back to article Sad-sack Anon calling himself 'Mr Cunnilingus' online is busted for DDoSing ex-bosses

An electronics technician pleaded guilty on Wednesday to orchestrating distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks on a former employer and other organizations – and to unlawfully possessing a firearm as a former felon. From July 2015 through around March 2017, according to a plea agreement, John Kelsey Gammell, of New Mexico …

  1. Notas Badoff

    "Mr. Cunnilingus, in the network, with a soldering iron" is not your common-place solution in Clue. Please, let the BOFH not take notice.

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      Maybe it was one of the several in-theater endings of Clue, but got cut from the DVD release?

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      Not enough upvotes!

    3. TheVogon

      Well they do say you are what you eat....

  2. Robert Moore

    Long time

    15 years with no practice, He will have to give up his title of Mr. Cunnilingus.

    I expect he will learn some new oral skills in prison for that long.

    Always look for the silver lining.

    1. Youngone Silver badge

      Re: Long time

      Whenever I see a sex-based handle online I automatically assume the owner is some lonely bastard.

    2. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

      Re: Long time

      Mr. Salad-Tosser?

      Or in a somewhat obligatory Red Dwarf reference, Mr. Rimmer?

    3. Jedit Silver badge

      "15 years with no practice"

      He's an anonymous DDOSer. When the system beat him, it was the first time in his life that a pussy got licked.

  3. Jonathan Schwatrz

    A sad sack indeed.

    Anonymous? Not as much as he thought he was.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    > His plea agreement indicates that if he is determined to be an armed career-criminal, he faces a minimum sentence of 180 months

    And what would the sentence be if he reconsiders and decides to be, for instance, a part-time hobbyist criminal? Or an unarmed one?

    I do admire his determination, but 15 years is a bit much.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    15 years! That's a bit hard to swallow

    But practice makes perfect!

  6. Qwertius

    Gone are the days - when you'd just leave a dog turd in your boss's letter box & be done with it.

    1. hplasm

      " turd in your boss's letter box "

      Things have moved on - this is now DSaaS...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      From the "I know a guy department"...

      He left one of his own bum-nuts in the bosses waste paper bin over a weekend.

      Pre DNA testing days were carefree.

    3. sad_loser

      Door handles

      Car door handles make good repositories for canine faeces.

      Was better in the 80s when they were all ‘lift the flap’ design.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bloody moron.

    Not Your Private Army, mate.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      oh , are one of them?

      Shouldnt you be typing in all caps?

  8. David Roberts

    One long list of victims

    Are they clearing all their backlog of cases?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No log US VPN?

    "Behm said the source of the attacks could not be determined because the traffic was routed through a US-based VPN that didn't retain logs."

    A VPN that doesn't keep logs...and US based?

    Inquiring minds want to know what VPN service this is!

  10. NonSSL-Login

    Logs from security guy....

    Around the time this was happening, a flaw in the template used by many of the DDoS sites and re-sellers of VDoS was found. Through this the logs could be snarfed among other things.

    So it appears the FBI used data hacked from the systems of the stress testing site to get the info needed to get this guy. Saying it was provided by someone else gives them the ability to do this without questions asked on any cases they want?

    The guy is obviously stupid enough to get caught anyway but the method is questionable imo.

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