Russian spacebot stranded outside the ISS as Soyuz fails to dock

Russia's robotic Soyuz MS-14 test mission hit a glitch over the weekend after a botched attempt to dock with the ISS. The uncrewed spacecraft (save for a vaguely terrifying robot) appeared unable to lock onto the orbiting outpost as it approached. The cause of the failure, the Kurs docking system, will have left some with a …

[Empire of the Pussycat]

revenge

skybot: open the pod bay doors please, alex

alex: i'm sorry skybot, i'm afraid i can't do that

[BebopWeBop]

Re: revenge

OK Dave, cocking gun (given previous reports)

[Sureo]

The current situation .... is "difficult, but under control."

Is that the same as SNAFU?

[My other car WAS an IAV Stryker]

Re: The current situation .... is "difficult, but under control."

SNAFU sounds right to me; not a FUBAR or CF (Charlie Foxtrot) yet.

MIR's collision (as referenced in the article) was a FUBAR, as was Skylab's orbit issue.

[IceC0ld]

Re: The current situation .... is "difficult, but under control."

I was thinking it's more a TITSUP personally :o)

[Robert Helpmann??]

Re: The current situation .... is "difficult, but under control."

Soon to be BOHICA.

[NoneSuch]

All these ports are yours, save Zvezda.

Attempt no docking there.

[Anonymous Coward]

If only they had TARS.

[OssianScotland]

TSARS, Shirley?

[Dave 32]

Transporter

What they really need is a transporter, so that they can just beam the supplies aboard.

[Muscleguy]

Re: Transporter

And a spare universe to do the necessary calculations. An assessment of the necessary information and processing came to the conclusion that you would need to use the rest of the universe for the calculation, ALL the rest.

Also that was so you could make a local copy of something. Which isn’t really transporting it and would not solve the space station’s supply needs. Instead of a robot and supplies they would need al the raw materials to make them.

Also considering a recent article on the station’s power problems it would seem they don’t have the power to do it.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Transporter

Non-FTL quantum teleportation might be possible. Those are strange sounding words, but could be condensed down to something understandable and non "magic".

You basically make a kind of quantum scanner, that sweeps over an object (think lasters, or camera), and at the atomic scale, atom by atom, you turn the matter into energy/photons and project it (think lasers/radio transmission) to another device.

The second device sprays those atoms back onto a plate to reassemble them (think inkjet printer/3d printer).

If you get the laser/quantum teleportation correct, you get an exact atom by atom copy from one end of the system to the other end. Limited by the scanning time, transportation time and reassembly time. No "calculation" is needed, as the quantum entanglement/teleportation system is rather easy (on a single atom scale, we can already do this)...

... doing it for an entire person has it's problems. As while every atom is an exact copy, and reaches it's destination... you may not be able to glue them back together as easily as teleporting a watch! XD

[mrobaer]

Re: Transporter

"... doing it for an entire person has it's problems. As while every atom is an exact copy, and reaches it's destination... you may not be able to glue them back together as easily as teleporting a watch!"

Refer to Seth Brundle's fix: Teach the machine to be made crazy by the flesh.

[The Oncoming Scorn]

Re: Transporter

For a moment there I was thinking Transporter of the Eagle variety.

Icon - For when John Koenig is flying one.

[Long John Brass]

Re: Transporter

+1 Internets for the Space-1999 reference :)

But Wasn't Alan Carter the hot-shot pilot? Not Koenig?

[The Oncoming Scorn]

Re: Transporter

Carter was the chief pilot, the final tally was:

John Koenig 7 Eagle crashes.

Alan Carter has 4 crashes (2 of them as copilot to Koenig - A future Koenig and Carter were killed in an Eagle crash in Another Time, Another Place).

Icon - Koenigs written off another one.

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: Transporter

Transporter? I was thinking Jason Statham. Wasn't everybody?

[Note to self: Must remember to post anon.]

[Ken 16]

Re: Transporter

I was watching it again, not bad for it's era, especially in terms of diversity and equality - all crew wear basically the same uniform and there's a mix of gender and skin tone.

[Mark Exclamation]

I think the whole thing is Kurs(ed)!

[Chozo]

SciFi trivia teaser...

Name one movie where having a giant robot on board went well for the crew...

[Geoff May (no relation)]

Re: SciFi trivia teaser...

WALL-E

Robots

[phuzz]

Re: SciFi trivia teaser...

Pacific Rim (are they robots?)

Interstellar

Aliens (but not Alien)

Futurama

Star Trek TNG

some Star Wars

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

[Securitymoose]

Siberia will be getting a few more visitors after this.

Perhaps we could outsource all our software development to Russia too.

[Anonymous Coward]

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again...

Not great but not terrible.

[DontFeedTheTrolls]

Why don't they give Donald J Trump a call, he's the smartest man on the planet, he knows these things, probably better than anybody. He'll tell them how to fix it in no time.

[Anonymous Coward]

He'll identify the cause of the fault.

taking bets on it being a chinese plot with huwei thrown into the mix (just for the hell of it)

[Anonymous Coward]

Why don't they give Donald J Trump a call, he's the smartest man on the planet, he knows these things, probably better than anybody.

Well he's already on the Russian payroll, so it wouldn't be a problem

[Anonymous Coward]

The REAL reason

A TSA jobsworth (ie - anyone employed by the TSA), wouldnt let it dock because it had liquids on board.

[Conundrum1885]

TSA

Nah, it has lithium ion batteries, dangerous materials (hydrazine, N2O4) and also firearms. Of course its going to get blocked.

On the flip side its all fixed now, only a slight maLffFffFfffffFunCtioN