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back to article Ad network ransomware crook to flog £5k Rolex after court confiscates £270k in ill-gotten gains

A jailed hacker who profited from the Angler Exploit Kit has been ordered to sell his £5,000 Rolex watch after the National Crime Agency (NCA) applied to confiscate £270,000 of criminal proceeds from him. Zain Qaiser, 25, formerly of Barking in London, has been ordered to pay £270,864.47 to the British state following a …

  1. Shadow Systems
    Coat

    If he's angry over losing the money...

    Would that make him Barking mad?

    I'll get my coat... =-)P

    1. Commswonk

      Re: If he's angry over losing the money...

      Would that make him Barking mad?

      The correct expression is "One Stop Short of East Ham"...

    2. macjules

      Re: If he's angry over losing the money...

      "Zain Qaiser, 25, formerly of Barking in Essex (FTFY) and now of HMP Much Hadham" I presume?

  2. Tom 7

    Something about doing time...

    cmon El Reg you get paid for this shit!

  3. gymychoo

    "Qaiser spent the proceeds of his criminality on stays in high-end hotels, prostitutes, gambling, drugs and luxury items including a £5,000 Rolex watch," - The rest he just wasted.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Almost there

    Well done to all involved for catching him etc

    I'm just wondering how he is going to pay back £270k if it has mostly been spent on a luxury lifestyle?

    If he can only get maybe £200k together in 3 months while I assume in prison why should he bother? 2 extra years in prison for £200k... I'm sure a lot of people would go for that even if they hadn't done anything wrong. That watch alone is a deposit on a flat by itself etc.

    1. katrinab Silver badge
      Flame

      Re: Almost there

      £5k is a deposit on a garden shed, garden land not included.

      It might just about cover the legal fees for an actual house.

    2. dnicholas

      Re: Almost there

      £5k deposit on a flat? Have you escaped from the 1980s?

      1. Pedantic
        Happy

        Re: Almost there

        £5k Deposit, would be fine for a Small/moderate 2 bedroomed terrace seeing as that are still plenty for sale around @ 100k as a cursery glance at something like right move shows. Not everybody lives in London (or anywhere else where the house prices are in fantasy land) :-)

      2. joshimitsu

        Re: Almost there

        For London, the 5k is a deposit for a tenancy agreement.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Almost there

      It's easy. All they need to do is let him set up a ransomware scam, he'll have the money in no time.

  5. Commswonk

    Oh How Wonderful...

    ...legitimate pornography companies...

    An truly excellent oxymoron, if I may say so!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh How Wonderful...

      You laugh, but after Brexit we may start seeing the British kite mark tattooed to porn stars genitals as a stamp of quality.

      I for one think this is necessary to standardise the porn industry and raise standards.

      Who doesn't want to know that their pornstar is getting the welfare they deserve and being bonked sustainably?

  6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    How many bean-counters did it take to calculate the forfeiture down to 8 significant figures, especially seeing as the watch is only estimated at one?

    1. katrinab Silver badge
      Flame

      Zero beancounters, and that is a problem.

      It is a result of a discussion between police officers and lawyers, who know how to add things together, but don't know what things should be added together.

      They use the same sort of mathematical techniques that were used to calculate Boris Johnson's 50,000 new nurses and 40 new hospitals, so a lot of double and triple counting, and counting of things that shouldn't be counted, and adding stuff together without checking the units match first.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's Frozen-Margarita-Machine Time At The NCA!

    Wooohooo! Party-On!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Happy crooks

    He must be happy to be in a country he can basically get away with these crimes. Clean people out of money, only to have to give a little bit to the government (like a tax) so he can walk around and do it again. Ya know he has a lot more stashed away.

    1. teknopaul

      Re: Happy crooks

      He did get 6 - 8 years locked up as well as the "fine".

      He might consider a job after that.

      1. Thicko

        Re: Happy crooks

        8 years so with good behavious, out in three or four. Less if you consider the time on remand. At least the stay at Goodayes hospital might put him off a life of crime!

        1. tfewster
          Joke

          Re: Happy crooks

          Does DDOSing Ad networks count as good behaviour?

          1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

            That is actually a legitimate question

  9. iSaff

    Absurd sentence

    The sentencing in the UK is a joke, with good behavior and remand they're out, and the crime has paid off. We've just had 2 high profiled disasterious releases with Usman Khan and Joseph McCann, we need to look at this again.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Absurd sentence

      For a start, if the original judge describes the convict as a menace to society/children/etc require the case to go back before a judge before the release can be confirmed with the judge going through the original summing up and judgement as well as the case being put forward for release.

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