back to article Robot takes the job of sitting on your arse

Car-maker Ford has revealed a robot that's taken the job of sitting on your arse. Described as a “metallic butt” in video below, the device is used to determine “the exact pass pattern of a person's sitting behaviour” so that the company can design better car seats. The robot simulates sitting in and out of a car seat 25,000 …

  1. Tim99 Silver badge
    Stop

    We're calling it Seat-3-P-O

    Please don't...

  2. Philip Stott

    Arsey McArse Face

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      re: Arsey McArse Face

      Botty McBot bot

      1. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: re: Arsey McArse Face

        Botty McButt Bot, shirley?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Arsey McArse Face"

      I think Piers Morgan already owns that name.

    3. TheVogon

      "We're calling it Seat-3-P-O"

      Arse 2 Seat 2?

    4. John Robson Silver badge

      I was more thinking site mc sit face - but they possibilities for mispronouncing that are maybe a bit too close to NSFW in many places.

  3. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    The outcome is a better-designed seat, in this case for the Ford Fiesta.

    When they're done, perhaps they could lend it to British Airways?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      perhaps they could lend it to British Airways?

      Why would any airline want that? Economy airline seats are specifically made to be uncomfortable, to ensure those who can afford to a reason to pay premium fares.

      The whole experience of scheduled flying is so unnecessarily protracted and unpleasant, that they need economy class to be even more unpleasant than it need be, chosen only by those unable to afford to upgrade.

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

        chosen only by those unable to afford to upgrade.

        incorrect. I refuse to multiply the price of my flight by 5 just to get a bigger smile and a bowl of caviar. Long haul economy flights are pretty lush from what i remember, and when I get to be CEO of a giant company - the same goes for all the employees.

        *I've just googled Manchester to New York first class , and I'm revising that 5x estimate to 10x.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "I refuse to multiply the price of my flight by 5"

          Agree ... I've travelled transatlantic once in business class and, while very pleasant, I couldn't see it was woth the several £k. I have travelled premium economy for work (basically economy with legroom) and can just about see that being worthwhile - but wasn't when I was paying for our family holiday!

          "when I get to be CEO of a giant company"

          I remember when I was ot ST of stories there, during travel expenditure cut=backs, of Pasquale Pistorrio saying hello to ST managers in busness class who'd managed to get their flights signed off as a "necessary exception" from the economy class only rule while he walked past them to his seat in economy!

        2. TheVogon

          "and I'm revising that 5x estimate to 10x."

          Only 3X when you use Avios though :-)

    2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      The outcome is a better-designed seat, in this case for the Ford Fiesta.

      Must be a new invention. My wife had a Ford Explorer when the kids were younger. Most uncomfortable driver's seat I've ever been in. Always felt like I was going to slide off it (and I'm not a large party -- I'm 5'8" and 185 lbs). Sure, it was the cheapest seat option (not power, leather or heated), but it still should have been better designed.

      Toyota knows how to make seats. Even my daughter's cheap little Yaris was, if not a joy, at least not a pain, when we drove it across the US a few years ago. Quite an accomplishment for an econobox.

      1. Dave 126

        Bite My Shiny Metal Ass. Shirley?

        I mean, it is a bender unit after all, in that its purpose is to introduce deflections to a material.

      2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        The seats in the current Fiesta are quite good, had one as a rental last month for 2 weeks. But then I'd classify the current Fiesta as an actual car, unlike whatever the thing was Ford called Fiesta 40 years ago; which got it's nickname for a reason. (Yes, I checked. The first one came out in 1976. Feel free to feel old.)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Typical robots - half a job done

    So they've got the rubbing and shimmying bit sorted, easy, I say.

    But what about the corrosive affect of flatulence? Does Robo-bum generate the full symphony and chemical diversity of human arse gases? And sweat, it needs to exude gallons of salty, dirty, malodorous juice.

    1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

      Re: Typical robots - half a job done

      Looking at Just Rolled into the Shop sub-reddit I think it also needs to include a ground in Dorito, Wimpy Burger spillage tests (Other Foods and Fast Food Establishments are available).

    2. John 110

      Re: Typical robots - half a job done

      @Ledswinger -- "And sweat, it needs to exude gallons of salty, dirty, malodorous juice."

      I NEVER want to sit in your car...Never!!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Typical robots - half a job done

        I NEVER want to sit in your car...Never!!

        The smell is divine, give it a go, and you'll never look back.

    3. J. Cook Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: Typical robots - half a job done

      that's easily accomplished with a small spray unit installed in an (in)appropriate place and misting out a product known as 'liquid a$$' (the sweary version is the actual name of the product- seriously!), which should cover the smell factor.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    BUM9000...

    See title...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Would SEAT-3-P-O be already taken?

    By VAG?

    1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

      Re: Would SEAT-3-P-O be already taken?

      I must admit when I first saw Seat 3 P O I thought it was the VW brand as well.

  7. 0laf
    Go

    Didn't Volvo or Ikea have this in an advert about 20yr ago?

    Anyway should it be called Eugene after Arseface in Preacher?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Ikea have had (or at elast used to have) machines in store demosntrating this for years and years.

      They also used to have pieces of their flooriing in various places with real time counters counting how many steps had been taken on it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        The Ikea ones are utter rubbish.

        It is a device that moves in exactly the same motion constantly, nothing like the real world.

    2. phuzz Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      "Didn't Volvo or Ikea have this in an advert about 20yr ago?"

      Yep, and I'm guessing all of the large manufacturers do now, but congrats to Ford's marketing team for getting this story all over the place.

  8. Voland's right hand Silver badge

    Sitting and getting up is not the biggest damage factor

    The biggest damage to a car seat is from buttons and other uneven features on the clothing which covers our posterior.

    When buying a second hand car it is quite easy to see if the previous owner used to wear jeans with buttons on their wallet pocket and/or a large wallet - the traces are self-evident. In fact, for one of my cars, I ended up telling the dealership to order new driver seat upholstery if they want me to buy it. It had only 70k miles on the clock and was otherwise in reasonable condition - except the driver seat. It had a hole in the driver seat upholstery from the previous owner wallet + pocket buttons.

    I do not see how a metal butt which only sits up and down will test it. It needs to sit, wriggle for a few hours, then get up, then do it again.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Was it designed by Isaac Arseimov?

  10. magickmark

    Bum de bum bmu

    Seems a bit of a bums rush to me!!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is one machine sufficient - surely it would be more productive to have an array of these machines so could have a constant supply of seats at different agings available for analysis. To control/monitor these machines you would need some for of IoT infrastructure to form what I think would be a "bot net"

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    We're calling it Seat-3-P-O

    That is brilliant.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another useless invention.

    Oh look it gets in and out in a nice manner.

    Give it a few hours with a bunch of kids; eating food, spilling drinks, puking, peeing, climbing, tantruming, kicking, picking and pulling.

    Oh and a dash of someone spilling coffee all over it as well.

    Then get back to me with you namby pamby testing robot.

  15. Michael Strorm Silver badge

    No references to "shiny metal ass"...?!

    Reg I am disappoint.

  16. AceRimmer1980
    Terminator

    The Cushionator

    after Bender's girlfriend on the Moon.

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Simply

    Ro - bot

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If humans are no longer necessary for seated jobs ...

    ... does that mean I can now work in bed all day with a clear conscience?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If humans are no longer necessary for seated jobs ...

      NO!

      Bed should never be associated with work.

      Slobbing on the sofa is OK though.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I need to sit down after reading this article ...

  21. Timo
    Flame

    other names

    What about:

    The Butt-ler

    or

    Robo-butt, Ro-Butt

    With flames shooting out of its arse.

  22. Blake Davis

    Sir-Sits-A-Lot sounds better to me.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Enquiring minds

      ..want to know if the robots will be running Dabsys new embedded OS..

      (Yay! Threads successfully crossed. I wonder that the opening Gate will reveal..)

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about a robotic back?

    I've never once had my ass become sore from sitting in a car. My back, on the other hand...

  24. Chemical Bob
    Coat

    C'mon, El Reg, you missed the obvious

    Ford Prefect

    With apologies to Douglas Adams

  25. ar12

    The Terminatarse

    Sounds about right for a robuttic assassin

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