Metro Bank enjoys an early Friday tipple and topples over

"Exciting, revolutionary UK high street bank" Metro Bank is having an exciting, revolutionary lie-down today as its mobile app falls over and its website totters. Problems first surfaced at around 11am today (UK time) as users of the outfit's mobile banking app began encountering issues. Hi Bavi, we are currently experiencing …

[Milo Tsukroff]

The Post-COBOL Apocalypse Gathers Steam!!

> "the bank's status page is a delight of red and yellow"

The colors of the Post-COBOL Apocalypse! Viva 'modern' languages, they are guaranteed work for all & sundry IT workers, from now until eternity ...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: The Post-COBOL Apocalypse Gathers Steam!!

You can distinguish the post-COBOL from the COBOL apocalypse that one will be a green text on black.

[Dan 55]

Re: The Post-COBOL Apocalypse Gathers Steam!!

What post-COBOL apocalypse? TSB's new platform is also a COBOL platform and is definitely apocalyptic.

[chivo243]

Just a bank holiday!

Early long weekend, unscheduled, but a holiday none the less!

[beep54]

You have got to be kidding

"El Reg called the bank to find out what was going on and were told "thanks for making me aware" after we read out the text shown on the bank's own status page."

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: You have got to be kidding

At least they didn't say "thanks for reaching out to us"

[Anonymous Coward]

No problem, though.

but I thought that CLOUD!!! PROGRESS!!!! INSTANT ACCESS ANYWHERE!!!! CONVENIENCE!!! FUTURE OF BANKING!!!! OPTIMIZATION OF INFRASTRUCTURE EXPENDITURE!!!!

And all it takes, rather than coordinated bombing all their branches, is just one tiny bit of data gone bad?! Or a plug unplagged in error? Why wait for climate change to kill us off, go 100% digital and wait for the obvious.

[silks]

Re: No problem, though.

Maybe they need a mainframe :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: No problem, though.

Actually, they don't host in "the cloud", they host all their own stuff banking stuff.

Anon 'coz I know what they have though I don't work for them.

[Captain Scarlet]

Re: No problem, though.

Are you Anon for hacking them???

O_O

How do you knwo what they have?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: No problem, though.

Because I have done integration work with them for a 3rd party so have knowledge of how their middleware works!

[Anonymous Coward]

TITSUP

> Total Inability To Show Up Pounds

Surely Total Inability To Show Up Pennies on the grounds that if you after the pennies then the pounds will look after themselves?

[I'll get my coat.]

[A.P. Veening]

Re: TITSUP

That is just penny-wise and pound-foolish ;)

[silks]

Funding

At least they haven't gone bust, there were some concerns before new investment was just announced.

https://uk.reuters.com/article/metrobank-bonds/metro-bank-funding-problems-deepen-as-bondholder-confidence-wavers-idUKL5N22L429