
Cue the Who
Look, he's crawling up my wall
Black and hairy, very small
Now he's up above my head
Hanging by a little thread
Boris the spider
Kill it with fire! A bloke in Fresno, California, almost burned his parents' house down when he opted for a blowtorch to address the property's black widow spider population. The skittish house-sitter called the cavalry to the Woodward Lake housing development late on Tuesday. Twenty-nine firefighters responded and …
Ah, memories. In my case didn't discover it until after childhood. When, as a teenager, my uncle presented me with, 'Uncle Bob's Supertape'. Which he proudly informed me had 8 of the 20 world's worst ever songs on it - as voted for by whatever record collecting magazine he reads.
It also had 'Boris the Spider' and Warren Zevon's 'Werewolves of London' on it - plus some other good stuff. So it was a pretty good tape. Captain Bob is still DJing down in Brighton - one of his sets being the worst records ever, should the host be foolish enough to pick it...
My childhood spider song is something by Roger Whittaker: link to Youtube. Found the songs from that LP on Youtube recently - and it's been fun to bring back childhood memories. 'The Unicorn' is a good song too. Or is that the nostalgia talking?
Laugh it up, but a flame thrower isn't out of the question.
The US can't beat Australia when it comes to deadly spiders, but there are some parts that can become unimaginable. I've seen a farm field of miles plagued by Wolf spiders (migration or some displacement was assumed). Walking from one end to the other would mean certain death. The speed at which they move in unison is amazing. A slash and burn was executed.
Rats. Not necessarily on their own, but I've seen a rat farm be abandoned due to tax reasons that turned into a biblical problem for neighbors. Almost a half mile away you could hear their hissing. In that case, someone illegally used an actual flame thrower to start the initial fire.
If you have ever lived by a major river in the world, you've no doubt have encountered river rats. During their weird mating seasons, you wouldn't want less than a flame thrower (ballistic weapons just make them aggressive and moody).
"you've no doubt have encountered river rats"
"river rats" in the UK are actually aquatic voles, an endangered, protected and harmless species. Following the reintroduction of otters to our local river I've recently seen a water vole, and I don't want anybody to misunderstand this post and attack these rather lovely little creatures.
"The US can't beat Australia when it comes to deadly spiders,"
There is two, maybe three, Aussie spiders you want to avoid. Red back and funnel web can actually be fatal. White tails may or may not eat your flesh with their venom, the jury is still out.
"I've seen a farm field of miles plagued by Wolf spiders (migration or some displacement was assumed). Walking from one end to the other would mean certain death."
Wolf spiders isn't one of them. Itchy, mild pain, some swelling, but you get that from most insect bites.
Aussie snakes is where we are world beaters. Last I checked we have seven of the top twenty most dangerous snakes.
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This:
https://india.mongabay.com/2018/09/06/new-antivenom-could-be-a-gamechanger-in-treatment-of-snakebites/
Suggests that number is ~1000 per year, accounting for population (which india has about 53x the population) would be the equivalent of 19 people a year in australia dying. Instead very few people die in Australia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_snake_bites_in_Australia
The important part is: "Wide access to antivenom and adequate medical care has made deaths exceedingly rare with only a few fatalities each year.". 5 people died in 2018 making it ~4 times less likely to die from a snake bite here compared to India.
"Don'ts:"
Don't kill the spiders, especially the ones that are keeping the local ant population at bay. Also, don't follow that up by letting your young daughter leave chocolates under the bed, that's only make the ant problem worse. Ask my ex and her daughter how I know.
"Amateur, flame thrower for the win..."
Is that an Elon Musk Boring Company Flamethrower?
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Our youngest is arachnophobic and was from a young age. A cry of horror would bring me upstairs to be presented with what the rest of us would all a money spider but to her had assumed the threat of a giant tarantula.
I would dutifully evict these arachnids outside, until my scientific interest brought me to a study showing house spiders evicted almost always die. Either the cold gets them, birds get them or other spiders get them. Outside is a patchwork of abutting spider territories and an evicted house spider has to navigate that without becoming lunch, most fail.
I would also find the occasional silverfish and with those two concerns combined I refused any further spider evictions and instead pointed out to said offspring that the piles of mess on her floor were ideal spider habitat and if she cleared up she would have fewer spiders.
Which had the effect of making her too scared to go near them . . .
She was the offspring who failed to notice the wasps buzzing and dying between the window and the secondary glazing, both shut (so how did they get there?). Turned out they had burrowed into the sill etc and were flying about so I had to be up a ladder with wasp killer spraying all access holes and later with the caulking gun blocking them all with tinted silicone.
When the double glazing installers got to that window I warned them they might find gruesome things.
We get a lot fewer spiders since the two offspring finally moved out (they both boomeranged).
The irony? said offspring now lives in NZ which has an actual slightly venomous native spider, the katipo. Except it is kin to the Aussie redback some of which have made the jump across the Tasman by inadvertent (we hope) human agency and they have interbred . . .
You have to be bit a few times to get over it. I was similar, but now me and the most poisonous spiders in north America have a love hate relationship. I've been bitten by every common spider in north America several times. I've been worried of death twice.
The problem as you pointed out, is that you need them. If you're fortunate not to need them, that's great (although I would wonder what's lurking in those walls and introduce spiders myself). Imo, a tarantula is one of the better ones to get over your fear as they don't constantly bite every time. But I'd just use one at a pet store to tackle that fear. They used to let you hold them for a bit (although due to the conditions, the things are always a little afraid there, rightfully).
I have to evict all spiders due to my wife’s arachnophobia, they take their chances in the cold which is slightly better than my wife’s preference of vacuuming or flooding.
Whilst swimming in a Los Angeles motel pool, I saw a dead black widow floating on the water about 500 ms before it went into my mouth with a gobfull of water.
How can one person have been bit by every common spider in the US? While I'm sure I have been at some point and didn't know it, I'm not aware of ever being bit by a spider. I'm certainly not arachnophobic, but I'm also not a fan so I don't go out of my way to bother them unless it is to kill one that commits the grave sin of being seen in my house. Do you have a job that takes you into cellars and crawlspaces or something?
As for werdsmith swallowing pool water, I echo Big John's comment and suggest that the dead black widow was almost certainly the least disgusting thing in that mouthful of water - especially if you were in the San Fernando Valley area of LA (aka "porn valley") If El Reg permitted emojis, here's where I'd type the green faced one that's about to become sick.
@Muscleguy: Not many dangerous species here in NZ. However the the Avondale Spider is fearsome to behold. It was featured in the Movie Archnaphoobia. Further reading here https://www.landcareresearch.co.nz/science/plants-animals-fungi/animals/invertebrates/systematics/spiders/avondale-spider
However Orcland has other issues :)
Douse the whole site with kerosene.
But don't light it up, just leave it there.
Cover (tarp?) the place up, and go live somewhere else for a week.
Kerosene fumes will do the trick, not just against spiders, but pretty much anything else that breathes oxygen, including humans and all sorts of pets.
"The astronomers were shining laser pointers on the wall to tease random jumping spiders they found. The arachnids were mildly curious about red laser light but unleashed eight legs of fury trying to catch the moving green dot.
Morehouse tweeted how green could be more triggering to spiders because of their acute color vision in this spectrum. And when pressed about the astronomers' celestial interests, Morehouse calculated that jumping spiders, indeed, have the visual acuity to see the distant moon, if they were so inclined."
https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2018-10/uoc-nsf102618.php
As regards the evolutionary psychology, I think the significant adaptation is to remove anything that looks as if it could be an ectoparasite. Spiders have the misfortune to look like bigger and nastier (more legs) versions of fleas and the like so the beneficial reaction goes into overdrive.
If you actually use one these days. Usually rolled up and used with great impact.
The Garfield comic strip usually has something about these at least once a month.
These guys overwhelmingly weave their webs at most 2 feet off the ground. I see a lot of them while walking; have to look at your feet all the time as they weave between a wall and the sidewalk in the San Gabriel valley. There are many (dozens) now, but, after Halloween, they'll all be wiped out. The kids and parents trample them.
After seeing that photo of a spider dragging a mouse up the side of a 'fridge, and the one of the spider eating a frog, not to mention bird eating spiders, I'd say you got lucky. Did you sneak up on the little bugger, or was he having trouble getting the blow torch lit?
I was staying with a friend of mine in California. After a river rafting trip I had a pair of soaking wet trainers which I left outside on the porch overnight. After they had dried out I went to put them on, but my friend stopped me, turned the shoes over and knocked a black widow out of one of them. That reminded me how far from home I was.
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Only good thing about the little buggers is that you have to work quite hard to get one to bite you. Mostly they prefer to get out of the way, or sit quietly even if you disturb stuff around them.
Nevertheless, in parts of North America it's a good idea to check boots before putting them on, and wear work gloves when reaching into dark corners.
I know a guy who does inspections for prospective house buyers, and he reckons that he gets one black widow bite for every 25 or so crawl spaces he checks. It's an occupational hazard and like a mild dose of the flu, apparently.