...a pile of lies so high he's getting liars' vertigo.
BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "You see!" the Boss says. "See what?" I ask. "THERE!" "Where? What are you pointing at?" "My contacts," he says, jabbing at his phone with a chubby finger. "What... about your contacts?" "Look!" he says, moving the stubby digit from his phone screen to an area of his Outlook …
It's always fun goading someone into a lie, and then running with it.
Ideally you should end up at the point where they have to admit to the lie in front of their boss. Oh, and keeping them guessing as to is your really know they're lying helps keep them on edge.
Salespeople are my usual marks.
Oddly I didn't actually name the bats (There is a male bat called George).
My Rubber Mallet is lost somewhere under the false floor (Where once the rubber degrades the bastards who stole my server room have a collapsed floor for a meeting room), I would replace it, but I don't think they would kill SSD's very well.
That's what happens when you fix "I must be right" as the primary axiom of immutable truth (a thing most people seem to be doing, even if unconsciously) and derive any and all aspects of reality suitably bent pretzel-like, as needed, to fit that. Pushed far enough, people are willing to deny the very existence of the Sun in the sky even as they are sweating its heat, if it would mean having to admit being wrong. That would be a reduction to an absurdity, implying that the assumption that the Sun exists _must_ be the false one, full stop.
The key realization here is that arguing with these folks is utterly pointless, because the point you are trying to dislodge is the fulcrum itself - anything is allowed to move except that very point, regardless of how long your intellectual lever is. You're trying to prove false something they _know_ with absolute certainty to be true; not gonna happen, and the more eloquent argument you manage to construct driving home the inescapable truth of your point the worse it ends up being for your blood pressure to see it nonetheless rejected without explanation.
Haven't you noticed there's a phantom individual who downvotes on every forum?
Some of the most innocuous replies in a thread get a single downvote and you think to yourself "Why? What on earth could anyone have found to object to about it?"
I don't think it's anything personal; it's a compulsion, I suspect - I'd be willing to bet good money that if you found out who it was and wrote a complimentary post about them they'd jerk their knee and downvote it themself.
I'm willing to bet this reply gets one from them but, knowing the commentards here, it's just as likely to get more downvotes than any single post in the entire history of El Reg as everyone downvotes it just for a laugh, so I'll never be absolutely sure - ho hum, such is the way and the lot of the commentard.
"it's just as likely to get more downvotes than any single post in the entire history of El Reg as everyone downvotes it just for a laugh"
I've upvoted you, but if I notice lots and lots and lots of downvotes, then I reserve the right to jump on that bandwagon and change mine to a downvote. Careful what you wish for.
Thanks and be assured I won't take it amiss if you do - if I could, I'd downvote it myself just for a laugh ;-D
It'd screw up my 'stats', such as they are, but if you take the votes on El Reg seriously, you've either not been reading it long enough or you shouldn't be here in the first place - it's not that people are nasty but, if you can't take a joke, you really shouldn't have joined here.
I haven't seen a badger icon - how do I get one of those!?
I'd love a silver (or even bronze) badger icon!
Don't know what kind of post it'd be useful for but I don't really care; I haven't seen anyone use one before, so they must be really rare, and I'd just use it every time: if you've got it, flaunt it - get a load of my badger!
[Fanboi icon cos, if you squint really hard, it could be a sort of a badger - one with a (probably unfortunate) deformity]
Oh ... badges ... not badgers : (
Well, I suppose the odd girl guide or two might be entertaining of an evening, if I've no-one better to do, but it's not the same at all really, is it?
I was really looking forward to a badger too *sigh*
Two mushroom badges, and some more badgers, and you get a snake badge
How many more though - one or sixteen?
And do I get to keep my badger badges or do I have to exchange them?
If I exchange them for.... ooooh ... a snake badge, can I earn more badger badges, or is that it and I'll see no more badgers from then on?
Oh great. Now I too want a badger icon.
That said, has anyone else noticed how, on imdb, even the greatest movies of all times manage to land a small number of voters (among imdb's top 1000 voters) giving out a score of one?
It makes me wonder if they *always* vote like that, or if there is something else sinister going on. No wonder there is war in the world.
It’s somewhat arrogant to think that everyone agrees with your point of view on any topic and not a single person would downvote it, especially on a comment that you might think is especially deserving of no downvotes. In fact with an attitude like that you should go into politics, you’d excel, or why not a CEO?
Your projection onto others of what I shall charitably term your 'thinking' on this matter rather gives the lie to the idea that you are, yourself, anything other than remarkably narrowminded and your need to lecture another about their thinking speaks volumes about your overweening self-regard.
It's supremely arrogant of you to suggest to someone that their being surprised at the difference of opinion about some ideas is evidence of their arrogantly assuming their own opinion on the matter to be the only valid one rather than of their simply being perplexed by others' opinions.
Not understanding another's point of view does not inexorably lead to the standpoint that others' points of view are invalid, merely to that of wondering what they might be and why.
You, however, appear unable to differentiate between incomprehension of another's point of view and self-infatuation, indicating that your are very young and/or developmentally arrested - perhaps you should offer your services to medical science; I'm sure the abnormalities in your brain structure would lead to some immensely valuable insights into neurological function.
"..arrogant to think that everyone agrees with your point of view on any topic.."
Ah, but that's where I unleash my secret weapon (no, I don't want to do an evil laugh now - why does everyone assume I want to do an evil laugh?). I simply ensure that I am always, and invariably, right about everything, thus making the downvoters expose their nature by attempting to contradict my awesome truthiness.
Muhahahahaha! (Ah, there you go)
> What was supposed to be an edit somehow turned into a second post
Really! That’s quite worrying; it could be a bug that’s affecting other users too. Did you post from your phone, or a computer? Whichever it,was I think you’d better hand it over so we can investigate properly.
I have something like 3 complete computers lying about my residence in bits and pieces. They have been delivered unto my care by an associate that (once) had some talent in the herding and management of bits and bytes. Now long disassociated, he picks up dirt cheap crap from 'recycling' and 'free' mailing lists, in an effort to find himself and others 'cheap' computers.
I no longer engage in his attempts to invoke warranty return policies......thus I have lots of electronics to recycle. (he's cooked up some doozies....) And he can't keep his stories straight with the vendors any more --- I rather suspect they've blacklisted him.
For the record, if someone is 'freecycling' or 'selling' an i7 "real cheap" "because they upgraded" I'm going to pretty much guarantee, they've cooked that sumbitch good.
Oh, hey, thats BOFH, that means its FRIDAY!!!! YAY!!!
Know the feeling. I am pretty sure I have 3 computers networked into my house somewhere that I am unable to physically locate. I can ping them, ssh into 2 of them and RDP into the third. I’m just buggered if I know where they actually are.
Must start pulling every cable out of the core router and see what happens.
> Lying to an IT person is never a good idea.
I was got a new boss. We were chatting soon after he arrived, and he blurted out "I've been warned never to lie to you!" I've often wondered where that came from ....* We did get on really well, though. **
(* - I didn't even have the fully-charged cattle prod on me at the time, promise.)
(** - a few years later things went pear-shaped. I was instructed by a C-suite to lie about the status of a project. I declined, kicked him out of my office & resigned a few weeks later.)
I have been dealing with a sync issue for most of the past two weeks. I kept trying to get the network folks to have a look and they kept telling me it wasn't their problem and closing the tickets, tracert and ping evidence to the contrary. Turned out it was the virtual network within the new AWS setup that was not configured right and no-one had bothered to pass the news on to the AWS people until I escalated the issue. I was very, very close to borrowing a page from the BOFH's book and helping some of the individuals involved become more in sync with their new underwater environment. I understand networking kit can make great ballast in a pinch.
I just avoid all kinds of syncing , its recipe for disater. How does it know which way to sync?
Same goes for shared spreadsheets - just take turns with it!
I've managed to stop the server/policy clowns buggering up my home drive by removing its path from AD and mapping it manually. Prior to that it was constantly getting fucked with / being "offline" half the folders unavailable . Something to do with "offline files" - i total fuckup of a solution which is the answer to a question no one ever asked.
In my experience syncing OneDrive works well. When the software is not sure it will flag the 2+ conflicted files.
Dropbox is a different story especially when the shared folder owner decides to get a new laptop or moves their local sync folder / drive, doesn’t understand how syncing works and ends up nuking everyone else’s copy in the process because THEY decided it wasn’t a good idea to tick the option (or didn’t see it) for everyone else to keep a local copy. Grrrrrrrr.
On that Union Carbide link, there's a picture of a young girl with hearing issues (#24 maybe?).
Never occurred to me that Indians could have blue eyes. That kid's eyes fecking bore into you. I feel personally responsible for the disaster despite being 8 at the time. And in the UK. And she's smiling. Christ know what would happen if she's angry. Some kind of X-men kind of thing, I assume.
You see an Agenda when you compare how little Bhopal is remembered - or was discussed at the time - with the comparatively tiny and harmless accident at Chernobyl around the same time.
In fact, two Agendas. Big up the nuclear, even though it's a drop in the ocean compared to the chemical. And big up the Evil Empire cockup, while turning a blind eye to the US corporation.
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Outlook + Phone + Synch.
Not really the Tech that is the problem.
It is the Fantasy's dreamed by those who use them. There will NEVER be a time when the technology will "Know What I Mean."
Some training is involved and your promotion will not you Mutant Powers over technology.
Have a pint bro!
I should add: darkened stairwells, raised-floor computer rooms, CRT monitors (especially 22" ones), tape safes, safes in general, router racks, bookshelves, multifunction printers, the basement, and most importantly, my desk in Beancounter Central.
My coat is the one with the bag with the medical textbooks!
"My advice is, avoid elevators and windows."
I try to avoid Windows, but sometimes people pay me to code / sysadmin the things. One of these days I'll go ahead with my threat of "Yeah I normally charge $X, but triple that for Windows". Though since I'm now moving into semi retirement, I might just get a "I don't do Windows." t-shirt made and wear it to job interviews.
He once asked me to troubleshoot why his desktop calendar wasn't in synch with his phone's. After trying to find the calendar on his computer desktop & coming up blank, I asked him where it was... He pointed to the physical calendar on his desk's top near his office phone.
I left in self defense before I did something rash...
the PFY took every single nut, bolt and screw out of everything.
I've *always* wanted to do that, with the addition of hanging every individual part from the ceiling on lines of black monofibre, so as to make a meatspace version of on e of those exploded views you used to see in kids encyclopedias, Ikea assumbly instructions and the like.
When I win the lottery and retire, maybe...
Extra points if you wave a desoldering iron holding it by the handle while it's plugged in & aiming for the other side of the motherboard as SMD devices usually use a rework station.
FTFY - See URL https://starecat.com/content/wp-content/uploads/how-not-to-hold-a-soldering-iron-woman-fail.jpg
Extra reading - https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/3/2018/06/04/who_me/
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