Oh Smeg! Hacked white goods maker resurfaces after system shutdown

The Brit limb of unfortunately named and reassuringly expensive domestic appliance maker Smeg is up on its feet again after being hacked. The firm said yesterday it was "back up and running" after an "unfortunate cyber attack" that hit Wednesday 12 September. Important notice for Smeg UK customers: pic.twitter.com/XbBfWuZGHz …

[Korev]

"They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave."

[Ochib]

What, Captain Hollister and what about Todhunter and Selby?

[Chronos]

Wait, are you trying to tell me that everyone's dead?

_{Should never have let him out in the first place.}

[davidp231]

"That, is catering officer Olaf Petersson."

"I've been eating half the crew!"

[Anonymous Coward]

You see, I try sir. I'm not an insubordinate man by nature. I try and respect Rimmer and everything but it's not easy because he's such a smeg head!

[MJI]

When I first saw a fridge freezer

I burst out laughing.

Why name a brand after a fictional swear word?

Then I wondered if it was a marketing gimmick.

Or did they pay GrantNaylor royalties.

[the spectacularly refined chap]

Re: When I first saw a fridge freezer

The company name has priority, dating from 1948.

[Natalie Gritpants Jr]

Re: When I first saw a fridge freezer

It's not a fictional swear word as this ditty shows:

There once was a lady from Neath

Did circumcisions with her teeth

It was not for the meat

She performed this feat

But for the smeg underneath.

[iron]

Smeeeee...

Smeeee...

Smeeeeeeeg Heeeeeeeeeed!

[Anonymous Coward]

No need to change the bulb.

[Chunky Munky]

Now I've got a yearning for a triple decker fried egg chilli chutney sandwich. I'm sure I've got one in my pocket---->

[Ochib]

the only trouble, is that you need to eat it before the bread dissolves

[Anonymous Coward]

"another great idea from the people who brought you beer milkshakes!"

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm waiting for Binging With Babish to do a episode on the TFECCS but maybe he'll merge it with other recipes to make a special Red Dwarf super-episode.

[Manolo]

Re: triple decker

I actually make them occasionally. Surprisingly good.

<fire ball icon because of the liberal amounts of hot sauce applied >

[Paul Herber]

Do Smeg make toasters? Something you could *really* swear at!

[Wellyboot]

Yes they do!

In many colours

but as yet I don't believe you need a lumphammer

[Paul Herber]

Re: Yes they do!

Have you seen the prices? Sme...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re : Do Smeg make toasters?

Ah... So you're a waffle man !

[Anonymous Coward]

Howdy doodly do!

How's it going? I'm Talkie, Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?

[0laf]

I thought it was short for smegma or knob cheese for the more uncouth.

But is it just cynical me that see's "targeted cyber attack" and thinks, Someone clicked on a phish for free [insert celebrity] nudy videos?

[Teiwaz]

Smeg???

smegma

ˈsmɛɡmə/

noun

noun: smegma

a sebaceous secretion in the folds of the skin, especially under a man's foreskin.

(also known as gentlemans cheese)

I've not bothered to look up sebaceous, but doubt it has anything to do with the race of humans from Farscape

It's always been my understanding smeg was short for it, but nicely disassociated to almost family friendly levels.

[MrRimmerSIR!]

Smoke me a Kipper

Does SMEG do chicken soup vending machines?

[Teiwaz]

Re: Smoke me a Kipper

Does SMEG do chicken soup vending machines?

God I hope not, think of the crud your 14b* would need to be able to dislodge from the nozzle.

* or is a 14a.***

*** Yeah, I was a really sad uberfan in the 80's, exposed at a young and influential age.

[toxicdragon]

Re: Smoke me a Kipper

Sorry but its a 14b and a 14f.

[Teiwaz]

Re: Smoke me a Kipper

Sorry but its a 14b and a 14f.

I was warned it rots the brain, and there's the proof.

Excuse me, I've got something that needs inserted in a recharge socket.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Smoke me a Kipper

Does SMEG do chicken soup vending machines?

No, that's Klix. But to judge by the taste, Klix "chicken soup" appears to be a modestly diluted amalgam of reconstituted smegma and salt.

[Giovani Tapini]

We are down to cat milk

even ran out of dog milk...

[phuzz]

Re: We are down to cat milk

Nothing wrong with dog's milk. Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly. Lasts longer than any other milk, dog's milk.

[Chronos]

Re: We are down to cat milk

No bugger would drink it.

[The Oncoming Scorn]

Re: We are down to cat milk

I met Norman Lovett the other year & thanked him for his delivery of that line.

A thoroughly nice gent & his comment to me while were up the Seattle Space Needle of "It's not a day out without an ice cream is it", is something I'll not swiftly forget, computer senility permitting.

Icon - Lister: Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it?

[Chronos]

Re: We are down to cat milk

Yep, it was never the same without Norman. Even the 8th series with its nonsensical nanobots recreation was worth watching just for "Gawd, I hope we don't get spotted by the rozzers. They don't like it when you're rat-arsed."

[Anonymous Coward]

I was snootily informed when buying our hob that it's pronounced, "Schmeg". I bought elsewhere. Schmegheads.

[Chronos]

Indeed. I would have told them they can schtick their preschumtuous schite right up their schphincter.

[Alister]

Schurely Schome Mischtake?

[Rick594]

Smeg

Smeg is not a fictional swear word it's a contraction of Smegma (Google it).

[VikiAi]

Re: Smeg

It is also a fictional swearword. Grant Naylor claims he was unaware of any meaning when they coined it for Dwarf usage.

[Duffy Moon]

Re: Smeg

The gestalt entity Grant Naylor?

[VikiAi]

Re: Smeg

The two-and-same!

[Chronos]

It's a state of the art sarny.

Holly: "It's the state of the floor that worries me."

[Hazmoid]

Smeg

I think "Smeg" as a swear word has reached the penetration of "F*ck" but without the sexual connotations. I always assumed smeg was an alias for "Sh!t" as it seemed to have the same usage.

[Anonymous Coward]

Aaaaandroids

Everybody needs good Aaaaandroids....

Smeg!

[Michael H.F. Wilkinson]

At least they didn't name their brand

Quagaars!!

[An0n C0w4rd]

Will this go in the compilations of Smeg-Ups that accompanied the TV show?

[MJI]

I hope Holly is OK

As title