
Well....
I guess things have moved on from queing for your essential bread in a great depression to smashed avacado sandwiches delivered to you while you wait in a queue for apples...
The most shameless press release of the week award goes to Deliveroo for trying to share the limelight with Apple by offering to bike food to fanbois queuing for the latest iPhones released tomorrow. “Forget crushed crisps and soggy sandwiches to snack on when waiting in the cold and rain to get the newest iPhone,” PR babble …
This post has been deleted by its author
Umm, smashed avacado sandwiches seems to be a step backwards in the general state of the sandwich. I remember, in the late eighties, the "too your desk" sandwich lady used to deliver Avocado, Bacon, Brie and Red Current Jelly sandwiches. Maybe the late eighties was peak sandwich and everything that followed is just a bland pale interpretation of those times. Maybe there is a phone manufacturer which exemplifies that blandness?
Because they are Millennials and it's all about the 'experience'.
Well, I could have been the father of a Millennial if I had been that daft about it, and they can stuff their 'experience' in a non-solarly-irradiated orifice.
Camped out with two like-minded friends in front of an audio shop having a sale, supported by a transport bike, a coffeemaker, an extension cord that the shop was kind enough to run under their door and plug in at closing time the evening before, water[0], blankets, and assorted food and other drinks.
[0] which partly froze on opening the bottle, as it was January and well below zero during the night.
I’d rather have a (bacon and) fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce. It’s a state of the art sarnie. It's like a cross between food and bowel surgery.
Mind you, I can’t think of many things I’d rather be doing less than queuing for some new gewgaw - but I suppose that queuing whilst paying over the odds for a hipsterish sandwich is one of them.
I find it more worrying that people spending such money generally aren't at work from 9-5 in order to queue all day for, and collect, said phone.
What we have is either a nation of already-retired millionaires splashing their money on tat and pizza and enjoying sitting in a London street in a queue, or a nation of people who really have nothing else better to do spending money they don't actually have or should be spending on other things.
I'm not entirely sure which one I find more disturbing.
The obvious problems (YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY BUYING and whether it's even any good) pale in comparison to "how/why have you afforded to have a day off work to queue in the British wind and rain to buy a phone that I would have to seriously check my bank balance before I even thought about purchasing it?"
That said, this year alone, Apple's support has cost them hundreds of iPads and dozens of Macs from my workplace, because we're ditching them all purely because of their ridiculous and totally uninterested, and not even compliant with Companies Act support and communication (i.e. I was refused the address of the company's head office and they do not have any kind of proper complaint process. As the Head of Written Complaints, Apple, Ireland - that's all I could get out of him on the phone - REFUSED to confirm to me in writing the most basic of information, or even acknowledge that they'd received my complaint. They literally took zero action except to phone and tell me they wouldn't even reply to the recorded-delivery letter demanded mandatory details of their company).
Why anyone would ever do business with Apple, I absolutely cannot fathom.
"What we have is either a nation of already-retired millionaires splashing their money on tat and pizza and enjoying sitting in a London street in a queue, or a nation of people who really have nothing else better to do spending money they don't actually have or should be spending on other things.
I'm not entirely sure which one I find more disturbing."
The latter possibility is worsened by the fact that:
Apple customers will presumably be lining up to buy the latest iGadgets on Friday, though they will only be able to purchase the most expensive iPhones first - the XS and XS Max - with the other models due to hit the streets next month.
The nature of fanboyism (and this doesn't just apply to Applytes) is that sufferers are more likely to try to get something sooner, even if it's the more expensive option, rather than wait. Companies like Apple know this, and they're exploiting it.
"I find it more worrying that people spending such money generally aren't at work from 9-5 in order to queue all day for, and collect, said phone."
Given that launch day is a "known date", err ... annual leave (aka vacation day aka holiday)?
(not saying that I understand or condone the behaviour either, mind!)
I recently attempted to buy a new Imac because Apple has the best screen reader for the blind, hands down bar none.
First I went into a store, specced it out, handed over my CC, & went home thinking I had just bought myself a new computer. Custom order with free shipping to my home, and I was looking forward to getting it. I hadn't been home even thirty minutes when I get an SMS & email stating there was a problem charging my card & I need to contact my bank. I get said notices five minutes after my bank closes for the rest of the weekend. I get to twiddle my thumbs until Monday, but at least I figured that my bank was on their toes to block the potential fraud use of my card. First thing Monday I call my bank, authorize the charge, get the fraud limit raised on a one time, temporary for 24 hours, so Apple can try to make the charge again. Call up Apple, explain situation, give order number, reconfirm my CC details, & tell them they've got less than 24H to place the charge or they'll hit a wall again. The CSR assures me the charge went through fine. Wednesday morning I get another SMS & email stating there was an issue with charging my card & I needed to talk to my bank. I check my balance & Apple didn't bother to even TRY to place the second charge, so they ignored the 24H limit & slammed face first into the fraud wall again. I decide I'll let the order die, take cash out of my account, & go back to the store to pay it all up front. Except later that same day I get an SMS & email congratulating me on my order, informing me that the next notices will be when it ships, & to enjoy my new computer. I check my bank again & *NOW* there's a charge for the computer - dated Monday. Except there was no charges pending when I checked earlier, my bank knew nothing of any Apple attempt, & it appears out of the blue in the hours between breakfast & lunch. Thursday the computer shows up & I sign for it. It doesn't work. I call up Apple "Accessibility Tech Support" (ATS), let them know the situation, & we spend the next two days trying to troubleshoot the issue. We finally make an appointment back at the store where I bought it for an "Accessibility Urgent Matter - Accessibility Expert Required" meeting. I get there 15 minutes before the appointment only to find out they had let their "Accessibility Expert" *go for a three hour lunch* & wouldn't be back any time soon. They give me a newly hired, not acquainted at all with accessibility, still wet behind the ears Rookie instead. He has to ask multiple questions of multiple coworkers before he can even figure out how to enable the screen reader (I tried to tell him it was Command F5), but once he was there he found the right bits. He plugged in their local keyboard & didn't even unpack the one that came with my machine, and when I asked if we could swap mine for another one I got no answer. He made sure the 'reader was on, auto launched after reboot, then packed my system back up & told me to have a nice day. I take it home, set it up, & it still won't acknowledge any keyboard I use. Three different Windows-centric, the Apple specific, & *none* of them were recognized by the machine. I called ATS back up again & told them the situation. They suggest I take *just* the keyboard back & exchange it. Except when I DO the CSR claims they can't find my order & wants to charge me for another keyboard. I'm so livid I go back home, pack it all back up, & arrange to return it the next day for a refund. The fuckers at the store tried to tell me I had to initiate the return online, even though I made the original purchase at their own counter. I told them they could either take it back & give me my refund, or I could place it on the hood of my sighted helper's car & plow it through their front doors in a shower of broken bodies, shattered glass, & chunks of brick. They opted to give me my refund.
I don't know WTF they thought they were doing, it could be just issues with THAT store, but it has painted Apple with a very shitty brush & I'll *!NEVER!* do business with them again. Why anyone else would do business with them is a mystery to me, but obviously mine is one case out of millions. Still, Apple can go fuck themselves with a 21.5 inch Imac, spinning, with the keyboard & mouse tethered to the sides.
I told them they could either take it back & give me my refund, or I could place it on the hood of my sighted helper's car & plow it through their front doors in a shower of broken bodies, shattered glass, & chunks of brick. They opted to give me my refund.
Nicely done. I have a strange respect for people who know the right thing to say at the right time, and not 30 minutes later fuming in a local coffee shop.
I'm one of those odd bastards that gets *quiet & calm* when I get angry. (I was once accused of shouting at a student on the playground during one of my shifts; my son told them "My dad doesn't yell, he gets quiet. If he starts to smile, RUN!") It lets me think of creatively evil things to say/do in retaliation. I tend to deliver such lines in a tone of voice that implies that if I *DO* "snap", the person I'm speaking to will find out the hard way that there ARE worse things than death. Like still being alive after an SUV plows through a wall, parks on your chest, & leaks boiling radiator fluid all over your torn flesh. It's like salt in the wounds, only boiling & acidic. Most folks think "Psycho nut job!" & decide to run away rather than keep pushing, and I think that's the big reason they decided to give me the refund. If they have to choose between giving me back my money or paying the legal & hospital bills for a lobby full of victims that Apple could have prevented, they smartened up enough to do the refund.
I was probably wearing my t-shirt that read "I void warranties". *Gleefull evil cackle*
"Why anyone else would do business with them is a mystery to me, but obviously mine is one case out of millions."
A mystery to me too.
We had a number of Macs, for some specific purposes, and IT did all the microcomputer maintenance.
We talked to Apple about it, and arranged to send one of our senior micro techs to them for training, so we could do the same with the Apples.
Apple happily took him for every single technician course that they had - costing us, in today's dollars, a hair under a million bucks.
One of our machines failed. Our tech, went out, diagnosed it, decided what he needed to do, and contacted Apple for the part he needed.
Apple refused to sell it to us, because we were not an Apple dealer.
Three months later, the Macs were gone.
At that point I was resolved to never, ever buy hardware from such a sleazy bunch of con artists.
I have been very happy with that decision in the subsequent decades.
So...
Despite all of their awfulness, you managed to make them the *less* awful party by commiting what would be characterized as a terrorist threat in the U.S. and which I am willing to bet money on is still a crime in the UK, and they caved in to threats of murder, mayhem and destruction rather than ring the police to come and cart you off down the nick, and somehow you think this makes you a hero?
Shite customer experience is a shite customer experience, regardless if the customer is sweetness and light or a psycho nutjob.
What happened to equality? Or is some equality more equal than others*...?
Pyschoist.
*I had to read this several times over. I doubt it makes sense. Then I realised where I was.
@disgustedetc
I think the situation is different to your auntie (gawd bless 'er). A Cliff Richard 'gig' to use the modern parlance, has a strictly limited number of tickets available, and demand may well exceed supply, so queueing may be the only way to be sure of getting a ticket.
Apple phones are not in limited supply. Demand will not exceed supply, at least in the medium term. On the day, perhaps, but who cares about a day, or a week, or a month wait? I assume they have a working phone already, so it's not as if they are cut off from the world and society. It's just wanting to be one-up to queue on day 1. Wanting a new Apple gadget may be basically reasonable (or may not, we all have views on that) as is wanting to see Cliff Richard.
Queueing in the rain to spend sillty money just to show off is not a healthy thing. If they really like Apple just get a refurb 6+ for £250 and give the other grand to charity!
@Pen-y-gors
Wanting a new Apple gadget may be basically reasonable (or may not, we all have views on that) as is wanting to see Cliff Richard
Fanbios with wired headphones? Perish the thought.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V57eqtN2K7E&lc=Uggez6j_t6vYgngCoAEC
icon: Angus MacDougall's cousin Elizabeth
Does anyone else find the whole 'must get latest iPhone' rush more than a little bit disturbing?
These are the diehard fanbois you are talking about, so of course they must get the latest iPhone. I should think that many of them have been saving up their benefits and selling their food stamps for a whole year to get to this moment.
And the joy is that it all starts again once they have the latest glass phone in their hands.
I don't get why people are queuing up for iphones tomorrow. The whole thing about delivering to people waiting in the queue just normalises the materialistic madness of the whole thing. I for one won't be queuing up for hours just to get the new phone. I'll be paying someone to do it for me, while I drink avocado smoothies at an artisan coffee and avocado bar nearby.
Doodieroo...We come round, wipe your a** and change your diaper so you can stand in line all day long without having to worry about your fecal needs !
I'll overcut (note 1) your pricing, and offer a "total shit removal" guarantee, or money back. By using a couple of ex-night club bouncers equipped with a van-mounted pressure washer (with sandblast nozzle attachment) and a wire brush I'm not expecting to have many refunds.
Note 1: Normal practice it to undercut a competitor by offering a cheaper service. But this is Apple customers paying a grand and a half for a commodity product. The winning strategy is offering the same thing for a much higher price.
Apple customers will presumably be lining up to buy the latest iGadgets on Friday, though they will only be able to purchase the most expensive iPhones first - the XS and XS Max - with the other models due to hit the streets next month.
Good sales tactic. Sucker the early adopters into paying premium plus for a phone before releasing the "cheaper" version.
One way to make the balance sheet look good on release day.
I wonder if there is a gig economy company that delivers a bucket for them to crap in and takes it away afterwards.
Like those medieval street entrepreneurs who carried a bucket and had a big cape? The prospective shitter would pay the bloke for the use of the bucket, and the service provider would wrap the cloak around his paying guest, before going off slightly richer with a loaded bucket.
This being 2018, the same model works, except that it needs an app to take the order and payment, whilst down-on-their-luck peasants provide the service. I'd try and tie up with Deliveroo and have the same people carrying hot food, along with the slop bucket and cape, so I could pay them less, and they'd be grateful for the extra income. I can't see any downside to me. Obviously I'd have a demand-dependent pricing, and a loading for the customer's desperation.
I reserve the rights to the names ShitZ and Shittr
...and a bearded man-child millennial took off his North Face backpack, sat next to me and of course immediately started caressing his iPhone. He had apps to service all areas of his life: facebook, twitter, netflix, instagram, laundrapp (yes it does exist), just eat, amazon. He got stuck into instagram too quickly to see if he had an app for wiping his spotty arse, or for attempting to get laid, but I expect he did.
Deliveroo is just one more small piece of modern idiocy. I just keep thinking of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Machine_Stops
Except for your stereotypical association of this madness with millenials, I totally agree.
But think of it. Does he do it b/c all his friends are? What are the reasons these people get stuck in their iThingies?
And regarding Deliveroo, no, it isn't idiocy. It is a business exploiting the mentioned-above. Ethical? Hardly. Successful? Seems to be.
The Carphone Warehouse round the corner from your local Apple Store charges the same price as Apple, and doesn't have any queues. You can still take it to the Apple Store later if you need support on it.
Also, Apple Stores outside of Rent-A-Crowd locations such as Regent Street don't have queues. If you are in Regent Street, go to the bus stop outside the Apple Shop and take the No 94 to Shepherd's Bush, where you will find an Apple Shop that is free of queues, as well as a Carphone Warehouse, a Currys PC World and a John Lewis, all of which sell iDevices.
It seems absolutely insane to me, that you can buy a powerful gaming PC and smartphone for the price of an iPhone...
However, if they don't need any other computing devices then it doesn't make much difference. What worries me is when they buy a Mac as well :-/
Not sure how much demand there is currently, but a few years back I've certainly been in a "release day" queue. Because while there are plenty of the latest iShiny in US/EU (usually) there are more than a few people in the rest of the world who will pay 120-200% of the retail price in order to have the latest iShiny in their social group.
So own a $1000+ phone? Bah, a 200 Wileyfox or Honor does all I need. But buy an expensive phone and sell it within an hour for a 50% markup after costs? Hell yeah.
I am really bemused at this sudden Instagram adulation of the avocado on toast thingy.
Might I however suggest (it tastes waaaay better than it sounds):
- crushed ice
- shot of espresso-strength coffee
- generous dollop of sweet condensed milk
- avocado. make sure it isn't overripe.
- for extra credits add a shot or two of bourbon or dark rum.
Blender all. This is a play on Vietnamese coffee.
Or even better: Kopi Luwak coffee, hand-picked from elephant shit.
Back when the queues were a real thing. With the online preordering working nearly flawlessly ever year, those lines are much smaller than they used to be. Why stand around for ages when you just need a few clicks at 12:01 PDT on the appropriate night and Fedex will deliver your phone to your door the following Friday? That's a better deal than Deliveroo is offering!
Not sure why the article is sneering at Deliveroo. It's just pulling a perfectly reasonable stunt. Can't imagine they'll really get business out of it, but it's amusing enough.
We might validly criticise or condemn Deliveroo's (non-)employment practices: I don't know enough about the reality of it to comment. But sneering at a harmless tongue-in-cheek stunt?
Well I suppose it earns them some publicity (I'd never heard of them before) but iPhone queues are a fraction of their former size now that almost everyone orders online instead of waiting in line. The sneering is more at them being years late with an idea that could have been really big if it was done in 2012.
Not the most charming of subjects while eating my lunch, but....
What about the inevitable waste products produced from eating the hipster sandwich and overpriced alpine spring water? How is one supposed to relieve oneself without losing the place in the queue?
Maybe I should create a disruptive startup called DeliverPoo, although that's a bit like a return to the night soilmen of old. But hey, if it's on a carbon-neutral bike and has an app associated with the service then it's new and disruptive right?