back to article Russian Jesus gives up food to meditate on how he can improve crypto messenger Telegram

It's coming up to 1pm, you haven't eaten a morsel in seven hours, and you've been smashing your head against the same work problem for the last two. What do you do? If you answered "go and get some lunch", you're an idiot. The titans of tech didn't get where they are today by fulfilling every basic human desire, did they? …

  1. iron Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    On Fridays I'm a Pizzatarian. We're waiting for the team delivery right now.

    Paris coz she looks like she could use a pizza.

    1. Cavehomme_

      I’m a WhatsAppian, getting indigestion from it though. What do you chaps recommend as an alternative diet, Telegramism or Signalism?

      1. AdamWill

        Conversationsism (it's XMPP only it actually doesn't completely suck now!)

        1. ds6
          Mushroom

          As a devout XMPPian, I must commit jihad on you for besmudging Our Great Name.

          It's a FEATURE.

  2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    How long can you fast for?

    A whole month is just about doable.

    I think a whole month should doable for most people. Depends a lot on your BMI when you start but your body quickly switches over to using reserves. It's a long time ago but I did at least three weeks whilst at university and could still cycle the 10 km each way, though really strenuous exercise and hard work can become difficult. I think I allowed myself cups of tea and even the odd glass of ftruit juice but it was essentially an extended fast. Given my current weight I'm sure I could manage six weeks!

    There's a nice article over at The Econmist about the current fads: apparently Oura rings are currently all the rage. But, I'm increasingly coming to think of some of these people as I do of professional athletes: most definitely not normal.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      WTF?

      Re: How long can you fast for?

      ...apparently Oura rings are currently all the rage.

      I saw that, clicked on the link and found that none of my guesses as to what an "Oura ring" might be were anywhere near the truth..... or anywhere near as SFW for that matter...

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: How long can you fast for?

        I delberately left that to the imagination! ;-) Somehow, it's depressing when so few of them have proper sexual fetishes.

      2. stiine Silver badge
        Unhappy

        Re: How long can you fast for?

        Likewise. I was so disappointed...

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: How long can you fast for?

        ..apparently Oura rings are currently all the rage.

        I read that as onion rings. It would appear that fasting isn't for me.

  3. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Trollface

    Post Pub Nosh

    Sending him a picture and menu of each Lester's creations per day should soon have him bounding out of this wagon

    1. stiine Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Post Pub Nosh

      Don't wait too long, the jolt might kill him, and that wouldn't be a good thing.

      but that beer --->

      is a good thing.

  4. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    This should be encouraged

    The idea of Silicon valley's gazilionaires all going on hunger strike would be laugh

    1. JetSetJim Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: This should be encouraged

      > Since zero food consumption improves clarity of thought [citation needed]

      If you're dead, are your thoughts clear?

      1. Fungus Bob
        Trollface

        Re: This should be encouraged

        Yep, completely invisible...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: This should be encouraged

        If you're dead, are your thoughts clear?

        Mr. Slant of Morecombe, Slant & Honeyplace certainly claimed it does. His rather spectacular posthumous legal career appears to support the claim.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just microdose acid :P

  6. Timmy B Silver badge

    Terrible Article

    Ketogenic diets are not unhealthy and play a huge part in treating both diabetes and epilepsy (particularly in children). My partner (who has a rare form of adult onset diabetes) has been involved in two dietary studies including one based on an ultra-low carb ketogenic diet (and a 600 calorie a day diet on a strict exercise regimen in which she actually managed to gain weight due to the weird metabolism she has) . You do not have to starve yourself or be unhealthy. You just don't eat carbs but replace them with proteins and fats - something we are better evolved to digest anyway.

    Try being a bit better read and more up to date, Richard Currie.

    1. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Terrible Article

      I'm aware of its therapeutic uses as you mention. The article is merely poking fun at weird trends among tech CEOs, not an attempt to undermine a valid treatment.

      1. Timmy B Silver badge

        Re: Terrible Article

        "a symptom known to the medical community as ketosis – when the body produces ketones in the absence of glucose. It's not healthy, nor did it spare him the ravages of pancreatic cancer"

        Is poking fun? Perhaps you need a refresher course at writing school.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Terrible Article

          "But he also made fasting fashionable for Silicon Valley in pursuit of "euphoria and ecstasy", a symptom known to the medical community as ketosis – when the body produces ketones in the absence of glucose."

          It's amazing how a few additional words helps establish the context.

          Or perhaps your desire to find offence was such that context wasn't important?

          1. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

            Re: Terrible Article

            "a symptom known to the medical community as ketosis"

            Well, it isn't a symptom. It's a mode of operation for the body. One we once relied heavily upon. Not having access to this mode of operation due to having relied on carbs for the entire life is a pretty big disadvantage. Hence going into ketosis a few times a year is a good thing to do. It stops you from being totally reliant on stored glucose, and hence stops you from horrible "sugar lows" -if you are so disposed.

          2. JJKing
            Facepalm

            Re: Terrible Article

            But he also made fasting fashionable for Silicon Valley in pursuit of "euphoria and ecstasy"

            I thought is was LSD and Ecstasy that gave the Appley one euphoria.

    2. Timmy B Silver badge

      Re: Terrible Article

      I don't care about up and down votes beyond inviting whoever downvoted this to put up an argument or shut up.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: Terrible Article

        I downvoted you for being off the mark (Silicon Valley fads) and then for being a snowflake. The body can use ketosis in extreme circumstances but it is not the norm and not something most people should been seeking to induce.

        As for Steve Jobs, it's known, and perhaps understandable, that he engaged in a lot of quackery once he was diagnosed. Don't wish pancreatic cancer on anyone because the outlook is generally very poor, but quackery doesn't help either.

        1. Timmy B Silver badge

          Re: Terrible Article

          Thanks for being "up for it". Not being a snowflake - just very experienced in this area. I disagree about it being used in extreme circumstances and what I've learned from the stuff my other half has been involved in (with some to UK universities) is that it may just be more of a standard way of our bodies working and something that in our evolution happened far more often. It's certainly a developing science.

      2. doublelayer Silver badge

        Re: Terrible Article

        I didn't vote either way, but let's try this argument: the article wasn't talking about treating diabetes. Perhaps these examples will help make the point.

        "Ketosis is potentially useful for treating diabetes, according to some studies.": Correct statement.

        "Ketosis is not useful under any circumstances.": Incorrect statement.

        "Ketosis is a healthy thing to do and will offer many benefits.": Incorrect statement as it is too broad

        "Ketosis was attempted by Steve Jobs when he obtained pancreatic cancer.": Correct statement, with many available sources

        "Ketosis did not fix his pancreatic cancer.": Correct statement.

        Phrase any correct statement with sarcasm to make a point, and it's still a correct statement. However, you focus on a statement the writer never made, and start saying some other things, some correct (such as the benefits for diabetes), and some incorrect (such as there being digestion benefits to a ketosis-inducing diet) that have nothing to do with the statements in the article. Are we on the same page now?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Terrible Article

        I didn't downvote you but I'm up for a food argument.

        A jaffa cake is a biscuit and those small round loaves of bread are muffins.

        Have at you!

        1. Timmy B Silver badge

          Re: Terrible Article

          "A jaffa cake is a biscuit and those small round loaves of bread are muffins."

          Those are not statements to start an argument.

          Those are statements to start WARS!

          1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
            Flame

            vi or emacs

            "discuss"

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Terrible Article

      "Ketogenic diets are not unhealthy and play a huge part in treating both diabetes and epilepsy"

      Under medical supervision and as a treatment for specific illnesses, yes, it can be useful. But during a potential future fad for baldness, self-medicated chemotherapy as opposed to a visit to the barber is probably not a viable solution.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Terrible Article

      '(and a 600 calorie a day diet on a strict exercise regimen in which she actually managed to gain weight due to the weird metabolism she has)'

      I understand she is your partner but ....... Really ?????

      What kind of metabolism creates mass from reduced energy input and increased energy expenditure?

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: What kind of metabolism

        It is a condition known in the medical world as surreptio crepito crustulam.

      2. Timmy B Silver badge

        Re: Terrible Article

        "What kind of metabolism creates mass from reduced energy input and increased energy expenditure?"

        Essentially it is a evolutionary throwback where our bodies attempted to deal with famine.

        Some people are able to detect decreases in the amount of food, or changes in the types of food being eaten and the body react by going into a kind of famine mode. Where food is stored rapidly. It's not something we need now in the west where food is generally plentiful, and may be linked to some of the high instances of obesity (in particular where the obese person is actually very fit and has little in the way of stored fat in and around organs). Often the changes this causes can cause pancreas issues and thus adult onset type one diabetes. It will result with people that sadly are diabetic and overweight yet are able to exercise very well and have excellent VO2 max levels, etc.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Terrible Article

          'Essentially it is a evolutionary throwback where our bodies attempted to deal with famine.'

          Yes, I understand that the metabolism slows due to the restricted energy input. However, assuming the exercise regime allowed for the metabolism slowdown ( a reasonable assumption if stipulated by a healthcare professional ), it doesn't explain the weight gain. Neither does the rest of your post.

          Unfortunately, I remain sceptical.

  7. Sulphurcocky1

    huh

    Oh, in a world so confused it's such a relief to come home to the blah of theReg - shit happens - how relieving and confirming even.

    Ahhh home.

  8. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    ketosis

    In my young and gaunt days, I occasionally achieved ketosis toward the end of a long run--not on purpose, but because I was, well, gaunt and given to taking long runs. I am here to tell you that you don't want to share an elevator with someone in that state. The ammonia smell was offensive even to my own tolerant nose.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It just makes me think...

    He's a prick

    An attention seeking gobshite

    Telegram might be good/useful but that doesn't stop him being a prick and a gobshite

    1. cookieMonster

      Re: It just makes me think...

      Up vote for 'Gobshite'.

      Brilliant!!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the satanic call of a Big Mac

    If that's satanic, where does a meat of unknown origin kebab with enough garlic sauce and chili sauce to disguise any original flavors, a mixture of indeterminate vegetables in various states and extra chili's appear?

    Actually, I've answered my own question. It's heavenly...

    1. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: the satanic call of a Big Mac

      Ahh! A Satankebab with extra rae onion in the salad and yhe chili sauce that makes flies veer off over a metre away.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: the satanic call of a Big Mac

        Proper chili sauce makes them drop out of the sky from two metres away.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What I want to know is why does fasting take so long?

  12. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

    I lost about 33 kg in 3 months being in Ketosis (and about 10 inches in waist). I had one meal a day (6 in the evening).

    Wasn’t hungry. The brain worked just fine. Better than when dependent on carbs, in fact.

  13. TDog
    Meh

    Ignorant bastard

    What a stupid cunt. Hopefully a future Darwin award recipient. And could we please have an icon that is labelled prat. Or something similar.

  14. tony2heads
    Holmes

    Sherlock Holmes

    Did not eat when he had some serious thinking to do

    1. Claverhouse Silver badge

      Re: Sherlock Holmes

      Sherlock Holmes was rather an ass --- as was his creator. A brilliant man, but the worse set of ethics outside a den of 18th century Whigs.

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Sherlock Holmes

      No, he just used heroin instead. Not really an ideal role model.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sherlock Holmes

        Cocaine.

        Sociopath, drug abuser...today he'd be frontrunner for PM.

        1. John Sturdy

          Re: Sherlock Holmes

          No, he was too intelligent for that.

    3. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      Re: Sherlock Holmes

      And he also smoked three pipes of shag. Not exactly an exemplar of healthy living.

    4. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Sherlock Holmes

      ...and to top it off, he didn't exist either!

      Let's also not forget that Arthur Conan Doyle, his creator, believed the Cottingley Fairies to be real, and was pretty much obsessed with spiritualism, so his judgment may not be as sound as all that, even if couched in the words of a famous fictional detective.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There needs to be a medical study in regards to this to determine whether the cognitive enhancements from a fasting outweigh the time spent thinking while having a shit. I do believe that the concept of facebook occurred during a rather tumultuous turd.

    1. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Holmes

      I do believe that the concept of facebook occurred during a rather tumultuous turd.

      Disagree somewhat. Rather, a protracted and severely malodorous bout of diarrhoea.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Since zero food consumption improves clarity of thought [citation needed; not Woo please], I also got many things done on the product-management side.

    It's actually not a new invention, fasting for clearer thought. I've been researching it because I have gone overweight due to lifestyle (not to obese levels, but enough to not enjoying it), and I wanted to find a way to reset. The clearer thoughts would be a bonus, but I won't get my hopes up there :). The problem with increasing exercise to address overweight is that it doesn't really help much long term, it is better to start such a regime when being slim (also less weight related damage).

    Fasting is effectively forcing the body to switch to a mode we don't use much because we no longer have to forage for food (survival mode). It is best done with medical assistance, and you have to keep up liquids and minerals but avoid anything sugary, including fruit.

    However, be aware that the first days are not going to be pleasant for you as well as your environment (someone mentioned your breath - that's just one of the side effects), and your temper will suffer too although probably would notice that with New Yorkers (I'm sure there are UK equivalents). After that it'll be OK, with one major caveat: your body will tell you when your fast is done (return of appetite and other fairly abrupt signals), and you should then restart eating (small at first, of course).

    If this is a "fad", it is only because some marketing type may have wrapped a barrel of hype around it, but the idea is FAR from new. There's also a reasonable body of research available on it. I can imagine health clubs don't go for it because there's little money to be made from (temporarily) bad tempered people who only drink water with some minerals added..

  17. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    He just might be inspired to change the name from Telegram...

    ...to Telegrain.

  18. 89724102172714182892114I7551670349743096734346773478647892349863592355648544996312855148587659264921 Bronze badge

    I find it frees up time and mental space and the world becomes startlingly clear, particularly of diabetes with a 5 day on, 2 days off intermittent fasting regimen ie feast like Baron Harkonnen on the weekends - one plate of food every 24 hour hours during the week. My beer gut is almost gone after 8 weeks, having lost a stone. Plus I can code 24 hours straight, hopefully not into a jacket, though that remains to be seen.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Vodka

    Does Vodka ("little water") count as alcohol in Russia? I think we should be told just to be sure we've understood his diet properly.

  20. lexan

    yeah, I saw this in "Durov's Channel" and LOL'd

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021