Then it will be...
...that a passing shark dismembered the corpse, no, wait, she fell into some machinery that sliced her up, no, wait, she decided to commit suicide by submarine ladder.
Submarine builder admits dismembering journalist's body
The man charged with the murder of a Swedish journalist in his private submarine has admitted dismembering her body and dumping the parts into the sea – but insists he did not kill her. Danish police said in a statement that Peter Madsen admitted dumping journalist Kim Wall's severed head and limbs overboard from his submarine …
-
This post has been deleted by its author
-
-
Monday 30th October 2017 22:37 GMT a_yank_lurker
@hatti, If this were an accidental death or negligent homicide there would be no reason to dismember the body. Carbon monoxide poisoning, blunt force trauma to the top of the head (hatch scenario), or even drowning leave specific forensic clues that could validate a story. Also, most homicide detectives get very suspicious when the story makes no sense with the known facts and even more so when the suspect keeps changing his story. A person telling the truth does not change the story in any significant detail over a few weeks. Dismembering a body is almost always done to hide a murder.
-
-
Monday 30th October 2017 16:45 GMT Bloodbeastterror
"Very Bad Things"
I watched this movie, a Christian Slater psycho showcase, just the other day, and this submarine story reminds me of it a lot. Accidental killing of a woman during a stag party in a Vegas hotel, Slater pushes his mates to cover it up, kills hotel security guy, dismembers both and buries them in the desert. And downhill from then on, which I reckon is the way this will go.
For an inventor he's piss-poor at inventing a believable story...
-
Tuesday 31st October 2017 13:08 GMT Voland's right hand
Re: "Very Bad Things"
For an inventor
Stop calling him an inventor. There is fuck all new in his submarine. There is absolutely no inventions as defined in IPR law in it.
He simply scaled down some WW2 era blueprints as used by recreational sub builders and failed to build them twice, barely succeeding to produce something half workable on the third attempt.
-
-
-
-
-
Tuesday 31st October 2017 00:08 GMT Dave 126
Re: What's next?
It's not those sketches, it's the sketch where a man waiting for his host sees a bookshelf fall over, then a tea cup flies off a table if its own accord, then a maid enters and asks him to hold a knife whilst she tidies up the mess - before she falls into the blade in his hand. The man flees, only to see the house collapse behind him.
-
Wednesday 1st November 2017 16:57 GMT Stevie
Re:It's not those sketches, it's the sketch where ...
In my head as I read:
"I understand you had your head nailed to the floor"
"Nahnahnahnahnah! Ole Dinsey wouldn't do that. 'E used to take flowers to 'is muvver did ole Dinsey."
"But the police have film of him nailing your head to the floor."
"Oh well, yeah, 'e did that, yeah. But ... etc."
-
-
-
-
-
Monday 30th October 2017 16:57 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: What's next?
"I can't figure out what admission could possibly follow this one. It's starting to read like a Monty Python sketch."
You have it wrong. The upper class twits had to get the bra off the deb before shooting themselves.
Though in this case that would perhaps have been a more satisfactory outcome. Despite the flippancy of this post I feel extremely sorry for the woman and those close to her. It's a reminder that proper journalists - I mean ones who investigate - do risk death and some of them die every year.
-
-
-
This post has been deleted by its author
-
Monday 30th October 2017 20:33 GMT Jon 37
Re: Certainly horrifying, and I hope the Danish cops throw the book at this guy.
The Reg first covered the sub's sinking when Kim Wall was just missing. I believe "DIY submarine sinks in mysterious circumstances" qualified as enough of a tech angle for the Bootnotes section. I'm sure that The Reg would consider this story to be a followup on that, but I'm not sure it qualifies any more. It's been clear for a while that he deliberately sank the submarine (and Madsen has admitted that), so the tech angle is finished. The lurid details of what happened on ship before that aren't really on topic for The Register and are being well-covered by other news sources.
However, the story is clearly getting clicks and comments, so maybe that's enough for the new Register overlords.
-
Tuesday 31st October 2017 10:58 GMT phuzz
Re: Certainly horrifying, and I hope the Danish cops throw the book at this guy.
Madsen was one of the founder members of Coopenhaagen Suborbitals, before eventually being voted out a few years back.
-
-
Monday 30th October 2017 18:25 GMT Cynic_999
Not very clever
He dumped her corpse inside the harbour? Had he gone just 5 miles offshore and dumped the weighted body during an outgoing tide the chances of it ever being found would have been zero to slim. He then compounded his lack of forethought by failing to figure out the totality of evidence that was bound to be found and devising a credible story that would account for it. Murder at sea when there was only the perp and the victim on board is probably the easiest of serious crimes to cover up.
-
-
Monday 30th October 2017 23:37 GMT Lars
Re: Remind me not to hire you as a disposal expert.
"Good luck finding an "outgoing" tide in Öresund. Tidal movement in that area and in the Baltic area is negligible.".
Yes, there is no tide in the Baltic, one reason is that the Baltic is very shallow, not much water and I suppose there could be other "earth/moon" trajection reasons too (just guessing), anyway no tide tables.
But if you have sailed there you would know there is a constant movement of water out from the Baltic towards the west. Just occasionally, and much too seldom, there is a surge of fresh (and much needed*) saltwater into the Baltic. The difference in the amount of salt in the water is actually quite surprising, drinking the Baltic sea water will not harm you due to the salt, there is just enough for any soup. Kid memories here.
So in other words "no problem finding outgoing water in Öresund".
PS. Swedes could tell you more about how to prepare fish in tins without more or less any salt. And the reason is just because there is not much salt around, not the taste I would claim (not to mention the smell).
* I could be wrong but I think it's some 20 years since the last bigger one.
-
-
Monday 30th October 2017 21:40 GMT Lars
Re: Not very clever
Yes indeed but that in my opinion might prove he did not intend to kill her or he would have been more clever. Something most likely went very very wrong, perhaps she said no. Then there is this question how we perform during severe stress. (supposing it was an accident).
A few very sad stories I remember are a guy who run, with his car by accident, over two or was it three girls. The girls made a lot of noise (actually a good sign) but in his panic he killed the girls (his explanation), how the "law" reacted I don't know. Then there was this father who lost control of his car and ended up in a ditch with his family in great pain and noise inside, in his panic his runs onto the highway to get help but is run over and killed while his family is not severely hurt.
As for lying lets hope it doesn't imply insanity always, or we have one in the house of our friends.
I could assume his lawyer might try this "insanity" defence.
But I agree, do we need this kind of news here. I would say no, but I suppose it's really all about the submarine. So dear ElReg until there is a murder mystery in a flying machine. (trains are so yesterday).
-
Tuesday 31st October 2017 19:51 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Not very clever
Don’t forget, this is Øresund, with all the Russian military ships going through. Of course everywhere is festooned with every kind of ship-detecting device there is available to NATO. Submarines will get special attention.
The danish police had the exact route within days.
-
Tuesday 31st October 2017 09:53 GMT ukgnome
Jeez you guys
There is an entirely innocent explanation for all of this......
She banged didn't bang her head after not being dropped of at a restaurant. Just at the moment she thought she had banged her head there was a buildup of carbon monoxide. This rendered her unconscious and maybe dead. This chap did what we all would do. ALL OF US. And that is slightly dismember her whilst watching dismemberment videos. Scuppering the submarine and then forgetting this took place when asked and then slowly remembering what occurred due to terrible shock.
-
-
Tuesday 31st October 2017 20:15 GMT Anonymous Coward
I think he did think he would get away with it. That he actually believes he is such a fantastic, famous, brilliant, person that his fame and star quality world work the same way it did with O.J. Simpson.
From what I hear, he was going nuts already a long time back, always using military words, wearing military clothing “because we are at war”. Friends tend to maybe not see what is happening, “yes, he is a bit eccentric, but....” because people around someone they like and respect, but happens to be a nutter, gets slowly recalibrated away from what is normal and what is not. Hearing some of the stories, it is obvious now that something was not right with that man.
Same with all the abuse cases coming out - normality is being restored, then people realize that “ Heyy, that’s not ok that”.
-
-
Tuesday 31st October 2017 16:30 GMT Allonymous Coward
I propose a new El Reg unit of measurement
The "Madsen" (Md). This is a measurement of the degree of change for an entity (be that an alibi, a software system, whatever) when moving from one state to another.
Examples:
A story that gets reversed in a subsequent retelling to law enforcement: change of 1 Md.
A minor update to a config file: change of 1 μMd.
Deploying "enterprise" software: change of 0.5KMd
Biting the hand that feeds IT
