Meet R2-DILDO: 'Star Wars' sex toys? This is where the fun begins Purveyor of, er, marital aids Geeky Sex Toys this month released a "Star Toys" range, a series of intimate tools for him and her brought lovingly to life in the shape of characters from the Star Wars franchise. The battery operated devices hit online shelves to coincide with the release of The Last Jedi, the latest instalment …
This post has been deleted by its author
This post has been deleted by its author
Calls in to question all sorts of quotes from the films, doesn't it?
"Get in there you big furry oaf. I don't care what you smell"
"You're got something jammed in here real good"
"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid"
"Control! Control! You must learn control!"
And obviously: "Look at the size of that thing!"
Plenty more to choose from:
"...don't get cocky!"
"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
"Aren't you a little short for a Storm Trooper?"
"Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
" I can see the tower, but I can't see the exhaust port"
"You're all clear, kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!"
"Possible he came in through the south entrance."
"Hurry up, golden-rod..."
"I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"
"I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
"Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
"Rise, my friend."
"Open the back door!"
"Hey, point that thing somewhere else!"
"I want you to take her. I mean it, take her!"
"Get clear Wedge, you can't do any more good back there!"
Don't forget "It's a small exhaust port, right below the main port" and (right after it) "The shaft leads directly to the reactor system."
And didn't Obi Wan tell Luke that he'd have to "learn to use the force if you want to come"?*
* There may have been a reference to Alderaan at the end of that sentence, which I'm ignoring.
Sad, to think the perfect character has been left out. Given the ears he's basically perfect as a stand-in for a jack rabbit vibe.
"Mesa called Jar Jar Binks, mesa your humble servant!"
"Oh, maxi big da Force"
"Dissen gonna be bery messy!"
"Icky, icky goo!"
"Sad, to think the perfect character has been left out. Given the ears he's basically perfect as a stand-in for a jack rabbit vibe."
Whilst I agree with you, I have downvoted you, because you brought that fucking travesty of a character into an entertaining star wars discussion. How many years have we spent trying to ignore him?
Plus, I will never be able to look at my wife's sex toys again without thinking about him. That's going to put a crimp on my Xmas break.
Bastard.
"Get in there you big furry oaf. I don't care what you smell"
"You're got something jammed in here real good"
"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid"
"Control! Control! You must learn control!"
And obviously: "Look at the size of that thing!"
"...don't get cocky!"
"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
"Aren't you a little short for a Storm Trooper?"
"Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
" I can see the tower, but I can't see the exhaust port"
"You're all clear, kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!"
"Possible he came in through the south entrance."
"Hurry up, golden-rod..."
"I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"
"I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
"Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
"Rise, my friend."
"Open the back door!"
"Hey, point that thing somewhere else!"
"I want you to take her. I mean it, take her!"
"Get clear Wedge, you can't do any more good back there!"
I didn't realize there were so many double-entendres in Star Wars. Disney does the same thing.
Quoted them so I can easily find them for reference.
"Went looking for a suitable quote..."
Went to Leeds a couple of weeks ago to watch Queen and Adam Lambert (brilliant, by the way).
On leaving the arena, half the sodding local roads were shut as was the M621. As was a chunk of the M1.
Believe me....Leeds to the dark side is about right!!!
"sorry about the mess"
"you came in that thing?, You're braver than I thought"
"And I thought they smelled bad on the outside"
"Theres an awful lot of moisture in here"
"Rise my friend"
"into the garbage shoot fly boy"
"you're all clear kid, now let's blow this thing and go home"
Can't believe I'm he first to point out the XKCD reference.
"[At the time of publication, the author of this piece was cringing as he keyed in the digits of the telephone number and prepared to ask probing questions about sci-fi dildos, as the rest of the office laughed and downed our festive drinks – Ed.]"
Richard, did the Ed make you do this for suggesting the story, or did you lose a bet ?
IV - A New Hole.
V - The Empire round the back.
VI - Return of the Jism
I - The Phanny Menace
II - Attack of the clits
III - Revenge of the slit
VII - The Fanny Awakens
VIII - The Last Jism
IX - TBC
The Jism Strikes Back.
snicker snicker snicker
"No, I am your father"
"She’s fast enough for you, old man"
"Just for once, let me look on you with my own eyes"
"There’s always a bigger fish"
"I sense much fear in you"
"So this is how liberty dies"
"I think I just blasted it"
"Stay on target"
"Now, witness the power of this fully operational battle station.”
"Give yourself to the Dark Side"
"Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your… sister"
"Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you."
"I assure you, Lord Vader. My men are working as fast as they can.”
"Boy, it’s lucky you have these compartments!"
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