back to article Kent bloke incurs the anchor of local council after fly-tipping boat

Justice has finally been served for abandoned boats everywhere as a Kentish man was found guilty of callously ditching his vessel in a residential area. The 55-year-old Margate resident was caught on camera fly-tipping a rowing boat and various bags of what El Reg presumes to be ballast, but admits might just be old building …

  1. Andy Non Silver badge

    Now he's up the creek

    without a paddle.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Now he's up the creek

      Yes, his neighbour must have been pi-rate to report him

    2. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Now he's up the creek

      well it's margate, so "shit creek" is certainly appropriate.

  2. ragnar
    Coffee/keyboard

    Brilliant. Many well-deserved groans.

    1. Mike Moyle
      Pint

      Absolutely agreed! Pour yourself a schooner as a reward (which this isn't, drat it!) ----------->

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Three sheets to the wind.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a Wanchor.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What a Wanchor

      Really? I don't recall reading anything in the article about him being a masterboater....

      <coughs>

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Margate..

    Anybody familiar with the area will know, that fly-tipping is a legitimate process of refuse disposal in that neck of the woods!

    (Yes, I once called it home.. but ran away as soon as I reached 18)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Margate..

      Some would even say fly tipping improves the local area...

      1. notamole

        Re: Margate..

        It's the only thing keeping the Dreamland rides upright.

      2. Korev Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Margate..

        Is that a bit like Cow Tipping, only smaller?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tony Blackburn

    Congratulations!

    This article is now firm favourite for this years award of the:

    Tony Blackburn (TM) Groantastic Prize for Pucked Up Funnery

    Please arrange your own travel and accomodation for the ceremony, where you will receive your Radio 1 pencil (used).

    1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser

      Re: Tony Blackburn

      "Radio 1 pencil (used)" - what's the point of that?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Tony Blackburn

        You misunderstood- it’s pointless...

    2. tapemonkey

      Re: Tony Blackburn

      I hope that pencil comes with a rubber we dont want it being used to multiply do we?

  6. Captain Hogwash

    Re: naughty-cal boy

    Buoy!

  7. Kenny Millar

    No picture? Didn't happen.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Pirate

      Quite, we need to see a video of the starboard of the story

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Don't get your hopes buoyed up. I guess this case wasn't tried before a jury of his piers?

    2. Josh 14

      Pics for you:

      https://metro.co.uk/2019/04/11/man-caught-fly-tipping-a-boat-in-front-of-his-own-house-9173004/

    3. JJKing
      Facepalm

      Err, sorry.

      They may port it to video from the newsprint oar a different medium. Would been a better story if it was in Hull or would their council keel the story and insist it mast have been made up. Lying rudders.

  8. Come to the Dark Side

    Certainly scuppered his plans.

  9. Outski Silver badge
    Pint

    A pedant speaks

    Technically speaking, if he's from Margate, he's a Man of Kent, not a Kentish Man.

    Because it's Friday, and the finest hops grow in Kent --------------------->

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A pedant speaks

      I cam here to say just that, but, it does depend on where one's parent's are from...

    2. Ken Shabby
      Pint

      Re: A pedant speaks

      In Oz, that would be a schooner. Be careful to skull it.

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: A pedant speaks

      Is Kentish Man related to Florida Man?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: A pedant speaks

        “Is Kentish Man related to Florida Man?”

        It all sounds a little tame for Florida man - no drugs, limited weirdness and the best Florida Man boat story I can find is sort of karma:

        https://www.reddit.com/r/FloridaMan/comments/4vqj1z/florida_man_steals_and_crashes_61000_boat/

  10. chivo243 Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Whaaat?

    He was made to do 200 hours community service, and had to pay to have someone clean up his mess?

    Why not make "him" clean up his own mess (and anything else in the vicinity), and do 200 more hours? If there are costs related to disposing of his dingy, then he could pay that as well.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Whaaat?

      Is it a dingy dinghy?

      1. CrazyOldCatMan

        Re: Whaaat?

        dingy dinghy?

        Maybe even a dinged dingy dinghy..

        1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

          Re: Whaaat?

          Maybe even a dinged dingy dinghy..

          If it was stolen in the process it'd be a dodgy dinged dingy dinghy..

          1. Semtex451

            Re: Whaaat?

            A future El Reg headline no doubt

          2. imanidiot Silver badge

            Re: Whaaat?

            Let's hope nobody stacks 2 of those. Then you'd have a double decker dodgy dinged dingy dinghy

            1. Stevie

              Re: Whaaat?

              But let's also not forget the whole thing was a fly-tipping incident, making it a dumped double decker dodgy dinged dingy dinghy.

              1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

                Re: Whaaat?

                If it was also inflatable, it would have to be a dirigible dumped double decker dodgy dinged dingy dinghy

                1. imanidiot Silver badge

                  Re: Whaaat?

                  And since it was tipped it was probably also leaky, making it a deflated dirigible dumped double decker dodgy dinged dingy dinghy

                  1. The Nazz

                    Re: Whaaat?

                    And if it were made of good quality wood and well varnished would it be a durable deflated dirigible dumped double decker dodgy dinged dingy dinghy?

                    1. Swarthy Silver badge

                      Re: Whaaat?

                      Damn.

          3. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. phuzz Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Whaaat?

        Bravo all, I'd like to join in but I'd only sink below your standards.

  11. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

    Yacht on Earth did I just read..?

    Having to explaining your own puns is never a good thing...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yacht on Earth did I just read..?

      Pffftttt

      One of the few joys in life of a middle-aged Dad is the pain on your children's faces as you explain the puns that they didn't understand.

      The slowly dawning realization that the pun really is that bad is a pleasure to behold.

      1. tfewster Silver badge

        Re: Yacht on Earth did I just read..?

        A good pun is its own reword

        1. red floyd

          Re: Yacht on Earth did I just read..?

          The beauty of a pun is in the "Oy!" of the beholder.

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Yacht on Earth did I just read..?

        punning is a vice - and there is no vice versa

  12. DontFeedTheTrolls
    Coat

    I'm guessing he had a "ferry" and an agreement to provide post-Brexit ferry services but that has now been rescinded so he needed to hide the "ferry" before someone in government finds out it was just a rowing boat ?

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Having a rowing boat would make him over qualified.

    2. theblackhand

      No money in running a ferry service...but there's a lot of money in not running a ferry service and being excluded from a government tender...

      The community service just gives you something to do between expensive holidays abroad.

  13. Geoff May (no relation)

    We can dredge up some more, me thinks. His punt at the garbage scow got a bit cobled 'cos they ketched him.

  14. Dave K Silver badge
    Coat

    Always nice to see when someone dumps junk and ends up floundering.

    I bet he got that sinking feeling when they caught up with him! His plans had been scuttled...

    IGMC

  15. Efer Brick

    Keelhaul him!

    Don't wanna hear any waterboutism either

    1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

      Re: Keelhaul him!

      "waterboatism", Shirley?

  16. Morpho Devilpepper

    Tsk tsk

    It was too much bother to dispose of correctly, so he said Frigate.

  17. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    Lovely and excellent punnery.

    Keep it up, or else you'll get a lot of fly-tipped dinged dinghies in your area.

  18. GreggS

    must have had too much port

    1. Adam 1

      Whilst that may be true, he still deserves quite a stern warning.

  19. Semtex451

    Skipper skips bail after not skipping boat

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Coat

      There was some talk of France considering giving Assange asylum - couldn't the UK Border Force put Assange in this boat and tow it over to France? Whilst they are at it, put Farrage in as well to keep him company

  20. MAF
    Joke

    Did he appear at a caught herring?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      The jury was rigged.

  21. Smody

    You've s-pun quite a tale there.

  22. Mystic Megabyte
    Happy

    A bit late to the party here

    When he was caught did he say "rowlocks!"?

    1. Ken Shabby
      Facepalm

      Re: A bit late to the party here

      Oarsome pun that.

  23. Rich 11 Silver badge

    until they found the chap, who lived just across the road from the dumping ground.

    So not only anti-social but also mind-bogglingly stupid. Or maybe he was three sheets to the wind.

  24. NonyaDB

    [reads article full of dad puns]

    I hate you so much right now.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Are you sure you didn't mean 'I hate you so much starboard now'?

      C'mon, try to join in!

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Should have port it alone.

  25. Stoneshop Silver badge
    Pirate

    Utter bilge

    these fly-tippers.

    1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser

      Re: Utter bilge

      Agreed

      We must be very stern with them and stem the problem.

      We need a celebrity to be a figurehead, of course.

  26. TRT Silver badge

    Canoe all please just stop these terrible puns?

    1. Ken Shabby
      Trollface

      They are just trawling you.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Paddle be the day.

        1. A Nonny Moose

          Some of these boat puns are just oarful

  27. The Nazz

    Cheap at £3,000

    Round here it would've cost at least £30,000.

    A family of six would've moved in and by the time the council got there they'd be on the hook for re-homing a family of seven.

  28. Arty Effem

    The author should take a bow.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Schooner, rather than later?

  29. ianmcca

    It's a'boat time you stopped making all these awful puns!

    1. tapemonkey

      I know where do they keep dredging them up from

  30. Patched Out

    I kayak abide any moor of these puns!

  31. Steviecuk

    With Hindsight

    I bet he didn't realise that it would lead to this when he filled in that Bullseye application form in 1982.

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