The good ship HMRC Privateer. There she sails me hearties
"So tell me again Mortimer. Why can't we have the exact same tax set up as the likes of Amazon and Starbucks?"
"It's complicated Mr Smith. The set up costs would almost wipe out any gains, and HMRC would be constantly clawing at our accounts for the slightest error. It just isn't worth the bother"
"£100,000 in tax is worth the bother Mortimer. I'm not giving up until a solution is worked out"
The months pass...
"I've got some bad news boss. Our systems have been compromised by hackers and they're demanding £500,000 to unlock them"
"Oh! That's not good news. We best pay them immediately"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. It makes sense"
"It's a lot of money boss"
"Yes, but is it tax deductible Mortimer?"
"Well it is a cost to the company"
"And this horrible crime could potentially happen every year?"
"Am I hearing you correctly?"
"Yes you are. I appear to have minimised our taxes with a tactic not too dissimilar to paying off a brand owner in the Caymans, and without giving HMRC cause to blink."