back to article Ducks ding dongs in face of stiff competition

Waterfowl situation... Some alpha ducks bully smaller ducks so much when competing for mates that the beta birds' undercarriages barely take off, so to speak, a new study has found. Ducks are pretty unusual, in that some species temporarily grow their penises for the mating season, and penis shape and size is already diverse …

  1. Mark 110

    "Brennan said, is the aggressive nature of the ruddy duck – the dominant male will attack any potential competitors to stop them from mating."

    Sounds a bit like Liverpool on a Saturday night.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Sounds a bit like Liverpool on a Saturday night.

      Having just searched, I see that according to the RSPB website, in the UK, the ruddy duck "is subject to a Government-led eradication programme. As a result, the UK population of ruddy ducks now stands at fewer than 150 individuals."

      One hopes this is not /too/ much like Liverpool on a Saturday night.

      1. AndyS

        Re: Sounds a bit like Liverpool on a Saturday night.

        Sounds like an ideal solution to a Saturday night in Liverpool.

  2. Cynical Observer
    Trollface

    “Essentially, it’s so they won’t get beaten up too badly by the dominant male, because he’ll peck them to control their reproduction,” Brennan said.

    Ah! So the dominant duck is the biggest pecker.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IT angle

    Duck Duck Go Fuck Yourself?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    7inch? What on earth does the anatomy of a female duck look like if it can acccommodate that?

    What's quackspeak for "it's not how big it is, it's what you do with it" ?

    1. Triggerfish

      @AC re:7inches

      Try some Zefrank :)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k01DIVDJlY

      1. matchbx

        Re: @AC re:7inches

        I've seen that several years ago....

        ducks todgers are freaky as hell...

        the one on the sea cucumber is funny too....

        1. Triggerfish

          Re: @AC re:7inches

          Being a fan of Mantis Shrimps that's one of my favourites, although the sad cat diary by him is also well worth a watch.

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          Re: @AC re:7inches

          "ducks todgers are freaky as hell...

          the one on the sea cucumber is funny too...."

          There may be examples here

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @AC re:7inches

            Duck Togers in the 25th Century

    2. Manolo
      Joke

      It probably looks like that bulge you might see under the waterline at the bow of a large ship.

      https://www.google.nl/search?q=ship+bow+bulge&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjjiPSXlrbWAhWIaVAKHZNlChgQ_AUICigB&biw=1920&bih=935

  5. Banksy

    Temporary penises

    I've heard it all now.

    As AC above says, how does a duck have a 7 incher? Would they be able to take off still?

    1. Francis Boyle

      No you haven't heard it all, yet

      Check Triggerfish's link. Turns out duck's penises are 'explosive'. Yes, there's video.

      1. Banksy

        Re: No you haven't heard it all, yet

        I'm going to gently rock back and forth while holding my knees now.

        The plus side of that video was it had some cute baby ducks in it. They didn't fully compensate for the horrors though.

        1. Triggerfish

          Re: No you haven't heard it all, yet

          Maybe I should have said you won't walk through the park and look at the Mallards in the same way now. :)

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Temporary penises

      "Would they be able to take off still?"

      No, they are moving when they take off.

    3. Jtom

      Re: Temporary penises

      They don't bother flying. They simpy pole vault.

  6. Farnet

    7 Inches!

    I suppose it could also used as a rudder......

    But think about it, in a pond full of fish that could be counted as a different type if lure.... and if the pond has a pike or two....

    [crosses legs at the thought]

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gives new meaning to scared dickless.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So, some ducks are dabbling then.

  9. drand
    Coat

    Quack!

    It's a grower not a shower

  10. DanceMan

    Interesting conversation

    So what kind of research do you do?

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