back to article Amazon crowd-sources new HQ location, Bezos tells mayors to woo him

Amazon has gone full "The Bachelor" in its search for a city to host a second corporate headquarters. The mail-order retail giant said on Thursday that the "HQ2" facility, wherever it may land, would host up to 50,000 employees and serve as the secondary base of operations to its existing Seattle headquarters. Amazon is …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm...

    Someone is taking too seriously the fact that Seattle is in range for Kim Fat The Turd...

    It will probably be cheaper to build some interceptors using parts from the Blue Origin program.

    Me coat... Before the Black Helicopters, err Delivery Drones arrive from Marshall Airfield...

  2. DNTP

    Hey Amazon

    Come to Boston, we are super god damn friendly. Some of you think I'm lying. The truth is that Boston friendship is like Boston driving- directionless, reckless and frequently screaming obscenities. I go out to San Fran, Seattle- why are all these people being nice? Why do they walk so slowly everywhere? How the hell does anything get done on time? Anyway this is the best place so just get out here already.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beginning of the end

    If Bozos thinks that another fifty thousand unproductive HQ roles are going to make him even richer, then he may have an unpleasant surprise coming in a few year's time.

    Other distractions will be the immense amount of travel and hotel costs that the employees will rack up in "essential business trips" between sites, and the fact that if there's so much as two jobs that overlap, the two locations won't play nicely with each other. And doubling the number of your HQ employees....well, that's going to really create a lean, creative, bureaucracy-free environment, is it not?

    1. Korev Silver badge

      Re: Beginning of the end

      Or could it just be an attempt to gradually phase out the old HQ?

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
    Coat

    Take a note from Omni Consumer Products

    Detroit is ripe for some urban renewal! Will also make an ideal testing ground for some of the more "advanced" drone models.

    1. Snowy
      Joke

      Re: Take a note from Omni Consumer Products

      Yes but can they afford the big tax breaks that Amazon so badly needs to survive? /sarcasm.

  5. Herby

    What if...

    They gave a party and nobody came?

    One wonders. Build a stadium? It seems that cities like to do this to get football (American) teams to move. Las Vegas likes to do just that.

    Maybe he needs to build a city from scratch. Call it "Amazonia", and eventually it will have a million people fawning over it.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It is way past time that Cities, State and the Federal Government said screw you to companies that'll move for a tax break. It should be illegal to offer one and illegal to refuse to ask for one. If your business model requires that it's a broken business model, if you want one just just because...well, go pound sand.

  7. partypop69

    California :)

    Come negotiate lower taxes with Sacramento.

  8. Jkilkullen

    Employees have to want to live there.

    I'm thinking Montreal or Austin. I mean, Detroit desperately needs this, but none of the tech workers will want to live there.

  9. Jkilkullen

    Employees have to want to live there.

    I'm thinking Montreal or Austin.

  10. xXSwolGunzXx

    IOW hiring everyone remotely qualified that they can find in Seattle, or willing to move to Seattle, to work crazy hours for below-market pay is no longer enough and headcount is dropping at Amazon's main people warehouse. Solution being, of course, scaling up. There's no problem Bezos can't solve by going bigger! To be fair it's worked so far.

  11. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    A White Elephant in the making

    A few years down the line, virtually everyone who works for Amazon will be replaced by Robots. The same goes at Tesla, McDonalds and a host of other companies.

    The Robots don't need breaks, pay no Taxes (not that is ever a problem at Amazon), don't need healthcare etc etc etc.

    But Mr Bezos, with everyone out of work and in poverty or close to it, how will anyone but the few remaining super rich be able to afford even food let alone the rest of the 'tat' that you flog?

  12. Stu Mac

    He should be building it in Northern Ireland or England then. Be far better.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New Detroit

    Perhaps AMZ should look to formerly-tech places with tons of abandoned office space. Try Poughkeepsie or Kingston NY, turned into ghost-towns after Big Blew-it moved from the high-tech industry to the employee-reduction industry.

  14. Dale 3

    Seattle

    Maybe part of the plan is to send a message to Seattle city to give them a better deal for the existing HQ1 facility, otherwise they'll gradually shift more and more operations over to HQ2. Or play the cities off against each other.

  15. Chemical Bob

    There's always Natesville...

    ...if anyone can find it.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raising_Hope#Premise

  16. OMNET63
    Thumb Up

    Maple HQ2

    Waterloo Ontario Canada, a high tech hub that tech people will love. Two universities, and one college with fresh graduate drone production for Amazonian assimilation . No H1B visa issues, and the Canadian dollar as compensation currency! Win Win Win

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