Proof that emojis don't work
1) emojis are pictograms
2) ancient Egyptians used pictograms
3) there are no more ancient Egyptians, only modern ones
4) therefore, er...
Had much, you know, 👌👈 recently? Perhaps you need to ⬆️ your emoji 🙃 game 🎮 as new research 👨🎓 has linked ⛓ using the cutesy online comms aid with going on more dates 💑 and getting laid 💦🍆. Published in the journal PLoS One, the paper by boffins at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute, which explores "sexuality, …
The Picts left no writing which is why we have only a partial Pictish dictionary gleaned from placenames which are not Gaelic, Norse or English. There's an eminence hereabout whose name means Hill, Hill, Hill, Hill in all 4 languages. They did leave us picture stones though so their name is still apt even if it was applied by the Romans and related to their woad daubings on their warriors.
The history has it that when the Kingdom of Alba was formed by an alliance between the Scotti, the Picts and the Strathclyde Britons (who spoke a chthonic language). Everyone apparently agreed to use Gaelic and the Picts gave up their language. A lot of folk new other languages anyway to enable trade so it seems it was no big deal.
As is the way of such things it was formed in reaction to an outside threat, in this case the Viking kingdom of Northumbria which used to stretch up into the Lothians. But they invaded Pictland and lost the Battle of Dun Nechtan and their king was killed. Which was enough to make the locals feel 'we stand together or fall apart'.
Thanks I knew it was wrong but couldn't think of the right thing.
They were exiles from England pushed out by the Saxons, some went into Wales, other into Cumbria, others over the sea to Brittany.
There are people here in Dundee who get very antsy about Gaelic signs claiming it was 'never used here, we're Picts/Norse'. Except the place names, including of Dundee say otherwise. Recently they tried to get Gaelic language classes for the public going but there was no takers. Annoyed me as I didn't know or I would have signed up. I suspect their marketing wasn't good enough.
But us Scots do do parochialism better than most places, unfortunately.
Cymru, Gymru or just plain old Wales
Well - the C/G things is quite understandable (the letters mutate according to context). The Wales bit is to cope with the poor benighted ones that don't speak Welsh :-)
(2ndOldestBrother has recently added Welsh to the other languages he speaks [Spanish, Portugese and some French] on the basis that our mother was from Wales. I have no excuse for learning some Gaidhlig other than Runrig)
They were exiles from England pushed out by the Saxons, some went into Wales, other into Cumbria
All of Britan (at one point) spoke one variation of the Brythonic langauges (maybe apart from the Picts - we don't know enough about Pictish to make that determination although it's likely it was). What happened with the Saxons was cultural and linguistic domination of the areas that they conquered and the bits that they didn't (Wales, parts of Cornwall, The Highlands, Cumbria) carried on speaking the same languages that they always had (with some cross-fertilisation from Saxon/Jute/Anglic).
Brittany is slightly different - the influx that lead to Brittany speaking a Celtic language started in (probably) the 4th century - possibly on the orders of a British chieftan that tried to himself up as Roman Emperor and settled Celtic troops there. There was more migrating during the Saxon invasions of England but they joined an already thriving Celtic community that had already displaced a lot of the previously-Gaulish culture.
Of course, France being France, Breton isn't recognised as an official language in the same way that Welsh, Cornish, Gaidhlig and Gelg are.
I think saying ‘everyone agreed to use Gaelic and the Pict’s gave up their language” is a gross. misrepresentation - esp. as there is not a lot of actual evidence knocking around and there were frequent incursions and much warring happening after the Roman’s departed Britannia further South ... inc invasion from Ireland too.
Kingdom of Alba was formed by an alliance between the Scotti, the Picts and the Strathclyde Britons
Neil Oliver (BBC archeologist/historian - good at his job hence relagated to BBC4) has just started a series on the history of Scotland.
The first one dealt with the formation of the kingdom - essentially it goes like this:
1. There are 4 separate kindoms (Picts, Gaels, and two lots of Britons). A Gael is exiled and ends up in the Pictish kingdom where he (eventually) becomes the Pictish kings right-hand-man.
2. Said exile then self-promotes himself to Pictish king by the traditional route of disposing of the current Pictish king and brings in lots of his Gaelic friends to help run the place and gradually sets about supressing Pictish culture.
3. The old Pictish kings kids were away in Ireland (staying with their aunt who had married an Iriah king) during their fathers assassination. They grow up safely in Ireland but, during the process, become more Gaelic than Pictish.
4. The kids grow up and, with the help of their uncles army, invade Pictland and remove the head of the usurper. The oldest kid becomes king.
5. All the Picts expect the new king to revert to being Pictish - this doesn't happen since, by this point, he's more Gaelic than the Gaels.
6. Later on, the kingdoms merge and, since the two biggest ones were Gaelic, the merged kingdom is largely Gaelic, including in language. Of course, the southern kingdoms then got invaded by various Angles and Jutes and their language replaced by a sister-language of Anglo-Saxon (which later became Scots).
Which nicely accounts for the reasons why the only Pictish that remained was in place names since the language fell out of general day-to-day use.
It's a process similar to what happened in England when the Saxons took over - the language changes not because the incomers kill off all the previous inhabitants but because, in order to deal with officials and nobles, everyone has to learn the language that the officials and nobles use and the old language gradually dies out leaving only place-names and various loan-words.
Very well worth seeing.
 Don't ever suggest that Scots is a dialect of English! They are quite clearly sister-languages with an amount of cross-fertilisation. And, if Old Friesan was still around, there would be three sisters.
Yes Neil Oliver’s History of Scotland, History of Celtic Britain and also Celts (with Alice Roberts) are all good and cover much of this in detail.
Also, The Story of Ireland with Fergal Keene overlaps too and is excellent to and padded out my Irish history.
Basically England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, and to a lesser extent France and Spain all feed into this common history and people are generally shat on by Nobles/Royalty etc and their assorted turf-wars for the last 2-3,000 years.
No-one will mention any historic Irish invasion/takeover of Scotland when belly-aching about Ireland being taken over by English Kings and becoming the first colony and the more recent impact of Scottish Protestants in Ulster in recent centuries.
Who needs emoji's when you can just use your personality to repel other humans. I mean emoji's don't keep keep you inside in front of a nice warm fire with a good book and a pet curled up beside you.
Plus when I offer to make people my eggplant cannelloni, the emoji's lead to some interesting responses...
Who needs emoji's what? Do you sell eggplant as well as prepare it?
Actually, the "s" is superfluous as well; the plural of emoji is emoji. Or possibly emojitachi, if you're talking about an assortment and want to emphasize that fact. A bit like writing "various emoji" in English.
I have genuinely learned something today. I had no idea a) that there was an eggplant (aubergine) emoji, b) that anyone could associate the vegetable with a penis, and c) that the emoji is widely used as a symbol for a penis. I think my utter bewilderment at the human race has hit an all-time high (or low, depending how you look at it!)
Maybe "Cont page 94" in Private Eye magazine doesn't mean what I thought then?
I thought it meant "This joke is continued on the same page in the next 94 issues of the magazine."
Regular reader! With a bit of a sense of deja vu, e.g. "Vivienne Westwood is a horrible boss", "Council closes library", "Jeremy Corbyn has a vegetable allotment" etc.
That was my first thought when I saw this study mentioned elsewhere. It linked to the actual study, and they are controlling for age because they realize younger people are more likely to use emojis.
Turns out these boffins are on top of it, unlike some of the studies with poor controls we sometimes read about on El Reg.
If I get sent something with lots of emojis then that person would definitely not be on my go to bed with list - my feelings are more in line with the emoji use makes you look like a moron report.
.. Though when I was younger, things were different, the bed partner did not need to be clever, attractive, etc. they just had to be there. But, after a while, the attraction of accumulating 3F "bedpost notches" wanes.
Fortunately my real life partner does not use emojis (well they do, but only when making "like" comments on their friends instagram posts (as its apparently de rigueur to use emojis on there)- and as I avoid insta like the plague then it does not affect me, so divorce papers not yet imminent)
There is no universally accepted emoji, but some of the options include:
Peach, though this more usually represents the rear opening rather than the front one
Cat face, as in pussy
The "OK" hand gesture - in some cultures this gesture has a very different meaning representing the body part you are looking for
Peaches have been good this season.
But I've been enjoying them without any thoughts of pleasures of a different kind.
Hmmm. Perhaps just as well if they're associated with the wrong orifice. I hope I can still enjoy them (the fruit) after reading that. At least the watermelon suggestion (below) conjures only a humorous/cartoonish image.
I have lived in the Far East and have no problem with the concept of ideographs. One can read texts much faster with them. My problem is more one of age. Kawaisugiru ne?
If I start using emoji now, it reeks desperately of trying to be down wif da yuuf. It seems as appropriate to me as if I were to start writing little love-hearts instead of dots over the letters i and j.
My pre-teen daughters like emoji and I have no problem with that. In fact, I'm using them to translate the subtle (or not so subtle) nuances in messages.
I feel sorry for my wife (who is also new to them and not especially enthralled by them) but is nonetheless obliged by social norms to understand them and use them more.
Are emoji context-sensitive or do they have a fixed meaning (aubergines/eggplants aside)?
If it's the latter, then a good manual is all the discerning autist needs. Surely the explicit nature of emoji should be an aid.
I still have my Kanji book (Hadamitzky & Spahn) but I find the brush-written Chinese characters to be a thing of beauty.
Emoji's can be a little too cute once I reached a certain age
( I think it was about the same time that farting contests at the workplace went out of fashion).
I've wondered what might come next, especially when/if user input really evolves beyond simple keypads?
I've even imagined a visual, syllabic system for English, like the Japanese kana.
I find the Japanese writing some of the most visually interesting and have started to appreciate a little bit about the more playful combinations & meanings.
How about something totally new for young and old morons alike, whether they are flirting or simply communicating?
What bait you use depends on what prey you seek. My hand-written notes (on paper) were a big part of landing the lady who has been my wife for several decades. When someone sends a store-bought card with _maybe_ a couple hearts and some initials below the mass-produced message, the depth of their desire/commitment is deducible. What I don't like to think too much about are the ones who send those stickers sold in in quantity by dollar stores for elementary school kids to use on Feb. 14. What are they fishing for?
Digital equivalents are similar...
I notice that this study made no attempt whatsoever to measure the effects of emojis on men and women separately.
For all we know, cutesy emojis make it 500% easier for women to get laid, and 400% harder for men to.
"Emojis make it easier for the average person to get laid!"
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