I think it should be Gary Numan's Cars as played by Bill Bailey on car horns...
Silent Merc, holy e-car... What is that terrible sound?
Totally ignoring the fact that urban trotters currently take their lives into their hands by never looking up from their phones even when they do hear the growls of the good old combustion engine, electric vehicle makers have identified noiselessness as e-cars' main problem. This means, they say, that they need to think up …
COMMENTS
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 22:49 GMT Rich 11
"The only way to feel the noise..."
What do you think should alert us to the presence of heavy metal doom hurtling towards us as we cross the street?
The reanimated corpse of Lemmy. Nothing less will do.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 13:30 GMT devjoe
Re: Dumber and Dumber
As a non-earbud using cyclist, I was on my way home from work one evening.
A lady jogging decided to run across my lane past a red light without looking, ran out right in front of me.
She remained on the cycle lane until the ambulance picked her up.
I luckily landed like a cat with barely a scratch, but had I hit the lamp-post right next to where I landed I could easily have been in a wheel-chair or worse by now.
The point about this not being a new problem, and sounds not being the solution, is very valid. People need to look the f*ck up before they cross a lane.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 18:19 GMT Eddy Ito
Re: Dumber and Dumber
This is precisely the problem. Perhaps hey could focus their AI research to identify when said earbud wearing self-obsessed unaware dolt is in the vicinity and use a loudspeaker to draw everyone else's attention to that fact. It could be something simple like "Caution, beware prat in red wife beater and black lycra!"
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Friday 8th March 2019 09:36 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Dumber and Dumber
40 years ago, as a child.
I was left for dead in the middle of a road after some smuck did this to me; ran out without looking.
I was saved from a serious head injury by my backpack, which cushioned my head (long before cycle helmets), but I was semi-concious and pretty concussed.
30-40 people (some with their own children), walked/drove around me before some little old lady came out of her house and picked me up.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:03 GMT BeerTokens
Re: Dumber and Dumber
Gotta say one of the scarier things I see on the road is drivers with earbuds! but the general lack of awareness by road users that other road users might be around the next corner or be stopping soon is just astounding. I'm all for mandatory insurance for cyclists and driving licenses should expire after 10 years.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 11:37 GMT LucreLout
Re: Dumber and Dumber
driving licenses should expire after 10 years.
As a driver, I have literally no fear of that at all. If I had to sit a test tomorrow, tonight I'd revise the official stopping distances (I haven't driven a 1970 Ford Anglia in a while so they don't apply to real driving) and a double check that no new road signs have been added since I last read the highway code (about 7 or 8 years back).
However, we need to couple that with a licence to cycle bearing a similar testing and enforcement regime, and something akin to jay walking fines for peds.
I am curious though, how you see the testing infrastructure coping with all the retests, revoked licences, and policing of same. After all, its pointless just targetting the law abiding drivers - you'd need to do somethign about the spike of newly unlicenced, unisured dirvers that would carry on regardles "because special".
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:15 GMT Andy 73
Lotus: Been there, done that
This was demonstrated by Lotus ten years ago (using a Prius) - a dynamic accoustic system that both warned pedestrians and gave drivers better feedback about what the car was actually doing.
The Harman system they developed could choose engine sounds - either something Star Trekky, or a more traditional sports car sound - so your Nissan Leaf could sound like it had a V12 engine.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:49 GMT AIBailey
Re: Lotus: Been there, done that
I'm pretty sure that Lotus have been working on that for years. I recall a news report (although it may have been on Tomorrows World) when they'd installed a similar system in a Reliant Robin so that from the inside you could chose what kind of engine sound you wanted.
I believe it was actually to demonstrate active noise cancelling.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 16:15 GMT Timbo
Re: Lotus: Been there, done that
"I believe it was actually to demonstrate active noise cancelling."
Indeed, Lotus (and a few other car brands, notably Rolls Royce, and one or two "personal" jet aircraft manufacturers) use Active Noise Control (usually using a microphone, an inverting amplifier and one (or more loudspeakers) to actually make their vehicles quieter, when in use.
This is usually done to reduce engine noise, as heard by the occupants.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 14:36 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Not just electric cars.
Current petrol cars sometimes have fake engine sounds coming out of the radio/stereo system, because they no longer sound the same, and sales/marketing still want the customers to think they are getting the "same" car/engine. Kinda annoying to OCD/pedantic people like me... but IIRC you can turn it back off again.
Pumping it out, instead of in, the car should be no problem.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:16 GMT Pink Duck
This is such a non-problem. For those with functioning vision there's little difference except 'signature lights' . For those without, the tyre and wind sounds are still notable at any speed of consequence (20 mph upwards). Nearly all modern EV/PHEVs typically come with pedestrian/cyclist sensors to mitigate frontal impacts too.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:38 GMT Anonymous Coward
" For those with functioning vision there's little difference except 'signature lights' ."
I beg to differ. as a cyclist, I get a lot of situational awareness from the sounds around me, especially behind. I regularly look over my shoulder, but every little bit of information about where other road users are and what they are doing helps a lot.
Admittedly, when I'm a pedestrian or a driver, the noise of cars or motorbikes isn't much use, because I've always got to look out for those awful silent cyclists anyway. I mean, who lets them on the road anyway? :-)
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 14:48 GMT Anonymous Coward
Yeah, the only time I've been run over exactly that happened: she looked straight at me, then drove straight out into me. Then was all shocked and burst into tears. Looking on the bright side, she was a radiographer, so if she'd broken any of my bones I would at least have got swift service!
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 15:07 GMT Baldie
I have a solution for the problem of "awful silent cyclists". Check out ElliptiGo long stride bikes - nobody has ever walked out in front of mine. Though motorists who have never seen one before can be a bit dangerous, and it is noisy enough to make it quite hard to have a conversation on a ride without shouting a bit.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 14:03 GMT werdsmith
For those without, the tyre and wind sounds are still notable at any speed of consequence (20 mph upwards).
Exactly this, a normal petrol car that is not accelerating also has an inaudible engine, all the noise is from tyres and wind. People have been talking about silent EV cars for ages, it's just not true.
I can sneak up on people in EV mode at low speed, this often happens when I creep into a filling station, people standing there already look surprised when a silent car arrives (at less than 5MPH).
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Thursday 7th March 2019 11:44 GMT LucreLout
Exactly this, a normal petrol car that is not accelerating also has an inaudible engine, all the noise is from tyres and wind.
Nothing with a boxer engine, a V6/8/10/12 or W configuration engine is ever silent, even just ticking over. Yes, if it has stop start tech then maybe, but if its not moving then the sound doesn't matter.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 15:43 GMT jtaylor
"For those with functioning vision there's little difference except 'signature lights' . For those without, the tyre and wind sounds are still notable at any speed of consequence (20 mph upwards)."
I have a few blind friends. Vehicle sounds are how they identify if it's safe to cross a street or a driveway or walk through a parking lot. It's how they know when the light changes, and when to prompt their guide dog to attempt to cross. Drivers don't expect that pedestrians might have low vision, so the burden is really all on the pedestrian. And yes, drivers do run over white canes in their haste to cut off a pedestrian in the crosswalk.
As for "speed of consequence" I'll ask around what people consider consequential as they're run over. Maybe blind people are trained to withstand impacts up to 20 mph.
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Saturday 9th March 2019 03:43 GMT M.V. Lipvig
Re: You are forgetting the seeing eye dogs
So when your car comes alomg sounding like the USS Enterprise in a wormhole, and not like a car seeing as the sound is user-selectable, what's Fido going to do? At least some dogs are smart enough to understand the rules of the road. I have several in my neighborhood that always walk against traffic when on the road, and move off the road when they see a car.
That doesn't count the one idiot dog that used to like sleeping just over the crest of a hill. I've not seen that one around lately.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 11:41 GMT LucreLout
For those with functioning vision there's little difference except 'signature lights' . For those without, the tyre and wind sounds are still notable at any speed of consequence (20 mph upwards).
So blind people should do what? Just accept being hit at sub 20mph whenever they want to cross a road, because you view it as of no "consequence"?
Nearly all modern EV/PHEVs typically come with pedestrian/cyclist sensors to mitigate frontal impacts too.
The black cab / truck / bus / car / van / tank behind is still going to shunt the EV forwards at pace. Don't you think it's better if there's some recognisable audible indicator for the visually impared and for people around corners?
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:19 GMT Will Godfrey
Missed Option
None of the above.
I'm looking forward to a future of (relatively) quiet towns. Just the sound of the tires at any sort of speed is more than enough. If people have their eyes glued to their phones and their hearing muffled with 'beatz' well they're just likely to get a Darwin award.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:58 GMT My-Handle
Re: Missed Option
Came to say the same, but with an attached anecdote.
I used to commute through Reading town centre on a regular basis, and the amount of earbud-wearing zombie pedestrians that stepped out in front of sodding double decker buses without looking beggared belief. And those machines aren't exactly quiet. Tragically, one man did in fact lose his life to this during the time I lived there, but the investigation found that it was his own fault (they put it more tactfully than that). The bus's cctv clearly showed him stepping out without hearing or looking.
I don't think a silent bus was the problem, nor "e-noise" the solution.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 15:51 GMT Spamfast
Re: Missed Option
That said, it's not always the pedestrians in Reading who are the problem!
Holy crap! (soundtrack reporter) "No arrests have yet been made." Did the bus even stop?!
Reminds me a bit of my local pub which is right on a 90 degree limited visibility corner onto the narrowish one-way road where the town's main bus stops are. There's a pavement (sidewalk for USians) and the pub has a terrace with table seating on the outside of the bend. National Express coaches come wanging round the corner and the local buses do too albeit at a more sane speed. Needless to say there are often headphone/smartphone zombies wandering in and out of the pub and up and down the pavement.
Never actually seen anyone mowed (mown?) down but it's still alarming if you're standing behind the driver about to get off the bus or when having a pint of Old Horizont sat at a table.
However what horrifies me most is that taxi drivers and other people regularly pull up in front of the pub on the double yellow lines just on the exit of the turn to pick up & drop off despite the pub having a perfectly good car park around the back. While the local bus bus drivers are pretty aware of this they often have to brake harder and swerve more tightly which can be an issue for passengers in the process of getting ready to alight.
I sometimes wish the bus driver would just grind his vehicle down the side of the taxi/car. I'd be happy to testify that the driver was illegally parked so his insurance could pay for all the damage. Hopefully this might discourage him from stopping on that corner again.
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Friday 8th March 2019 09:37 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Missed Option
Had the same happen locally, jogger running down the pavement in full earbud zombie mode suddenly turned and ran out onto the main road; he only got halfway off the curb before being ripped apart by the bus.
The number of near misses I have had, in a large engined, decidedly not silent MPV; several in the "how the fuck did I miss her" range (nearly all women with prams/pushchairs).
Seen 3 this week, one a child of 7-8, the other two supposedly responsible parents.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 14:40 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Missed Option
Yes, those towns will be especially quiet when everyone gets run over.
In a perfect world, we could use sounds in an interim period, until people got use to the new method/form of travel. However, I'm expecting this to go the same route as "phone bezels" and just keep getting more and more impractical car sounds as time goes by.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 18:05 GMT Duffy Moon
Re: Missed Option
"I'm looking forward to a future of (relatively) quiet towns."
Me too. I think it's one of the many benefits of EVs. The road I live on isn't particularly busy, but the road noise is still annoying and causes me stress - especially the low-frequency engine noises which cause my house to resonate. I'm sure stress levels are higher in people who live on very busy roads.
If they must make a noise, perhaps it could be the clip-clopping of horses' hooves for a nostalgic hit.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 15:58 GMT Spamfast
Re: Missed Option
Another 'me too' - quieter and I'll be breathing in a lot less crap especially if the cars use regenerative braking instead of discs.
But as pointed out, a lot of noise above 20mph is from tyre and other friction and those tyres also throw off a lot of nasty particulates so please also pedestrianize (or bus/tramize!) town centres too. Makes them so much nicer for a stroll to Slim's Throat Emporium.
It's not like anyone is allowed to park outside town centre shops anymore anyway. (Amen to that.)
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:22 GMT ISYS
Geneva Airport
Having been through many times I can offer the following advice - NEVER buy food or drink on the Swiss side of the airport. Once you have converted the price from Swiss Francs to Pounds or Euros you will probably have some sort of medical episode.
On one occasion I was travelling with my wife and kids and we bought sandwiches and a drink each (the sort you can get in a meal deal) and I nearly fainted when I worked out I had just spent nearly £50
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 13:38 GMT Phil O'Sophical
Re: Geneva Airport
Once you have converted the price from Swiss Francs to Pounds or Euros you will probably have some sort of medical episode.
Well, that's true of anywhere in Geneva, not just the airport! At least it's back to 1CHF = 0.8EUR, for a while it was 1:1.
The airport itself is one of the better ones in the area (far better than Lyon) except of course on Saturdays in ski season when all airports around the area are horrendous. If you think Geneva's bad, try Chambéry at 2pm on a ski Saturday during school holidays, and it has far fewer flights.
As for the security queues, if you're travelling at a busy time it's well worth spending 8CHF on a ticket for the fast track security lane, from their website.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 14:06 GMT werdsmith
Re: Geneva Airport
At Geneva airport you can buy a swiss army knife in the airside shops, and take them on board your flight as long as it is a direct flight to your destination and no changes.
I asked the guy in the shop about this, I think I said "are you sure?" about five times.
Oh, and Geneva airport has an American burger place (can't remember if BK or McD) which have normalish prices.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 13:37 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Make them sound like RoboCows!
The strange thing is....
My first car was a Datsun Cherry, but it had a rather distinctive sound - to me it actually sounded like what an electric car should sound like if they did make sound.
Think of the noise that a cheap flatbed scanner makes when it's finished scanning and moving the lights back to th start
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:29 GMT Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:29 GMT STOP_FORTH
More options needed
I always hated the announcements at Geneva Airport being preceded by "How much is that doggy in the window?" chimes. Every, single time, over and over again.
That would be my first option, it's difficult to ignore.
Anything by Kraftwerk, but you know the one we'd all want.
An old, air-cooled VW engine. Everyone would look round to see it.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 22:23 GMT Diogenes
Re: More options needed
Nah a NSW AD60 class garrett or an SP cab forward. 40 years ago a mate of mine owned a mini and fitted it with a nsw 59 class steam whistle and a small compressed air cylinder. The reaction of airbud wearing pedestrians when they stepped out in front of him was hilarious when he hit the horn
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:32 GMT Anonymous Coward
Whatever they do, it will make sod all difference
I'm a determinedly non-lycra wearing cyclist, but my experience is that pedestrians are by far the biggest danger anyway. Even if not on their mobiles or plugged into stereo, their ability to turn on their heel and walk straight into the road is remarkable. Perhaps I should fit daggers to my wheels and play the sound of a V8...
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 15:50 GMT MiguelC
From Apocalypse Now
And if you add the choppers and all kinds of war sounds, it's a sure way to get people's attention!
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:15 GMT BeerTokens
Re: Whatever they do, it will make sod all difference
I've found that riding 3ft from the kerb helps negate this. however this does mean that car drivers are less likely to give you the correct amount of room whilst overtaking, or drive straight at you whilst negotiating a parked car on the other side of the road. kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. Also not riding full tilt in busy areas helps (I was guilty of this but have taken a chill pill and things are less frantic)
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 17:21 GMT Robert Carnegie
I am death on two wheels.
I cycle with a rear view handlebar mirror with a convex curve (anti shake) - it means I can see whether the road is all mine or whether a grumpy (by default) motorist is approaching behind me. So I can either keep well away from pedestrians, or drop in towards the side of the road, slow down, and take care. As for pedestrians and dog walkers... I usually ring the traditional-type bicycle bell well before I reach them, whether I have particular suspicion that they'll leap out in front of me, or not. And I'm ready to brake. With all that, if I run over you anyway, then it will be really unfair, for me.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 01:44 GMT DiViDeD
Re: Whatever they do, it will make sod all difference
Most ridiculous thing I've seen in cycling terms was a bloke on a fixie (is that what they're called, basically no way to turn the pedals in either direction without moving the wheels too) doing a little 'to & fro' dance at traffic lights before eventually losing his balance and grabbing the car next to him. Just as the car driver decided to plug the gap between himself and the car in front.
I just kept thinking 'one foot on the ground, then start off when the lights change'. A difficult concept, I know.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 11:22 GMT molletts
Re: Whatever they do, it will make sod all difference
When I was at college, I sometimes used to see a guy doing that on a unicycle at the lights on Exhibition Road. The first time I saw it, I was so busy staring at him in amazement that I nearly walked into the lights myself :o)
Cycling in London looks hairy enough on a normal bike; doing it on a unicycle takes balls of steel.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 11:38 GMT John Brown (no body)
Ringtones for cars
We've already discussed this here a long while ago. It could create a whole new "service" industry which is totally pointless but make s a few people very rich.
Extra points for shooting drivers who choose either Hamsterdance or CrazyFrog.
Having said that, I bet each manufacturer will use a propriety audio codec or design the system in some way that you can only buy one from them.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 13:27 GMT J P
Re: Ringtones for cars
One year at the Dawlish Airshow they gave the Vulcan full beans as it headed back out to sea. It quite literally shook things off shelves and made things fall over in the hallway of my brother-in-law's flat (from where we were lucky enough to be watching). I have a feeling that there might be issues with having an entire high street full of those...
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:14 GMT PerlyKing
Tyre noise
I can't back this up, but several years ago I remember reading vague details about a supercar having trouble passing the type approval noise tests, for which they had to drive it past a noise meter at a constant speed. In frustration they tried coasting past with the engine off and it still failed the test just from the noise of the big fat tyres!
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 13:16 GMT Joe W
Having actually lived in a place with a substantial amount of electric cars: not such a big deal, but then most drivers were not hell bent on mowing down cyclists (or pedestrians, for that matter). You do get used to recognising the power converters' (or whatever) high pitched whine (at four decades old I can still hear it so... not _that_ high pitched), and register this as an incoming bogey.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 13:45 GMT Phil O'Sophical
Re: Loud speaker mounted on the roof
Hey Wanker with the earbuds, Look UP!
Too subtle. QM2-sized foghorn, linked to the pedestrian detection equipment from a self-driving car.
Assuming they survived the adrenaline jolt you'd probably also be able to book them for not carrying a plastic bag to cleanup the consequences from the pavement.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 01:53 GMT Robert Moore
I would prefer that electric cars be silent. There are already electric cars and hybrids on the roads that are silent, or near silent. I have not seen or heard of a drastic increase in accidents linked to silent cars. I also think as more cars are near silent ambient noise should drop off making the minimal noise they do make more noticeable.
This seems to be a problem that will solve itself.
But if we must make the world noisier place for no good reason, I vote for the Jetsons noise. (At least it will make me smile.)
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:06 GMT PerlyKing
TIE fighter sounds
I once owned a RVF400 with a "sporty" exhaust. A friend of mine told me that when I overtook her that sounded like a TIE fighter :-) Then again the same friend described the experience of following me closely as "like being constantly twatted round the head with a big sheet of plastic". It turned out that the exhaust wasn't totally to blame; some previous owner had packed the baffles with rock wool so tightly that it was effectively solid....
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:18 GMT Mint Sauce
Ice Cream Van Chimes...
Each manufacturer to have an allocated chime (Yankee doodle dandy for all usa built cars of course). The faster they go, the louder ( and more distorted) the chime. In fact, speed the chime up proportional to speed too..
Absolutely no downsides to this idea at all. Nope, none! ;-)
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:19 GMT Any mouse Cow turd
It's already in the market
Jaguar has already done this with the i-Pace. Exterior sounds for pedestrians (and guide dogs) as well as interior sound enhancement in sports/dynamic mode.
https://media.jaguar.com/en-gb/news/2018/10/guide-dogs-charity-supports-new-jaguar-i-pace-safety-sounds?q=&start=0&brand=jaguar
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:20 GMT Nick Kew
Discrimination!
Anyone in charge of a dangerous weapon - like a vehicle - needs to pay due care and attention, and not assume they can be heard. That's actually perfectly reasonable: as a cyclist I always have to be aware that pedestrians may not hear me coming!
That pedestrian who isn't wearing anything in the ears nor looking down at something might be profoundly deaf. The difference between silence and noise is useless to them. For a driver to rely on sound is discrimination at a potentially-lethal level!
To the rest of us, noise is just an unwelcome nuisance.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:58 GMT Chris Miller
My electric car* has (by default, there's a button to turn it off) an electronic noise (Acoustic Vehicle Alerting System) that plays if the petrol engine isn't running at speeds below ~35mph - I assumed all EVs did something similar. It vaguely resembles the noise of a conventional ICE, but I wonder if there might be a hack to replace it by a recording of a good 'ole V8 burble (or a TIE fighter, if you must).
* Mitsubishi Outlander PHEV
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 14:04 GMT Anonymous Coward
I've got a Honda Accord Hybrid and it certainly doesn't play any noises when it's not running the ICE, regardless of the vehicle's speed. I can still hear the electric motors if I try, but they're not always on either.
Personally, I'm quite happy with a car that doesn't make a ton of useless noise. Not a lot of pedestrians where I live, but plenty of drivers who don't bother to look where they're going. And my car still has the regular horn attached to warn oblivious idiots that they're trying to commit suicide. Quieter environments are better for your health too.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 13:11 GMT MJI
Best electric vehicle noise.
Found it first at New Street station, first time I had seen AC electric locos.
The big ones (86s 87s) with their various fans sounded powerful, and they are/were.
What is it about rail traction and noises?
GWR exhaust bark. English Electric charge cooled V engines. Napier triangle engines. AC express locos with fans on full blast.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 13:34 GMT Ian Michael Gumby
Huh?
First FFS! e-Cars do make a sound, you can hear them driving down the road.
Maybe not the loud raw sound of a V8, or V12 growling.
Now if you want to make a sound , lets at least be intelligent about it. Like artificial intelligent.
Lets give our cars a voice and really good sensors. As an example w lidar we can detect a fairly decent almost 3D image down to 1CM.
Suppose you add in sonar/radar so you can find objects with a fast scan and then use the various components to determine whether is animal, mineral, or a human Then using video detecting as well as RF sensors, determine if the person crossing the street is listenting to their phone / ipod, ects... and then in a rude voice tell the pratt to look up, and turn off their device and pay attention.
THere could even be a rude boy package that can further add cat calls or be rude to the offending pedestrians.
And even a more enhanced feature that could identify the person, hopefully a girl, go thru her public facebook photos and chats and then make some other rude comment or snarky comment.
As to why rude or snarky comments?
How would you feel if you had a car driving down the street saying 'Watch out Dearie' , 'Thank you' or 'God Blessed.'
Would that be sarcasm or a pious Prius that you want to beat in with the nearest heavy object.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 13:57 GMT Dippywood
A new take on a classic game
Announcing Colossal Airport Adventure
YOU ARE IN A REGIONAL AIRPORT FILLED WITH WARREN-LIKE PASSAGES LEADING ONTO NARROW WALKWAY AFTER NARROW WALKWAY, ALL LINED WITH STUPIDLY EXPENSIVE SHOPS AND FURTHER DIVIDED BY QUEUE BARRIERS WITH RETRACTABLE FABRIC SWABS FOR A LONG, LONG, SNAKING 1KM – FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WITH NO PASSPORT CONTROL OR SECURITY CHECK TO ACCOUNT FOR IT.
find boarding pass
CANNOT USE BOARDING PASS WITH NO PASSPORT
find passport
PASSPORT IS STILL AT SECURITY
return to security
YOU ARE IN A REGIONAL AIRPORT FILLED WITH WARREN-LIKE PASSAGES LEADING ONTO NARROW WALKWAY AFTER NARROW WALKWAY, ALL LINED WITH STUPIDLY EXPENSIVE SHOPS AND FURTHER DIVIDED BY QUEUE BARRIERS WITH RETRACTABLE FABRIC SWABS FOR A LONG, LONG, SNAKING 1KM – FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WITH NO PASSPORT CONTROL OR SECURITY CHECK TO ACCOUNT FOR IT.
....
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 15:43 GMT WolfFan
Bah
I advocate letting all know my exact intentions. The e-sound should be the drum Hortator from Ben-Hur (the good one, staring Charlton Son-of-God Heston) beating time, with a loud voice calling out, in Latin, "Give me ramming speed!" and the drum beats speeding up as soon as the car's on-board radar detects a target.
Alternatively, the sound of a Tiger tank's engine and tracks, with a voice calling out, in German, "Tanks advance!" and with the Horst Wessel Lied playing in the background. Unfortunately this might not work in Germany, they lack a sense of humo(u)r.
There are those who say that I have a bad attitude. I ignore them.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 17:46 GMT My other car WAS an IAV Stryker
Re: Bah -- tank sounds
The startup whine of the M1 Abrams' turbine engine is quite unique, especially the "FOOMP" as the ignition occurs, and then the whine REALLY gets going (faster and louder) until it reaches idle.
It may be called "whispering death" at a distance, but you don't want to stand in that exhaust stream!
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 15:48 GMT WallMeerkat
I once owned a big Honda with an automatic gearbox and petrol engine that was near silent on creep (the automatic mimics inching forward on the clutch, if you've never driven one). In a multistorey car park and 2 pedestrians walking down the middle of the roadway, awkward situation I keep behind them at a safe distance until they or I can move away, they turn around and seem startled that there was a car behind them all along that they never heard.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 17:10 GMT cream wobbly
Baffling
What on earth is this nincompoop on about?
"There is no e-sound. It has to be invented. The sound transports the emotions of a vehicle."
The emotions (e-motions?) of an electric vehicle are the hum and whine of the electric motor as you're launched forward at a frightening rate. I used to hear it on my RC-10 and imagine myself driving, and I've heard it on a Tezzler and imagined myself being driven.
Have these twits never heard a tram? or a train? or a Tezzler?
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 18:58 GMT Anonymous Coward
Why bother?
I drive for a living (conventional car) and have lost count of the number of phone or music player "zombies" I have nearly run down who are totally oblivious of ordinary cars, so I doubt whether making leccy cars audible in any way will make a lot of difference to these morons, who have obviously had all their auditory gubbins and self-preservation senses removed - not to mention other brain parts, such as sight receptors. If they take no notice of the noise (or the sight) of a car with an internal combustion engine, they sure as hell aren't going to register some new sound emitting from an electric vehicle.
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Wednesday 6th March 2019 22:57 GMT PhilipN
None of the above
I vote for a bloke with a red flag leading the vehicle on foot.
AND can we address the real problem* by reserving a particularly nasty part of the prison system for those select few (but too many) drivers of 'leccy vehicles who think they are doing the world a favour and believe they are entitled to drive like twats!
* I accept though what people say above about pedestrians charging unthinkingly into traffic. Seen it twice. Both times youngish girls somewhat pre-occupied. The first one, the bus (!) driver reacted instantly and she was left with a badly bruised shoulder. Damn lucky. Just imagine if he had been checking the mirror at that instant.
The second walked through a (pedestrian) red light and was left unconscious on the ground by a motor bike. Not his fault at all and he was not going particularly fast - he stopped barely yards away - but he would have had a nasty time of it from the local fuzz. Regardless of what happened to the poor girl none of us wants that.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 01:50 GMT Kevin McMurtrie
Just a quiet whoosh
No more urban noise pollution. Crosswalk buttons shouting "Wait" and vibrating are bad enough. I think everything for navigating a city should emit standardized ultrasonic or RF encoded signals that portable devices use to assist people with sensory impairments. Ultrasound or SHF radio should do well with their fast attenuation and the ability to locate sources with a small receiver array.
Up-sell potential: Donating $1000 to the deployment of this system lets you put a verb in front of your "car" signal.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 11:52 GMT Cuddles
Not that quiet
At road speeds, the vast majority of car noise comes from the tyres, it's only at very low speeds that engine noise is at all relevant. But we already know perfectly well that even then normal engine noise is not enough, which is why even big lorries with massive diesel engines make all kinds of additional noises to let you know they're there when they're just pootling around parking and such.
In addition, the idea that this is some kind of new problem caused by the rise of mobile phones and headphones is frankly hilarious. When I was a kid we were constantly bombarded with lessons and adverts going on about stopping, looking and listening, following the Green Cross Code, and so on. The problem of people diving headfirst into traffic without paying the least bit of attention has nothing to do with phones, millennials, the youth of today, or whatever modern thing you care to blame - it's been a constant of human existence since the very first proto-human first had the chance to injure themselves by not paying attention to something. Slightly quieter cars are not going to make things worse, and slightly quieter cars with loudspeakers aren't going to make things better.
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Thursday 7th March 2019 12:32 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Not that quiet
Yes, but just think of how much more interesting London would become, with random cyclist and electric cars with rotating daggers on their wheels, playing everything from the Imperial March to the Birdie Song, interspersed with the sounds of TIE fighters and explosions. We could even have named days with themes :-)
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Thursday 7th March 2019 14:34 GMT hmv
Not strictly speaking silent
a) Electric vehicles are not strictly speaking silent - there's road noise from the tires rolling across the road surface. Hard to tell when the roads are still full of fuel burners though.
b) Before saying they're too quiet to alert people, consider whether the advantage of quieter traffic might outweigh the advantage of alerting those who aren't looking.