Oz cops investigating screams of 'why don't you die?' find bloke in battle with spider You have to hand it to the passerby who called the cops after hearing a chap yelling "why don't you die?" along with the cries of a toddler. On its own that's rather concerning, but less surprising when you learn this happened in Australia, where the majority of fauna seem set on cleansing humans from the continent. Police …
Just look how much it took to take this one down:
Milking cow shot dead by police 'while trying to escape'
Massive operation with copter, 20 cars, SWAT team nails bovine fugitive
You wouldn't really want to get too close to a herd of cows if a mother decides you're a threat to its calf.
Cows officially the most deadly large animals in Britain
Farmers continue to be advised not to put calves and their mothers in fields accessible to the public
Having been in a field of cows behaving oddly & then running for my life (Doing the 100M faster than Linford Christie) as the herd chased me down (Having already wisely decided to cut my walk across the fields to the nearest stile), I'd disagree with the statement of "the most dangerous creature you're likely to run into is a dairy cow or red deer – neither of which actively seek to do people harm".
The only way I like cows are on my plate, with fries or between two bits of bread, finding a new purpose in death as my foot or outerwear (See icon) or on my furniture.
more people are killed by cows than by sharks each year.
And just this morning I came in to work to a large-ish huntsman spider on my office wall. I went to my chems-cupboard to get the insect-spray, then changed my mind and instead got a broom to scoop it onto the end of and deposit it in the garden out front. (Huntsmen are generally not lethal or particularly aggressive, but I believe their bite still hurts like hell.).
The best method id to trap them against the wall with a plastic Tupperware-style container, then carefully slide a piece of cardboard or paper in from the side and hold it on as a cover, allowing you to take the spider out side.
The problem with a broom is that the bastards are FAST when you disturb them, and are likely to take off across the room or up your broom handle towards you.
Squashing them is not a good option because then you have a big pile of wet meat to clean up.
Hmm... those huntsman spiders look a bit like king crab. Surely it just needs to be marketed properly. Perhaps we could call it the soft shelled Oz desert crab or something, fry it up, serve the legs on a toasted hot dog bun with butter and the rest in a nice bisque spiced with just a hint of cayenne.
> Even in Australia
...
And just this morning I came in to work to a large-ish huntsman spider on my office wall. I went to my chems-cupboard to get the insect-spray, then changed my mind and instead got a broom to scoop it onto the end of and deposit it in the garden out front. (Huntsmen are generally not lethal or particularly aggressive, but I believe their bite still hurts like hell.).
Where on earth did you grow up? Certainly not Australia.
Huntsmen's fangs are literally too small to pierce human skin. They mostly eat mosquitoes and other softbodied insects of that size.
"Generally not lethal"? Scuse me? Not even possible, let alone "generally not".
Aggressive? Never. They're terrified of giant humans and bolt if you try to get them. The only problem is for arachnophobes: they typically climb for safety, so if you scare them and you're too close and too slow, they will run up YOU.
Basically, any Australian will happily leave a huntsman roaming round their ceiling, because they'd only be there if there are irritating insects to eat. Yes, they can startle you if you wake and look up and see the 6-inch spread of legs above your head. But that's about as much as they can do to "lethal" you.
I swear... I've been away from Australia for 20 years... the place has gone to bloody pieces while I was away.
" Yes, they can startle you if you wake and look up and see the 6-inch spread of legs above your head. But that's about as much as they can do to "lethal" you."
I beg to disagree. I'm fairly sure that merely seeing a 6-inch sized spider would have me drop dead there and then via some kind of explosive heart failure. I once nearly walked face first into the tiniest of itty-bitty spiders that had the stupid idea of descending from the head jamb of a door I was going through at the exact wrong moment - I'm pretty sure a doctor would have no problem identifying the consequences on a set of before / after MRI scans...
They were either trying to distract the spider with a snack before making their escape, or offering a sacrifice to their new eight-legged god.
Probably trying to get the cat 'switched on' in a hurry - damn things don't come with a manual, and always seem to have a bad motivator.
Had the same problem with a rodent and two cat units, even locked in the room with the intruder they did nothing more than flick an ear at it. Wasn't until six hours later, incident forgotten, that a sudden rucus signalled the cats had come online and done the deed, took the dog by surprise and he went into full policeman mode barking and chased the cats out of the house like criminals.
.... this from 2015 - https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/nov/26/youre-dead-police-thought-man-trying-to-kill-spider-was-attacking-wife
“It was a spider,” the man replied sheepishly. “A really big one.”
“What about the woman screaming?”
“Yeah sorry, that was me,” he said. “I really, really hate spiders.”
It’s not the first time a spider has sparked alarm. Another arachnophobe set a service station in Michigan on fire in September after he tried to scare a spider away from his petrol tank using a lighter, with predictable results.
On kibbutz in Israel the women in the next apartment asked me to come and deal with a large hairy spider prowling their floor. It was grey with white-banded legs - the largest I had ever seen. I carefully placed a cardboard box over it and slid the lid home underneath. Then took it for a walk to the fields on the edge of the kibbutz.
The women were very relieved and offered me a coffee - then as we sat there they suddenly screamed and jumped on the bed. A large brown/black scorpion had just emerged from under the bed. My hand was not so steady trapping that critter - but it was taken away to join the spider.
When I was in Israel, I was tasked with removing a small spider from the room. I calmly pushed a piece of paper under him, and as I was about to pick it up to throw out of the window, the bastard jumped, almost hitting my face (I was bending down at the time)
That really gave me the willies. Apparently we have them over here too, but I've only ever come across them in Israel.
Spiders that can jump a few feet... Ought to be a law.
I fully endorse the use of flamethrowers to eradicate them
You wouldn't happen to live in Fresno, California, would you?
Oh you would have LOVED to see what I had to go through once then:
One of my ex-girlfriends had one of those old wooden houses in the mountains that we used to go to on the weekends. One of those times we decided to carry to the dumpster an old mattress that was sitting next to the outer wall. The mattress was covered in those little spiders with extremely long legs (daddy long legs?)
When we came back the following weekend, we opened the door and the door right across the hall was behaving rather strangely: it seemed like it was waving and moving all by itself, almost in an hypnotic way. Upon closer inspection, we figured out that this illusion of optic was caused by the HUNDREDS of spiders that were literally covering the whole door, top to bottom.
You see, it seems that when we removed the mattress, the spiders, now homeless, decided that moving inside the house was the next best place to be. They were EVERYWHERE. Thousands and thousands of spiders, EVERYTHING in that house was moving and waving.
And so, armed with nothing but old wrapped newspaper and magazines, for the next couple of hours I took upon myself the task of killing all those spiders while my cowardly girlfriend hid at a nearby coffee shop. I'm not particularly afraid of spiders, but even I had had enough after two whole hours of spider genocide. I had also run out of old newspaper and magazines.
And so, once the killing was done, we finally went to bed. You know that point when you are already in warm, confy, lala land, just about to fall deeply asleep? That's exactly when a live spider decided to fall down from the ceiling straight into my mouth.
Yeah. That day will forever be carved in my brain.
I don't have a particular fear of spiders, especially the harmless daddy longlegs, but if I had to deal with a house that contained thousands of them I would have bought one or more of those bug bombs and fumigated the entire house while sitting with the girlfriend in the coffee shop (or better yet bar, since I hate coffee) then vacuumed up all the dead spiders while half drunk.
There's no way you could kill all or even approximately all of the spiders when there are that many, and there's no reason to expect that thousands of daddy long legs wouldn't have attracted other - potentially poisonous - spiders hoping to feast on them. Who might be pissed when their meal ticket is taken away!
...there's no reason to expect that thousands of daddy long legs wouldn't have attracted other - potentially poisonous - spiders hoping to feast on them.
Actually, there is one good reason: daddy long-leg spiders (pholcidae) commonly eat many other species of spiders (including some highly venomous ones) as part of their diet, either after trapping them in their web or hunting them down. I hate spiders in general, but they're the one type I'm content to allow in my home.
Couple of years ago where I was living in the uk there was a (relatively for the area) massive invasion of bitey insects. I had a landlord inspection in the middle of it and apologised for the cobwebs explaining that I was trying to keep the flies under control by letting the spiders get established.
"Good idea!" said the landlord enthusiastically and the inspection proceeded without a hitch. I guess someone else had been bitten recently.
In boring, grey, temperate UK, the most dangerous creature you're likely to run into is a dairy cow or red deer
Bull...
dog.
Dog which bit Haddington man's genitals to be destroyed (17 October 2018)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-45892414
The Times, no less, reported that the genitals could not be reattached by surgeons because "they had been consumed". It also reported peanut butter had been applied to them. The victim is still alive but should get a Darwin Award since he won't be contributing to the gene pool now.
One of the most poisonous spiders happens to populate most of Britain (and many other countries). It's the "house or cellar spider" (pholcidae):
https://www.google.com/search?q=Pholcidae&source=lnms&tbm=isch
Before you start to panic: They can't harm us as they can't penetrate our skin. ;-)
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Thank you very much!
I got this from a TV documentary about spiders (German public service broadcasting) not so long ago. Apparently, they are far inferior to the BBC, when it comes to animal documentaries. They used to be rather good, though - decades ago. :-(
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Thanks! I just did. We don't have that distinction in most other languages. It was new to me.
German: giftig (both passive and active)
Italian: velenoso (same)
Spanish: venenoso (same)
French: venimeux (same)
Russian: ядовитый (same)
...
You get the idea. ;-)
Just the Fauna?
Little shop of horrors: the Australian plants that can kill you
Also worth noting the Adder is a somewhat dangerous creature in GB - at least if you catch one by surprise by stepping on it in the long grass!
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The list of plants missed one that has been known to cause a number of casualties including death.
The Bunya Pine has a cone that weighs up to 40 Kgs. They have been known to fall on people... They would also be suitable for squashing spiders...
In the UK you do get a few instances of cattle killing people
This is most likely to be female protecting a calf - some tend to react really badly to people walking dogs near to them (maybe instinctive predator response as hard wired wolf response could have been useful in the past or maybe just bad experience with being hassled by dogs in the past)
So treat cattle with due respect and don't just think its bulls you need to be wary of ... (especially if you risk taking a dog with you)
e.g.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5600036/Dog-walker-dies-after-being-trampled-by-cattle.html
Living with a field of cows (usually bullocks) at the bottom of the garden I'm used to them and don't really have issues. Even when there are mothers with calves they get used to me and the dogs and are generally more curious. When there are sheep with lambs in there - that's a different thing. I wouldn't dream of taking the dogs out then. They get very feisty!
The only weapon you need to dispatch spiders and most other home-invading arthropods is the Bug-A-Salt. It's a plastic spring-loaded pump shotgun that fires a burst of ordinary table salt with an effective range of about three feet. The salt blast can be directed into cracks and corners and behind breakable things, unlike a flyswatter or broom or newspaper. The salt is non-toxic to pets, won't damage surfaces, it usually doesn't splatter the bug so no mess, and salt vacuums up during regular cleaning. With practice, you can shoot bugs out of the air. Tape a small flashlight under it to illuminate dark corners.
I'm a proud owner, and can attest to its effectiveness. I bought mine when I had an infestation of flour moths, I mean HUNDREDS at once all through the house. Cleaned out the kitchen and pantry multiple times to no avail. I later found The Hive, a half-empty bag of cat food hidden behind something downstairs and removed their main breeding ground. Before then, I destroyed thousands of moths with the Bug A Salt. It also does stellar duty as a spider killer. In fact I blew away a couple of black widows in my Tiki Lounge, then fired a few blasts into the dark little corner to clean out any juveniles or eggs.
It usually gets a laugh at first mention, but it's really a nice design and works great.
In boring, grey, temperate UK, the most dangerous creature you're likely to run into is a dairy cow or red deer – neither of which actively seek to do people harm – so such a response to a spider here would naturally be mocked.
AFAIK adders are NOT extinct yet. Though their bite is usually not fatal and you have to live somewhere really out in the sticks to run into one.
There are also a set of lovely, protected creatures called bats. If you think that you will live long after an untreated bat bite you are up for a rare treat (pun intended). It's called rabies and while the land-walking mammal population in UK is rabies free, the bat's aren't and there have been a number of fatalities over the years.
Rabies in bats is not the same as land rabies. https://www.bats.org.uk/about-bats/bats-and-disease/bats-and-disease-in-the-uk/bats-and-rabies
Adders are certainly not extinct. Far from it. I see them quite often, but I do spend a lot of time outdoors.
I went hill walking on Skye with an Aussie hippy who was fitter than me, and when she got a safe distance away from me she went nude. I'm guessing that was meant to be motivational since I was covered from head to toe.
She ended up covered in engorged ticks, and she ignored my 'twist and pull' advice. Instead she smeared the ticks with tea tree oil, and they immediately dropped off dead.
I am not a fan of Aussies or hippies or tea tree oil, but tea tree oil is tick poison so I keep some with me on every country walk.
Avon's Skin So Soft for midges, tea tree oil for ticks.
I asked a hippie ecologist why honey isn't considered vegan, and she said because bees die making it. I said that was more a workers rights issue. I asked her why science shouldn't just exterminate midges that benefit no-one and plague every species, and she replied, "No. Midges play a vital part in Scotland's ecosystem. If it wasn't for midges then we'd be over-run with English tourists".
Getting them to drop off after they've bitten you wouldn't save you from getting Lyme disease
As well as tick viral encephalitis. While the British Isles are not officially listed as an area (rest of Europe is) I would not chance it. The aftermath is not pretty (to say the least).
Bzzt, wrong. If you get the tick off within 24 hours (or so) it hasn't had time to transmit the bugs for Lyme et al.
This is the basis for Nexguard (for example) flea and tick medication for dogs. The ticks/fleas bite the animal, then are killed by the medication circulating in their blood. The animal MUST be bitten for the parasites to get killed by the drug, but it happens before they infect your pet.
No. No. No. No.
Never ever use chemicals on ticks. They may well hate it and fall off but they may also disgorge (vomit) stomach contents back into your own blood stream as they do. Even if the eww factor of that isn't enough for you the increased chance of infection and Lymes should be.
Me? Not a hippy - just a trained outdoor instructor and wilderness medic.
> I asked a hippie ecologist why honey isn't considered vegan, and she said because bees die making it.
What complete tosh.
They eat pollen and vomit honey. End of.
If you take more than the hive needs, they might go hungry. But since commercial beekeepers spend half their lives driving hives to places swarming with pollen, this is a non-starter for anything other than "organic" or backyard/homegrown honey.
The fact that honey is extracted from the ENORMOUS supplies they lay up in honeycomb (the clue's in the name) , without there routinely being vast drifts of dead bees at the foot of the hive, might have been a bit of a clue for your self-righteous acquaintance.
My colleagues in South Africa advised me that most snakes would disappear when they heard your footstep vibrations.
Unfortunately the puff adder likes to sunbathe on paths - and doesn't get out of the way. Step on one - and they are possibly the world's fastest strikers in 250 milliseconds [probably sideways].
The very venomous black mamba runs for its hole - unfortunate if you are apparently blocking its way.
A friend had a large cat, Thomas, that was half Cape Wildcat. When they went to to their country plot the cat loved to find a Cape Cobra on the rocky kopje (hill). It would circle round the snake - just out of striking/spitting distance. The snake would raise its body and twist its head to follow the cat. After several turns the snake couldn't twist any more - it would have to untwist a turn. At which point the cat struck - grabbing it behind the head.
The cat also loved to torment the local pack of dogs. It headed for a wire mesh fence when they chased it. Against which it had earlier positioned a large cardboard box on its side - open side facing outwards. It dived into the box - then sat there slashing the nose of every dog that dared poke inside the box.
Australian Spider EATS Snake. Hors d'oeuvre, anyone?
Ex-Brit in Aus here. One of my colleagues is in hospital as we speak as the result of a spider bite (species unknown). Such was the necrosis, some part of the poor bugger's leg has already been sliced away, uncomfortably close to his scrotum I hear. As he's a body-builder, there's a lot more to go around but we're all hoping for a full recovery. That and emerging swinging-between-buildings skills.
Sure everything wants to kill you but, hey, embrace the danger. I'll be off this afternoon for a bit of body-boarding on a beach that was closed yesterday after a 2.5m white pointer was spotted. What you gonna do, sit in front of a monitor for the rest of your life?
Indeed.
Missus and I were working outside on the horse arena yesterday.
Fat spider runs over her hands while holding a sleeper board.
"Ugh, that's an ugly spider.... oh shit, that's a redback!"
Gloves! Thick tradie's gloves always and everywhere! After you've twisted and crunched them severely every time before putting them on. Because redbacks love hiding *inside* gloves when given a chance.
Why doesn't El Reg have an Australia-with-overlaid-skull-and-crossbones icon yet?
Something about over-developed muscles either attracts spider bites, or makes you more vulnerable to them.
I had a colleague whose hobby was cage-fighting, and who was ridiculously industrious about his physique. One bite from a humble white-tail, and he was off work for two weeks. A second bite, and such serious health problems set in that he never returned.
assuming it was a huntsman, as redback encounters usually result in a loud thump with a slipper and not much of a screaming, is to spray it with spider insecticide.
It will die.
But not before about 5 minutes of agony during which it'll run towards anything that is warm and moves.
You.
Me to my software using computer device [Pc, Mobile phone] nothing unusual with this.
Normally followed by "oh shit you just died again".
the earlier shouting normally is "Work you Bastard" but it rarely does, so I end up yelling argh die, die, die.
This is tech
Note: yelling & swearing helps to reduce pain & mental anguish, but will reduce learning.
Just as an antidote to all the scary stories here. I consumed a field of magic mushrooms, tripped and fell asleep. I woke up the next morning frozen to what I assumed was an alarm clock going ba ba ba. There was a circle of about ten lambs taking turns to jump over my chest and then queuing up to have another jump. My wrecked body was an ovine playground. They scarpered when I sat up, but it was just so cute it turned me vegetarian.
In retrospect the weirdest thing is that they queued - how British is that?
Just before or just after that I took mushrooms and saw a house spider do something amazing. It was hanging by a thread on my stairs and all eight of its legs were in a blur of motion so it looked like a ball. My friend saw it too, scared us silly, made us think it was a deity. Never killed a spider since.
I was in a field of cows that knew me with an american girlfriend who was terrified of them advancing on her. I told her, "Don't flinch, they are more scared of you than you are of them". Arguably the stupidest thing I've ever said, we had to run for it.
Lots and lots and lots of gallons of kerosene.
Paint the walls with kerosene. Use masks and oxygen tanks if you have to.
But don't light or torch anything. Everything that relies on oxygen should fail to enjoy the place that was doused in Kerosene.
And move away for one week. It worked for termites in my case. You can do one room at a time if you are short on options, which I did.
When we moved to France, I foolishly said to my Wife you take care of the spiders and I will take care of the snakes!
Current score (snakes) is 6 to me and two to my dog! The largest was just over 2 metres long and as thick as your wrist....not venomous but a very nasty bite.
I should have said I will take care of the elephants!
I'd been away from Australia too long....
Was there last year helping to clear out my Dad's house. Taking apart an old BBQ (with the thoughts of taking it to the charity shop) and a large Redback drops out just where my hands were and starts proceeding slowly towards the flowerbed. At this point I remembered where I was - too long in good old Blighty had clearly eroded my childhood instilled caution against all things deadly.
We were much more careful with the other stuff after that - a few more redbacks were found (and pressure washed away) - but no bites fortunately.
I hope the new owner is enjoying their new BBQ - the only redbacks left now should be the ones that are really good at hiding!
In the sixties our pet cats used to play with funnelwebs they caught from the ground nest out front, then bring them inside, then forget about them and go eat dinner.
It was my job to kill the funnelwebs, I remember one with a big rip in its back from its play session.
Point is, cats are immune to funnelweb venom as well as quick with their paws.
Funnelwebs also wandered in of their own accord. We were never bitten, +1 to whoever pointed out that most Australian wildlife has no interest in humans
My cousin and I eventually located the funnelweb nest, poured petrol down it (leaded) and lit it. Out came a number of large black flaming funnelwebs.
I haven't seen another funnelweb on that property in 56 years.
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