Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face) Unable to convince Oracle to allow the use of its trademarked term "Java" to refer to the open source version of Java Enterprise Edition (Java EE), the Eclipse Foundation is asking those who care about such things to vote on proposed names for the software project. Last summer, Oracle said it had begun working with the Eclipse …
'"Robusta" could have been nice: it is a variety of the coffee plant, and also associates with robustness, something one wants in an enterprise platform.'
I was under the impression that what people wanted in an enterprise platform was expensive bloat and job preserving complexity.
"I was under the impression that what people wanted in an enterprise platform was expensive bloat and job preserving complexity"
That's why Spring and Hibernate were invented. To teach those who though a select query couldn't be a time consuming processor hammering nightmare a lesson. The software equivalent of chopsticks - in my case at least :-)
'"Robusta" could have been nice: it is a variety of the coffee plant, and also associates with robustness, something one wants in an enterprise platform.
Except Robusta are the cheaper, bitter coffee beans used for instant coffee that have a higher caffeine content and kick your arse.
"I would have chose a coffee theme like cappuccino."
Tbh thats a fairly obvious choice and unsurprisingly someone already thought of it:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cappuccino_(application_development_framework)
I doubt there are many coffee themed names that haven't been used. You'd probably have to settle for something like skinnyflatwhitesoyatasteslikefloorsweepingsinpus
It was foisted on the US public during WW-II so the GIs could get the "real" stuff (not sure they did.)
In the 70's (when I sorta grew up) it was touted as healthier - just like carob was better than chocolate. Hah!
It is also highly touted in NOLA but usually backed by real java.
Chicory has a very new-age ring to it, don't you think. And the releases could start at Chic-1.0.0.0.
It was foisted on the US public
One of the many things where USA and Russia are much more alike than people would like to admit. Literally same story up to the 70-es. As a result anyone who wanted real coffee had to get green Cuban beans by various semi-illicit channels, roast them and grind them by themselves. The smell of freshly roasted coffee beans early in the morning... It smells like...
You can still have it hoisted on you today by the way. If you are unfortunate to go to the more obscure corners of Greece you need to carry a Bialetti and at least 1kg of ground to sustain yourself. The coffee in the cafanas as well as the stuff in nearly all small hotels is all spiked with shit and practically undrinkable.
So if you want to draw a connotation that it is something vile and vomit inducing chicory would be a good choice.
"Literally same story up to the 70-es"
Whereas 80-s brought along some improvements. 1) After years of experiments, our glorious research institutes had developed a range of coffee substitutes (rye and other grains + chicory) that were quite, but not entirely unlike coffee. With copious amounts of Armenian brandy to go with it they were almost drinkable.
(side note: while trying to hunt down images of these chicory products I discovered that chicory is now being touted as a health product. Fuckity fuck.)
2) And now the real bombshell. In 80's, in Soviet Russia, in actual stores that were accessible for ordinary people, there were real Arabica coffee beans for sale!!!
Granted, they were sold for a princely sum of 20 roubles per kilogram, while ordinary engineer could earn about 120-130 roubles in a month. But still, anyone could have some if they so desired. Eat your hearts out, capitalist running dogs!
Heh... yea, that stuff was sold as "coffee" after (likely also during) the war in Germany as well. The 80s saw strong marketing of rye-based alternatives as the healthy option. #'em, I need the caffeine!
Remark: the salad stuff is (closely) related to it but not the same plant. TBH after they crossbred out the bitterness I like it much less... The old stuff wrapped in ham and cooked in a white sauce (gratinated with cheese!) was just great!
The coffee in the cafanas as well as the stuff in nearly all small hotels is all spiked with shit and practically undrinkable.
That must because it all comes out of a huge tin with a 'Nescafe' label on it.
The same goes for large parts of S. America and Africa. Even in places where they grow Coffee, you seem to get served luke warm dishwater instead of the real thing.
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Name it Jawa. Then the whole language becomes JawaEEz. And thus the community is revealed as "small hooded creatures with glowing eyes".
Some of the brightest people are scarfed up into those lumbering crawlers and then are never seen again, at least, not in unbroken form.
"C-- is already taken, it's what I call Microsoft's C#"
I've always called it "C-pound". It's what I want Micro-shaft to do with it. Like sand.
Java, on the other hand, has some uses (and no ".Not"). But it _still_ suffers from that bass-ackwards way of thinking that's "all too common" in the world of alleged "object-oriented" lingos...
Oracle's desire to stranglehold Java was actually _CAUSED_ by Micro-shaft's attempt to embrace/extend/extinguish it, which THEN gave [illegitimate] birth to C-pound and then J-pound... (does anyone even USE J-pound? The Wikipedia article says it's no longer supported)
one online page suggests that C-pound was originally C++++ but was hard to type in, and so the 4 '+' became the '#' because it kinda looks like 4 plus signs...
I'm voting for calling it "Pension"
Java is going to be around for a long time yet. Heck there are systems written in Cobol that are still being used. What with the lottery that pensions have now become, I will probably have to keep hacking Java well past my nominal retirement age.
I really wish Java had become the language if business.
Its on of the few areas where it really could have dominated.
Use all that hype to get companies to move legacy away from old the wild and wooly, onto one software based platform.
No more porting - just shift the VM to whaever.
Except Sun chased shiny shiny and bandwagons - mobiles whatever.
How many guis does java sdk ship with 3-4. A v very simple form based gui is all business needs. Sun should have ditched the lot and just included an interface to QT.
And my biggest java bugbear. Totall lack of thought on interfacing integrating other java code. No, you just have one applivcation. Or you shove it behind a huge fucking frame work that makes corbra look good.
Me. Id have stripped java se to the vm a text console and socket. Concentrate of having a light wieght asy way of bolting large subsystems on. And invest heavily on means of testing - java dteave? - and automating. Not the badly thought out junk that java has.
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.... why is El Reg using a pink coffee mug pic from Shutterstock with the face of Nancy Pelosi forming in the broth?
Also "Should Have Used Go".
Well no. Though a nice language, go is not a step up and it's not about the language anyway as "EE" refers to "Enterprisy" libraries, add-ons, principles, application servers and large books "fleshing out" the Java Standard Edition. I'm partial to Spring Framework myself btw.
Does such a thing even exist in Go?
They should call it Orange.
Orange and T-Mobile merged their operations to form the fuckwittedly-named "Everything Everywhere" then hastily shortened that to EE. So Java EE can become Orange.
Alternatively, they can call it Kopi Luwak. The most expensive coffee in the world. Made by letting luwaks (palm civets) eat kopi (coffee) cherries then extracting the beans from their droppings. Which sums up Java: overhyped with more than a hint of shit about it.
"Alternatively, they can call it Kopi Luwak. The most expensive coffee in the world. Made by letting luwaks (palm civets) eat kopi (coffee) cherries then extracting the beans from their droppings."
Somebody gave me 100g of it once. I have to say it is excellent coffee. But nobody could call J2EE type applications rare or, usually, of superlative quality.
Whatever you think of Java, the language, this is not it. This is a whole other level of Enterprise-ness and a total "usine a gaz"*.
This is the project to which Spring is perceived to be an improvement.
These are the people that brought you EE Beans - bloated ORM objects that get to decide to remote themselves wherever they want, unless you somehow bind them cleverly to the same nodes by ensuring locale-ness. Shoving configs into XML so that you can have more dynamic declarations, thus bypassing the compiler entirely and making source harder to grok. This is abstraction for the sake of it, without underlying reasons.
Besides enema:
- Bloatus?
- Compendium of Design Patterns?
- Overdesignus?
- Consultantware?
* Usine a gaz
A very nice French expression tailor-made for this type of IT which basically means a machine to make hot air - useless complexity to achieve nothing much. c.f. a Rube Goldberg contraption.
There is only one possibility: Kopi luwak
Most Expensive Coffee in the World
It has been produced from the coffee beans which have been digested by a certain Indonesian cat-like animal called then palm civet or also civet cat. This is the reason kopi luwak is also called cat poop coffee or civet cat coffee. The feces of this cat will be collected, finished and sold as kopi luwak.
Bloody civets, pooping all over the place. Get off my lawn!
I'll just get a stick and flick the poop over the hedge into the neighbour's garden. It was probably one of his civets. And even if it wasn't, he never returned my lawnmower after he borrowed it, so he can trigger a few poopmines when he mows his lawn.
Damn, I messed that up. The poop broke open.
Oh, what's that. *prod* *prod* *poke* It looks like a coffee bean, It is a coffee bean.
Hmmmmmm.
Might as well try making coffee from it. It's not like I can normally afford to drink coffee on the meagre amount of money I get paid to pick coffee beans.
Ugh! Tastes like shit! Pretty much what I expected.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Suppose I tell everyone it tastes wonderful. Those rich bastards will queue up to drink the stuff and pretend it tastes wonderful.
That would be very, very funny.
Now if only I could invent a crap programming language and convince everyone to use it. That would be even funnier.
Mine's the one with the civet poop in the pocket. Bloody neighbour got his own back for me flicking the stuff into his garden.
I do wonder what coffee addict was desperate enough to be the first one to try making and drinking coffee out of beans that had passed through a cat.
I'm convinced it was a dare.
Completely off topic, Legendee Gold allegedly duplicates the taste of Kopi Luwak without involving the civets by treating the beans with enzymes and then roasting them. Good way to try it for anyone who's hesitant to drink literal crap coffee or pay $100 a pound. It's still pretty pricey (around the same price to make at home as what you'd pay for normal coffee at Starbucks), but nowhere near as bad.
> What about J?
No - J is a long-established language already.
Java displaced one letter is Kbwb, basically pronounced Kebab.
This has the added bonus of being tasty, and also to give room for related projects... Sish-kebab, Kebab Pita, Kebab Hot Stuff, Kebab Sauce, Kebab AOMS (all-over-my-suit, as in walking home from the night club and chugging a kebab on the way)
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