O Christmas wreath, O Christmas wreath, thy potent skunk's in bunches

Nothing says Christmas like a wreath. Except of course a reefer wreath. But why stop at Jesus and Mary, when you can add a full ounce of Mary Jane, dressed with eucalyptus, wheat and rosemary that stoners can use to decorate their knockers this festivus. The seasonal arrangement, only on sale in Los Angeles, is the result of a …

[Anonymous Coward]

Was the author stoned when they wrote this?

[Michael Habel]

I hope so.... Life's to short for sobriety.

[Paul Kunert]

How dare you sir? I'd only drunk a couple of cartons of cheap wine by lunch. This is only Wednesday! Regs, Paul @ The Reg

[chivo243]

Well versed

The author seems to quite a bit about some of the designer strains... (best Arte Johnson) interesting,

very interesting ;-}

[Paul Kunert]

Re: Well versed

A little thing called research. It's not an alien concept to us at The Reg, irrespective of how things may appear on the surface. Best, Paul @ The Reg

[Anonymous Coward]

We need to transfer our traditions to America, a sausage roll would go down quite well with this I think.

[TRT]

...a sausage roll

or 4 if cut into mini-sausage rolls.

[Huw D]

Re: ...a sausage roll

Topical comment? On El Reg?

Must be Christmas.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Re: ...a sausage roll

Mini-sausage rolls? No need to do things by quarters here

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/08/08/footlong_sausage_roll_just_1_pound/

[frank ly]

Pics

"... decorate their knockers this festivus."

Pics, or ..... please?

[Morten_T]

Re: Pics

So I'm not the only one who caught that one. Good :)

It made me think of this article from a few days ago. It's in danish, but the pics don't need much a translation. It's probably NSFW, depending on your workplace.

https://ekstrabladet.dk/vrangen/vanvittig-dille-kvinder-stikker-brystet-ud-og-klaeder-det-ud-som-rensdyr/6943934

[John H Woods]

Dickens' story

Not Dicken's

Honestly, what are you on?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Dickens' story

Ah, there's no finer pedant than an apostrophe pedant. John H Wood's please take a bow.....

[Voland's right hand]

Re: Dickens' story

Honestly, what are you on?

Some stuff from the wreath I guess... Festive times come on...

[Swarthy]

Re: Dickens' story

Wouldn't it be Dickens's? Unless it's the property of all the Dickenses that descended from Charles, then it would be Dickenses'.

[Sam Therapy]

Re: Dickens' story

Dickens' or Dickens's are acceptable but the former is the modern, preferred usage in the UK.

[Packet]

A High holy day?

I thought the high holy days are a Judaism thing

[WolfFan]

Re: A High holy day?

In some parishes, every Sunday is a high holy day, after the resident clergy finish off the communion wine...

[Mike Moyle]

And for the added holiday color...

The Cherenkov radiation given off as these disappear from front doors at faster-than-light speeds add a festive glow to the neighborhood!

[Anonymous Coward]

The sooner

it's de-criminalised in the UK the better.

[jmch]

Re: The sooner

FTFY: The sooner it's de-criminalised in the world the better.

[EarthDog]

Re: The sooner

legalized FTFY

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: The sooner

Yeah i can't wait for vat to be added to my monthly expenditure...

[Duffy Moon]

Re: The sooner

"Yeah i can't wait for vat to be added to my monthly expenditure..."

Even with tax, it should still be cheaper than buying it on the black market. Plus, at least some of your money would go e.g. to the NHS as opposed to funding some thug's fast car.

Besides, if it's legal you can grow it legally.

[Montreal Sean]

Re: The sooner

July 1st, 2018. :)

[Sam Therapy]

Re: The sooner

Even though I don't indulge it's about damn time it was legalized.

[Alistair]

Put those up in this neck of the woods

.... and the teenagers *just* might leave the basements for the out of doors.....

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Put those up in this neck of the woods

Yeah, I won't be hanging my stash on the front door, thanks very much.

[TRT]

Our hallway...

already smells disgusting with weed as it is.*

*NOT mine, before anyone says. The junkers downstairs are growing it.

[Alex Wilson]

Re: Our hallway...

Buy em a carbon filter....everybody wins! :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Our hallway...

"already smells disgusting with weed as it is"

Don't know what the neighbours smoke - but when they light up - all the upwind houses close their windows. Pungent isn't half of it.

[Michael Habel]

Re: Our hallway...

So this is what Our EU President gets up to?

[RyokuMas]

Note to self...

... invest in munchie-van startup in LA...

[mhoulden]

Re: Note to self...

A few years ago a girl set up a stall selling Girl Scout cookies outside a pot dispensary. She sold 117 boxes of cookies in 2 hours and to had restock 45 minutes into her shift.

[Triggerfish]

Re: Note to self...

That's a kid with some biz sense.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Note to self...

What was in the cookies?

[Michael Habel]

Re: Note to self...

Thin Mints...

[Swarthy]

Re: Note to self...

A few years ago a girl set up a stall selling Girl Scout cookies outside a pot dispensary. She sold 117 boxes of cookies in 2 hours and to had restock 45 minutes into her shift.

And Colorado then enacted a law to prevent children from being within X number of feet from dispensaries. The given reason was to protect children from the influence of pot; but many believe (based on timing, etc.) that the real reason was to protect the stoners from Girl Scouts, armed with cookies.

[rmason]

Aaaaaaand...

What a lovely wre...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAND IT'S GONE!

It would be stolen faster than the actual $400 would be if you pinned that to your door.

[Mark 85]

Re: Aaaaaaand...

Maybe it's me.. but hang that overpriced decoration on the front door? No way. I'll just go buy the weed and keep it secure until it's all been turned into glorious smoke. The neighbors can go get their own instead of stealing off my front door. Yeah... I'm a bit a Grinch when it comes to the really good stuff and only share with really good friends.

[Little Mouse]

Re: Aaaaaaand...

I've hung mine up indoors.

Right next to my crystal meth advent calendar.

[Anonymous Coward]

@ $400 per Oz.

It bloody better be good stuff, with or without rosemary, eucalyptus et al!

AC for obvious reasons

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @ $400 per Oz.

AC because you think a $400 wreath is expensive?

I wouldn't have thought that to be controversial.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @ $400 per Oz.

"because you think a $400 wreath is expensive?"

Harrods do a "Large Highland Wreath (85cm)" - no weed - a mere GBP555***

***yes - Five hundred and fifty five British smackers. At that price you might have expected a bottle of a single malt in there somewhere.

[Prst. V.Jeltz]

Re: @ $400 per Oz.

Yeah but you can get a 50cm wreath on ebay for £6.37 , meaning that ounce is somewhere around $390

I dont know how people who can spend £555 on a temporary plant decoration for their door can live with themselves.

[unwarranted triumphalism]

Not funny in the slightest

Give a thought to those murdered by cannabis addicts.

[7teven 4ect]

Re: Not funny in the slightest

Not sure if trolling, high

or worse...

Never been high?

[kain preacher]

Re: Not funny in the slightest

I'm going

to go with trolling

[Mandoscottie]

Re: Not funny in the slightest

@unwarranted triumphalism

LOL what? the stoners couldnt be arsed answering the door (unless it is the dominos or pizza hut driver), never mind having the energy to chase someone or bump them off.

[Montreal Sean]

Re: Not funny in the slightest

Depends on the stoner.

My brother in law smokes a fair amount of pot on a daily basis.

He works a full time job as a waiter (with a 4am start time), is in University doing his master's in anthropology, and plays between 2 and 4 hours of ice hockey 5 nights a week.

You don't want to see him when he isn't smoking pot, he is a vibrating mass of unfocused energy.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Not funny in the slightest

Do you have any references to back up your claim of people murdered by cannabis addicts?

I'm having trouble picturing stoners with weapons attacking people.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Not funny in the slightest

Dude, this axe is like, so shiny. It's like the moon. You know what's cool about the moon? Hey remember the moon in Mighty Boosh? "Hi, I'm the moon" hahahaha.

Dude, what were we talking about?

[Michael Habel]

Re: Not funny in the slightest

Axes you say?

Do you like Huey Lewis, and the News?

[Sam Therapy]

Re: Not funny in the slightest

Very, very good. Have an upvote for Patrick Bateman content.

[Lee Mulcahy]

Manzanita is not an herb...

"the wreath uses Manzanita, a potent proprietary herb"

Manzanita is a bush/small tree that has branches that are probably being used to make the base of the wreath. The wood is hard, but the branches are flexible before drying out - once formed into a wreath shape, it would be perfect for holding the other stuff.

-- California guy

[Anonymous Coward]

Dope

I once got stoned at a friend's house and went into the kitchen to make a pot of tea. So picture this, I'm looking down on two round receptacles, one is the teapot and the other is the the tea caddy. One is empty and the other has tea bags. You may see where this is going :)

Clutching the kettle my arm starts to head for the obvious choice, the tea bags. Meanwhile my addled brain is trying to overrule my arm's decision by yelling noooo! down the nerve endings. Unfortunately my arm was now on autopilot and didn't listen. The tea caddy is now full of hot water, WTF!

It's called dope for a good reason :(

P.S. It's actually quite interesting how you can watch yourself making mistakes. Like when you crash your motorbike and as you fly through the air you're convinced that a forward roll will prevent injury. The reality is that an instant later you slam into the road. Ouch!

[simonb_london]

The perfect gift

For Peter Hitchens!