floors on the way out at night"*. It is generally known as a "Full Stack Engineer" although nobody seems to know exactly what "Full Stack" means.
* Subject to the insertion of the correct appliance.
Ah. yes, "it happens in the cloud", meaning the speaker has absolutely zero idea how computers and networking actually work. Just eyeball any introduction level textbook on networking theory from the 1980s. Almost all of them have many drawings with a cloud-shaped squiggle to indicate where the "too difficult for management to understand" bits hang out and work their magic. Many advanced level texts from the era also have the cloud squiggle.
The name "cloud computing" was already a fairly common meme by the time Y2K rolled around. Most of us with some experience in the field tried to stop it, because we could see where it was heading ... marketing-driven beancounters running the centralized computer service bureau again, just like in the mainframe days.
And here we are. Everybody has a super-computer on their phone (with matching local storage!), and yet the sheeple GreatUnwashed have been brainwashed into thinking that somehow "the cloud" is better/safer/faster than local. The mind absolutely boggles.
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I passed the Police Initial Recruitment Test, and it was laughably old school. Nothing on cybercrime or anything like it (some logic problems, like describing burglary, but nothing even as high tech as credit card theft)
Done and pen and paper, natch.
They could do with making it a bit more modern re: cybercrime and any crime that involves for the normal constables, but a small step would be heaving forward to modern crimes. I mean, one of the questions involved a milkman...
Anon as I'm not stupid (though I may return to the scene of this crime)
The Met and all similar services have a hell and a heck of a lot to learn about who and/or what is and where are cyber criminals based and highly prized as much valued most valuable residents? Can you think of anywhere special and realistic on Earth?
We wish them [the Met and similar others] well in the experimental experience though ..... for it is sure to be a right rocky road every sure step of the way.
A few words of advice to the likes of the Met and similar others ...... Be Aware and Beware of Emerging Ill Mental Health Problems in Volunteered Forces and Spent Official Sources. The Attrition Rate in Many a Theatre of Operations is Extremely High.
It's all very well for those of us who've spent 25 years in IT to make snide remarks.
If you think you could do better, feel free to do your civic duty, take a 50+% pay cut, go and join the police, and improve things.
Yes I'm sure the force has its faults - like every organisation. But there are a lot of good eggs doing a good job that I couldn't do if I wanted to.
Police already spend way too much time dealing with people offended by comments made on social media, be it twitter or facebook.
I assume this cyber training is how to do deal with these easy cleanup rate + good for stats 'hate crimes' a bit faster as cyber does just mean something on the internet to them. They will be taught how to make requests to service providers and how to be a voyeur over your ICR (Internet connection records) but I doubt there will be any actual real cyber crime training.
The police need to stop spending limited resources attending obvious joke twitter comments or the 5th time a persistent caller calls about a comment they take offence too, even when its not directed at them, and that old age saying 'catch real criminals'.
does this mean that next time I submit something to Action Fraud, I'll get a reply or even an acknowledgement that my submitted data exists? w w w . a c t i o n f r a u d . p o l i c e . u k . don't answer. hangon. you didn't. (by the way, it would be really, really amazing, if action fraud also bought up .com and .co.uk domains. so that...you know....people over 60 (or something) don't get really strange websites when they type in a website url they don't know exists. just. you know. webbernet stuff)
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