Wrong idea Dabsy
Now that sounds like a lot more fun than undergoing systematic elimination by Cyberdyne T-800 Model 101s. Not so much "I'll be back" as "I'll rub your back".
You have not seen real massage Dabsy. You need to go to the Balkans or even better - to Turkey. There, the local Terminator will terminate you, disassemble you and reassemble you in one piece in about an hour if they are in a hurry, up to four hours if you want a full "annual pre-MOT service".
It is not "I'll rub your back", it is "I will separate your back into pieces and if you leave enough mullah in the tip pot I will be kind enough to put it back together". The experience is one in a lifetime (for a westerner) and the results are amazing. All of this is provided that you are not scared to undergo the procedure (the average UK dweller will have a brown pants moment at the idea of a entering a Turkish Bath and facing some of these guys. Hint - they are BIG).
So, coming back to T800. If the aforementioned masseur (or should it be masseuress?) can do REAL massage it will not be far off from a T800 in its damage potential. No thanks, I will actually leave that job to a human for now.