back to article IBM opens emergency escape hatch to TSS volunteers

IBM is seeking volunteers in Technology Support Services (TSS) to throw themselves down the redundancy chute by the end of the year. As revealed by The Reg last week, Big Blue’s UK top brass told staff to form a body of employees for both TSS and IS Delivery to represent the workforce as the latest round of layoffs take shape …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    This sounds like an episode of W1A where all these roles have been reimagined from several to zero

  2. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Agreed. Spelling IBM wrong was rather good but higher ware locations might be my favourite. Any full noe WareZ end in the Z ;)

      1. sorry, what?

        Typos (now gone)

        I rather liked that IBM was shipping roles off to Easter Europe.

        I only assume this is a land full of cheerful colours, bonnets, eggs and rabbits all having a really good time whilst the poorly paid IT folks sit in the gutter randomly typing Shakespeare sonnets on their ancient PCs.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Indeed - the missing number is at least 198 staff departing across the two business units, based on the length of the consultation period.

  3. Missing Semicolon Silver badge

    Import duties

    At some point, we're going to need import duties on contracted-out labour, or there will simply be no IT staff in the UK at all.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Import duties

      No, this is self correcting. The only reason they outsource is cost, they certainly would prefer to have staff here in the local language and time zone. Once enough people become jobless, wages will drop and the "living wage" will be forgotten about since all of the supporting roles will go as well (coffee shops are part funded by IT staff!). At some point, India/China/Etc. will begin ramping up their wages as expectations rise and they start believing that every person is entitled to high speed Internet, XBOX, big screen TV and hookers. They will introduce minimum wages and gradually work up to the point that the UK becomes cheaper.

      This all might happen when Brexit goes live and we become bankrupt, so not long to wait now...

      FWIW the IMF and EU are there to tax and redistribute wealth already. The issue is that the wealthy nations all feel ripped off and try to get out of paying. This leads to destabilisation and war in the same way as reducing tax/benefits at a local level leads to rising crime and violence.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: there will simply be no IT staff in the UK at all.

      That will apply to the whole industry before 2020.

      I'm sort of glad that my job went to India when it did. not had a sniff of another post that paid above entry level since. But doing an O.U. Degree stops me from being idle.

      Enrty level salaries for people with 30 years experience! I'd like to see an entry level person write the sort of code that I can but hey, it will all be done in India or by Robots before the decade is out.

      Men in Sheds here I come.

    3. Portent

      Re: Import duties

      And the UK government wonder why we can't entice enough people to get into IT. What's in it for those people if they will just get laid off a few years down the line.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Easter Europe?

    Pay eggs, get bunnies?

    1. DNTP

      Re: Easter Europe?

      Expect bonnets, get botnets?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Funny that financial thing...

    seems to tie in with IBM offshoring more and more work. One would think the more they offshore, the more money they would make. Doesn't seem to be working that way for them though does it? Some may wonder why that is.

    1. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

      Re: Funny that financial thing...

      Dumbsourcing probably is at best a net wash on the money. All you have done is moved the costs around at the risk of alienating customers.

  6. defiler

    How many people are left at IBM now?

    Surely it must be Ginny and the HR dept left...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: How many people are left at IBM now?

      HR went ages ago. It's all in Hungary and the Philippines now. To be fair, my dealings with the Hungarians have been very good; they've been prompt and very helpful. The staff in the Philippines, who are presumably being paid next to nothing are very much of the "computer says no" ilk.

      1. GruntyMcPugh

        Re: How many people are left at IBM now?

        "Computer Says No"

        Ha, I had that experience, but from an IBM colleague in Bangalore. I was trying to get a phone login set up, so I could use the hotdesks at one location, so I filled out the form. After several weeks, the reply came back 'Denied, insufficient capacity' .... so I emailed them, and they explained they had created as many accounts as there were telephones, so there was no more capacity. I tried to explain they were hotdesks, and as I was sat at one, with a phone right in front of me, capacity wasn't a problem. "But what if someone we have already issued an ID to wants to use the phone?" they replied,.... 'Well, they could get into the office earlier,and get a desk, but as I'm here, and these desks are first come, first served, I get the desk, and the phone',.... I gave up attending the office at that point and did permanent wfh, .... with my own phone.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: How many people are left at IBM now?

          The one I remember was when I was out of the country at a customer. My last day there was a long one, I knew it would be, so I booked a late flight home. This ended up being delayed so I got some overpriced food at the airport. I got home in the early hours.

          When I came to claim for this, I was told I couldn't, because I had returned home that night, therefore wasn't on a business trip and should have prepared and cooked a meal at 2 in the morning, before getting up a few hours later to go to work. The policy apparently was that you could only claim if you were staying away.

          I returned to the same customer and this time, I booked a lunch time flight home. I put in a claim for a whole day of work, which will inevitably have been passed on to the customer. If they had complained about this, I didn't care. When I escalated the claim through management I was told to make up a claim that would get through the system.

          Just one reason I left.....

  7. GruntyMcPugh

    Statutory Minimum for VR,.... FFS IBM, throw them a bone before you throw them under the bus. Why would anyone take VR for Stat Min, rather than tough it out and take one more month's salary if they are in scope for Involuntary Redundancy?

    1. DNTP

      Why would a company waste actual money on people who are so disloyal that they'd VOLUNTEER to not work there any more? /sarcasm

  8. Stevie


    From the New Script

    "You have a category one issue with your AIX hypervisor software?"

    "I will in one minute connect you with a Linux expert. But first, Oh my God, I must tell you that your Vindows are infecting the internet with viruses."

  9. krivine

    Mme La Guillotine?

    "... we will move to an involuntary separation phase"

    Or just managementNewspeakBollix for "compulsory redundancies"? I'd put nothing past them.

  10. herbgold

    "Open Voluntary Separation Program(me)" - don't you love it. It was CTP (Career Transition Programme) back in the day, or "Career Termination Programme" as we renamed it.

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