UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

UKIP screwed its members at the weekend by doubling the price of branded condoms for sale at the party's conference as supplies started to run dry. Sunnylvsfjorden Fjord in Norway with a cruise ship Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters READ MORE The youth wing – …

[John Mangan]

WTF!

No, that's the suggestion.

[VinceH]

Re: WTF!

Retain the picture of Farage, and use the caption "This is what happens when you don't use protection!"

[Francis Boyle]

Re: WTF!

Just retain the picture. Make it an 8x10 glossy for good measure, securely sealed in a strong envelope. Just break the seal and whip it out at the right moment and your little wrigglers aren't going anywhere today.

[Korev]

UKIP when you're done?

[Pascal Monett]

Don't forget to put it over your head

[Geekpride]

"You don't need this. Go fuck yourself."

[Stjohn Roe]

It's too late to pull out now

[Scott 53]

UKIP do things differently

Everywhere else the condom goes on the prick

[wurdsmiff]

For the multipack

Made for a bunch of c**ts

[SVV]

Re: For the multipack

And for the extra strength ones : made for a bunch of arseholes

[Shaha Alam]

here's me thinking UKIP would be more in favour of the *pull-out* form of contraception.

haw haw narf narf.

[Aladdin Sane]

I'm surprised there's anybody in that party with depth and warmth. Thought they were all pricks.

[Richard Boyce]

Close the border.

[Anonymous Coward]

"A Burqa for your Boner"

[macjules]

A small but vital message ...

"Wear our condoms: because you don't want your children to grow up looking like Nigel Farage"

[The Alphabet]

"Here's your 350millimetres a week"

[Jemma]

Wait a minute..

Why would ukip-eers be wanting condoms? Don't they need all the vulnerable young minds they can get hold of for indoctrination into the 5th Reich?*

"Give me a child until he is 7 years old and he will be mine for life". Not, you might be surprised to hear Jimmy Saville - but Machiavelli - and also the Godbotherers Collectives. It's harder to break beliefs, structures & mindsets taught in early life - than it is to break later ones.**

*The 4th being Dickwitian Inbredistan***.

** Which explains redneck fundamentalists - they're a mental age of 7 for life (all the inbreeding & Waltons Mountain University***)

*** thank you John Cadogan.

[macjules]

Re: Wait a minute..

Not sure how much of that you could fit on the back of a condom packet ...

[Clunking Fist]

Re: Wait a minute..

Oh, Jemma, Jemma, Jemma. Of course it is the UKIPers who are indoctrinated, not the liberals who graduated in social sciences...

[codejunky]

Eh?

Reading the article it seems someone is either trying to be funny, not realising UKIP is more free market/libertarian or an SJW.

"UKIP screwed its members at the weekend by doubling the price of branded condoms for sale at the party's conference as supplies started to run dry."

Responding to market forces (supply and demand) is screwing its members when their product is popular?

"But as demand outstripped supply, those spotty-faced capitalists exploited their electorate."

People who understand how the market works and so demonstrate a shocking competence in how the world works considering general reporting of youth wings.

As for something to print on the next batch- For winners

[Rich 11]

Re: Eh?

"For fucking idiots"

[codejunky]

Re: Eh?

@ Rich 11

"For fucking idiots"

Dont be like that. Not all remain voters are idiots

[Loyal Commenter]

Re: Eh?

You are Kate Hoey AICMFP

[Rich 11]

Re: Eh?

Dont be like that. Not all remain voters are idiots

Unlike the noticeable majority of Leave voters. After all, who in their right mind leaps out of the frying pan (as Leavers describe the EU) and into the fire? Yes, the fire. You're still waiting for all your wonderful Day One free trade treaties to be signed, as promise by your magnificent-brained leaders. And especially after the German car companies had strong-armed Mrs Merkel into bending over and forcing the German government to submit to your every wish, so that you arise triumphant from the ashes of the failing European Union.

Bored now.

[Clunking Fist]

Re: Eh?

Rich 11

Kia Ora from The Fire(TM)! Yes, it's wonderful down here in sunny New Zealand, living life in The Fire. Or, as we prefer to say: an independantly-functioning nation state!

Kia kite koe i muri mai!

Clunkers

[Libertarian Voice]

Re: Eh?

Just imagine how stupid the average voter is and realise that 48 percent of them are stupider than that.

[Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?]

Re: Eh?

@codejunky

FYI - You misspelled "Wiener"

[codejunky]

Re: Eh?

UKIP! Not an accident!

[BitCoward]

Re: Eh?

For arseholes, though technically not required as a contraceptive.

[Jemma]

Re: Eh?

As for something to print on the next batch - "For Whiners (tm)"

There, fixed it for you. Aren't I nice..

[codejunky]

Re: Eh?

@ Jemma

"There, fixed it for you. Aren't I nice.."

Thats a great idea. Marketing to a wider audience by including the remainers!

And of course market to leave voters- "Be responsible. Brexit"

[Clive Galway]

Doubly effective contraception!

If Nigel Farage's face doesn't bring you off the boil, you can always open the packet!

[Flugal]

"...packs of johnnies emblazoned with the face of ex-glorious leader Nigel Farage."

Did we really need further confirmation that Farage is a bell end?

[Chronos]

Inflation

"Look, mummy, Nigel Fromage balloons!"

"They're bubbles, dear, and they're about to burst."

[Aladdin Sane]

Re: Inflation

Farage is a spunk bubble?

[Jemma]

Re: Inflation

And I now have the mental image of an 8 year old girl from Clacton blowing up rubbers like party balloons...

Thank you so very much for that...

[Dippywood]

First we screwed the country, now let's screw each other.

[Anonymous Coward]

standard, small, large

But do they have the BSI Kitemark or the CE symbol on signifying EN ISO 4074 compliance?

The CE symbol verifies that

the product meets the essential requirements

of the medical device directive 93/42/EEC and

2007/47/EC. Manufacturers are required to follow

specific conformity assessment procedures

that include submitting a dossier to a European

Notified Body. Compliance with EN ISO 4074

(European designation for the standard) can be

taken as evidence of compliance with the essential

requirements of the medical device directive.

Manufacturing facilities are required to be certified

to ISO 13485.

[katrinab]

Re: standard, small, large

This is UKIP we are talking about. Of course they are not going to trouble themselves with EU directives.

[NerryTutkins]

Re: standard, small, large

Yes, Nige tests them all with whichever European lady he's currently cheating on his wife with. No need for 'experts'.

[GruntyMcPugh]

Re: standard, small, large

@AC I doubt they meet any standards, and thus, like the electorate on Brexit, they'll split.

[RGE_Master]

Re: standard, small, large

In bird culture this is considered a "Dick move"

[EddieD]

Not really a problem

As UKIP are all wankers.

[smudge]

Giant size...

... because you're such a prick.

[NerryTutkins]

optimistic

I thought that being a misfit virgin with unattractive appearance and poor personal hygiene is all part of living the UKIP dream. Condoms? They should be so lucky. They ought to be selling pornography and cheap easily washable socks.

[msknight]

Ukip Condoms

Because we believe we could exit without leaving a mess behind, that'll cost us more money in the long run.

[RGE_Master]

Putting it bluntly, the majority of the people in those far right wing groups, should use those going forward in order to not taint the human population with their defective DNA in the future.

I actually typed DNS there but caught myself.

[Clunking Fist]

" in those far right wing groups, "

It's interesting that you think UKIP are far right. You commie traitor...

;^)

[spold]

No in-de-pants-dance

Up your exit

[James 51]

No means no.

[msknight]

UKIP Condoms

As stretchy as our promises.

[Aladdin Sane]

Re: UKIP Condoms

Hopefully not as full of holes though.

[Steve Davies 3]

Not content with wanting to **** all of us

They seem to want to do the same to each other.

And they want us to vote for them?

[Roger Greenwood]

UKIP - Come with us

[Scott 53]

Caption

Always well lubricated

[Pete 2]

Subsidised by everyone else

You would have thought that the entire rest of the country would chip in to make these free to all Kippers whether at their conference or elsewhere. Who would want to risk another (accidental) generation being produced.

[Scott 53]

XTC got there before all of us

We're only making plans for Nigel

We only want what's best for him

We're only making plans for Nigel

Nigel just needs this helping hand

[Loyal Commenter]

"Because withdrawal is never the best method"

[Loyal Commenter]

Or

"So no-one else has to clean up your mess when you pull out"

[John Mangan]

Please! Just make it stop!

Nothing to do with the article.I just needed to vent.

Sorry.

[Mike Moyle]

Brexit Condoms

"Formerly Known as French Letters"

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: "Formerly Known as French Letters"

"Back in the days when the excuse was "The English have landed".

Many of the wars between England and France were about various English (French descended) rulers trying to retain or increase their French holdings. IIRC Mary was the one who lost the last possession in France - "When I am dead [...] Calais will be engraved on my heart".

[Bitsminer]

Not for me

I wouldn't stand for it.

[Dippywood]

Re: Not for me

Come again?

[Crisp]

Re: Not for me

That's a bit of a stretch.

[MJI]

Need to detoxify Nigel

And start with the famous dog.

A much nicer Nigel than the condom one.

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't be a Trump - cover your stump.

Don't be a May - use one each lay.

Don't be a fool - cover your tool.

Rather than thank her go be a wanker.

Make her mind easy - go wrap your squeazy.

Herpes: the gift you shouldn't keep giving.

(A picture of a dart board with the condom about to hit the bullseye.)

Slippery when wet.

Objects in hand may be bigger than they appear.

Wrap it in plastic before you get spastick.

Put it in a sheath lest you bequeath.

You'll get better rumpy if you cover your stumpy.

Thank you! I'll be here all week. Try the steak & don't forget to give your waitress a generous tip!

Ba-dum-tish!

[Efer Brick]

Has the party split?

[Simon Harris]

£2 for a condom...

So that's the 'price worth paying' for Brexit.

[Simon Harris]

"Supplies started to run dry"

So not the lubricated version then.

[cornetman]

Jesus Christ, so much rage in one page of comments.

Did someone put something in the water?

I thought I'd accidentally navigated to Twitter. :O

[Elmer Phud]

Rage?

Oh no, not rage - mere observations.

Though I'm not sure why they are selling them as Sir Nige of Thanet just goes on an onan onan onan on,

[Loyal Commenter]

Rage? What I'm seeing is a whole load of mockery, with a smidgeon of satire.

Does this fill you with rage? Does it make your face all red like a shouty man on BBC QT?

[Velv]

Bait and Switch

Hmmm, the price goes up after you've signed up to being fucked.

A bit like their Brexit plans then

[MonkeyCee]

UKIP condoms

Ideal for fucking the whole country.

[Elmer Phud]

Re: UKIP condoms

A bit bloody late then . . .

Now they will put them on their heads to try and protect themselves from the shitstorm that is comeing

[Borg.King]

Nigel's Condoms

'For when you cannot contain your excitement!'

[Chris G]

Made in the EU

[Anonymous Coward]

Cherry flavoured

Cherry* flavoured - lose your cherries, no cherry picking or cherry pickers.

*

E129 colouring red - Approved in the EU and US, Undergoing phase out in UK.

E154 colouring brown - Approved in the EU for dyeing kippers only,

E909 sweetener -spermaceti wax (synthetic). Industrial lubricant.

E numbers courtesy of the European Food Safety Authority (EFSA), the agency of the European Union (EU) that provides independent scientific advice and communicates on existing and emerging risks associated with the food chain

[Ken Moorhouse]

UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

Otherwise known as trade barriers.

[Learn To Embrace Failure]

Trade Barriers

Protection against a Hard Brexit

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm just surprised that any of these wankers get laid.

[Rabbit80]

Keep Farage :- "What a dick!"

[JulieM]

Nigel Farage Condoms

If only his dad had used one .....

[Celeste Reinard]

Heads up

One small cock of a man, one giant cock-up for Britain

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd just go with "Brexit - We're fucked. Why not get a head start?"