back to article Silence of the vans: Uber adds 'Plz STFU, driver' button to app for posh passengers using Black

Uber drivers, who have been vocal about low wages and lack of benefits, may soon be less so, at least for those booking its more expensive Uber Black and Uber Black SUV rides. The newly public company, stock buoyed by a US National Labor Relations Board decision that its drivers are contractors rather than employees, has just …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    London black cabs ?

    Seems I'm the first one to get in and comment that one of these for the Standard London Black Cabbie would be a great idea, too.

    Think I'd better be AC.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Stop

      Re: London black cabs ?

      Or you know, you could just politely ask the cabbie if he wouldnt mind being quiet whilst you're doing something else in the back of his cab.

      Do you really need an App for doing some normal social interaction? If the answer is yes, I can see where the problem really lies...

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

        Re: London black cabs ?

        exactly.

        "normal social interaction"

        this evil app is chipping away at our very human condition!

        when will it end!

        when we all communcate via our phones? over the dinner table!

        next stop - the cybermen.

        1. macjules

          Re: London black cabs ?

          I find that this where the iOS "Find my Phone" comes into its own with recalcitrant teenagers.

          "Dinner is ready. You have 2 minutes to get downstairs or I am going to erase your iPhone"

      2. Kane

        Re: London black cabs ?

        "Or you know, you could just politely ask the cabbie if he wouldnt mind being quiet whilst you're doing something else in the back of his cab."

        Certainly you could, and then watch as his hand reaches up to the meter and £5 is miraculously added to the final total payable.

        1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

          Re: London black cabs ?

          whereas if you ordered him to do that via the app, he's totally not going to think "This bastard hasnt even got the guts to utter a word to me, I think we'll go the extended scenic route"

    2. jmch Silver badge

      Re: London black cabs ?

      Not sure why AC as I'm sure you'll find plenty of people in agreement. Personally I abhor the mentality of those cabbies that insist on incessant chatting, but to each their own.

      I'm not sure why the button is necessary though. Is it that much of an effort to tell the driver that you're not in the mood for conversation?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: London black cabs ?

        There are two possible reasons. Firstly because the people requiring it have so little social interaction that they haven't learned the subtle social arts of using the disinterested "Hmmm" noise several times to first change the conversation, and then end it after the extrovert talking at you realises that your not that interested in polite conversation.

        The second possible reason would be that they require a mute button so as to indicate to the plebs driving them that their only communication with their betters should be tugging their forelock when their betters alight into the vehicle.

        How dare the hired help speak to them about not being paid enough by them to feed their kids! What do they think this is, the 21st century instead of a Dickensian style dystopia? The plebs should be grateful for the scraps thrown to them and a good kick occasionally from the upper classes acting out the part of Scrooge by not paying the servants enough to live on.

        This message brought to you by the ghost of the present.

      2. DropBear

        Re: London black cabs ?

        For me, simply not replying worked most of the time in cabs, with the driver shutting up - but definitely not always, and while I can understand the desire for human contact of someone sitting in a tin box for half a day I most definitely do not share it; rather it puts immense strain on me so I absolutely hate it (yes, I'm also great fun at parties. Just as long I don't have to talk to anyone.).

        Unfortunately, the button is impractical for the same reason you don't just tell the cabbie to shut the fuck up directly - doing it through an app does nothing to make it more socially acceptable. If you're willing to get that kind of confrontational, you don't need the app.

  2. redpawn

    Remember, you are not an employee,

    so you can be treated even worse. Now make Dara Khosrowshahi rich. That's your God given duty.

  3. ecarlseen

    Once you go black?

    Wow. This may make the much higher price of the black car service worthwhile!

  4. Chairman of the Bored

    Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

    ..sail on. But when I'm in New York or London... I like to talk to the cabbies and, you know, learn something about towns they are generally pretty proud of.

    Simple really, if we treat each other like decent human beings we discover that - with some exceptions - we are surrounded by decent human beings and life goes better.

    1. Mike Pellatt

      Re: Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

      Just remember that your convo with the London cabbie must always, always commence with

      "Been busy tonight, mate ?"

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

        Re: Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

        well thats just the connection string. Once the channel is established you can use http.get or http.push on whatever subject you want.

        1. Korev Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

          If you're like them to shut up do you make a "give it a REST call"

          1. macjules
            Coat

            Re: Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

            Or, "Oi JSON, STFU mate please"

      2. WallMeerkat

        Re: Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

        It's universal across these isles, not just inside the M25.

        A favourite with Belfast taxis "What time ye on til?" "Just started at 7 there will see it out til about 3 and then hit the sack" after which you can then follow up with "Well has it been busy so far?" "Oh aye flat out"

    2. Persona

      Re: Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

      I've had a cab in NY where the driver had to phone a friend to find out where Wall Street was.

      1. Jay 2

        Re: Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

        I saw some sort of documentary many years back about the trials and tribulations of people wanting to become cabbies in NYC. Two scenes that stick in my mind:

        - A passenger saying to cabbie "You know in England the cabbies know where everything is?"

        - Another passenger offering to drive as the cabbie didn't seem to have a clue of where they needed to go.

    3. NightFox

      Re: Sigh.. if that floats your goat...

      I got a taxi from LA once when I was in San Jose for a business trip. Conversation went something like this -

      Me: "I've got a bit of time free while I'm out here, so any suggestions?"

      Driver: "I know a clean black girl you can **** for $100"

      Me: " "

  5. jake Silver badge

    Nobody said you can not talk to the gubers ... what they said was the passengers have the option to shut them up. And seeing as the passengers are the ones paying for the ride, it only makes sense that they should have the option to be alone with their thoughts. If any.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Facepalm

      And you need an App for that?

      1. Kane

        "And you need an App for that?"

        Well, if you're someone who is socially awkward (like myself, I feel uncomfortable when complete strangers start up what, on the surface seem like entirely reasonable conversations), I can see the benefit of having the option available.

        But I don't use Uber, so I'm not the target market here.

      2. maffski

        And you need an App for that?

        The good news is Uber are going to run the experiment for us.

        If no one pushes the button then no, you don't need an app for that.

        And the're not even going to charge extra for doing the science. Free market capitalism, there's no system more generous.

  6. Mark 85

    I would expect that at some point, Uber, et al, will be required to put some sort of signage on the vehicles. Been a couple of reports where people waiting for their...err.. cab were picked by someone not working them.

    1. Screepy

      I take it you're not an Uber user then? The app tracks your 'cab' so you can watch it's progress on the map. Plus it tells the make/model and number plate of the car your should expect. If you fail to check all these thing before getting into the car, then shame on you! Of course this won't stop an official uber driver turning nasty once you get in, but it should stop the random evil person just pulling up in his white van in the hope you'll get confused and just step right in.

  7. IceC0ld

    as in the old joke

    bloke walks into the barbers, barber starts saying, "hello, and what a beautiful day, and how would sir like his hair cut today ?"

    "in complete silence" is the reply :o)

    1. Aladdin Sane

      I didn't want to be a barber. I wanted to be... a lumberjack!

  8. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

    Wardriving, in other words? With both parties furiously jabbing at their fondleslabs :)

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A bit dehumanizing

    All part of the plan, progressing towards the day when fully automatic cabs can run without drivers at all.

    1. hplasm
      Terminator

      Re: A bit dehumanizing

      "shut up JohnnyCab and just Drive! Drive!"

      1. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

        Re: A bit dehumanizing

        "or else I'm gonna go all Terminator on yo' ass!"

  10. m0rt

    How is this different from companies using the most dehumanising (ironically) term: Human resources.

    This is the problem ultimately lies. The forcable ejection of humanity from anything related to making money. Anyone else feel the storm brewing?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      hey , the day the machines start doing our work for us , and we get all week off will be a happy day!

      It should have happened in the 18th C industrial revolution , but somehow , we found extra work to do... full time! stupid bastards.

  11. Blockchain commentard
    Coat

    If you're willing to pay a premium for Black, why not just use a licensed taxi who knows how to get from A to B without a GPS?

    Mine's the one with the OS map in it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Depends if you want to take the fast direct route south of the river or sit in the line of black cabs that don't seem to like using bridges.

    2. d3vy

      Because in my experience the cleanliness of a "normal" taxi can be a bit hit or miss - where as Ive never been in a dirty uber, especially when paying more for the nicer cars.

    3. Insert sadsack pun here

      Because the licensed ones don't know where my street is; I don't really put a big price premium on them knowing where it is; they don't give me real time tracking of where they are; they don't give me a searchable recoverable receipt; they don't drop their receipt into my company's expense software; they use rattly cold cabs; and they absolutely frigging obsessively feel the need to turn down a side street every sixty yards.

  12. chivo243 Silver badge
    Happy

    Johnny Cabs

    For all my friends at the bar! No more of this dehumanizing system please!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Next time the quesiton will be if workers are contractors or serfs... then "serfs or slaves?"

    "Full steam astern!", is the new US motto in labour relations. Resurrecting debt bondage looks another way to achieve that.

    Meanwhile people are so blinded by the fear of "state powers", that they can't see "business powers" doing worse - and turning the government into their executive branch...

  14. DontFeedTheTrolls
    Boffin

    So perhaps its different for girls but for me as an old bloke I always thought:

    Get in the front = happy to talk

    Get in the back = leave me alone

    1. Kubla Cant

      Yeah, but what about those of us who don't want to talk, but don't get in the back for fear of seeming snobbish?

    2. Jemma

      I always sit in the front as female. No possibly of being locked in (Rapey McChildlocks anyone?) , and if I don't feel safe theres the handbrake on & seatbelt off experience (for the driver if I'm really feeling vicious).

      And if my driver happens to have a heart attack or something I've got a remote chance of keeping some control of the vehicle.

      If you want me in the back and locked in? Guess again.

      Uber? Not a chance in hell - although that "waaaay too attracted to his mum" YouTube twerp who goes slapper hunting in a Lamborghini as an Uber driver was mildly entertaining even if a menace to road safety (two girls into one bucket seat, both facing forward doesn't work).

  15. devTrail

    Clickbait

    The title and the start of the article is a really well done clickbait. With some phony worries for the driver rights they'll manage to get a lot more interest in the article and do a lot more publicity to the new feature.

  16. Yorick

    This has got at least one Uber driver, in the linked forum, so riled up he’s fantasizing about using combat knives on his passengers. “ Think you're gonna step up in my whip & tell me not to talk, my kabar is coming out to play homie. ” ka-bar being a nickname for a popular knife in the US.

    1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      Ironically "KnowFear415" also claims to be a grown adult...

      {1 year later...}

      The signs were there all along ...

  17. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

    if you take a more environmentally friendly option , where the driver isnt there solely for you - they never talk to you!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Why the bloody hell would you do that?

  18. BebopWeBop
    Thumb Down

    The newly public company, stock buoyed by a US National Labor Relations Board decision that its drivers are contractors rather than employees

    So counting on neoliberal governments in Europe to cowtow - I think dot

  19. Erik4872

    That's pretty dehumanizing

    This sounds like a feature that an introverted techie working for Uber dreamed up, thinking it was a brilliant idea. I've heard about this phenomenon where younger people are having trouble interacting directly with people because they're so used to phones and automated services. Maybe it's just catering to the audience? I could definitely see a bunch of well-heeled socially maladjusted nerds riding around San Francisco or San Jose who would use this.

    Whatever it is, the "shut up and drive" button might be the push over the edge needed to get courts to treat their drivers as employees. At least in the US, contractors (especially in IT) are routinely treated like employees. The official rules are that you can't directly control their work, but this happens all the time. Uber telling a driver "pick up this passenger and take them here" is already on shaky ground, but add "and by the way, keep your mouth shut and don't speak unless spoken to!" kind of adds to the "employee direction." At best it's dehumanizing -- I thought we were done with the "domestic service" era except for the Larry Ellison level people of the world these days.

  20. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Met a lot of interesting cab drivers over the years...

    For example the MD of a well-known-at-the-time record label who recalled the day his secretary buzzed him to say "there's two gentlemen to see you." Turned out they were there to shut his company down.

  21. A Nonny Moose

    Additional Option Suggestions

    How about a "Don't rape me" option too?

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