Giving a crap
Well that seems like a shitty thing to do...
Bowel down: Laxative brownies brought to colleague's leaving bash
Leaving parties can be an opportunity for more anally retentive colleagues to loosen up and go with the flow. But one woman took that to an extreme by bringing laxative brownies to a send-off bash. The 47-year-old from Michigan lost her job after police discovered she put purgatives in a departing co-worker's going-away …
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 17:48 GMT BillG
Revenge is a dish best served wet
Few years back a coworker was complaining someone was stealing his lunch out of the company fridge. So one day he puts a powerful laxative in his sandwich. Sure enough, come lunch time, his lunch sack was gone from the fridge.
Later we noticed the office quiet guy, the one always kissing up to the boss, making multiple runs to the rest room! So technically, this was not illegal, was it?
Laxatives have their place.
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 20:37 GMT Keven E
Re: Revenge is a dish best served wet
"So technically, this was not illegal, was it?"
I dunno... I hear it's illegal (US) to have an electric shocker hooked up to your car alarm... so that when someone sets it off... "bzzzzzzzT" they get a good shock if they are still touching metal. "Crims rights" or some shite...
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 23:45 GMT The Oncoming Scorn
Re: Revenge is a dish best served wet
Ex-boss did that hooked up his Porsche & in the dark corner of his parking space to a electric fence unit, especially for when the university students rolled out of The Black Horse In Exeter.
Thinking back, that might have been a precursor for another event.
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Thursday 17th May 2018 01:55 GMT Black Betty
It's called "Setting a mantrap."
It's got nothing to do with crim's rights, and everything to do with ordinary people not falling foul to random booby traps.
Thus ended letterboxes with "teeth" and garden walls with embedded glass shards. It's why you and I can't erect electric fences with razor wire.
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 17:52 GMT Voland's right hand
Re: A tip-off...
There is a well known joke (I have heard it about several countries):
Q:What is one person from country X?
A: A revolutionary
Q:What are two persons from country X?
A: An organized revolutionary movement.
Q:What are three persons from country X?
A: An organized revolutionary movement with a traitor mole.
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Thursday 17th May 2018 11:19 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: A tip-off...
@handleocast
> The German who told me that became slightly upset when I added "When four Germans get together they invade Poland."
That's so Twentieth Century.
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2018/05/germanys-typhoon-problem-only-four-fighters-can-be-made-combat-ready/
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 17:06 GMT My other car WAS an IAV Stryker
A similar tale that's full of --it
A man won the lottery to the tune of $125 MEEEEELL-LION. Like most, he quit his job forthwith. He then proceeded to contract a certain company to dump $200,000+ worth of manure on his former boss' lawn while he watched from across the street, laughing to beat the band.
Of course, the dump trucks woke up the ex-boss, who naturally called the police. By the time the cops got there, half the trucks (I can't remember how many) had spread their load. The "winner" readily admitted to the dirty deed -- payback for taking this guy's $h!t for so many years -- paid his bail, and confessed he had many more similar stunts in store for others.
We'll see if his lottery gains can cover not just the pranks but also the subsequent bail bonds and civil lawsuits... or if all this revenge leaves him up S--- Creek.
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Thursday 17th May 2018 22:04 GMT JimboSmith
Re: A similar tale that's full of --it
An ex colleague now no longer with us was sent a load of manure by his ex wife after their divorce. When the truck turned up the driver was unaware that this was supposed to be revenge. So he knocked on the door and asked where to put the bags. The roses in the back garden never looked better as a result.
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 19:47 GMT Daedalus
But seriously folks....
I'm always amazed at how people drift into the kitchen or snack area, spot something potentially yummy on the table, and chow down without a second thought. Admittedly in companies where you can get to the snackeria easily there's not much incentive to cause trouble unless there's a personal vendetta, whereas companies that might deserve a "run" for their money are pretty good at restricting outsiders, sometimes to the point of offending potential clients (like a certain formerly large USA photographic corporation).
On another note a quick glance at the Glassdoor entry for the company in question indicates a certain amount of internal dysfunction. Perhaps the incident was the canary in the coalmine.
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 20:02 GMT ma1010
BOFH Trainee?
Well, the BOFH has used such weapons on occasion, so I wonder if this woman was a BOFH in the making. She got caught, though, so she clearly needs more practice in proper BOFH techniques.
And I'd add that if a despised co-irker leaves your place of employment, instead of sabotaging their "good bye" party, a better solution is you and your mates have a "good riddance" party later on down the pub without them around.
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Thursday 17th May 2018 10:27 GMT cray74
Re: BOFH Trainee?
No need to sabotage, just make them 'sugar free with Maltitol' since this is a laxative....
I did get some of those infamous sugar-free gummy bears for Christmas, which helped me avoid significant caloric gains from giant holiday meals. As I hadn't dented the inventory of the 5-pound bag and considered my curiosity satisfied (teh interweb rumors were true!), I was happy to turn the remainder over to my brother.
He's a fire fighter and the popular prank at the station was to put million-Scoville hot sauce on the rims of coffee mugs or toothbrushes. They weren't ready for a bowl of innocuous, tasty gummy bears.
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 21:18 GMT martinusher
Say nothing and you'll always be safe
It appears this person made two mistakes. One was telling someone that she was going to do this. The other was using an identifiable laxative when there are so many natural substances -- things you could innocently put in cakes and brownies -- that would do the same job.
Rule #1 when dealing with cops -- and the HR department -- is never admit to anything. Or even half admit something. Or even hint that what they're suggesting is true. They are not your friends; they might appear to be friendly because its a way of getting people to talk but they are never going to be on your side. The other suggested, obvious, rules are #2, don't put things in cakes you're making for others to eat and #3 if you do don't go blabbing on about it.
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Wednesday 16th May 2018 22:31 GMT sanmigueelbeer
Dumb move
Dumb move, lady. You baked a cake and spiked it with laxative. Dumb move.
If that was me, I'd go with the old-fashion way: Haribo's Sugar-Free Gummy Bears. I hear they're quite a hit!
https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gold-Bears-Original-5-Pound-Packaging/dp/B000EVOSE4/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1526509782&sr=8-1&keywords=Haribo%2Bsugar%2Bfree%2Bgummy%2Bbears&th=1
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Thursday 17th May 2018 08:04 GMT Rhuadh
Re: Dumb move
Having accidentally been caught out by the little jelly bears of satan, all I can add is that they should be banned under the Geneva Convention. After eating a handful, your stomach will start rumbling about an hour later - you will only have a few seconds before the explosion. Hopefully, you will be sitting down, unencumbered around your nether regions of any clothing, on the toilet, in the bushes, behind trees, very hopefully, in privacy, hanging on to something heavy enough to prevent going into orbit - otherwise, things get very messy........On the other hand, probably the most effective laxative known to man!
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Thursday 17th May 2018 11:29 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Dumb move
@anothercynic
> Why anyone want to eat sugarfree Haribo is beyond me (other than being diabetic)!
They are terrible for diabetics.
They're only "better" for diabetics in the sense that being stabbed in the kidneys is a bit better than being stabbed in the heart.
"sugar free" is dishonest of Haribo: maltitol is a disaccharide of fructose and glucose, i.e. a sugar, just as much as sucrose -"table sugar"- is. (Sucrose is also a disaccharide of fructose and glucose).
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Thursday 17th May 2018 22:25 GMT JimboSmith
Re: Dumb move
Having accidentally been caught out by the little jelly bears of satan, all I can add is that they should be banned under the Geneva Convention. After eating a handful, your stomach will start rumbling about an hour later - you will only have a few seconds before the explosion. Hopefully, you will be sitting down, unencumbered around your nether regions of any clothing, on the toilet, in the bushes, behind trees, very hopefully, in privacy, hanging on to something heavy enough to prevent going into orbit - otherwise, things get very messy........On the other hand, probably the most effective laxative known to man!
Visiting one client office a few years ago I was told a story about one of the staff I'd seen leaving the office as I arrived. She was suffering from a cold and had been chewing Airwaves gum to unblock her nose. When the boss found out she had made it through an entire pack since arriving she was sent home. They were worried about her being unable to make it to the ladies before she exploded. She had no idea that it had laxative properties.
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Thursday 17th May 2018 00:01 GMT The Oncoming Scorn
Do Not Pass Go - Do Not Collect 200 Pounds.
Or in this case a large part of a pharmaceutical company I worked at were being made redundant.....
The day came & apart from a few arriving in some form of fancy dress (A man in kilt flashing his comedy plastic gentitals\sporran was one) & high spirits, however at least two others were determined to be nasty.
Excrement (dog) was smeared on on door handles & alcohol poured into the water containers, someone was caught on reviewing security footage for one of the acts & instead of walking out with a 40K severance cheque at 12pm, was handed a P45 at 11.40 & escorted from the premises with only his normal wages.
I wouldn't have fancied explaining that one on arriving home.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
