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Infamous Silicon Valley 'sex party' exactly as exciting as it sounds
This week, the tech world has been consumed with intrigue over the details of alleged "sex parties" hosted by Silicon Valley's power brokers. But as more details have emerged, what we all knew to be true has been slowly reasserting itself: nerds don't do sex nor drugs nor rock and/or roll. The salacious claims have been the …
COMMENTS
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Saturday 13th January 2018 08:37 GMT jake
Definitely bullshit.
I've been part of the tech world in Silly Con Valley since before it was called Silicon Valley. If you want Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll[0], everybody around here knows you have to head for Los Vegas[1]. Why do you think CES is held there?
[0] Note that the phrase itself was invented in Croyden, UK, or thereabouts.
[1] And that's not even in California, it's in Nevada.
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Monday 15th January 2018 23:49 GMT PhilipN
Re: Definitely bullshit.
He gigged there but his remark was more likely satirical, based on Croydon - saff of Landon - being the most boring place on the planet.
As any fule no ID was Essex which - how to explain to a non-Brit --- put it this way : If Essex wanted to secede from the UK the rest of the country would vote pro- Essexit with much greater alacrity than they did the other **exit. And the borders would be strengthened immediately to keep them there.
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Saturday 13th January 2018 11:37 GMT Anonymous Coward
My own experience of silicon valley types suggests they don't do social stuff well. And there's reason to have similar doubts about the big money types, so a party involving nerdy venture capitalists it likely to be unexciting. It's networking rather than notworking.
In a different situation, they might be pleasant enough to have around. For one thing, it sounds to be too big a crowd for anything to happen. How can you trust that many people not to talk about the drugs? It's the sort of thing related to Dunbar's Number and other similar measures, and I have a feeling that a sex-and-drugs party would have to be much smaller.
It's the sort of number I experienced at school end-of-year discos (and that label dates me) which I found a bit intimidating. Drop down to the next level, around 20-30 people, and things could happen. (There seem to be three size-steps, Dunbar's Number fits with the middle one. and it's one of several explanations.)
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Monday 15th January 2018 11:39 GMT Anonymous Coward
To be honest, the whole thing sounds rather like the sort of Christmas parties we have here (IT department of a large university). What you have is a fair age spread and the key thing is that past their thirties, most people have rather grown out of the idea of wild public sex, not least because whilst the spirit may be willing, the flesh takes somewhat longer. About the most you get is someone who is a bit loud because they may have had one or two beers too many, and that's about it.
A similar thing likely extends to nerd society. Most of us are working with computers because we prefer working with these to working with people. Public sex and drugs is as much about discarding inhibitions and showing off as it is about the actual act or chemical, and nerds don't really do showing off very well, or not like that.
So, the party will have been mostly about showing off tech, and talking to people. A fairly vast amount of fruit juice will have been consumed, quite a bit of caffeine and some alcohol but that'd be about it. There is also the possibility of quite a bit of sex occurring, but only behind closed and locked hotel room doors because nerds simply don't get this public thrill thing.
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Saturday 13th January 2018 12:11 GMT Anonymous Coward
Tesla is a thing, but no what they say
What's funny is "teslas" are a real pill which contains a high dose of MDMA. But there is nothing enhanced about it, it's just a standard ecstasy pill containing a high quantity than normal. Trust these nutjobs to come out with it's some enhanced version only rich Californians get. Which is amusing, considering what I have heard of the drug and rave scene in Cali, it's pretty fucking dier in comparison to...ooo I don't know, anywhere else.
https://pillreports.net/index.php?page=display_pill&id=34540
Actually, the hammer home the point, Teslas have warnings out on them because the dosage is so high. A number of kids died in 2017 from "super strong pills" and, I don't know, but I would have a bet that Tesla's might have been involved.
Still, these parties sound absolutely fucking wank. I don't know what it is about Americans, but they just seem to take the old practice of taking drugs and listening to repetitive music and turn it into some weird club you need to be a part of. You just don't hear of this shit in the UK (for example, Germany, France...countless other examples) where it's been blown up to some huge thing in this day and age. No, people go to a club, take some pill they bought off some geezer, talk cod shit for 6 hours dancing to music then go home. Yet here we are, talking about people taking made up drugs which are real drugs, but nooo they can't be just normal drugs because it's California. Fuck living there
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Saturday 13th January 2018 14:42 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Tesla is a thing, but no what they say
E causes many to have more of a sensual, rather than sexual, interest in the people around them anyway. It can result in solid wood for hours (and no feeling of urgency to do anything with it) or conversely it can render the member irrelevant - either is good.
I'm not an expert on pharma-sex myself, but I believe my Grindr-using friends have a fair working knowledge.
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Saturday 13th January 2018 14:48 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Tesla is a thing, but no what they say
You're mostly correct. Most people say they don't get the horn when high on E, I can do but that's not normal and really only if I was at home. When you're around people, like in a club or at a house party, pretty must the last thing on your mind is sex.
I can't imagine an orgy or sex party with E. It would be really weird. I'd just be trying to find the speakers to put on some Techno. And funny, I hadn't even thought of that when writing. But you're right, who the fuck takes E in an orgy? For fuck sake they can't even get the drugs right with these bullshit lies
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Saturday 13th January 2018 13:02 GMT Teiwaz
All night 'slapping' sessions
What are you doing? Playing video games?
One of the best parties I ever been to everyone was sitting around playing Goldeneye for almost 14 hours straight.
Sex parties I've been to one or two too. It was all over within 10 to fifteen minutes.
Pure value for money timewise - the Goldeneye 'slappers only' session was more intense, everyone found that entertaining for a lot longer than the sexy parties stayed sexy before returning to the lesser sins of alcohol and spousal abuse.
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Saturday 13th January 2018 13:58 GMT Hans 1
At a party with so many, the drugs are usually taken up-stairs in a spare room, or round the back, out of view of the others ... you can see people going up and down stairs/to the back all evening/night. When it comes to sex, yes, it's official, girls into drugs, on average, have more sexual partners than girls that don't do drugs and also have sex more frequently, again, on average ....BTW, at parties with that many people, sex happens up stairs in another spare room ... you do not get to know this unless you pay attention and/or are into drugs also or a womanizer ... by the way, the nerdy gals that go to these parties are usually boring ... like, here we have a boring girl who wrote a book because somebody asked her for a kiss at a party ...
Anybody else remember the Microsoft party in the bay area where they were too cheap to hire hookers and thought they could get away with inviting some students ?
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Saturday 13th January 2018 15:38 GMT Anonymous Coward
MS Party
"Anybody else remember the Microsoft party in the bay area where they were too cheap to hire hookers and thought they could get away with inviting some students ?"
I missed that one. Does that mean I was too cool or too nerdy to be invited? I'm so confused!
(ETA: I just envisioned clippy showing up saying "it looks like you're trying to start an orgy... can I help?)
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Sunday 14th January 2018 09:15 GMT Fruit and Nutcase
Re: MS Party
@AC
The Dancing Girls at the MS Games Developers Conference...
https://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/03/18/microsoft_gdc_sexy_schoolgirl_dancers/
Paris - Did someone mention a "party"?
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Saturday 13th January 2018 17:17 GMT Paul Hovnanian
Bay Area Power Brokers
Richard Nixon blew the lid off the mystique of the rich an powerful some time ago.
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Saturday 13th January 2018 23:43 GMT StuntMisanthrope
Must Try Harder Again
Following on from the dressing up incident, I've decided that there's now nothing to aim for. If at the pinnacle, even the parties on hallowed turf are crap, then something must be going wrong. But then again if you believe any of that then, you haven't been invited. Its called Cake and yes, I've got an early start too.
#copytofileorsomething
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Sunday 14th January 2018 07:56 GMT ElReg!comments!Pierre
Quite clearly scandalous
I've come by some of them silicon valley people. They routinely take FRUIT (at work, even). A non-negligible proportion JOG to work, while their less depraved colleagues exhibit an unnatural propension to use non-motorized BIKES. The white powder mentionned in the story was probably gluten-free, organically-grown, perhaps even fair-trade certified. One can only hope it was not some kind of quinoa derivative. This deviant, unnatural lifestyle is an insult to civilization and should defo be banned. What are we, animals ? I mean, one of the attendees even dressed up as a rabbit, confession of guilt if there ever was.
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Sunday 14th January 2018 17:51 GMT Anonymous Coward
I smell bull****
"They allegedly took an "enhanced" version of ecstasy's main chemical component, MDMA, that was called – get this – Tesla"
No, Tesla are a popular mould for E pills, shape or stamps on pills mean nothing of the contents.
Also you can't get it up on md, you're most likely to just want to hug things anyway, which actually corroborates the story..
A friend told me all of this.
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Monday 15th January 2018 15:40 GMT Anonymous Coward
But wait!
But wait everyone! It doesn't matter what the facts are, or what really happened at the "party"! A woman was horribly abused and that means that all the women there were horribly abused and it was all rapey and bro and stuff and made a person writing an interpretation of someone's writing about a third-hand report of all the horrible abuse at the party, very, very uncomfortable and upset and offended and triggered and stuff! This is all very serious and all these horrible men must be sent to prison immediately because patriarchy! Boo!
(Oh, and the large sum of money to be made from bullshitting.)