back to article The Pi who loved me: Licensed to SSL

"Hi, I am James Bond (Business Development Manager). We specialize in re-designing and re-developing websites if you are considering any of the following projects. Please let us know in case you are interested." – Spam email received by the author Bond stepped out of the lift on the ninth floor and strode rapidly down the …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Love it

    That's all :)

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: Love it

      Indeed, a pleasure to read.

      Looking forward to reading the rest in a future column.

      1. Mage Silver badge

        Re: Love it

        Far better than Flemings version. Not watched any of the films since maybe early '80s (and those were old ones on TV). Read some of the books as teen and thought they were poorer than the other spy thrillers or The Saint. ("Dad, what's a g-string?").

      2. Paul Crawford Silver badge

        Re: future column

        Surly you mean firth column?

  2. Secta_Protecta


    At least M is still a man in this version...

    1. Solarflare

      Re: Phew

      What kind of a barbarian objects to Dame Judi Dench?!?

      1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

        Re: Phew

        I must admit I had to start again once I realised it was the bloke version of M

      2. Hans 1

        Re: Phew


        and what about the little boy who lives down the lane?

      3. Secta_Protecta

        Re: Phew

        Dame Judi Dench or not, M is and always was a man. As is James Bond of course...

  3. James Anderson

    Best 007 pastiche since Terry Pratchits Que in "I love Lu Tze" or whatever it was called.

    1. WonkoTheSane

      Qu appeared in "The Thief of Time", the 26th Discworld novel.

      1. Psmo

        "The Thief of Time", the 26th Discworld novel.

        One of my favourites. Stand-alone, accessible and imaginative while not too in love with its own cleverness.

        Icon: Auditor

  4. Dan 55 Silver badge


    Missing a Sinclair BASIC version. I'm sure Sinclair BASIC is Q*'s preferred BASIC programming language so I can't less that pass.

    As it's Sinclair BASIC that'd probably be the Second Q's favourite BASIC, i.e. his John Cleese regeneration. The Third Q looks like he prefers JQuery or Python or somesuch nonsense.

    1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

      Re: FizzBuzz

      As it's Sinclair BASIC that'd probably be the Second Q's favourite BASIC, i.e. his John Cleese regeneration.

      John Cleese is already the third Quartermaster, Desmond Llewelyn was the second to play the role of Major Boothroyd (the first being Peter Burton in Dr. No).

      1. Snafu1

        Re: FizzBuzz

        Slight correction: Q in Dr No is never identified; Major Boothroyd was only identified as 'Armourer' in both the original Fleming book & the Connery film. Q appears as an individual only later in the series (film or book)

    2. Hans 1

      Re: FizzBuzz

      No Q's in the The Persuaders!... and you omitted Lord Sinclair ...

  5. cantankerous swineherd

    There are almost more Raspberry Pis on display than in the average middle-aged programmer's attic.


    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Does sir resemble that remark?

    2. bob, mon!

      Hey! I represent that crack!

      I 'aven't any attic....

  6. steelpillow Silver badge

    I've got my work cut out finding security-cleared cover for Moneypenny


    Just you wait 'til IR35 spreads beyond the IT Dept.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Rudolph Hucker the Third
    Black Helicopters

    I didn't get where I am today without leaving a trail of clusters of Raspberry Pi model 1's, 2's and 3's in my wake.

    I must have more Pi.

    Q, nip down to CPC Farnell and make sure you get all of their Pi 4's with 4GB RAM, before the public notices. We need them for the Colossus 2020 project.

    They say 4,800 will be available for delivery on 20/08/19

  9. Alan J. Wylie

    Back in the early 90's, I used to work in CNC machine tools for a James Bond. In the 50's or early 60's, the name didn't have the same connotations that it does now. I've also worked for an Elizabeth Taylor (her married name, don't blame her parents) and knew an elderly Steve Martin.

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: names

      My neighbour was Mark Hamill. He had to adopt a name when he went on the stage.

      1. Muscleguy

        Re: names

        I have gluten free cookbooks by Phil Vickery, no not that Phil Vickery.

        I have an uncommon surname and was amazed to discover I had a namesake publishing in the science literature. The guy not only had priority on me but he worked on cardiac MUSCLE. So searching me and muscle did not distinguish us. I had to insist on my middle initial in the literature. It has been dashed inconvenient but I'm sure he feels the same about me.

        I should add that my work has largely been on skeletal muscle. I do not work on smooth or cardiac muscle though I have had cause to interact with uterine muscle. Fantastic stuff uterine muscle: it can generate maximum force whilst maximally stretched. It has to but that doesn't make it less remarkable.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: names

          I've worked (IT consulting) for several royals and visited the palace after an unfortunate event that ended in newspapers (luckily without my name).

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: names

            Could be worse. I was nearly run over by one of the royals. About 2 seconds later I was nearly run over again, but that was not so fancy. It was the security detail, trying to catch up with a right royal driving.

            Do I have to tell you why I am anonymous?

    2. alferdpacker

      I went to school with a Roger Moore. And a Chris Brown :/

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ""I'd like my drink stirred, not shaken," said James Bond."

    Hmph. The REAL James Bond preferred it shaken, not stirred.

    1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

      Re: ""I'd like my drink stirred, not shaken," said James Bond."

      Both versions are used in the movies.

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