back to article AIOps they did it again, played with your heart, new acronym shame

“So, let me ask you,” he said, smoothing out his goatee with one hand. “Five planes have been circling for hours, delayed. You can land one.” A long pause. “How do you choose?” Us 20-something developers had been corralled into a windowless room to meet with this new “CTO”, but we were pretty sure they didn’t do much right …

  1. John 110
    Joke

    Maybe....

    ....I watched too much of "the Goodies" in the 70's, but my first response to AIOps was "ecky thump"

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    While it sounds cool, they collectively admit that the name over-promises.

    Don't diss them -- soon someone will think about a AIOps London Conference and try to sell tickets to the unaware. Just $600 for the early birds, don't miss it!

  3. AMBxx Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Which plane

    Classic Ops problem of not understanding the question. The correct response is 'Am I in one of them?'

    1. yoganmahew

      Re: Which plane

      And in usual machine learning fiascos, expediting the high value customers becomes always the answer, even when one of them has PAN'd for fuel shortage or has a sick child on board (a declared passenger emergency), a sick child that subsequently dies. How do you like them headlines?

    2. SVV

      Re: Which plane

      Well I would have chimed in after his horribly smug answer with "No, the correct answer is the one with the cheapest seats and the lowest average socio-economic class on board, as part of the technologcal contribution to the overthrow of the elite capitalist class in favour of the proletariat majority" just to watch the horrified look on his face and enjoy the reaction of the ret of the audience.

      “We’ve Seen Too Many False Prophets, But A Messiah Is Coming.”

      Listen mate, when you spout all this AI blather at people and they all go "Jesus!", that doesn't mean you can draw this conclusion from it.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Which plane

        Which plane? Reconsider the question ... “Five planes have been circling for hours, delayed. You can land one.” A long pause. “How do you choose?”

        In my world, they all were diverted to an alternate airport hours ago. Planes don't often carry enough fuel to arrive at their destination, and then "circle for hours". To do so is a waste of fuel. This kind of scenario only happens in the movies. Just like AI, when you think about it ...

  4. JacobZ

    Autonomic computing?

    So... autonomic computing all over again?

    Don't we go through this about once a decade?

  5. Shadow Systems

    I'm obviously a BOFH...

    I would have taken every buzzword bullshit spewing wanker, plenty of rolls of old, used carpet, an entire pallet load of Duct Tape, a small mountain of bags of quicklime, & headed for the nearest abandoned quarry...

  6. handleoclast

    Which plane to land?

    Any that don't have marketing twats or AIOps twats on them.

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