Re: First step, tell them to fire security
My favourite joke ever*:
Noah's current descendant on Earth has a visitation from god, who tells him that he has a task for him. "I want you to build me an ark". "OK, " says NCDoE, "do you want it built to the same specs as last time?"
"No, this time I want it to have twenty decks", said god.
"Hmmmm, okay, but it isn't going to be easy. How long do I have?"
NCDoE gulps. "That's going to be hard! Do you want the same two-by-two accommodation?"
"No, just twenty decks" replied god.
"Fine, I'll get to work."
Six months later, god appears again to NCDoE. "Have you done as I commanded?"
Exhausted, NCDoE replied, "Yes - I just put the last nails in the roof. Do you want me to launch it now?"
"No", said god. "I want you to fill every deck with water and then put goldfish in it."
Surprised, NCDoE, agreed.
A few days later, god appeared to see the results. "Are you happy, Lord? Twenty decks populated by goldfish as you commanded."
"Yes", replied god. "You can take it all down now."
"What? Isn't there going to be a great flood?"
"Oh, no!" laughed god.
"Then why?" said a somewhat pissed off NCDoE
"Oh, it's just that I fancied having a multi-storey carp ark..."
*I'm laughing as I write it!